I Blew Up At The Missus This Evening.

[Kilgore Trout]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

For sure, BUT, this IS a different continent with Very different folk. BIG learning curve for us all.

For sure; I'm still trying to find that happy medium; both cultures are important, but for me as a westerner the most important thing is that she makes an effort to meet halfway. There has to be reasonableness, not getting it is extremely frustrating.

[Kilgore Trout]

with your current rate of posting, you will reach 1000 posts. Soon you will be able to join the"popular boys" table and use the forum as a private chatroom, all "liking" eachothers posts ofcourse

?????????

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters Either you are the real relationship-problem solvers, or you just like to see yourself "in writing" . With a few exceptions most of you don't contribute anything to make life better for the OP. Just talking between yourselves. Not only on this thread, but on many other subjects.

Good for Thaivisa to keep the forum alive

Lets let the op decide that, sometimes people just need to know they're not alone.

[transam]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

For sure, BUT, this IS a different continent with Very different folk. BIG learning curve for us all.

For sure; I'm still trying to find that happy medium; both cultures are important, but for me as a westerner the most important thing is that she makes an effort to meet halfway. There has to be reasonableness, not getting it is extremely frustrating.

Yes indeed, and l am still struggling, but think we ALL have the same problem, or perhaps not a problem, as we, me, enjoy something different after ones lives adventures. .

[kerryk]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

[jackinbkk]

I read the first 4 pages of this thread. To the Op I would suggest some time away if it's possible. It may make them realise how much you really mean to them. It wont be easy to do. Try to stay uncontactable for 2,3 or even 4 weeks. It would be a psychological battle to do.

It is a shame the way things are. If things don't work out then I would suggest moving to another place and making sure the little girl understands that your door is always open. Hopefully there wont be the issue of violence with a crazy ex.

I can understand all those people who have difficulty with face to face sit downs. My wife usually uses th silent treatment. I usually end up feeling sorry for her and apologising even when i'm not in the wrong. For small meaningless arguments it isn't worth the hassle. It can save hours or days of headaches but it could go to far over time. Like it seems t has here.

Good luck

Edited June 14, 2012 by jackinbkk

[Kilgore Trout]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

If thats what gives him pleasure, I say go for it. Easy for her to tell him to stop when he's supporting her and her family. Maybe if he felt more supported and cared for by her he would be more compelled to stop.

If she's rarely at home or out with the neighbors when she is, as is part of the problem, then does she just want him to sit around at home alone and sober? That's not fair.

[kerryk]

I was watching a TV show about cooks. You know what a restaurant manager wants in a new cook? Be fast and perfect and clean. He doesn’t want to learn anything from you. He doesn’t want creativity. He does not want new ideas.

I think it is the same with Thai women. I live in Thailand and only Thailand. I am never going back to the West. I don’t like the West any more.

My Thai woman doesn’t want to learn anything. She doesn’t want creativity. She does not want any new ideas. Any of you who think that a Thai lady is any different than the average restaurant manager are deluded.

There is a thread running now about Thai women liking 18 carat gold and diamonds! Ya right! Denial.

[edwinclapham]

I read the first 4 pages of this thread. To the Op I would suggest some time away if it's possible. It may make them realise how much you really mean to them. It wont be easy to do. Try to stay uncontactable for 2,3 or even 4 weeks. It would be a psychological battle to do.

It is a shame the way things are. If things don't work out then I would suggest moving to another place and making sure the little girl understands that our door is always open.

I can understand all those people who have difficulty with face to face sit downs. My wife usually uses th silent treatment. I usually end up feeling sorry for her and apologising even when i'm not in the wrong. For small meaningless arguments it isn't worth the hassle. It can save hours or days of headaches but it could go to far over time. Like it seems t has here.

Good luck

You see Jack, I could never in a month of Sundays do that!

Would you accept this behaviour from a child or an animal? I most certainly wouldnt! You are loosing your self respect,/ self esteem , face!

I would rather a continuous headache than give into a spoilt unreasonable brat partner who has probably watched too many of those disgusting soaps! Who the hell do they think they are?

Man you are selling your soul and I would be on the first bus out, seriously!

Edited June 14, 2012 by edwinclapham

[TommoPhysicist]

I never argue with my wife.

