who said anything about too many girlfriends? there are plenty of other things they do too that qualify the statement that they are bad boyfriends. must be kind of fun to be a bar boy though hey? they do love their lives for the most part.

Edited February 4, 200620 yr by girlx

Good advice lao po

Last bit might be: don't be too pushy or agressive as you will most definitely scare her off.

Exactly. The thing you have to understand is that, while many unattached foreign women living in Thailand would be glad to have a Thai boyfriend of the right type, most have also had bad experiences that have made them wary of the wrong type of guy. We get harrassed a lot (by uneducated men usually, and/or drunks) -- grabbing, insults, jeers, etc. I once had my breast grabbed by a fellow on a bicycle while I walked down a Sukhumvit Soi in broad daylight...and I was conservatively dressed at the time. The problem is that among many of the uneducated Thai males there is a perception that the usual rules of conduct don't apply and/or that farang women are "loose". So we get these sort of experiences, and to make it worse, are often told it's our fault -- that we "give the wrong impression"by making eye contact, smiling, being too direct, whatever...And who knows, sometimes maybe we do fail to interpret signals correctly and unwittingly encourage unwanted advances when we thought the exchange was purely platonic.

The result is that many farang women are ultra-careful and wary in their initial dealings with Thai men. But that doesn't mean they aren't interested. They just need to feel comforatble with you first, sure that you respect them, and clear on your intentions. (Which, if they aren't serious --- say so!) Also important that they feel confident you correctly understand them. It's often best to start with just a friendship first.

Oh and also, if you succeed in getting to that stage, farand women worry about AIDs, especially from Thai men because of the reputation Thai men have for going to prostitutes, so be sure you have a condom with you.

Good luck!

who said anything about too many girlfriends? there are plenty of other things they do too that qualify the statement that they are bad boyfriends. must be kind of fun to be a bar boy though hey? they do love their lives for the most part.

"yes farang girls will throw themselves shamelessly at you if you work in a beach bar, especially if you develop some trick like fire twirling or tatooing. however you will quickly tire of the brainless chitchat, the nights of too much drinking, the juggling of girls and resulting catfights, and the STDs. i suggest visiting a coffeeshop in banglamphu and just smiling at a farang girl you like. ask her how she likes your country and if there is anything you can answer for her about thailand. show her you are smart and friendly rather than a whore after her money or free sex. good luck."

do you disagree with that seville? if so you have got to be naive... i mean how much time have you really spent with these bar boys anyway? i did not take issue with them for having too many girls, it's simply their lifestyle. their lifestyle often also includes: drinking, selling drugs, gambling, fighting, lying, stealing, etc. it does not lend to their being good boyfriends. and to be honest, only maybe 2 or 3 of them would i refer to as "good guys" either. up to you if you don't think so.

do you disagree with that seville? if so you have got to be naive... i mean how much time have you really spent with these bar boys anyway? i did not take issue with them for having too many girls, it's simply their lifestyle. their lifestyle often also includes: drinking, selling drugs, gambling, fighting, lying, stealing, etc. it does not lend to their being good boyfriends. and to be honest, only maybe 2 or 3 of them would i refer to as "good guys" either. up to you if you don't think so.

Never gave an opinion about anything, just an observation of what I know to be true of young men that work in tourist areas. And pointed out why I made the comment.

fair enough, but i do know what i am talking about, and you didn't really give any sort of contradictory argument that held up. trust me, i love barboys. i just wouldn't get involved with them seriously. by the way are you teaching yoga again for pee sin? i saw a sign for it the other day...

I am a thai guy live in Bangkok ,

I really curious how "farang lady" feel about thai guy.

I am the one who alway stareing at europe girls but never get a chance to talk to them.

the reason coz I am too shy and scare that they won't like me coz I am a Thai guy

please, suggest me where should I start coz, I am very serious

Hi Peter

I am a Thai man who used to like western girls. My advise is that you might have to travel to tourist places like islands or nothern provinces. Get to know some people while you're traveling. Then do some activities with them like trekking, partying and so on... If you find a nice western girl you like, find time to talk to her. Just normal conversation. If you feel that she is friendly with you. You can ask her for so called date for the next day. If she "yes", it is likely that she is quite comfortable with you. Next things I believe you know what to do, right? Just show her your respect.

Well, I'm with girlx on this one too, I strongly advise girls against getting involved with the barboys on Hadrin. That said, not every guy working in a bar on an island is a "barboy".

Let me tell you how I met my husband, when I came there were only 4-5 songthaews that ran from Thong Sala to Ban Kai (no Hadrin road). My husband drove one of these. I didn't realize that owning a truck made him a good catch, having seen Bangkok I thought car ownership was common. Anyway, he drove the taxi/songthaew for his cousin's bungalow resort. I thought he was cute but was not interested in getting involved because I didn't speak the language, didn't understand the culture. I knew he could feed me any story and I wouldn't know if it were true or not.

However, his cousin had an Australian wife who had known my husband for 3-4 years and vouched for his character. She told me that he was one of the good ones and I could trust him. Well, she was right. But, if she hadn't gotten involved I wouldn't have stayed.

It seems to me it is hard enough learning to trust/commit to someone from your own culture much less someone from a culture so completely different from our own. And as I said before, unless you speak the language and understand the culture alot of these guys can and will feed you any story at all.

So, most girls are understandably wary.

i heard somebody here say , farang girls like to go to "witches tavern" Thong lhor

worth to try ?

I agree there with you. The "witches tavern" has each wednesday ladies night and all the woman drink for free untill midnight. Its packed with both Foreign and Thai female singles.

That said, not every guy working in a bar on an island is a "barboy".

I agree sbk. My husband was a 'barboy' on Samet. When I met him I'd been working as a teacher in BKK for a year so understood something of the culture and spoke reasonable (ish) Thai. His dad had been a tour guide in the eighties and his brother who owned the bar was married to a European so English was used within the family a lot.

I took a lot of flak from people (especially other teachers I worked with both male and female) about the nature of our relationship but I just 'knew' he was one of the good ones.

We live in the UK now, our youngest child has a severe disability and believe me I've seen enough marriages break down when there is a disabled child in the family without the added pressure of coming from opposite ends of the planet. He would never let me or the kids down

So there you go it can work out but I agree you need to have your head screwed on when getting into these relationships

yeah you're right... surely there are some who are not shameless playboys, gamblers, drunks. chances are they are, but there you go... guess it could be the same in any walk of life.

Edited February 11, 200620 yr by girlx

Hi Girlx

Been away for awhile and only tend to be on TV when in the States. To answer your question, Nicky is the women who is teaching at Sin & Oy's. Her classes are very good. She has mats and everything and

was charging 100 b. a class, which is half the price of all most anywhere on the island. She started teaching at Honey . She and her husband Paul have been spending the winter on TNP for over 10 years and are both lovely people.