Dying In Thailand

[Trembly]

Firstly, my deepest sympathy in a very difficult situation. Secondly, I do some voluntary work in nursing homes most of whose residents are in a similar position, facing imminent death.

I assume you are aware that if you are in the last stages of a mortal illness, you might not be able to get on a plane. Certainly, once you have gone to Thailand, the chances of making the return trip are much lower, as more time will have passed.

As death approaches more closely, you might feel differently then, than you do now. In fact, I would be sure that you will have a different perspective when the end nears. If near the end you realise that you should be back in your home country, near friends and family, it will be too late.

Do you really want to have a lonely death? Are there not bridges that you should be re-building in your home country, with people who do care about you, and who would bring you comfort in your last days?

Ignore the suggestions about wine, women, and song, if you are really that sick, you will not have the energy or the interest, frankly.

Finally, it is not unknown for even serious cancers to go into spontaneous remission. If this were to happen, there you will be, broke and lonely in a foreign country. Similarly, if you were to outlive your budget. You will have no-one to care for you, certainly no government or charitable support. Think carefully about this.

I know of someone (distantly, but I've no reason to doubt the story) who came to Thailand from America expecting to quietly die of cancer whilst seeing places he'd never been to. He liked Thailand enough to extend his stay here indefinitely. He didn't make a point of doing a "rock star", he just did whatever he felt like more or less whenever he wanted to and he didn't bother to get a job or do anything that would stress him out. After a while (several months? 6 months? A year? I can't remember) he had passed his supposed 'death date' in fine fettle so he went to see a doctor and was told that his cancer had gone through spontaneous remission and he was in fact free of it.

So, there is hope. I personally think doing as above is probably the most sensible thing anyway (provided you've got all your ducks in a row financially, with contingencies for when you die slower than you expected or don't die from cancer at all). There's no point in trying to have fun.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Trembly

[Chicog]

I've always said that if I were in this position I'd party until I could no longer, then tip the doctor a few quid extra for a much larger bag of morphine and controls to the drip, so I could pick my moment. Preferably after a thumping Arsenal win so I could go with a smile on my face.

What happens after that is pretty well irrelevant, medical science are more than welcome if they feel they could learn anything from my tattered remains.

I've seen two relatives go through the protracted and ultimately fruitless and horribly painful, slow, lingering death process, with a third facing it, and there is no f**king way I'm having any of that!

[jko]

So sorry to learn of your illness, conquent. I'm involved with a group in Chiang Mai that assists elderly expats in need and we've been involved with cases of people at end-of-life situations. If you email the group, they could put you in touch with the two case workers who have much experience in this area and are cancer survivors themselves.

It is possible to receive pallative end-of-life care at McKean Hospital in CM and they can make all arrangements to repatriate a body or ashes. Ashes are much less expensive to repatriate and they arrange a very dignified, but low cost, ceremony when a patient dies.

However, once you hear some stories of people who have experienced end-of-life here, you may wish to remain in the U.K. with its safety net of social services. Everything here is self-funded. Presumably your friends and family are in the U.K. Most of the cases I know of, the reason people elect to remain in Chiang Mai for end-of-life is either because their condition has gotten to the point that they can't travel to return to their home country and/or they've been in Thailand so long and want to experience their final days near their friends and family.

www.LannaCareNet.org

Conquent, my heart goes out to you, and I understand totally, many would wish for the same thing. But having myself

[jko]

So sorry to learn of your illness, conquent. I'm involved with a group in Chiang Mai that assists elderly expats in need and we've been involved with cases of people at end-of-life situations. If you email the group, they could put you in touch with the two case workers who have much experience in this area and are cancer survivors themselves.

It is possible to receive pallative end-of-life care at McKean Hospital in CM and they can make all arrangements to repatriate a body or ashes. Ashes are much less expensive to repatriate and they arrange a very dignified, but low cost, ceremony when a patient dies.