She starts to argue, headphones on for me, or shag her, or go out alone for a few beers.

Usually depending on the time of day.

[BookMan]

with your current rate of posting, you will reach 1000 posts. Soon you will be able to join the"popular boys" table and use the forum as a private chatroom, all "liking" eachothers posts ofcourse

?????????

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters Either you are the real relationship-problem solvers, or you just like to see yourself "in writing" . With a few exceptions most of you don't contribute anything to make life better for the OP. Just talking between yourselves. Not only on this thread, but on many other subjects.

Good for Thaivisa to keep the forum alive

You are making some good positive comments today Soi41. This, and the one before in another thread I think,about increasing postings in a short space of time: to keep TV a more interesting place I presume?

Initially I thought you were just a little bitter about not being able to afford to live on Soi 55 or thereabouts...

But now I realise you are genuinely positive and want the best for ThaiVisa and its members and like to give good encouraging feedback!

Keep up the good work!!

Edited June 14, 2012 by BookMan

[kerryk]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

If thats what gives him pleasure, I say go for it. Easy for her to tell him to stop when he's supporting her and her family. Maybe if he felt more supported and cared for by her he would be more compelled to stop.

If she's rarely at home or out with the neighbors when she is, as is part of the problem, then does she just want him to sit around at home alone and sober? That's not fair.

I don't know if she cares about his smoking and drinking. If someone tells another person to stop smoking and drinking that is hardly a person who has no concern for you. Smoking and drinking are not good for you. I sit home alone and sober every day while my lady is at work making the money. This is normal. Most people in the world are sober most days. I really like being alone and sober. I read and write and cook and do the laundry. Lady works I stay home.

[transam]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

If thats what gives him pleasure, I say go for it. Easy for her to tell him to stop when he's supporting her and her family. Maybe if he felt more supported and cared for by her he would be more compelled to stop.

If she's rarely at home or out with the neighbors when she is, as is part of the problem, then does she just want him to sit around at home alone and sober? That's not fair.

I don't know if she cares about his smoking and drinking. If someone tells another person to stop smoking and drinking that is hardly a person who has no concern for you. Smoking and drinking are not good for you. I sit home alone and sober every day while my lady is at work making the money. This is normal. Most people in the world are sober most days. I really like being alone and sober. I read and write and cook and do the laundry. Lady works I stay home.

BUT, BUT, I drink beer every day, never drunk, well, wobble a bit at parties , my mrs says, you drink beer every day, l say you eat Pok Pok AND lots more every day. She says , smoking not good, l say Isaan is No 1 for stomach and intestinal cancer in the world cos of the uncooked crap you eat. Rubbish, she says. I say, give up eating uncooked crap and l will give up stuff. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, all gone quiet.

[soi41]

with your current rate of posting, you will reach 1000 posts. Soon you will be able to join the"popular boys" table and use the forum as a private chatroom, all "liking" eachothers posts ofcourse

?????????

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters Either you are the real relationship-problem solvers, or you just like to see yourself "in writing" . With a few exceptions most of you don't contribute anything to make life better for the OP. Just talking between yourselves. Not only on this thread, but on many other subjects.

Good for Thaivisa to keep the forum alive

You are making some good positive comments today Soi41. This, and the one before in another thread I think,about increasing postings in a short space of time: to keep TV a more interesting place I presume?

Initially I thought you were just a little bitter about not being able to afford to live on Soi 55 or thereabouts...

But now I realise you are genuinely positive and want the best for ThaiVisa and its members and like to give good encouraging feedback!

Keep up the good work!!

In my part of the woods soi41 is a far better adress than 55! But thanks. Ran out of vinegar today, will soon be back as my usual cynical self.

[TommoPhysicist]

In my part of the woods soi41 is a far better adress than 55! But thanks. Ran out of vinegar today, will soon be back as my usual cynical self.

I would have liked this post, sorry, already ran out of likes today, will be back with more tomorrow.

[transam]

In my part of the woods soi41 is a far better adress than 55! But thanks. Ran out of vinegar today, will soon be back as my usual cynical self.

I would have liked this post, sorry, already ran out of likes today, will be back with more tomorrow.

Hope he buys Sarsons, sorry, noooooooooo substitute.

[Kilgore Trout]

You deserve your smokes and beer, don't let anyone tell you different.

