Rob8891 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 And of course the definition of caring for your family - caring for anyone or anything - is dish out the cash, and the corollary argument is that if you are not dishing out the cash, you don't care. The problem is, caring and supporting a family, a loved one, a friend or someone you just happen across in life cannot be condensed down to dishing out cash - If this is true then there is no basis to argue that people who dish out the cash care, and people who do not dish out the cash do not care. Then the residue of the whole idea is not a universal definition of what constitutes caring - The residue is - surprise surprise - Dishing out the cash. Look at my post. Read it carefully. Spot the word "cash". Found it? I wonder why not. I talked about people who care. Now if you go back and read the thread - and I mean read the ACTUAL words that posters have used as opposed to what you would like to believe they used, you'll find all sorts of posts demonstrating care without the "dishing out cash" on which you fixate. In fact, quite often there have been quite a lot of comments to the effect that poster would NOT give cash, but help in other ways. Even if posters DO choose to give money to their families, what on earth has it got to do you? None of the actions any of these posters have quoted pose any threat to you, so why do you appear to feel so inferior that you have to attack them? What a pity that not only do you choose to denigrate others, but you do this from a totally false premise by and large. You obviously have some personal objection to the fact this is a feel-good thread where some people have concentrated on a positive aspect of life in Thailand, and so you behave like a total ned who wants to cause as much disruption as you can to others' enjoyment. Instead of acting like a spoilt brat, why not go to another thread? You are not forced to read or post in this one, so it does not reflect on you well that you keep coming back to disrupt things....in fact, you pertray yourself as a total p***k, not that I would suggest you are, but that is how you behave here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
payak Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) really does come down to an individual thing, every girl is different, she is not a thai, she is an individual. parents are also individuals like us, so how we interact with them and what we give if anything varies, same give foolishly, many in fact. others give with good reason without fear or worry as there partners may not ask or have any expectations other then love, they give to her because they want to. All in all neither are hurting any of us, the foolish ones may amuse us but hey who cares. Edited October 15, 2012 by payak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) Look at my post. Read it carefully. Spot the word "cash". Found it? Read the OP..... This is not about you personally. And please, do try not to make it about me either. Edit, please note I have chosen to ignore your blatantly offensive remarks directed at me - I'm not interested in tantrums. Edited October 15, 2012 by GuestHouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob8891 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Look at my post. Read it carefully. Spot the word "cash". Found it? Read the OP..... This is not about you personally. And please, do try not to make it about me either. Edit, please note I have chosen to ignore your blatantly offensive remarks directed at me - I'm not interested in tantrums. ....but you are more than happy to attack others? HYPOCRITE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
payak Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 anyone who can cook like my m.i.l deserves something. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 ....but you are more than happy to attack others? HYPOCRITE! Can you give me an example of where I have attacked you? (please give the full quotation so I can review it in its full context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soi41 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 And of course the definition of caring for your family - caring for anyone or anything - is dish out the cash, and the corollary argument is that if you are not dishing out the cash, you don't care. The problem is, caring and supporting a family, a loved one, a friend or someone you just happen across in life cannot be condensed down to dishing out cash - If this is true then there is no basis to argue that people who dish out the cash care, and people who do not dish out the cash do not care. Then the residue of the whole idea is not a universal definition of what constitutes caring - The residue is - surprise surprise - Dishing out the cash. Look at my post. Read it carefully. Spot the word "cash". Found it? I wonder why not. I talked about people who care. Now if you go back and read the thread - and I mean read the ACTUAL words that posters have used as opposed to what you would like to believe they used, you'll find all sorts of posts demonstrating care without the "dishing out cash" on which you fixate. In fact, quite often there have been quite a lot of comments to the effect that poster would NOT give cash, but help in other ways. Even if posters DO choose to give money to their families, what on earth has it got to do you? None of the actions any of these posters have quoted pose any threat to you, so why do you appear to feel so inferior that you have to attack them? What a pity that not only do you choose to denigrate others, but you do this from a totally false premise by and large. You obviously have some personal objection to the fact this is a feel-good thread where some people have concentrated on a positive aspect of life in Thailand, and so you behave like a total ned who wants to cause as much disruption as you can to others' enjoyment. Instead of acting like a spoilt brat, why not go to another thread? You are not forced to read or post in this one, so it does not reflect on you well that you keep coming back to disrupt things....in fact, you pertray yourself as a total p***k, not that I would suggest you are, but that is how you behave here. "why not go to another thread?". Democracy in action! In my naivity I thought this was a public forum, where if posting you are taking the risk of others disagreeing with you. Even on a holy "feel-good" thread. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 does anyone else get confused when i people write: "i dont give the thai inlaws anything except --- " and then go on to a list a wide range of items from cash to cars to medical bills to homes? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jvs Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Tommo, Why i give five times the money?The house they live in is in a terrible state,my chickens are in a better building. how can i let the parents of the woman i love live like that?I choose to give them this support because i want to! Yes i know it is normal in the west that a child stays with the mother but this is Thailand. Not one Baht is wasted on alcohol,they are honest hard working people. It is a pity some of you guys refuse to see there are actual good people in this country,your loss. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