However, once you hear some stories of people who have experienced end-of-life here, you may wish to remain in the U.K. with its safety net of social services. Everything here is self-funded. Presumably your friends and family are in the U.K. Most of the cases I know of, the reason people elect to remain in Chiang Mai for end-of-life is either because their condition has gotten to the point that they can't travel to return to their home country and/or they've been in Thailand so long and want to experience their final days near their friends and family.

www.LannaCareNet.org

Conquent, my heart goes out to you, and I understand totally, many would wish for the same thing. But having myself

Conquent, my heart goes out to you, and I understand totally, as many people would wish for the same thing. But having myself taken care of friends in extremis over here, and observed the escalating costs involved as palliative treaments are prolonged, I am concerned that unless you have considerable resources, this might not be a wise decision.

As much as Thailand appears to be a friendly and compassionate country to visitors, everything eventually boils down, quite ruthlessly, to hard cash, especially for private hospital treatments if you need them. That is a possibility, and a crowded government hospital is simply not an option in your case.

Next comes friends and family, and unless you already have sincere and genuine friends in Thailand, you are likely to feel very alone over here, and the superficial 'companionship' is likely to be totally mercenary.

NancyL therefore makes a good point, and as much as being over here appeals strongly - I imagine based on your holiday memories - it may not turn out to be as you expect, so do think it over carefully. The free medical care back in the UK is generally hard to beat, and if that's where your friends/family are also living, Thailand and all its attractions are really no substitute, especially if you are feeling very ill.

In the end, you are probably the best judge, so whatever you decide, bless you Conquent, we salute your courage and resolve.

[poanoi]

Two of my friends buy them regularly to fall asleep better,

and suggested i buy a bunch to for my insomnia, and offered me some several times,

actually i bought some now that i think of it, just dont know where i placed them.

[craigt3365]

Several posts containing references to suicide have been removed from view. As you can imagine, there are numerous legal issues associated with this, some of which could put Thaivisa at risk.

Please, no more discussions of this.

Let's focus on the OP:

If I was to go to Thailand and end my days there. Where would be the best place to visit and how would I repatriate his body back to the UK for a burial.

I'll throw a question out to the OP again: What do you like best? The ocean? Mountains? Forrest? Tranquility? Big city? What's the best memory you have of Thailand? Maybe repeat that?

As for repatriation of the body, cremation is the best way to go. One of our mods just had to deal with this. You can PM me for details if you are interested. She did extensive research into this.

[jacktrip]

if he really has 3 months and is alone what is there to lose?

you can all waste time arguing about the logistics of taking a plane flight, but i have put myself in this mans shoes, its high time to fly and theres no turning back.

dont really understand why time is even being wasted on a forum with such a question and indecision.

[craigt3365]

Another mod just gave me this link. Worth a read:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/267381-dying-at-home-in-chiang-mai/

[geriatrickid]

A person with visible respiratory distress can be stopped at either checkin or at the gate and be asked to perform a simple test: The Pax is asked to walk 50 yards/metres at a normal pace or to climb one flight of stairs. If there is severe dyspnoea. (breathlessness) the airline has the right (and a duty to behave in a responsible manner) to block the patient from embarcation. This is the accepted basic test used to determine if the passenger will tolerate a normal aircraft environment. If a passenger can not pass this test, there is a strong likelihood that there will be an inflight medical emergency.

For those that have respiratory illness, flying out of the UK, these are the guidelines. Some may find it informative.

http://www.brit-thoracic.org.uk/Portals/0/Guidelines/AirTravelGuidelines/BTS%20Air%20travel%20recommendations%20September%202011.pdf

A passenger with severe lung disease is not physically fit to fly.

[pcdude]

Sorry to hear that, conquent, have seen my father die from lung cancer and thus, have an idea what might be in front of you. However, answering your question is difficult, as their is information missing:

What do you want to do in Thailand, are you seeking fun life or lay low in country side or just lay on beach?

What medical attention do you need now and in the future?

Is there anybody in the UK you can trust with the task of repatriating your body or would it be an idea to be burried in Thailand?

Most of all, the question of medical attention is key and you might post that question in the health forum, i.e. about specialized clinics / doctors (once you decided about the are you want to go) or (what my father choose to do) questions about palliative care when you want to omit being in a hospital bed... the health forum might be the best place for that kind of questions.