I too understand how difficult it is dealing with a Thai spouse, they think they can treat you in ways that they would never accept if you treated them that way. For me this is the most difficult thing to put up with, they are completely run by their emotions and initial feelings about something, then, I don't know, maybe the face thing kicks in and they just turn to stone.

I think that if someone really loves you, then face shouldn't mean shit.

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

If thats what gives him pleasure, I say go for it. Easy for her to tell him to stop when he's supporting her and her family. Maybe if he felt more supported and cared for by her he would be more compelled to stop.

If she's rarely at home or out with the neighbors when she is, as is part of the problem, then does she just want him to sit around at home alone and sober? That's not fair.

I don't know if she cares about his smoking and drinking. If someone tells another person to stop smoking and drinking that is hardly a person who has no concern for you. Smoking and drinking are not good for you. I sit home alone and sober every day while my lady is at work making the money. This is normal. Most people in the world are sober most days. I really like being alone and sober. I read and write and cook and do the laundry. Lady works I stay home.

Ok Mr. Mom...does she keep your nuts in a tin box or did she throw them out when she castrated you?

[baboon]

Has anyone here ever had a reasonable resolution to any problem by sitting down with their Thai SO and having a discussion about YOUR issues? I know I haven't. It's like talking to a wall. Once a Thai has something set in their mind -or- you take them to task on YOUR issues, it's always the same result, for me anyway. I get the dead-eyes look as if I am the one that is crazy.

Sorry to be negative, but the OP needs to put himself first, then his extended family. Including the step-daughter.

If your wife just ups and disappears after an argument, without so much as a goodbye, then that speaks volumes. I suggest that the OP do the same. I would tell the step-daughter that dad has to go away for a while and that mom will take care. Then just leave for an indefinite length of time. It will give both you and your wife time to decide what is important. If when you return there is no improvement in your wife's behavior, then for your own sake it's time to move on, no matter how painful. It only gets worse from here.

Oh yeah. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The only time I an really listened to at `my` place is when I have been pushed to the point of literally killing someone. OP; You are far, far from alone. Best of luck to you.

[kerryk]

The first time I was in SEA I was shooting at people and they were shooting at me. I couldn’t smoke or drink while that was going on. I made a promise to myself I would never run out of smokes or drinks if I got out alive.

And I didn’t for 40 years. Then a while back when I was laying on a hospital bed looking at an ultra sound picture of my heart beating and the doctor told me to look at the blocked artery he also told me If I wanted to live I would no longer smoke or drink.

Smoking and drinking to me has always been a life or death thing.

I think if you really love someone smoking and drinking shouldn’t mean shit.

If thats what gives him pleasure, I say go for it. Easy for her to tell him to stop when he's supporting her and her family. Maybe if he felt more supported and cared for by her he would be more compelled to stop.

If she's rarely at home or out with the when she is, as is part of the problem, then does she just want him to sit around at home alone and sober? That's not fair.

I don't know if she cares about his smoking and drinking. If someone tells another person to stop smoking and drinking that is hardly a person who has no concern for you. Smoking and drinking are not good for you. I sit home alone and sober every day while my lady is at work making the money. This is normal. Most people in the world are sober most days. I really like being alone and sober. I read and write and cook and do the laundry. Lady works I stay home.

Ok Mr. Mom...does she keep your nuts in a tin box or did she throw them out when she castrated you?

Because I don't smoke and drink I have a lot more energy. I am also alone all day long and sober as are roughly 400 Thai women of legal age who live within 100 meters of my home. Nor do I have a frustration level that forces me to attack people I don't know on the INTERNET. Castrated! Clean it up a bit. That was just nasty.

[Kilgore Trout]

Because I don't smoke and drink I have a lot more energy. I am also alone all day long and sober as are roughly 400 Thai women of legal age who live within 100 meters of my home. Nor do I have a frustration level that forces me to attack people I don't know on the INTERNET. Castrated! Clean it up a bit. That was just nasty.

Ok Wilt Chamberlain, don't have a hissy, I was only joking

[evadgib]

with your current rate of posting, you will reach 1000 posts. Soon you will be able to join the"popular boys" table and use the forum as a private chatroom, all "liking" eachothers posts ofcourse

?????????

