Why Budhists,never Look Back In The Past?

[Sandman77]

Hello!

can some one explain me,why budists never look back in there past!

in my relationsship,i recogneized ,that many thai people,not like,when i talk to long about,what was before,and talk about the past!

A well-known, who had told me of a monk who she met on the road told of reticence, about the past, it is a part of Thai culture, the people, everything you want to know about you closed, about himself, but very are little and tell?

above all, then when it comes to the family, is previously lied and covered up a problem instead of solving it!

that I have in my relationship with women, the main problems, I go to a problem, and think about it long before I solved it!

my girlfriend tells me she had learned as a child not to talk about problems, and to get out of the way, but that's what I can not!

my friend said she believes that if people worked up, not their own past, repress constantly, is that sooner or later, end up in a Depresion!

perhaps we do in Europe, plans for the future too much, so it's exact opposite!

someone who has some good advice on how to deal in a relationship with these cultural differences?

[Several]

Thinking does not necessarily mean talking about it. Try to come up with a strategic rather than a diplomatic solution.

Its not really possible to change a persons cultural backround if they don't want to, and if you did manage it they would become alienated from their own people.

Compromise will most likely be viewed as weakness and an invitation to take further advantage of you. What a Thai says today may change tomorrow. Or even in the next hour.

Try to read or learn more about Thai culture and history. Understand that this has been their way for a long time. What seems insane to a farang is perfectly rational to a Thai. Never make them lose face, that is more important than anything you have to say.

Its not really a Buddhist thing to ignore the past at all. The Kamma we live with now is entirely the result of it. Buddhas teachings and all the commentaries are better understood in the context of the time they come from.

Show her love, compassion and understanding. Learn from her that letting things go will ease your own suffering. Love her for who she is, not who you want her to be, or let her go so that you both avoid suffering.

Good luck.

[BusyB]

Without doubt the mistakes of the past hold the keys to a golden future. Strike's me what's important is a dispassionate reviewing, not a turgid dwelling on them. And the word 'responsibility' is much better than 'blame' for the process.

I guess in Buddhist terms it really shouldn't bother someone that someone else doesn't want to undergo that procedure. Chances are the unwilling person will eventually become another example on one's own path to some form of enlightenment. And anyway, we can only exert power over our own selves, not others, so what's the point in trying? Besides that, someone examining their past may well come up with totally different ideas and perceptions than we would if we heard their story. ...

Edited September 9, 2012 by BusyB

[Xangsamhua]

People may not want to talk about the past for all sorts of reasons. As Several has said, that must be respected.

An unwillingness to learn about the past is certainly not a Buddhist trait. Nursing regrets or grievances from the past, however, is not good practice. It implies attachment, perhaps malice, and sows negative karmic seeds.

Thai people's lack of interest in the past, e.g. of their own country, except in the cartoon form in which they learn it at school, during commemorations and in the media, is understandable. Why should one take an interest in the past when one is powerless to influence the present or future? The common man's interest in the past in industrialized western countries quickened when universal suffrage was attained or was imminent, and when trade unions gave men a voice and a sense of power to change people's circumstances for the better. From the mid-19th century on, young working men were heading off to evening classes and mechanics institutes to improve their knowledge, especially of history and economics (political economy) because they believed this could be useful to them in taking an informed part in their destiny and that of their fellows. This has not yet happened in Thailand, but is not far distant.

One of the commonest responses I've heard in Thailand and Laos to a question or comment about the past is "I don't know. I wasn't born then." To the respondent life began with his or her birth. This is not a gross manifestation of egocentrism, but a resigned acknowledgement that the speaker can have no influence over life beyond the narrow limitations of his or her own brief and confined span of it.

[bankei]

What a weird post!

[chris1dna]

"Weird"? I find it fascinating and informative. How is it "weird"?

[hookedondhamma]

"Weird"? I find it fascinating and informative. How is it "weird"?

I found many things 'weird' when I came here. That quickly changed, though.

OP, please take note of the 'Face' comment Several made. It is VERY important, I can't stress that enough. That doesn't mean you have to adapt it as your own, though. Just be observant. Check up also on the concept of 'Nam Jai.'

As far as the past goes, from what I've seen, it's ok to look back if it's something 'sanook' or fun. Anything otherwise probably isn't too good of an idea. One of my old acquaintances was going off on his wife (who wasn't present at the time) and said 'If you hold on to the past, you're living in it. That's why they say 'living in the past.' I'll remember that for the rest of me life.

Good luck with everything, and if you have anything that confuses you, just search around the forum - or email a few of the thai members (they're very friendly, and helpful).

[ITGabs]

you can't make so much plans with they or trust, since they usually change the mind a lot, young people probably is different...

they all the time evading the problems never put in front of they, this is one of the 8 percept that budist people must follow, no violence, no conflict, step back and go/try for other side.

so if you keep the thing simple and peaceful probably you can get much more that you expect, thai people have so much "nam jai" when they feel good (people working in turistic are usually more selfish)

[cheeryble]

Now hear this!

Einstein was right when he said distinctions between past, present, and future are just stubbornly persistent illusions.

"Time" is useful to survival by being a framework on which to facilitate thinking useful to our survival.....so they evolved.

In Buddhist terms parramatta dhammas are directly sensed realities as they happen. It is highly salubrious to know about PDs as when you can recognize them you know this is something reliable.

One of the most pivotal of the Buddha's teachings is the Diamond Sutra. This sutra helps us realise how we reify things which are merely concept........we fabricate them......we in fact fabricate our world.

Past present and future are conceptual and therefore are not PDs.

They should be seen for what they are.

The so-called "present" experience, in the so-called "first person singular", is the only thing you can rely on.

(concepts can cause sensual reactions like emotions. These are PDs, realities, but the concepts themselves are not real).

Homework: Space......

Edited September 9, 2012 by cheeryble

[bankei]

"Weird"? I find it fascinating and informative. How is it "weird"?

Sorry, I meant the first opening post.

Firstly the grammar and spelling are weird. Second it is just strange the ideas some people have. "Buddhists don't think about the past!". Totally ridiculous.

Firstly there are billions of Buddhists out there, so making a generalisation like this won't work. You cannot even narrow it down to "Thai" Buddhists because Thailand has such a variety of different cultures, ethnic groups, strains of Buddhism etc. Would a Dhammakaya female layperson think the same as a monk in the Ajahn Chah sect?

And what does thinking about the past entail? Beleiving that the past doesn't matter, forgetting about it, past lives?

[ChrisB87]

Because you shouldn't hold on to anything. The main practice in Buddhism is to let go