payak Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 there are fantastic people everywhere here, loads of them, hard to find but there non the less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 It is a pity some of you guys refuse to see there are actual good people in this country,your loss. Is anybody denying there are good people here, loads of them even? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Tommo, Why i give five times the money?The house they live in is in a terrible state,my chickens are in a better building. how can i let the parents of the woman i love live like that?I choose to give them this support because i want to! Yes i know it is normal in the west that a child stays with the mother but this is Thailand. Not one Baht is wasted on alcohol,they are honest hard working people. It is a pity some of you guys refuse to see there are actual good people in this country,your loss. Many folk don't care how YOU think they live their lives. It's in YOUR head that you cannot live like that. I have given stuff to folk to improve their life, and guess what, they sold it for a piss up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob8891 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 ....but you are more than happy to attack others? HYPOCRITE! Can you give me an example of where I have attacked you? (please give the full quotation so I can review it in its full context. hey ho....How boring...another post you have deliberately misinterpreted. I said you have attacked OTHERS..... Since I have not posted my private life on here, it would be pretty hard for you to attack me. OK... I'll use short words for you....I did not say you attacked me. Your ability to misread posts is impressive, but not in a positive way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 ^ I take that as a no then. OK search the thread and find me attacking others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Songhua Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Tommo, Why i give five times the money?The house they live in is in a terrible state,my chickens are in a better building. how can i let the parents of the woman i love live like that?I choose to give them this support because i want to! Yes i know it is normal in the west that a child stays with the mother but this is Thailand. Not one Baht is wasted on alcohol,they are honest hard working people. It is a pity some of you guys refuse to see there are actual good people in this country,your loss. Many folk don't care how YOU think they live their lives. It's in YOUR head that you cannot live like that. I have given stuff to folk to improve their life, and guess what, they sold it for a piss up. Lol. Were you invited? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob8891 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 And of course the definition of caring for your family - caring for anyone or anything - is dish out the cash, and the corollary argument is that if you are not dishing out the cash, you don't care. The problem is, caring and supporting a family, a loved one, a friend or someone you just happen across in life cannot be condensed down to dishing out cash - If this is true then there is no basis to argue that people who dish out the cash care, and people who do not dish out the cash do not care. Then the residue of the whole idea is not a universal definition of what constitutes caring - The residue is - surprise surprise - Dishing out the cash. Look at my post. Read it carefully. Spot the word "cash". Found it? I wonder why not. I talked about people who care. Now if you go back and read the thread - and I mean read the ACTUAL words that posters have used as opposed to what you would like to believe they used, you'll find all sorts of posts demonstrating care without the "dishing out cash" on which you fixate. In fact, quite often there have been quite a lot of comments to the effect that poster would NOT give cash, but help in other ways. Even if posters DO choose to give money to their families, what on earth has it got to do you? None of the actions any of these posters have quoted pose any threat to you, so why do you appear to feel so inferior that you have to attack them? What a pity that not only do you choose to denigrate others, but you do this from a totally false premise by and large. You obviously have some personal objection to the fact this is a feel-good thread where some people have concentrated on a positive aspect of life in Thailand, and so you behave like a total ned who wants to cause as much disruption as you can to others' enjoyment. Instead of acting like a spoilt brat, why not go to another thread? You are not forced to read or post in this one, so it does not reflect on you well that you keep coming back to disrupt things....in fact, you pertray yourself as a total p***k, not that I would suggest you are, but that is how you behave here. "why not go to another thread?". Democracy in action! In my naivity I thought this was a public forum, where if posting you are taking the risk of others disagreeing with you. Even on a holy "feel-good" thread. You are quite right, these are all public fora, which means you are free to pick and choose...... but why not pick one where you can contribute positively instead of denigrating other people? The comment was not written in the customary format "if you don't like it go away", but it was phrased as a civil question.I apologise if, as such, it flew clean over your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 The bounds of civility and definition of denigration seem to be a bit fudged around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marstons Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 So whats so terrible about the way westerners treat the elderly, in your enlightened wife's view. