crazykopite Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 She has a point. You can't rent anywhere in Thailand for $1000 a month especially in Esarn. $4000 per month just for rent I'm afraid and that's just for a shack. What are you renting a palace there are loads of places for $1,000 per month !!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazykopite Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I would tell her that you have lost everything on the stock market and that she and her family will have to help you out !!!!!! Bet she will be gone within the week !!!!! Like most Thai woman she saw ATM on your forehead !!!!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawker9000 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 How able is she to sue you for divorce in the US, and what are the laws concerning the division of property in your state? If you think this unlikely either because she just wouldn't be up to it or you have no assets back in the US, then maybe do the runner, if YOU'RE up to it. (Careful though - if she finds you, and it's somewhere in Thailand, and she has the right kind of "friends", your very survival might well be at risk... That's a whole different topic.) If she IS up to the divorce American style, you might well have no choice but to bite the bullet and give her whatever portion of your remaining assets the laws in your state dictate. Delaying the inevitable isn't going to make things any better. Some of these other games I've seen suggested here don't sound like very good ideas actually, ESP that one about taking out a bunch of loans and trying to leave her with 'em - NO NO NO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 This post is either a troll or his first trip to Thailand he fell in love with a bar girl . . .I've added my own below if you care to read on . . . 1. Where did u get to know her??? And where is her family now ? I hope its not a bar/ pub/ whatever. 2. What are you thinking of when you gave her the sin sot? Sin sot is normally returned to the newly weds. Money + gold - wedding expense Sin sod paid by here first husband was probably under 50,000. She has been married before so Thai's would not pay sin sod for her the second time around. And now days over 50% don't even ask or want it. it is an old way of the past. And are you really married ? Married at the government ? 3. Why give her 1k usd monthly? Too much money make the Thai woman think too much. Unless it is a huge estate in the city, the house payment would be way less. My 3 bedroom 2 bath home in Chiang Mai to western standards is less than $300 a month. And few Thai's make $1000 a month 4. Why did you allow her contact her ex? She is your wife ain't she? I know a few ladies here in Thailand who have Expat husbands who come and visit and Thai husbands who go away the few weeks a year they are here. Maybe the case here . . . Now. I guess u should prepare to ditch her. 30k tb is more than enough, anything more than that is ridiculous. a over demanding wife is scary. Where r you guys registered? How much shared assets do u have? How much assets do u have under your name? Are you prepared if she is going to go on a legal case with you? Take note that there are a few cases of farang husbands murdered by their wives / lovers. Do take care. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Been in Thailand for over 10 years now. Did you actually read the posts? The OP didn't mentioned that his wife was married the 2nd time when I posted. Sin sot for a educated girl in Bangkok (as the OP posted) is approx. 100k - 500k. Anyway most of the marriage I attended in the past few years, Thai or farang mates, its normal to have 200k and 10 baht gold. A small House (not a "townhouse") in Bangkok will cost you 2.5 m or more. If it is on installments, ( w/o down payment) is approx 17k / 550 usd monthly. The going rate of a gf/ wife (expense) here is approx. 20k , excluding rental/ installments. I have lots of expats mates here in Bangkok and farangland. We are known to the Thais as "pua kee heng", I don't know anybody in the right mind who will allow their wives to frequently contact with their ex. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 How able is she to sue you for divorce in the US, and what are the laws concerning the division of property in your state? If you think this unlikely either because she just wouldn't be up to it or you have no assets back in the US, then maybe do the runner, if YOU'RE up to it. (Careful though - if she finds you, and it's somewhere in Thailand, and she has the right kind of "friends", your very survival might well be at risk... That's a whole different topic.) If she IS up to the divorce American style, you might well have no choice but to bite the bullet and give her whatever portion of your remaining assets the laws in your state dictate. Delaying the inevitable isn't going to make things any better. Some of these other games I've seen suggested here don't sound like very good ideas actually, ESP that one about taking out a bunch of loans and trying to leave her with 'em - NO NO NO! Was thinking the same thing. If the wifey is an American citizen and has even minimal understanding of US divorce laws and such, this dude is toast. Especially if he's as well-heeled as he's purporting to be, a good divorce lawyer will find his assets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I have lots of expats mates here in Bangkok and farangland. We are known to the Thais as "pua kee heng", I don't know anybody in the right mind who will allow their wives to frequently contact with their ex. