What Is It With Paying Your Wife A Wage?

[thenervoussurgeon]

The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget.

I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her.

Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ).

My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument.

It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit.

So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it??????

She actually gets nothing ,but if she wants anything she can have it(within reason) but really i was actually asking more about the guys that come on here saying "how much should i give my wife a month?) as if they are entering into an agreement ie i will marry you only if you agree to so much sin sot and then x amount per month "wages" as apposed to giving the wife money for make up ect. perhaps i have not worded my post well enough

[theblether]

My lady earns......she has her own wage. In my current example what I give to my lady is a pittance. A real pittance. Please remember I'm Scottish

I very much doubt you are 'Scots', never heard a real one refer to themselves as 'Scottish'.

Only s sassenach would use that word.

Wait a minute, au contraire!!! I've never heard some one refer to themselves as Scots

Don't worry about it, there is a substantial TV contingent that will be along directly to adjudicate on this issue.

[smokie36]

My lady earns......she has her own wage. In my current example what I give to my lady is a pittance. A real pittance. Please remember I'm Scottish

I very much doubt you are 'Scots', never heard a real one refer to themselves as 'Scottish'.

Only s sassenach would use that word.

Well I am Scottish too. In fact there are five million of us happy to be referred to as being Scottish.

[smokie36]

Scots is a term usually used by American tourists Tommo.

Are you a Sherman then?

Edited June 26, 2012 by smokie36

[David48]

Well I'm not Scottish ... what particular useful traits am I missing out on?

[canuckamuck]

Why would anyone lie about being Scottish?

[harrry]

Well I'm not Scottish ... what particular useful traits am I missing out on?

NONE

[smokie36]

Well I'm not Scottish ... what particular useful traits am I missing out on?

Can you lend me a thousand Baht David? I left my wallet at home by mistake.

[harrry]

Why would anyone lie about being Scottish?

Well they may be Irish.

[saorsa]

My wife works full time in a decent job at the airport, but I make more in 1 day offshore than she makes in 1 month, so it is natural I pass her some money from my wage. I don't want my wife having to buy cheap shit clothes and not being able to go out for food etc. My parents in Scotland did exactly the same. My dad was offshore and mum worked part time when I was young, so dad paid money to her monthly.

[brit1984]

I agree with the OP. Giving your wife a set amount to spend per week or month seems a bit childish to me. We just pool our funds in joint accounts and spend as required.

However, I understand some people (male and female) are useless at managing their spending, in which case it might be sensible for their partner to control the budget.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[theblether]

The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget.

I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her.

Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ).

My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument.

It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit.

So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it??????

She actually gets nothing ,but if she wants anything she can have it(within reason) but really i was actually asking more about the guys that come on here saying "how much should i give my wife a month?) as if they are entering into an agreement ie i will marry you only if you agree to so much sin sot and then x amount per month "wages" as apposed to giving the wife money for make up ect. perhaps i have not worded my post well enough

Ehm.......you see that's the polar opposite of me, I get distressed at the idea that my lady has no money. I wouldn't allow it to happen.

If she has blown her monthly allowance then tough. I'm going to tell you a quick story and I'm not going to react to flames, take it or leave it.

My parents are the rags to riches story. Actually more my mother than my father, her Dad died young and my Gran brought up 5 kids on a pittance. My Dad's father always worked, and he had two part time jobs too, and he showed the value of hard work to my Dad. Unfortunately my Grandfather died prematurely too. That's not the point.

The point is that when we were being brought up my Dad was the works cat, he took every hour going under the Sun, and he bought his first house in 1973. People told him he was a mug, anybody out there recognizing this??? So he worked even harder, and put every penny into the house. I used to get amused when I heard my Dad ask my Mum for his pocket money so he could go out for a pint.

In later years I asked him what that was all about, and he said that his first duty was to make sure the family was secure and fed, then make sure his wife was provided for, then after that he would get a wee bit extra for a pint. He said some weeks he didn't get a pint, but that was fine.

In later years when the money started to flow he insisted on my Mum having her own bank account, why? because he strongly believes that his wife should have financial independence, and be able to make any purchase she wants without redress to him. Like other contributors here, if my Dad has a complaint about my Mum, it's the fact she won't spend money on herself, but he knows it's because of her upbringing, she can't abide waste, and she can't stand people being flash.

