Friendship In Thailand

[mauGR1]

In a recent thread, an interesting subject came afloat.. Is friendship in Thailand any different than in your country of origin ? Do you have any good Thai friends ? What differences between male-male friendship and female-female friendship or male-female friendship ?

Let's go back to a definition of " friend " as i read in my English Dictionary : " one well known to another and regarded with affection and loyalty ". That sounds nice.

Personally i find difficult to make new friends at 52, that said, i think i have 1 good Thai friend, and a Girl friend which i regard as my best friend.

Being a solitary guy, i prefer quality over quantity, but i can be quite friendly with strangers if i am in the right mood, anyway, we are all different, and i would like to hear your point of view.

Thanks for your replies and comments.

Cheers

Mau

[DtemJai]

The only friends is my 94 old father & my Thai wife clan – no problem over 30 years here.

[Burbridge]

To me, a friend is someone I laugh at when they fall over, help them up and laugh harder when they do it again. Friends in Thailand for me are hard to come by.

[mauGR1]

Thanks for replies...Only 2 so far...

Come on guys and girls..Let's share stories about friendship ( true or false ) in Thailand !

( Tales of friendship with dogs and cats are welcome too !!! )

[chrisinth]

"A friend is someone who won't tell where the dead bodies are buried".

Probably more truth in that statement than you would think! It comes down to your definition of a friend.

Personally, I would regard anyone that I know that I can confide in with confidence and know that they will have my back if ever needed, a friend. These are the people that can call me the idiot that I am, or have been, to my face without fear of retaliation and vice virsa. People that I enjoy being with because of who they are inside, not because of what they do or how much they are worth, who they are connected to (these are associates... ) and all the rest of society's requirements.

With my definition stated, yes, I have a few Thai and expat friends here in Thailand, probably as many as I have had at any other stage of my life in any other country that I have resided.

But, without doubt the best friend I have here (or anywhere else for that matter) is my wife. Sounds corny and repeated I know, but this lady has proved her discretion and loyalty on more occasions than it would be possible to name. Literally saved my life, but that is another story.

She makes me laugh as well which is a bonus.. .

If only she would stop beating me up and setting the dogs on me it could be utopia..............

So, with all the above said, unlike some members of this forum (in another thread ) experience has shown me that it is possible to make friends in Thailand (as in anywhere else in the world) without having known them since childhood.

[pattayadingo]

A friend.

One you can trust. One who helps because they want to help. One who is there through the good times and the bad. One who will tell you you are being an idiot. One who is there at the end of the phone. And more.

Yes, I have two really good Thai friends and one very good one. I have one really good English friend here too. And I have friends and acquaintances.

[daftpunker]

I think the notion you will have a good friend here is something thats hard to find.You make all your good friends when you grow up in your home of origin.Most of us come here when were older and it will be harder to make friends i think.

[chrisinth]

I think the notion you will have a good friend here is something thats hard to find.You make all your good friends when you grow up in your home of origin.Most of us come here when were older and it will be harder to make friends i think.

Why is the idea that you only make good friends when you grow up in your home of origin so prevalent in these threads? I can understand that attitude coming from people that have never travelled their entire lives, but I would strongly disagree with it. All the friends I grew up with are either doing time or dead, to the best of my knowledge.

Makes me a very sad, lonely person I suppose..........

[mauGR1]

I think the notion you will have a good friend here is something thats hard to find.You make all your good friends when you grow up in your home of origin.Most of us come here when were older and it will be harder to make friends i think.

Why is the idea that you only make good friends when you grow up in your home of origin so prevalent in these threads? I can understand that attitude coming from people that have never travelled their entire lives, but I would strongly disagree with it. All the friends I grew up with are either doing time or dead, to the best of my knowledge.

Makes me a very sad, lonely person I suppose..........

Well, although i like to believe that everything is possible, Mr. daftpunker has a point ; i think people tend to become a bit cynical as they grow old..And a lot more selective.. At least in my opinion.