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Being know to the Thais as, pua kee heng, probably says more about their behaviour, or is the expression wrong? I know many whose behaviour justifies the use of this term, whether Thai or farang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tchooptip Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 She has a point. You can't rent anywhere in Thailand for $1000 a month especially in Esarn. $4000 per month just for rent I'm afraid and that's just for a shack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoDogz Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 She has a point. You can't rent anywhere in Thailand for $1000 a month especially in Esarn. $4000 per month just for rent I'm afraid and that's just for a shack. What are you renting a palace there are loads of places for $1,000 per month !!!!!!!!!!! But a $1000 only gets you the equivalent of the maids quarters now I am afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffreyMcCollum Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 This post is either a troll or his first trip to Thailand he fell in love with a bar girl . . .I've added my own below if you care to read on . . . Do take care. Been in Thailand for over 10 years now. Did you actually read the posts? The OP didn't mentioned that his wife was married the 2nd time when I posted. Sin sot for a educated girl in Bangkok (as the OP posted) is approx. 100k - 500k. Anyway most of the marriage I attended in the past few years, Thai or farang mates, its normal to have 200k and 10 baht gold. A small House (not a "townhouse") in Bangkok will cost you 2.5 m or more. If it is on installments, ( w/o down payment) is approx 17k / 550 usd monthly. The going rate of a gf/ wife (expense) here is approx. 20k , excluding rental/ installments. I have lots of expats mates here in Bangkok and farangland. We are known to the Thais as "pua kee heng", I don't know anybody in the right mind who will allow their wives to frequently contact with their ex. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Right from the start the OP says the wife is talking with her EX most would assume that means husband but maybe your right, It could have ment plumber, milk man or Post driver. Sin Sod is a thing from the past, A tradition used in mainly farming areas and mostly left behind by "Educated women" Sorry you got stuck paying it, but clealy that is your choice, and the amount should be told by the Man not the lady in traditional marriges Many very nice homes by Thai standards can be had in the Bangkok area for under 2.5m Where the OP never did say what area the home or she was from (unless I missed that) Most Thai, with an average income can not afford that kind of payment or that kind of home. The OP said 30,000 Bt for the home payment. And that is excessive unless it is a Luxury home. Very few banks will loan with out a down payment. Even the government programs. And assuming the house is in Bangkok and not 99% of the rest of Thailand, Banks wont loan to and Expat for a home but will for a condo and require 25 - 30 $%down and a short loan period of 4 to 5 years. The going rate for a wife / GF is 20,000. Bt. ? More than most Thais even dream of making ? not including rent ? I think maybe it's time you get out, get some more Thai friends, and learn a few things about Thailand Now I am in Chaing Mai, Not Bangkok as yourself, home paid, 1 daughter with school expenses. New car, new truck, 2 motorbikes (1 big as they say) cable, internet, and My family expenses are about the same as you say is normal pocket change for your wife/ Girl friend. I wonder back where readers and posters came from if they give their wives or girl friends a monthly allowance more than the average person makes back home ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I removed one post that made some pretty nasty speculations about a member's spouse. Be warned, we deal with that very harshly around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post David48 Posted August 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2012 First hint of getting a girl and she wanting me to pay a monthly fee would be the end of the relationship. It boggles the mind how people can do it. Sin Sod, you are suppose to get it back anyway. If the family ever altered it to them keeping the money, the sin sod would change to ZERO baht. You would not know until after you have given it right ? And as for a monthly stipend, what if she is not working or does not have her own business or is not a thai chinese descendant ? "And as for a monthly stipend, what if she is not working or does not have her own business or is not a thai chinese descendant ?' Then I would not consider her as worthy of dating never mind marriage, solution, move on to the next one until you meet one of the above. Well, I have to disagree with both WebBangkok and rgs2001uk on this matter. Everyone’s personal circumstances are different ... so mileage does vary. For me, today, I sent my first stipend to the gf's Family. Why ... ? Because for the first few years of our relationship no money has exchanged hands ... nor requested from either party. She is main bread winner in the Family as the Farms cash flow does vary. After 12 years in the same job, she chucked it in to come live with me in my home country for the time we have together under her Visa conditions. The amount ... Well, it's approximately 1/2 what she gave to the family, and I have made it know that I expect the others in the Family unit, who are working to 'step up to the plate' and contribute more. Should she return to employment, our responsibility to the Thai Family returns to her, subject to an amount agreed to by both of us. When I first dated a Thai Lassie, I knew full well that that their concept of 'Family' far exceeded what we consider it to be in the West. But it's a double edged sword and I know that I have a family of built-in baby sitters and family carers if, and when needed. As for the OP, if the situation is as you have described, only you know what is acceptable for your personal circumstances ... but there is a chasm between our contributions ... you have much more mileage on the clock then I do! . 