There are people who are members of this site that have met my father, he's a multi-millionaire and you wouldn't know it, and to this day he maintains it's a man's duty to ensure that his wife is provided for, and to ensure that she has access to her own money.

He has seen, and I have seen, men who have been extraordinarily controlling of their partners through money, denying them and treating them like chattels. I'm of the frame of mind that is a diabolical situation, and I accuse nobody here of it, however ask yourself, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

It just goes to show how we all have different attitudes to money.

[kerryk]

I have done it three different ways. 1. I paid the lady per day and then tried per week and then tried per month. 2. I paid the lady per task. We had a schedule up on the wall to set the amount for particular task COD. 3. I pay for rent and food and she pays for the rest to include getting the loan on our new house. In other words we have a new home and a 100% loan in her name but I make the payments. Since she is 30 years younger than I, she will outlive me and take advantage of the equity which is what I had in mind when I asked her to buy the home.

Number 3 makes the most sense to me but the most fun method was number 2.

Edited June 26, 2012 by kerryk

[BigJohnnyBKK]

She actually gets nothing ,but if she wants anything she can have it(within reason) but really i was actually asking more about the guys that come on here saying "how much should i give my wife a month?) as if they are entering into an agreement ie i will marry you only if you agree to so much sin sot and then x amount per month "wages" as apposed to giving the wife money for make up ect. perhaps i have not worded my post well enough

Please point to a recent thread where the OP was asking that.

Not that it isn't perfectly appropriate for those looking to rent a wife, which as you know is completely normal here, if not the actual majority.

My answer would be "at least 5K per month, or up to 20% of what you'd spend overall per month."

[Naam]

I mentioned this to my beloved this morning and now I wish I hadn't.

Sheis asking for 500 Baht a month!

500? what did she offer in return?

[MAJIC]

I agree with you its not a normal relationship,and more of a business arrangement.

And can be likened to buying a Motor vehicle on Hire Purchase,the big difference with this arrangement is:you never get to finish paying for this one!

[smokie36]

I mentioned this to my beloved this morning and now I wish I hadn't.

Sheis asking for 500 Baht a month!

500? what did she offer in return?

Probably a new shirt or two knowing her!

[smokie36]

Don't start me on the shoes though Naam...

[edwinclapham]

My wife and I have our salaries paid into a joint account here in Australia. We both work and we buy what we need.

Major items that have to be purchased we discuss beforehand.

I would hate for my wife to ask for things, marriage without trust isnt a marriage.

[kerryk]

My wife and I have our salaries paid into a joint account here in Australia. We both work and we buy what we need.

Major items that have to be purchased we discuss beforehand.

I would hate for my wife to ask for things, marriage without trust isnt a marriage.

How many months have you been married? No offense just wondering. Off hand I would guess 13.

[edwinclapham]

My wife and I have our salaries paid into a joint account here in Australia. We both work and we buy what we need.

Major items that have to be purchased we discuss beforehand.

I would hate for my wife to ask for things, marriage without trust isnt a marriage.

How many months have you been married? No offense just wondering. Off hand I would guess 13.

Totally wrong, We have been married some substantial time and have two children together!! I would also add, that I was bought up in Thailand, so I probably am more aware of the pitfalls more than many.

Edited June 26, 2012 by edwinclapham

[KunMatt]

Obviously there are a lot of different scenarios and relationship types here, and some tight farangs who sound like they don't support their baby mamas at all!!

I give my partner 15k or 20k every month paid into her bank. If I didn't and she worked I would never see her and our son would be left with his grandparents every day when I am at work, plus her salary would be no more than 6k a month. With that she pays all house bills, day to day groceries and so on, and has some savings left over if she needs it. Of course I still pay for all major purchases.

I guess we have gone back to a traditional style of relationship when it comes to money but I like it this way, and I know it is good for my son and he likes spending all of his time with with parents.

We also need a record of support when we apply for a UK visa every year, so there's several reasons why this setup is a good idea.

[Naam]

The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget.

I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her.

Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ).

My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument.

It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit.

So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it??????

This puts you in the weakest possible position, you are, in effect, her slave. Working to provide her with money.

This might be a radical idea, but why not expect a woman to earn and contribute an equal amount of money to the household.