All the best to you!

I have left it all a little late. I am assured there is no medical treatment that will save my life and that I will not be enjoying a Turkey dinner on Christmas day. I took the decison to return a place where I felt happy. I have no intention of sitting in a hospital any longer. I would rather spend a "GREAT" day in Thailand than months on a drip feeling sick and chocking all the time. I cant bear that again and yes I might add a few weeks to my life.

Bury in Thailand or England. I am relieved not to worry about it.

I just envy those lucky beggars I read on here that worry about being eaten by Tigers. (That made me chuckle).

I know how you feel mate... I left Australia a few years ago to do the same...

[jcw]

his is one of the most thought provoking threads I have ever read on Thai Visa,

Thank You

[wamberal]

if he really has 3 months and is alone what is there to lose?

you can all waste time arguing about the logistics of taking a plane flight, but i have put myself in this mans shoes, its high time to fly and theres no turning back.

dont really understand why time is even being wasted on a forum with such a question and indecision.

Then you do not understand much about human nature. These are matters of life and death, they are surely worth talking about. If you are not interested in "wasting time", then feel free to bugger off somewhere else.

You are being very arrogant in saying that you can put yourself in this man's shoes. You cannot.

This is a complex issue, trying to reduce it to a simple one is totally misguided and, frankly, lacking in compassion for somebody who is facing death.

Edited September 30, 2012 by wamberal

[MRGTINGTONG]

Well mate, life is too short and you should never die having regrets for not doing some thing you wish you had.

Im from the uk and it is my wish to die in thailand, be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled on patong beach

in phuket, no fuss, no sadness from friends or family, just knowing that this is the place i love and 'feel at home'

and they all understand that this is my wish. I shall move to thailand in the not too distant future when i have

made all the arrangments.

If your well enough to travel, go now, sort out other things later, take some one close to you aswell, do what you

can and just enjoy, enjoy your remaining time left, 'they say your a long time dead' so go for it mate.

Good luck and see you on the other side.

[thaibeachlovers]

Sorry to hear that, conquent, have seen my father die from lung cancer and thus, have an idea what might be in front of you. However, answering your question is difficult, as their is information missing:

What do you want to do in Thailand, are you seeking fun life or lay low in country side or just lay on beach?

What medical attention do you need now and in the future?

Is there anybody in the UK you can trust with the task of repatriating your body or would it be an idea to be burried in Thailand?

Most of all, the question of medical attention is key and you might post that question in the health forum, i.e. about specialized clinics / doctors (once you decided about the are you want to go) or (what my father choose to do) questions about palliative care when you want to omit being in a hospital bed... the health forum might be the best place for that kind of questions.

All the best to you!

I have left it all a little late. I am assured there is no medical treatment that will save my life and that I will not be enjoying a Turkey dinner on Christmas day. I took the decison to return a place where I felt happy. I have no intention of sitting in a hospital any longer. I would rather spend a "GREAT" day in Thailand than months on a drip feeling sick and chocking all the time. I cant bear that again and yes I might add a few weeks to my life.

Bury in Thailand or England. I am relieved not to worry about it.

I just envy those lucky beggars I read on here that worry about being eaten by Tigers. (That made me chuckle).

My sympathies.

However, unless you particularly want to be buried, the Thai way of cremation would be best. I don't know anything about being buried here, and surely the cost of transporting a body would be high.

When I go, I want it to be here, and cremation is my choice. That way, my ashes can be scattered in my home country without it costing a fortune.

[kevvy]

you are a brave man enjoy your short life and go out in style ....god bless you ...

[besth]

Several posts containing references to suicide have been removed from view. As you can imagine, there are numerous legal issues associated with this, some of which could put Thaivisa at risk.

Please, no more discussions of this.

Let's focus on the OP:

If I was to go to Thailand and end my days there. Where would be the best place to visit and how would I repatriate his body back to the UK for a burial.

I'll throw a question out to the OP again: What do you like best? The ocean? Mountains? Forrest? Tranquility? Big city? What's the best memory you have of Thailand? Maybe repeat that?

