Why Does Thai Woman Like To Shy Away From Small Minor Problems ? Instead Of Solving It ?

[Holysteel]

Dun they realised a problem at hand has to be solved in any means, sooner or later ? No matter how you are trying to avoid the issues. It still have to be solved 1 fine day.

Its seems to me. They will totally shut down. Refusing to address the problem or at least lend a helping hand on problem solving it.

This happened quite often in relationships, whereby the poor farang kept explaining & talking in mild tone what went wrong. And the woman will just shut down, totally refusing to listen or be a part of it.

1 thing i know, is they will NEVER express a hint of an apology even when they are dead wrong. They just totally shut down, maintaining an emotionless face & stare. Practising detachment.

This is really frustrating.

When the time come. They just want to break off. Which is their way of solving things.

It is just like a bicycle. When there is in need of just repairing the minor parts, the bike will be perfect to go. And it is a bike that you are familiar with. But the Thai girls...Insteading of just repairing the 1 part. They tend to throw away the whole bike. And get a new one.

In term of relationship speaking. Instead of solving the 1 issue with her guy. They go for breaking off the guy & start looking for a totally 'brand' new guy.

Thats their way of solving problems.

Edited August 23, 2012 by bonobo
changed derogatory phrase for women into something acceptable

[KeyserSoze01]

Welcome to Thailand. You are learning.

No sense in getting worked up about it as that's the way it is with many Thai ladies. It's all about their inability to take responsibility for anything they do.

Now before the "my girl is different" crowd chimes in, my opinion does not extend to all Thai ladies, but a number do demonstrate this trait.

[Holysteel]

If there is any technique or tips on countering back against such emotionless person. Post it here. I am dam_n happy to listen it 100%

Or there is not a chance in the world to counter such people ?

[DrTuner]

There is a technique and it's universal. Instead of focusing on the process of problem solving, focus on getting the motivation going. The old carrot&stick will do just fine. Enjoy the ride.

[Holysteel]

Motivation ? . Sound interesting. Care to elaborate more ? Although i doubt it going to work

[DrTuner]

Motivation ? . Sound interesting. Care to elaborate more ? Although i doubt it going to work

Basically, you need to paint the road and then let others travel it.

Let's take that bike for example. Instead of applying pressure, air out descriptions of pleasant weekend rides. If the bike doesn't get fixed, buy yourself a new one and ride it to the nearest beer bar, when faced with the fury simply state you'd preferred to go together, but as her bike was broken and not fixed, you decided she didn't want to go with you.

If indifference continues, change partner until you get one who gets the drift. Not really complicated.

[notmyself]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

[Holysteel]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

Well it might be advantage for guys who like to fool around..changing a new gal each time as he go, he just have to purposely piss if the gal. It is an BIG disadvantage for me who cherish one girl one serious long term relationship.

I need some more advice to counter such emotionless silent behavior.

Maybe put a colt python against her forehead to encourage speaking out, expressing herself ?

[roamer]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

Well it might be advantage for guys who like to fool around..changing a new gal each time as he go, he just have to purposely piss if the gal. It is an BIG disadvantage for me who cherish one girl one serious long term relationship.

I need some more advice to counter such emotionless silent behavior.

Maybe put a colt python against her forehead to encourage speaking out, expressing herself ?

Hold on, you want to put a gun against her head to encourage her to speak ? Hmm, even as a joke...

" And the bitchz will just shut down, totally refusing to listen or be a part of it."

Why am I getting the feeling, err Holysteel is it ?, That there may be another side to this ?

[notmyself]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

Well it might be advantage for guys who like to fool around..changing a new gal each time as he go, he just have to purposely piss if the gal. It is an BIG disadvantage for me who cherish one girl one serious long term relationship.

I need some more advice to counter such emotionless silent behavior.

Maybe put a colt python against her forehead to encourage speaking out, expressing herself ?

Forward thinking, planning for tomorrow is not a cultural trait while saving face is. If you can be effective in a job (a cut above the rest) for example and don't care if your boss gets the fame and glory (incresing THEIR face) then you will do will in Thailand. Don't rock the boat, roll with it.

[KeyserSoze01]

Others have eluded to it, but here it is. Thais in general do not handle criticism of any kind very well. It goes to their concept of "face". So if your girlfriend interprets your "advice" as being critical or badgering or confrontational, then she shuts down. You have to provide her an incentive to do the things that she needs to do, without appearing dominant.

[mca]

I would offer that anyone who refers to Thai women as "bitchz" ( sic) is the one with the problem unless Snoop Dogg is our newest member.

[notmyself]

Others have eluded to it, but here it is. Thais in general do not handle criticism of any kind very well. It goes to their concept of "face". So if your girlfriend interprets your "advice" as being critical or badgering or confrontational, then she shuts down. You have to provide her an incentive to do the things that she needs to do, without appearing dominant.

Very well put and includes an example FOC.

Farang: I agree with what you said the other night babe.

Missus: About what?

Farang: About 'x' (knowing full well they have never spoken about it)

Missus: I don't remember

Farang: We were busy but I agree, we should do 'x'

Missus: OK. Up to you. As she wonderes off to adjust her makup when in fact she's off for a dump having drunk a Fitna after Som Tam for breakfast.

.... Life goes on.

I should say that I couldn't live like that though.

[JurgenG]

This thread is so pathetic. It's clear that people who post here never understood anything about women. Thailand was their last chance, and they failed

20 years ago or so, I was offered a book by my then girlfriend who hoped to make me aware about women's feelings. It was "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". The only thing I remember from this book is men like to solve problems, women just want to talk about them. You wife is not interested about technical details why there is a leak in the kitchen, she just want you to hear how it ruined her day. So you listen, then you grab your toolbox and you fix the leak. Everybody's happy.

