Friendship In Thailand

[hotandhumid]

I WANT SOME THAI FRIENDS!

[EmptyBasementBin]

ST or LT?

[Xirisdoll]

It seems to me that all of you are male ... no female responses so far?

I have been living in Bangkok for about 6 years by now, and I struggle making friends with Thais! I had a boyfriend for a few years, but he was almost the only person I got along with. Right now, I have acquaintances, but only few good Thai friends.

For a Western women, it is often difficult to get along with Thai girls. With most of them it is really hard to have a conversation about more serious issues that go beyond beauty, cuteness, clothes etc.

[Johnniey]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

Well, i find that attitude pitiful to say the least...But it's your choice...Be happy in your ivory tower

Very sad. Thais are not a different species. Being here for 12 years and not making any friends says an awful lot about you, and it's not good. Do you really think it's surprising you don't have friends with this attitude?

Do you think if you went to another country you could make friends or is it only Thais that are like this?

Edited July 14, 2012 by Johnniey

[MJP]

It seems to me that all of you are male ... no female responses so far?

I have been living in Bangkok for about 6 years by now, and I struggle making friends with Thais! I had a boyfriend for a few years, but he was almost the only person I got along with. Right now, I have acquaintances, but only few good Thai friends.

For a Western women, it is often difficult to get along with Thai girls. With most of them it is really hard to have a conversation about more serious issues that go beyond beauty, cuteness, clothes etc.

That's a shame. Perhaps it's just Bangkok. My sisters, even my ex-wife are nothing like that and you'd get on great. They have no interest in fancy materialism, only long term stability.

That said, one of them does have fake boobs.

[Trembly]

It seems to me that all of you are male ... no female responses so far?

I have been living in Bangkok for about 6 years by now, and I struggle making friends with Thais! I had a boyfriend for a few years, but he was almost the only person I got along with. Right now, I have acquaintances, but only few good Thai friends.

For a Western women, it is often difficult to get along with Thai girls. With most of them it is really hard to have a conversation about more serious issues that go beyond beauty, cuteness, clothes etc.

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

[richard_smith237]

My best friend is someone I met nearly 15 years ago.... He introduced my Wife and I, his Wife is best friends with my Wife.

I've often heard it mentioned that its difficult to meet people who don't want anything from you - This is not the case with my friend and not with most of the people I've since become friends with through my friend.

The friendship is that which would occur in any nation. Some people simply get along well. I believe that if we had met yesterday we'd become good friends.

If we were in the same Uni or School class we'd become good friends.

My best mate is Thai, he's who I turn to when my wife is driving me nuts and vice-versa - We confide in each other and argue politics and other issues until we are blue in the face. He doesn't need or want a Western friend and I never needed or wanted a Thai friend - instead I believe we both have the opinion that anyone could be a friend, but a trusting friendship takes years to build with anyone - its difficult to make good friends over night.

Edited July 14, 2012 by richard_smith237

[MJP]

My best friend is someone I met nearly 15 years ago.... He introduced to his Wife's best friend who I'm now married to.

I've often heard it said that its difficult to meet people who don't want anything from you - This is not the case with my friend.

The friendship is that which would occur in any nation. Some people simply get along well. I believe that if we had met yesterday we'd become good friends.

If we were in the same Uni or School class we'd become good friends.

My best mate is Thai, he's who I turn to when I wife is driving me nuts and vice-versa - We confide in each other and argue politics and other issues until we are blue in the face. He doesn't need or want a Western friend and I never needed or wanted a Thai friend - instead I believe we both have the opinion that anyone could be a friend, but a trusting friendship takes years to build with anyone - its difficult to make good friends over night.

Spot on. How many 'friends' does everyone have in their home countries. You can probably count your real friends on one hand and that's at the end of your life.

[mauGR1]

It seems to me that all of you are male ... no female responses so far?

I have been living in Bangkok for about 6 years by now, and I struggle making friends with Thais! I had a boyfriend for a few years, but he was almost the only person I got along with. Right now, I have acquaintances, but only few good Thai friends.

For a Western women, it is often difficult to get along with Thai girls. With most of them it is really hard to have a conversation about more serious issues that go beyond beauty, cuteness, clothes etc.

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Right, it depends also where you are living.

Here on Chang Island, lots of Thais work with the tourists, they speak English, or at least they try, so it's quite easy to go out and make friends. Lots of decent people like everywhere in the world.

Now, about some posters who will never befriend Thais, i suspect that their knowledge of Thailand is limited to the Bar scene; they probably had some bad experience, get paranoid, and think all the locals are there for their money.