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 in the whole of my relationship with my Now wife, she has never asked for One baht. maybe you should do some soul searching, remember Money number one, would you do this for a western lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NBD Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Sell what you can. You will probably literally have to snatch it when she's asleep, disappear without warning and get away. What you can't move/sell then you chalk up to experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 in the whole of my relationship with my Now wife, she has never asked for One baht. maybe you should do some soul searching, remember Money number one, would you do this for a western lady. Presumably if you were married to a western lady who didn't have a job you'd give her some money to live on? You wouldn't let her starve to death? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudolus Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 You married her. In your culture, it is 50:50, what's yours is hers, and what's hers is your. Why should you act differently just because she is Thai? That's not very fair really. What ever your income is each month, she should have access to it. Same as if she were American. Surely she is aware of your, as a couple's, finances? Just be fair to her and remember you should not be cheap charlie with her or even consider that as an option because in doing so, the money you are trying to stop her having, half of it is actually hers. By law. So lighten up, stop being her auditor, look deep inside and question if you were like this on your first marriage. Poor lady; feel quite sorry for her now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theoutsider Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) Let me tell you the story of the 3 sisters . . . Yes in Issan First daughter married a Thai. No ring, small party, and 10,000 ($350 USD) Sin sod Still married Eldest daughter was a teacher, had a son by prior marraige, Found a Expat to marry her, He paid about $10,000 USD sin sod and is expected to pay the family 5000 Bt a month ($ 165 USD) to help out Family thinks he the Dope of the family Middle daughter who was married prior to a thai (young virgin she was) who paid 20,000 Bt. Sin Sod first time around now with daughter to take care of, married an Expat at the government office. Sin sod paid ZERO, Monthy help paid ZERO Wedding party paid ZERO This husband quickly set thing straight, He helps the family as and when he see fit to do so and the need is there. Not sure what the moral of the story is, but your story is way out of control ! What son in-law do you want to be ? the one they think is a DOPE or the one they respect Just goes to show that it not just westerners that are suckers, what's sin sod. I didn't have to pay it. Edited August 27, 2012 by Theoutsider Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 This post is either a troll or his first trip to Thailand he fell in love with a bar girl . . .I've added my own below if you care to read on . . . Do take care. Been in Thailand for over 10 years now. Did you actually read the posts? The OP didn't mentioned that his wife was married the 2nd time when I posted. Sin sot for a educated girl in Bangkok (as the OP posted) is approx. 100k - 500k. Anyway most of the marriage I attended in the past few years, Thai or farang mates, its normal to have 200k and 10 baht gold. A small House (not a "townhouse") in Bangkok will cost you 2.5 m or more. If it is on installments, ( w/o down payment) is approx 17k / 550 usd monthly. The going rate of a gf/ wife (expense) here is approx. 20k , excluding rental/ installments. I have lots of expats mates here in Bangkok and farangland. We are known to the Thais as "pua kee heng", I don't know anybody in the right mind who will allow their wives to frequently contact with their ex. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Right from the start the OP says the wife is talking with her EX most would assume that means husband but maybe your right, It could have ment plumber, milk man or Post driver. Sin Sod is a thing from the past, A tradition used in mainly farming areas and mostly left behind by "Educated women" Sorry you got stuck paying it, but clealy that is your choice, and the amount should be told by the Man not the lady in traditional marriges Many very nice homes by Thai standards can be had in the Bangkok area for under 2.5m Where the OP never did say what area the home or she was from (unless I missed that) Most Thai, with an average income can not afford that kind of payment or that kind of home. The OP said 30,000 Bt for the home payment. And that is excessive unless it is a Luxury home. Very few banks will loan with out a down payment. Even the government programs. And assuming the house is in Bangkok and not 99% of the rest of Thailand, Banks wont loan to and Expat for a home but will for a condo and require 25 - 30 $%down and a short loan period of 4 to 5 years. The going rate for a wife / GF is 20,000. Bt. ? More than most Thais even dream of making ? not including rent ? I think maybe it's time you get out, get some more Thai friends, and learn a few things about Thailand Now I am in Chaing Mai, Not Bangkok as yourself, home paid, 1 daughter with school expenses. New car, new truck, 2 motorbikes (1 big as they say) cable, internet, and My family expenses are about the same as you say is normal pocket change for your wife/ Girl friend. I wonder back where readers and posters came from if they give their wives or girl friends a monthly allowance more than the average person makes back home ? Ex: maybe an ex boyfriend. Sin sot: is usually discuss between the elders or parents of both party. Don't look down on thais. Many of my thai friends earn 40k or more. The company is paying my secretary 16k, do take note that the minimum wage is 15k for graduates. And they do buy houses w/o downpaynent; most Thais do so. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huayrat Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Your a soft touch.. Dont be mugged by her, get rid and find another gf.. Loads here who will treat u well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 in the whole of my relationship with my Now wife, she has never asked for One baht. maybe you should do some soul searching, remember Money number one, would you do this for a western lady. Presumably if you were married to a western lady who didn't have a job you'd give her some money to live on? You wouldn't let her starve to death? Theirs giving money and being fleeced, any Women anywhere who keeps asking for more Money, somethings wrong. marriage. or any relationship is 50/50.If not in money in actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falkan Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 bargirl/issan - lady? next time date someone with more money then you (plenty of those here) = reverse scam and enjoy life 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overherebc Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 The terminology used a lot tends to put a negative spin on the way people think about it. There is big difference between hearing, You must pay me X a month to marry me and, hearing, I will probably need a couple of thouand extra next week cha as I have to pay the electric and water bill. The first sounds to me like a contact on HP for a car or a bike and when you don't want it anymore you can get rid of it. Two people talking about household expenses and getting things straight is whole different ball game. I don't subscribe to the regular payment to the family, they most likely got on with their lives before and forking out cash to them just re-enforces the idea that if you wait long enough someone will give you what you want without any effort on your part. After all the coconut will eventually fall out of the tree so why climb up to get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retyrd Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 First hint of getting a girl and she wanting me to pay a monthly fee would be the end of the relationship. It boggles the mind how people can do it. Sin Sod, you are suppose to get it back anyway. If the family ever altered it to them keeping the money, the sin sod would change to ZERO baht. You would not know until after you have given it right ? And as for a monthly stipend, what if she is not working or does not have her own business or is not a thai chinese descendant ? "And as for a monthly stipend, what if she is not working or does not have her own business or is not a thai chinese descendant ?' Then I would not consider her as worthy of dating never mind marriage, solution, move on to the next one until you meet one of the above. Well, I have to disagree with both WebBangkok and rgs2001uk on this matter. Everyone’s personal circumstances are different ... so mileage does vary. For me, today, I sent my first stipend to the gf's Family. Why ... ? Because for the first few years of our relationship no money has exchanged hands ... nor requested from either party. She is main bread winner in the Family as the Farms cash flow does vary. After 12 years in the same job, she chucked it in to come live with me in my home country for the time we have together under her Visa conditions. The amount ... Well, it's approximately 1/2 what she gave to the family, and I have made it know that I expect the others in the Family unit, who are working to 'step up to the plate' and contribute more. Should she return to employment, our responsibility to the Thai Family returns to her, subject to an amount agreed to by both of us. When I first dated a Thai Lassie, I knew full well that that their concept of 'Family' far exceeded what we consider it to be in the West. But it's a double edged sword and I know that I have a family of built-in baby sitters and family carers if, and when needed. As for the OP, if the situation is as you have described, only you know what is acceptable for your personal circumstances ... but there is a chasm between our contributions ... you have much more mileage on the clock then I do! . thank you for your feedback. By the way what is an OP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 By the way what is an OP? Original Poster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beechboy Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) By the way what is an OP? Original Poster I always thought that it was "Opening poster." Not that it matters and your mug is better than mine. Grrrr. Edited August 27, 2012 by Beechboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retyrd Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 By the way what is an OP? Original Poster I always thought that it was "Opening poster." Not that it matters and your mug is better than mine. Grrrr. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) @ retyrd I have my plan I hope, not returning to Thailand, is included in your "plan". Edited August 27, 2012 by Semper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 The OP refers to his wife as stupid. I guess that as they are living in the US, they are legally married and this is recognised by the US authorities? He stated that he has a lot of money. maybe the divorce will mean a lot of his money moving over to his wife? Maybe he got her to sign a pre-nup. And hopefully he would have had the sense to make sure that she took advice about the prenup with a different and bi-lingual lawyer. If she didn't know what she was signing, it may well not be upheld. She may not be as stupid as he thinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicostratos Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 A factory worker makes 7000 Baths in Khorat. A senior teacher can make up to 30,000 per month. Hiring workers for building a house cost me 250 Baths per day, 350 Baths for a "chang", who is experienced. 20,000 Baths is a big amount of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post cdnvic Posted August 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2012 A baht is a unit of currency. A bath is something that removes sweat and grime from peoples' bodies. I've met many guys on visa runs that were short of both 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retyrd Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 A baht is a unit of currency. A bath is something that removes sweat and grime from peoples' bodies. I've met many guys on visa runs that were short of both LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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