That said, it would be nice to have the enthusiasm of a young boy with the experience of adulthood ...

..As, someone said : " Youth is wasted on young "

[arthurwait]

My best Thai friend has been so since we were housemates at university in England, for nearly 12 years now.

He lives in Nontaburi and I live in Chonburi though.

[SlyAnimal]

I've found that when I first came to Thailand it was very easy to make good Thai friends. As my Thai has improved, I don't need to ask people for help as often do meet less people, likewise I often hang out with my established Thai or Farang friends, rather than meeting new people. Well I meet new people but I don't have as much time to kinda "fit them in", so they remain more just casual friends or acquaintances rather than good friends.

However my good Thai friends here are really good, true friends. Likewise my good farang friends that I've met here, I feel very lucky indeed that I have met so many good friends here, even though we often need to each speak in our second languages.

Edit: in comparison to some earlier posts, I am however a bit younger so maybe it's easier to make new friends. Particularly as Thai people around my age are more likely to speak a bit of English

Edited July 14, 2012 by SlyAnimal

[Johnniey]

I have many good Thai friends, male and female. One is even the Godmother to my children.

It depends the circles you keep, hobbies, sports, work etc.

If someone works with Thais, is a member of a golf and Tennis club, goes to a gym, goes jogging in the park, collects coins or whatever here, of course they can meet many with similar interests and become friends. Some of mine have also come fron meeting them at kids' schools and activities.

The one factor that means many farang here can't make friends is their reluctance to learn the language.

[mauGR1]

I have many good Thai friends, male and female. One is even the Godmother to my children.

It depends the circles you keep, hobbies, sports, work etc.

If someone works with Thais, is a member of a golf and Tennis club, goes to a gym, goes jogging in the park, collects coins or whatever here, of course they can meet many with similar interests and become friends. Some of mine have also come fron meeting them at kids' schools and activities.

The one factor that means many farang here can't make friends is their reluctance to learn the language.

I agree, in fact we should show at least some good will to learn the language.. And the culture traits..

..Also i agree on the fact that the quality of friendship depends a lot on the quality of the interest you have in common.

I am never been good at playing instruments, but i guess if you can play music with somebody, it can be a high quality friendship.

[Johnniey]

I have many good Thai friends, male and female. One is even the Godmother to my children.

It depends the circles you keep, hobbies, sports, work etc.

If someone works with Thais, is a member of a golf and Tennis club, goes to a gym, goes jogging in the park, collects coins or whatever here, of course they can meet many with similar interests and become friends. Some of mine have also come fron meeting them at kids' schools and activities.

The one factor that means many farang here can't make friends is their reluctance to learn the language.

I agree, in fact we should show at least some good will to learn the language.. And the culture traits..

..Also i agree on the fact that the quality of friendship depends a lot on the quality of the interest you have in common.

I am never been good at playing instruments, but i guess if you can play music with somebody, it can be a high quality friendship.

Yes - think about if you were in your own country and there were Japanes for example at your golf club who didn't even try to learn English - would you want to be their playing partner let alone friend?

Would you like to play snooker with a Hindi-speaking Indian?

Go out for a pint with a Urdu -speaking Pakistani who could only say, "delicious, very, and big-belly"?

It's takes effort but is worth it - on my phone I have Somchai(Snooker), Thanakrit(golf), Amporn(tennis), etc.

Music is, as you say a very good way to make friends as is spiritual, religious things like going to church, temple, meditation, yoga etc.

[mauGR1]

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[mauGR1]

I think we should be able to make friends wherever we are, language is not a problem, the problem is the attitude.

If it's true that age brings wisdom, then we should go out and share our happiness..Otherwise life is a complete failure.

Everybody have had disappointments with friends, and with love too, but, God forgive us if we stop searching.