In some other case it may be the case of 'superior race complex '... I would not even talk to those narrow minded individuals, time is precious

[chrisinth]

Sort of makes yu wonder about dating sites & social networks a bit. If, as the general opinion goes, that you can't make friends with Thais, there really must be a lot of truely false relationships out there.

Or is your wife not deemed to be a friend

Washing

Ironing

<deleted>

Etc

Just saying...............

[EmptyBasementBin]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

[EmptyBasementBin]

truly false relationships

Well 'false' is often a word used to describe Thai behaviour.

[SJN]

I believe that you can always find friends here in thailand but just need time to adjust or justify urself though u could get along with one. Same perception or similar attitude. Being as thai girl, i think its difficult to have western girl to be truly close friend due to the fact that we have different background. Nonetheless, its better to keep some privacy for ueself when it comes to the term of friendship because sometimes it happens that good friends can turn out to be real nasty one. I meant in general nth in particular.

[mauGR1]

I believe that you can always find friends here in thailand but just need time to adjust or justify urself though u could get along with one. Same perception or similar attitude. Being as thai girl, i think its difficult to have western girl to be truly close friend due to the fact that we have different background. Nonetheless, its better to keep some privacy for ueself when it comes to the term of friendship because sometimes it happens that good friends can turn out to be real nasty one. I meant in general nth in particular.

Thanks for the input, quite similar to my homecountry by the way, people is people everywhere.

[Johnniey]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

And do you think they never speak Thai to each other? AS Trembly said, with a Thai language disability, your selection is limited.

Even inplaces like the Polo Club, Ive met Thais who can't speak any English. I went lawn bowling with my father once and his partner and he couldn't talk.

And who would want to befriend a spoit Inernational School graduate?

Edited July 15, 2012 by Johnniey

[draggons]

Met my best mate 31 years ago while working in the North sea. he was my best man, first time I married. lost touch for a few years when he moved out east but managed to catch up again.

By pure coincidence we now live just 10 mins away from each other

[mrtoad]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I think the strange one is you. are you locked up in some castle in Nakhon Nowhere, communicating via Internet to the outside world.

If you have been here 12 years, I would have thought you have some Thai friends it's really not that difficult, and they aren't all out to get you.

[Trembly]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

They are a tiny fraction of the Thai population.

[Trembly]

Double post.

Edited July 15, 2012 by Trembly

[Trembly]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

And do you think they never speak Thai to each other? AS Trembly said, with a Thai language disability, your selection is limited.

Even inplaces like the Polo Club, Ive met Thais who can't speak any English. I went lawn bowling with my father once and his partner and he couldn't talk.

And who would want to befriend a spoit Inernational School graduate?

[transam]

Been here 12 years and never had or never will have a 'thai friend' what on earth would I have in common with them? The notion that you can have 'thai friends' is laughable and frankly a bit sad, as was the OP's opening post.

Some strange folk on these forums.

I think the strange one is you. are you locked up in some castle in Nakhon Nowhere, communicating via Internet to the outside world.

If you have been here 12 years, I would have thought you have some Thai friends it's really not that difficult, and they aren't all out to get you.

Think your right, BUT if this guy is a complete asshol_e then he will not have friends anywhere.

[EmptyBasementBin]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

They are a tiny fraction of the Thai population.

ACtually, they will generally socialize together, at places designed for them to do so.

There's certainly no massive emphasis on needing to speak Thai in order to socialize with them in Bangkok, if one wishes to do so.

At the other end of the spectrum look at the board members who were on about becoming 'good friends' with beer bar staff and prostitutes without being fluent in Thai.

Edited July 15, 2012 by EmptyBasementBin

[EmptyBasementBin]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

And do you think they never speak Thai to each other?

Errr, they're not likely to speak Thai to a non-Thai speaker mate.

And who would want to befriend a spoit Inernational School graduate?

From the looks of these threads there's many people desperate to befriend anything at all.

[Trembly]

The selection is rather narrow if you don't speak good Thai.

Incorrect.

There are numerous places and social circles where Thais who have either been educated overseas, in international schools, or EP's socialize.

They are a tiny fraction of the Thai population.

ACtually, they will generally socialize together, at places designed for them to do so.

There's certainly no massive emphasis on needing to speak Thai in order to socialize with them in Bangkok, if one wishes to do so.

At the other end of the spectrum look at the board members who were on about becoming 'good friends' with beer bar staff and prostitutes without being fluent in Thai.

They're still a tiny fraction of the population.

[EmptyBasementBin]

^ Makes no difference.