And if by retirement age you still haven't understood that, I guess the only option left is to grab your wallet and head to the gogo.

Edited August 22, 2012 by JurgenG

[Chittychangchang]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

+1

[JurgenG]

How can people keep posting here with a straight face ?

- Refuse to acknowledge any responsibility for any of their trouble

- Refuse to do anything to adapt to the situation

- Keep whining about it

Man, it's the typical attitude of the sexpat posting in Thaivisa !

[notmyself]

How can people keep posting here with a straight face ?

Shouldn't you be fixing the gate/leak in kitchen?

[JurgenG]

How can people keep posting here with a straight face ?

Shouldn't you be fixing the gate/leak in kitchen?

Done already last week. Went to the hardware store, bought 2 m of blue pipe, plus the fittings, straight, corners, T and glue. Cut from both end and redo everything. No more leak and it looks better than the original job

Edited August 23, 2012 by JurgenG

[tinfoilhat]

I would offer that anyone who refers to Thai women as "bitchz" ( sic) is the one with the problem unless Snoop Dogg is our newest member.

i suspect a gravion reincarnation is more likely than snoop dogg

[notmyself]

How can people keep posting here with a straight face ?

Shouldn't you be fixing the gate/leak in kitchen?

Done already last week. Went to the hardware store, bought 2 m of blue pipe, plus the fittings, straight, corners, T and glue. Cut from both end and redo everything. No more leak and it looks better than the original job

And the missus couldn't do that bacause...?

[barefoot1988]

why do you think its only the thai woman who does that?

20 replies and i shall start the ball rolling first

its a Buddhist thing

[JurgenG]

How can people keep posting here with a straight face ?

Shouldn't you be fixing the gate/leak in kitchen?

Done already last week. Went to the hardware store, bought 2 m of blue pipe, plus the fittings, straight, corners, T and glue. Cut from both end and redo everything. No more leak and it looks better than the original job

And the missus couldn't do that bacause...?

Wife cook, husband fix stuff. Everytime we tried to exchange role it ended up in total disaster.

My speciality is over cooked spaghetti with ketchup sauce. Even the dogs fast the days I cook.

[Holysteel]

Nothing to do with women, after a while you realize this a cultural trait which you can use to your advantage.

Well it might be advantage for guys who like to fool around..changing a new gal each time as he go, he just have to purposely piss if the gal. It is an BIG disadvantage for me who cherish one girl one serious long term relationship.

I need some more advice to counter such emotionless silent behavior.

Maybe put a colt python against her forehead to encourage speaking out, expressing herself ?

Hold on, you want to put a gun against her head to encourage her to speak ? Hmm, even as a joke...

" And the bitchz will just shut down, totally refusing to listen or be a part of it."

Why am I getting the feeling, err Holysteel is it ?, That there may be another side to this ?

Yeah, i meant it as a joke. Although a bad one honestly. My bad.. Lol..

[Holysteel]

Well.. Say it all you want for those who think the Thai ladies are on the right wavelenght. I just dun think our cultural & mentality goes together.

I have seen western couples, japanese, koreans, and the Chinese do sit down and talk it out, solving their problems in an amicable setting.

For the Thais. NO. Usually one party will walk away. Pretending nothing has happened and sleep on it. Tomorrow is another brand new day. Until the same issue erupted and they do the whole runner thingy again. Rise & repeat.

[notmyself]

Wife cook, husband fix stuff. Everytime we tried to exchange role it ended up in total disaster.

You do know that both sexes are exactly the same other than average physical size?

[chrisinth]

From personal experience, it is all about how you approach the problem. In the OP you state:

"This happened quite often in relationships, whereby the poor farang kept explaining & talking in mild tone what went wrong. And the bitchz will just shut down, totally refusing to listen or be a part of it".

Is it explaining or dictating? Is it (unintentionally perhaps) a one sided point of view that you are putting across? Have you asked what she thinks? In other words, have you discussed it or are you adamant that you are correct in what you think because you ar a 'falang'? If you haven't discussed it then rightly so, she will be p1ssed off and shutdown.

The above is not to discredit you, it is just something to think about. Interaction is the key word. If you find this doesn't exist, then she likely isn't the right girl for you anyway.

The above is not Thai specific either................

[JurgenG]

Wife cook, husband fix stuff. Everytime we tried to exchange role it ended up in total disaster.

You do know that both sexes are exactly the same other than average physical size?

You were obviously sleeping during your anatomy courses, weren't you ?

[brit1984]

Wife cook, husband fix stuff. Everytime we tried to exchange role it ended up in total disaster.

You do know that both sexes are exactly the same other than average physical size?

Did you lose your virginity to a ladyboy and live happily ever after?

If so, there is another thread where your knowledge may be valuable.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[notmyself]

Wife cook, husband fix stuff. Everytime we tried to exchange role it ended up in total disaster.

You do know that both sexes are exactly the same other than average physical size?

You were obviously sleeping during your anatomy courses, weren't you ?

Yep. Physiology and psychology I didn't miss. Done chemistry rather than alchemy too. Strange world.

[Rsquared]

OK Holysteel, could you give us an example of when your GF/wife had one of these shutdown periods and what caused it?

As Chrisinth says, you need to be able to discuss it, and sometimes you can manipulate the discussion so that the other person feels as though the solution was their idea.

I know it requires more effort on your part.

.......but.....Happy wife....Happy Life.

Cheers.