thenervoussurgeon Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I keep reading on these posts that husbands have to give the wife an allowance which they agree before they get married ,why ? i had a live in Thai girlfriend for many years and have been married for far longer ,but there was never any talk of having to give my wife a wage every month .i dont want to appear rude but if my wife wants something she just asks for it ,to me paying the wife money every month doesnt much sound like a love match more a buisness agreement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I mentioned this to my beloved this morning and now I wish I hadn't. Sheis asking for 500 Baht a month! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bpraim1 Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I told my wife if she quit her job, I would pay her income she used to make. 12hr days for 400-600 day is not what I call a good job. All our money is our money. Like normal married couples. But she feels like she is not a sponge. When she doesn't have to ask for some money or for me to buy something. Maybe a lot of guys are still paying the bar fine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post farang000999 Posted June 26, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 yes my wife never negotiated a wage she just buys anything she wants. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJCM Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I think it maybe it's because Thai Culture is different then the Western Culture. If you marry here, then you marry also her Family, and the allowance could be used for sending money to the family. But I could be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjj Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Same, same me op. The money is our money, if either wants something we say what we want and then talk about whether we can have it now or have to wait. We never say no, just work out when we can have it - although she is giving me a ridiculous time frame for me to buy the Ferrari. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUDAS Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 The money we earn is our money, though the wife actually generates more income than me. We don't really discuss money very often apart from any major purchases. Works fine for us. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 For me it's necessary to set their expectation realistically. I can't afford to take on the obligations a "normal" husband-wife relationship would imply, particularly wrt to emergencies among her relatives. And I have no interest in that kind of relationship anyway. My girls are poor uneducated farmgirls who think (along with their very large extended families) that every farang has a bottomless pile hidden away. And I have no interest in girls from more elevated circumstances. In other words my M.O. is dictated by my preferences, perfectly rational but certainly not appropriate for many who want things basically the same as they would be back home. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post payak Posted June 26, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 guys pay it because there bargirls say they will leave the bar if they do. they then pocket the wage and the bar money, and the money from the 6 other farang men they have on the side. extra will be needed when dad gets cancer and grandma needs a transplant, sick buffalo's and farming equipment also must be factored in. they will continue to spend all there waking hours at the bar, but only visiting old friends, and they were the only girl there who did waitressing for money and not sex any way. they may get pregnant whilst your away, get a strange illness that requires weekly injections at a cost of 10000 bht a month at the doctors, meanwhile the belly at 30weeks pregnancy is dead flat yet no one finds this strange, suddenly they are locked up for a terrible crime they did not commit, need 100000 bht bail, can strangely enough use there mobile to call you for the money at all hours, lose the baby thats never mentioned again after taking 100000 bht for the funeral you cant attend. then buy a house in there name with your money, 6million bht, leave you 6 days later, keep it all, and all this to a girl my friend never even had sex with, ha ha ha, hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, hhaaa haha. no wonder they laugh at westerners. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ohyesuare Posted June 26, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 In many countries where the husband is working or has money and the wife does not she is given a monthly allowance or access to a joint account. Would you want to ask someone every time you want to buy something? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edwinclapham Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) My wife gives me a B1000 a week, this is reduced if no receipts are readily available. Edited June 26, 2012 by edwinclapham 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I have had many friends over the years that turn their whole pay packet over to the missus and are given a little daily pocket money, all the rest is up to her. Some of them with Thai wives swear they're financially much better off that way. Others have been taken to the cleaners by their western tilacs. AFAIC to each their own, as long as they're willing to wear the consequences of their choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Sounds like a rental agreement till money runs out to me. Of course things are not always as black and white giving the wife some extra money is totally different from giving her a salary that goes to her family and such. Personally i don't give money and my wife contributes to the costs because she has a job. I never understood why a girl should not work if she could. Unless the guy is free all day or something like that. But if the guy works, different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRealDeal Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post thenervoussurgeon Posted June 26, 2012 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 guys pay it because there bargirls say they will leave the bar if they do. they then pocket the wage and the bar money, and the money from the 6 other farang men they have on the side. extra will be needed when dad gets cancer and grandma needs a transplant, sick buffalo's and farming equipment also must be factored in. they will continue to spend all there waking hours at the bar, but only visiting old friends, and they were the only girl there who did waitressing for money and not sex any way. they may get pregnant whilst your away, get a strange illness that requires weekly injections at a cost of 10000 bht a month at the doctors, meanwhile the belly at 30weeks pregnancy is dead flat yet no one finds this strange, suddenly they are locked up for a terrible crime they did not commit, need 100000 bht bail, can strangely enough use there mobile to call you for the money at all hours, lose the baby thats never mentioned again after taking 100000 bht for the funeral you cant attend. then buy a house in there name with your money, 6million bht, leave you 6 days later, keep it all, and all this to a girl my friend never even had sex with, ha ha ha, hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, hhaaa haha. no wonder they laugh at westerners. I was really talking about "married" couples who live together,not the idiots that send money over for some girl they slept with when they took her out of the bar for a week or so ,in that scenario a fool and his money are soon parted. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. I think having separate accounts and such is something quite normal. At least it is with the younger generation where i am from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenervoussurgeon Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. my wife has her own cards and knows all my pin numbers and has done for donkeys years . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattayaParent Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I told my wife if she quit her job, I would pay her income she used to make. 12hr days for 400-600 day is not what I call a good job. All our money is our money. Like normal married couples. But she feels like she is not a sponge. When she doesn't have to ask for some money or for me to buy something. Maybe a lot of guys are still paying the bar fine? Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRealDeal Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. I think having separate accounts and such is something quite normal. At least it is with the younger generation where i am from. I didn't say it wasn't normal ..... I said it comes from people not trusting the other one to not spend their money , and thats why people have seperate accounts so the other person can't spend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post theblether Posted June 26, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget. I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her. Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ). My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument. It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit. So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it?????? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. I think having separate accounts and such is something quite normal. At least it is with the younger generation where i am from. I didn't say it wasn't normal ..... I said it comes from people not trusting the other one to not spend their money , and thats why people have seperate accounts so the other person can't spend it. Only if you have a suspicious mind 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsiam Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 It allows the fantasy to continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post arthurwait Posted June 26, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 26, 2012 It comes from people who don't trust their wives , people who trust their wives allow them access to accounts , they have their own credit cards ect , people who don't give them money because they dont trust them with a credit card or acesss to the banks accounts. All the other answers from people doing it but disputing that are just from people denying reality. I think having separate accounts and such is something quite normal. At least it is with the younger generation where i am from. I didn't say it wasn't normal ..... I said it comes from people not trusting the other one to not spend their money , and thats why people have seperate accounts so the other person can't spend it. Only if you have a suspicious mind We can't go on together. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrry Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 My wife stopped working to spend time with me. I do give her an allowance for herself to budget. It is less than she would have previously earned. Out of this she pays most of the things she contributes to the extended family...mostly some extra education for her two nieces. The rest she banks to provide a buffer for when I die and she has to wait till probate goes through to access funds and to burn me. Most months the contribution to the kids is about 1000 baht. On a couple of occasion when she wants me to give them something extra I have suggested splitting it between the two of us. This gives her time to think whether she will do it. Sometimes the kids win sometimes they do not. Other money is spent as needed by both of us and accounted to each other. She has not yet even suggested I should not buy a new computer mouse or monitor or even the big new computer which she encouraged me to get as i SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON IT. i do not consider it is a wage just a division of the expenses of our family to make it more manageable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtampet Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 guys pay it because there bargirls say they will leave the bar if they do. they then pocket the wage and the bar money, and the money from the 6 other farang men they have on the side. extra will be needed when dad gets cancer and grandma needs a transplant, sick buffalo's and farming equipment also must be factored in. they will continue to spend all there waking hours at the bar, but only visiting old friends, and they were the only girl there who did waitressing for money and not sex any way. they may get pregnant whilst your away, get a strange illness that requires weekly injections at a cost of 10000 bht a month at the doctors, meanwhile the belly at 30weeks pregnancy is dead flat yet no one finds this strange, suddenly they are locked up for a terrible crime they did not commit, need 100000 bht bail, can strangely enough use there mobile to call you for the money at all hours, lose the baby thats never mentioned again after taking 100000 bht for the funeral you cant attend. then buy a house in there name with your money, 6million bht, leave you 6 days later, keep it all, and all this to a girl my friend never even had sex with, ha ha ha, hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, hhaaa haha. no wonder they laugh at westerners. This is about paying YOUR WIFE A WAGE,been hurt before mate,totaly screwed i say,or u know nothing of Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuckamuck Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 If I feel like leaving the village I ask my wife where my wallet is. Usually she pulls it out of her purse. We spend our money together and discuss larger costs, She pays all the bills because I hate paying bills. I buy whatever I want, and I try to encourage her to do the same. But she rarely buys anything for herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget. I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her. Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ). My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument. It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit. So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it?????? This puts you in the weakest possible position, you are, in effect, her slave. Working to provide her with money. This might be a radical idea, but why not expect a woman to earn and contribute an equal amount of money to the household. You might want to read up on Thai customs, they don't make the same marriage promises as Christians. My wife gets zero money from me, she is younger than me, she is allowed to work and earn in Thailand. Edited June 26, 2012 by TommoPhysicist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget. I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her. Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ). My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument. It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit. So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it?????? This puts you in the weakest possible position, you are, in effect, her slave. Working to provide her with money. This might be a radical idea, but why not expect a woman to earn and contribute an equal amount of money to the household. You might want to read up on Thai customs, they don't make the same promises as Christians. My wife gets zero money from me, she is younger than me, she is allowed to work and earn in Thailand. My lady earns......she has her own wage. In my current relationship what I give to my lady is a pittance. A real pittance. Please remember I'm Scottish Edited June 26, 2012 by theblether Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 My lady earns......she has her own wage. In my current example what I give to my lady is a pittance. A real pittance. Please remember I'm Scottish I very much doubt you are 'Scots', never heard a real one refer to themselves as 'Scottish'. Only s sassenach would use that word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 This might be a radical idea, but why not expect a woman to earn and contribute an equal amount of money to the household. For some people this would mean that she would have to go back to her old occupation. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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