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters Either you are the real relationship-problem solvers, or you just like to see yourself "in writing" . With a few exceptions most of you don't contribute anything to make life better for the OP. Just talking between yourselves. Not only on this thread, but on many other subjects.

Good for Thaivisa to keep the forum alive

The phrase you're looking for is "serial posters"

Back on Topic: Anyone in the OP's position should consider how quickly it would take Drummond to put up a tent in the back garden if mummy were to (claim to) have found a stache of Gary Glitter albums in the house...

Edited June 14, 2012 by evadgib

[transam]

with your current rate of posting, you will reach 1000 posts. Soon you will be able to join the"popular boys" table and use the forum as a private chatroom, all "liking" eachothers posts ofcourse

?????????

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters Either you are the real relationship-problem solvers, or you just like to see yourself "in writing" . With a few exceptions most of you don't contribute anything to make life better for the OP. Just talking between yourselves. Not only on this thread, but on many other subjects.

Good for Thaivisa to keep the forum alive

And you are No.7 eh. Welcome aboard with your off topic post, hmmm, yep, very helpful for the OP also.

[pipo1000]

This thread have a little more than 160 replies, of those 80 are from 6 posters

You know there is currently running a thread on another subforum that has 136 replies, with only 2 posters involved yet?

[TeeKay]

If the relationship means as much as you say, I'd try the following

1. Organize your thoughts and have a heartfelt talk

If nothing improves

2. Seek professional marriage guidance ( not sure if this type of help is possible in LOS).

If nothing changes

3. Accept her behavior or move on.

[transam]

If the relationship means as much as you say, I'd try the following

1. Organize your thoughts and have a heartfelt talk

If nothing improves

2. Seek professional marriage guidance ( not sure if this type of help is possible in LOS).

If nothing changes

3. Accept her behavior or move on.

This is LOS, not farangland, not farang lady, not Thai guy. Verrrry different stuff.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

If the relationship means as much as you say, I'd try the following

1. Organize your thoughts and have a heartfelt talk

If nothing improves

2. Seek professional marriage guidance ( not sure if this type of help is possible in LOS).

If nothing changes

3. Accept her behavior or move on.

I completely agree with Transam, none of this applies to any Thai woman I've ever met, except of course the last, which applies to almost every situation in life, and certainly all involving other people.

Generally speaking people don't change. And for those exceptional times that they do, it's either from major life-altering external events, or because they're highly motivated to do so for their own reasons.

No one ever causes someone else to change at any kind of fundamental level.

[Geekfreaklover]

the wife left this morning to discharge her brother from hospital who got seriously busted up in a motorbike accident...we paid about thb30000 to assist him and his family and I see it as part of our responsibility...

problem is that he has never said a word to me and never meets my eye when we are in the same room...and I remarked as much to my wife who just said that he is illiterate and mentally difficient and I responded: 'and why does an illiterate and mentally difficient individual presume that he can assume responsibility for suppporting a family? (he has 2 little boys)...'

she just shrugged her shoulders in irritation...

If there's one thing I've learned in Thailand: Beware The Brother.

[transam]

the wife left this morning to discharge her brother from hospital who got seriously busted up in a motorbike accident...we paid about thb30000 to assist him and his family and I see it as part of our responsibility...

problem is that he has never said a word to me and never meets my eye when we are in the same room...and I remarked as much to my wife who just said that he is illiterate and mentally difficient and I responded: 'and why does an illiterate and mentally difficient individual presume that he can assume responsibility for suppporting a family? (he has 2 little boys)...'

she just shrugged her shoulders in irritation...

If there's one thing I've learned in Thailand: Beware The Brother.

Ah, the brother, yes, met a few guys we ''thought'' were brothers, or cousins or family friends, but you know the rest.

[mjj]

I've got the solution!!

Fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. If she can see the funny side, stay with her, if she goes mental .................

Do it again!

[transam]

I've got the solution!!

Fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. If she can see the funny side, stay with her, if she goes mental .................

Do it again!

My mrs tried that, doesn't work, even after her two plates of her Pok Pok. Edited June 14, 2012 by transam

[maxme]

I've got the solution!!

Fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. If she can see the funny side, stay with her, if she goes mental .................

Do it again!

My mrs tried that, doesn't work, even after her two plates of her Pok Pok.