Simply go to where they socialize in numbers as often as possible and within one month you will have met more people than most who are not consciously trying to socialize meet in a year.

[mauGR1]

truly false relationships

Well 'false' is often a word used to describe Thai behaviour.

True in some case, but it's not like all ( forgive me for using this word ) Farangs are totally honest.

Speaking with Thais, it's also true we often look arrogant to them.

[saengsureeya]

In the West we do have different "grades" in inter-human relations:

- someone you know

- an acquaintance

- a friend

- a best-friend

- girl-friend/boy-friend

- fiancee

- husband/wife

In Thailand there are only 2 grades:

- puan (that's someone you vaguely know) up to

- fan (boyfriend/girlfriend or even husband/wife).

Probably there are more "grades" in Thai language, but those are the most used expressions.

That's the lingual difference.

Emotionally, a friend for me is someone I can trust, I regularly meet, I have good times with.

For a Thai, a friend is someone they met once. In a lot of cases, the name of the "friend" is unknown.

[cgphuket]

In my experience it is hard to make real friends with other foreigners in Thailand because they tend to fall in 3 categories:

1. Acclimated ex-pats- have wife or family, job and responsibilities, their life is complete with no time or energy for new people.

2. Bar stool warriors- they are happy to tell you everything wrong with Thailand and are experts on everything, even though they know no Thai people they have not paid for company and have mastered a total of 5 words in Thai and spend all day impressing everyone with their ability to say "aloy mak mak, suway mak mak, aloy nit noy, mak mak nit noy, aloy nit mak,,,," (these people would be friendless in their own country also).

3. Temps - Those here for 3-6 months either for holiday or work, who seem sincere in their enthusiasm, but mostly want peopl to do whatever for them then they go home and your efforts are never reciprocated

I am sure there are decent, smart, respectful foreigners living here who would be good friends, I just haven't met them..

As far as Thai people, I prefer female friends. Once they know you are not wealthy and you don't want to have sex with them, Thai women can be very good friends. In my experience I stay away from Thai men as they tend to have a superior (covering their inferior) attitude and love to play "make the farang look stupid" or "lets see what we can get from the farang". Again, you mileage may vary...

[transam]

In my experience it is hard to make real friends with other foreigners in Thailand because they tend to fall in 3 categories:

1. Acclimated ex-pats- have wife or family, job and responsibilities, their life is complete with no time or energy for new people.

2. Bar stool warriors- they are happy to tell you everything wrong with Thailand and are experts on everything, even though they know no Thai people they have not paid for company and have mastered a total of 5 words in Thai and spend all day impressing everyone with their ability to say "aloy mak mak, suway mak mak, aloy nit noy, mak mak nit noy, aloy nit mak,,,," (these people would be friendless in their own country also).

3. Temps - Those here for 3-6 months either for holiday or work, who seem sincere in their enthusiasm, but mostly want peopl to do whatever for them then they go home and your efforts are never reciprocated

I am sure there are decent, smart, respectful foreigners living here who would be good friends, I just haven't met them..

As far as Thai people, I prefer female friends. Once they know you are not wealthy and you don't want to have sex with them, Thai women can be very good friends. In my experience I stay away from Thai men as they tend to have a superior (covering their inferior) attitude and love to play "make the farang look stupid" or "lets see what we can get from the farang". Again, you mileage may vary...

No. 4 Me.

[mauGR1]

In my experience it is hard to make real friends with other foreigners in Thailand because they tend to fall in 3 categories:

1. Acclimated ex-pats- have wife or family, job and responsibilities, their life is complete with no time or energy for new people.

2. Bar stool warriors- they are happy to tell you everything wrong with Thailand and are experts on everything, even though they know no Thai people they have not paid for company and have mastered a total of 5 words in Thai and spend all day impressing everyone with their ability to say "aloy mak mak, suway mak mak, aloy nit noy, mak mak nit noy, aloy nit mak,,,," (these people would be friendless in their own country also).

3. Temps - Those here for 3-6 months either for holiday or work, who seem sincere in their enthusiasm, but mostly want peopl to do whatever for them then they go home and your efforts are never reciprocated

I am sure there are decent, smart, respectful foreigners living here who would be good friends, I just haven't met them..

As far as Thai people, I prefer female friends. Once they know you are not wealthy and you don't want to have sex with them, Thai women can be very good friends. In my experience I stay away from Thai men as they tend to have a superior (covering their inferior) attitude and love to play "make the farang look stupid" or "lets see what we can get from the farang". Again, you mileage may vary...

No. 4 Me.

Me No. 7