As for repatriation of the body, cremation is the best way to go. One of our mods just had to deal with this. You can PM me for details if you are interested. She did extensive research into this.

Like so many other posters have said, all my best wishes go to the OP. Not easy to give advice on this kind of thing, but with an illness such as yours, Bangkok would be the best place to end your days. In terminal stages pain control is important and in Thailand I don't think that can be done other than in the best Bangkok hospitals. It will require money and/or good health insurance.

I wish you the best and hope you enjoy a long time pain free.

Edit. "It" will require money and/or good health insurance

Edited October 9, 2012 by besth

[stiggy]

Never say never.

Two close friends have been told they had just months to live one with in operable LC and other cancers throughout his body, both are still here 5 years later.Both are still very active.

Initially they both had anxiety over those they are leaving so got there act together, wills etc and then felt they could relax.

Whatever you decide I wish you all the luck you need, and heres hoping you have the opportunity to eat a few more Turkeys.

[rascalman]

Sorry to hear that, conquent, have seen my father die from lung cancer and thus, have an idea what might be in front of you. However, answering your question is difficult, as their is information missing:

What do you want to do in Thailand, are you seeking fun life or lay low in country side or just lay on beach?

What medical attention do you need now and in the future?

I would say pray and thank God for your life. Makes no sense to bring body back, but you can do this. Funeral homes can do that here. I wish you God's speed.

Is there anybody in the UK you can trust with the task of repatriating your body or would it be an idea to be burried in Thailand?

Most of all, the question of medical attention is key and you might post that question in the health forum, i.e. about specialized clinics / doctors (once you decided about the are you want to go) or (what my father choose to do) questions about palliative care when you want to omit being in a hospital bed... the health forum might be the best place for that kind of questions.

All the best to you!

I have left it all a little late. I am assured there is no medical treatment that will save my life and that I will not be enjoying a Turkey dinner on Christmas day. I took the decison to return a place where I felt happy. I have no intention of sitting in a hospital any longer. I would rather spend a "GREAT" day in Thailand than months on a drip feeling sick and chocking all the time. I cant bear that again and yes I might add a few weeks to my life.

Bury in Thailand or England. I am relieved not to worry about it.

I just envy those lucky beggars I read on here that worry about being eaten by Tigers. (That made me chuckle).

[rizla]

Having just a couple of months ago lost a friend to lung cancer you have my deepest sympathy. One question comes to mind should you decide to return to Thailand, just how ambulatory are you? Can you walk about without difficulty, do you need a wheelchair? The reason I ask is the airline companies tend to be very careful whom they transport with illnesses, especially those with respiratory problems.

I sincerely hope that you can spend your remaining time in the Land that you love.

Was that Richard?

To the OP, my heart goes out to you mate....your post has touched me and my inner thoughts...kudos, and do what the hell you want, then you will sleep well..

riz

[snake24]

Something i am curious about. Why does OP seem to want to spend his last days and end up dying in thailand which is a country far away from this birth country?

I suppose the majority of ppl don't really put much thought into their deaths it's like if i die today then i die today. I am just curious what is the reason behind flying to a foreign country and choosing to die there and i read the first post and he didn't state any important or significant reason as to why he would want to die in thailand.

[somtampet]

his is one of the most thought provoking threads I have ever read on Thai Visa,

Thank You

Brings home how important life is and the moans about how much money we have,horrible posts about issan dark skinned low class, and all the middle class pompous statements on here,seem trivial in comparison.

Hope u find what u are looking for, to make your days very happy

[sms747]

Do not give up hope as you never know what is going to happen 100%. I know a guy in his 50's living in bkk who was told by two different Hospitals here that he had months to live with stage 4 lung cancer. On having further scans three months later he says the Docs were astonished to be unable to find any trace of the cancer. He says it was due to self medication with some mushroom drink, more likely natural remission, but either way he's very happy about it. He was given 6 months by two top consultants.

Ohh did not realise this was from last years and the OP only posted for a day, did he ever get here?

Edited September 12, 2013 by sms747

[Sheryl]

The OP is a year ago.

[farang000999]

Well let's just hope that he fulfilled his dying wish of sleeping with Thai prostitutes.