You might want to read up on Thai customs, they don't make the same marriage promises as Christians.

My wife gets zero money from me, she is younger than me, she is allowed to work and earn in Thailand.

to each his own. my father-in-law did not allow his daughters to work even though it p*ssed them off. after marrying one of his daughters i never allowed my wife to work (in the sense of leaving the house, getting a job and earning a salary). surprisingly, from that time onwards she was not and is not p*ssed off because of not having a job.

on a more serious note... a wife has a fulltime job running a tight household ship. domestic employees might take over some menial work but add managerial work on her. that applies especially when the husband has a demanding job 12-14 hours a day and quite often 7 days a week and she is required to shield him from petty problems. that also applies in case the husband retires and wants to lead a quiet and comfortable retiree life in Thailand.

[mjj]

My wife and I have our salaries paid into a joint account here in Australia. We both work and we buy what we need.

Major items that have to be purchased we discuss beforehand.

I would hate for my wife to ask for things, marriage without trust isnt a marriage.

How many months have you been married? No offense just wondering. Off hand I would guess 13.

????

[kerryk]

My wife and I have our salaries paid into a joint account here in Australia. We both work and we buy what we need.

Major items that have to be purchased we discuss beforehand.

I would hate for my wife to ask for things, marriage without trust isnt a marriage.

How many months have you been married? No offense just wondering. Off hand I would guess 13.

Totally wrong, We have been married some substantial time and have two children together!! I would also add, that I was bought up in Thailand, so I probably am more aware of the pitfalls more than many.

Congratulations. Goes to show you my cynical attitude is not always correct.

[Naam]

Don't start me on the shoes though Naam...

what about handbags and belts?

[mjj]

The word wage is pejorative in this example, the word would be better served as an allowance, or my favourite word for it, a budget.

I'm not interested in being involved in my partners daily spend decisions on dresses, toiletries, perfume, makeup, magazines, I-phone apps, shoes, handbags, lunch with pals, blah blah blah. She's my lady and she is entitled to make decisions without redress to me, and I get particularly impressed when she saves money from the relative pittance I allocate to her.

Incidentally, I did the same for my first wife, I was working, she wasn't, she was bringing up my kids, we had a household budget, I took on responsibility for Christmas and Holiday budgets, and on top of that my ex-wife got her own budget for personal spending ( as did I ).

My ex-wife used most of it to buy even more useless toys and things for the kids, up to her. It's my wife, my partner, not my possession or slave, I need to make sure she is provided for without any argument.

It's part of the contract of marriage you know it's this bit " for richer or for poorer", it's not for " so I can control every penny you spend for the rest of your life", which is far far more common then men are prepared to admit.

So OP........answer me this question, how much money per month does your wife get without having to ask you for it??????

This puts you in the weakest possible position, you are, in effect, her slave. Working to provide her with money.

This might be a radical idea, but why not expect a woman to earn and contribute an equal amount of money to the household.

You might want to read up on Thai customs, they don't make the same marriage promises as Christians.

My wife gets zero money from me, she is younger than me, she is allowed to work and earn in Thailand.

to each his own. my father-in-law did not allow his daughters to work even though it p*ssed them off. after marrying one of his daughters i never allowed my wife to work (in the sense of leaving the house, getting a job and earning a salary). surprisingly, from that time onwards she was not and is not p*ssed off because of not having a job.

on a more serious note... a wife has a fulltime job running a tight household ship. domestic employees might take over some menial work but add managerial work on her. that applies especially when the husband has a demanding job 12-14 hours a day and quite often 7 days a week and she is required to shield him from petty problems. that also applies in case the husband retires and wants to lead a quiet and comfortable retiree life in Thailand.

Both you and the fil sound like dictators. I would never put that restriction on anyone.

[David48]

Don't start me on the shoes though Naam...

what about handbags and belts?

Smokies or his Missus ...

[smokie36]

Don't start me on the shoes though Naam...

what about handbags and belts?

Smokies or his Missus ...

Its all good gents. Except for scarves...I've never really liked those as an accessory....

Edited June 26, 2012 by smokie36

[TommoPhysicist]

Its all good gents. Except for scarves...I've never really liked those as an accessory....

Don't forget cushions and cuddly fabric animals ....... not to mention Hello Kitty!