Edited July 14, 2012 by mauGR1

[hotandhumid]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

[transam]

Sadly through my life's experiences, l trust no one and will never ever trust anyone, l know it's a sad state of affairs but it is the truth, noooooooooooooooobody will convince me to change my out look.

[mauGR1]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

Well, i find that attitude pitiful to say the least...But it's your choice...Be happy in your ivory tower

[TommoPhysicist]

Afraid I've gone a bit native. Family has replaced friends. Not that I trust them either

I don't believe any foreigner who refers to other foreigners as 'farang' can have any foreigner friends.

As for those foreigners who believe they have Thai friends ........ if it makes them happy, why not.

Edited July 14, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Rsquared]

Sadly through my life's experiences, l trust no one and will never ever trust anyone, l know it's a sad state of affairs but it is the truth, noooooooooooooooobody will convince me to change my out look.

I understand where you are coming from Transam, but after reading many of your posts I do not wish to become your friend unless it is your wish, but I know I can be trusted........but I would gladly sit down and have a few beers with you, and who knows.....we might even have a few laughs along the way.

Enjoy Life.

Cheers.

edit: I would be your friend.....up to you.

Edited July 14, 2012 by Rsquared

[TommoPhysicist]

Sadly through my life's experiences, l trust no one and will never ever trust anyone, l know it's a sad state of affairs but it is the truth, noooooooooooooooobody will convince me to change my out look.

I understand where you are coming from Transam, but after reading many of your posts I do not wish to become your friend........but I would gladly sit down and have a few beers with you, and who knows.....we might even have a few laughs along the way.

Enjoy Life.

Cheers.

No, Transam is one of the very few here I could be friends with ........ as long as he doesn't start talking tyre pressure!

[EmptyBasementBin]

There's a list of traits that exclude people from me wanting to be friends with them.

Unfortunately the majority of Thais, and Thai males especially, top out in almost all of them.

[mauGR1]

Afraid I've gone a bit native. Family has replaced friends. Not that I trust them either

I don't believe any foreigner who refers to other foreigners as 'farang' can have any foreigner friends.

As for those foreigners who believe they have Thai friends ........ if it makes them happy, why not.

I don't trust anyone too ( except my mother of course ) but i keep an open mind as much as possible, and i would be a sad person, really, if i had to choose my friends on the basis of their nationalities..Otherwise i would had better staying in my little village.

[Rsquared]

In Australia, friend is more commonly used to describe somebody that you don't want to feed to the sharks.

"Mate" is someone closer than yourself........a true mate will be there no matter what.

I can count on one hand the number of "True Mates" I have.......and that has been acquired over many years.

I hope to find many Thai friends while I spend the rest of my days here, but I doubt that I will find a mate.......on second thoughts.......

........I do have a Thai mate......my wife.

[EmptyBasementBin]

^ I mentioned that in another thread. That I have about 8-10 real friends - the mates I grew up with from ages 8-20.

Some posters have real thai friends that they meet in a beer bar though.

Go figure.

[arthurwait]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I know what you mean. What could all the farangs who come here to drink in bars with bar girls possibly have in common with Thai men ?

[mauGR1]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I know what you mean. What could all the farangs who come here to drink in bars with bar girls possibly have in common with Thai men ?

Maybe the same brand of beer ?

[EmptyBasementBin]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I know what you mean. What could all the farangs who come here to drink in bars with bar girls possibly have in common with Thai men ?

Maybe the same brand of beer ?

Maybe the same bank notes in the wallets.

Friday evening farang's wallet. Saturday lunch time Thai man's wallet.

Perhaps the same STD even.

Edited July 14, 2012 by EmptyBasementBin

[arthurwait]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I know what you mean. What could all the farangs who come here to drink in bars with bar girls possibly have in common with Thai men ?

Maybe the same brand of beer ?

Maybe the same bank notes in the wallets.

Friday evening farang's wallet. Saturday lunch time Thai man's wallet.

Perhaps the same STD even.

Beaten to it. I was just about to reply crabs.