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcolminthemiddle Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 There is much lack of understanding of Thai culture in this thread. Children are expected to look after their parents as best they can as they get older. If you are in a relationship with a Thai from a traditional family expect them to want to help. It is not the amount that is important. In my case, what my wife does with her money is her affair and knowing her parents, I am happy with her choice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I have lost the plot ( that's the norm anyway ) so what exactly is being discussed here ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Children are not only expected, but bound by Thai law to help their parents if they can't cope. It's in the Civil Code, I've posted it on TV before, but have trouble finding it with my tab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post elektrified Posted October 15, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) Charity is a personal choice and it is not my place to comment on personal decisions. However, it does beg the question as to whether the men that contribute to their spouse's family upkeep, also contribute or contributed to their own families. I find it odd that sometimes men that take up with foreign spouses forget about their own families.( I am certainly not saying that is the case with OP. ) Agreed. Sounds like so many men here are brainwashed thinking they should be giving hand-outs to people who are not their own flesh and blood. Forget about these people and take care of the people who brought you into this world, raised you, and took care of you for 18 or more years. These other people were fine before a farang dated their daughter. The fact that they only get 500 THB per month in retirement benefits is a fault of the government and the system here. You people are either being used or just plain foolish. Edited October 15, 2012 by elektrified 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post elektrified Posted October 15, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 15, 2012 i dont give to my wifes perents, they are capable of earning there own money, and like i said in the post at the start if he my wifes papa dosnt want to earn money then he wont get it from me, but i dont mind bringing a few bits for my wifes grandperents on her mamas side, they are wonderful people both in there late 70s, grandma still goes out fishing with her freinds and papa takes himself of in the woods setting traps ect, they dont need me,, its MY choice to get them the odd bit of chicken or pork, give them things out my green house, take them eggs from our chickens,or ducks, same as what i did when my grandperents were alive in england, and yes i still take care of my children in england, ill be fishing with my son for a week end of oct, jake That certainly seems reasonable to me. But the guy who cuts a check each month to the in-laws for 10K THB for the last 10 years???? They must be laughing their heads off each month when the check arrives! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elektrified Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 seen a few of the exbargirl farang wives in the local area, play the "look what i have games with each other" trying to outdo each other at mainly the farang's expense, it is both a pathetic and revolting game. there is a difference between, respecting and loving your inlaws and being taken for a ride by money/asset hungry leeches. thai wives, in thai/thai relationships can also be guilty of the "look at what i have games". Central Festival in Phuket is full of old guys with ex-bar girl wives and Luk Kreung kids.You can see the laser removal scars on their upper arms and they're constantly eyeing up younger guys,while their husbands are desperately looking around for who they'll be eyeing up next,it's hilarious! Hilarious! It is hilarious and it's true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Charity is a personal choice and it is not my place to comment on personal decisions. However, it does beg the question as to whether the men that contribute to their spouse's family upkeep, also contribute or contributed to their own families. I find it odd that sometimes men that take up with foreign spouses forget about their own families.( I am certainly not saying that is the case with OP. ) Agreed. Sounds like so many men here are brainwashed thinking they should be giving hand-outs to people who are not their own flesh and blood. Forget about these people and take care of the people who brought you into this world, raised you, and took care of you for 18 or more years. These other people were fine before a farang dated their daughter. The fact that they only get 500 THB per month in retirement benefits is a fault of the government and the system here. You people are either being used or just plain foolish. You're right! Basically any responsibility that any Thai girl has to look after her ageing parents is instantly lifted from her shoulders and placed firmy onto the shoulders of an unsuspecting farang,how is that right or even fair? It's just a question of who came first,the chicken or the egg?Do these families order the daughter to leech from a foreigner or is it of the daughter's own accord? You can see by this thread that there are many good in-laws too ashamed to make the farang husband foot all the bills.Obviously if the demands for sin-sods and houses start coming into the relationship it's time to make your excuses and leave. You have been warned but as P.T. Barnum said,'There's one born every minute'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Unsuspecting Farang ? I though the Thai family values were the first line on any travel guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
payak Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 we westerners are not bad to our parents, it's just that we don't need to look after them as our great western nations provide for the elderly. the thailand with its amazing respect and honour for there elderly leave them with 500bht to starve, so perhaps certain peoples wives should not judge the west so quickly. The family unit in thailand is not as strong as it appears, watch them tear each other apart over 100bht debt, no more loving a family then us then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) Yes i know it is normal in the west that a child stays with the mother but this is Thailand. It's the same in Thailand, apart from hookers on long term contracts, who understandably don't want their kids to interact with their customers. (I may be completely wrong on this, but it's what I've seen happening, with legit relationships the kids move in too) Edited October 15, 2012 by TommoPhysicist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 the thailand with its amazing respect and honour for there elderly leave them with 500bht to starve, so perhaps certain peoples wives should not judge the west so quickly. Here we go again, and here i go again. In Thailand nobody is short of food, in the worst situation any Temple will feed you and give you someplace to sleep (foreigner or Thai). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) the thailand with its amazing respect and honour for there elderly leave them with 500bht to starve, so perhaps certain peoples wives should not judge the west so quickly. Here we go again, and here i go again. In Thailand nobody is short of food, in the worst situation any Temple will feed you and give you someplace to sleep (foreigner or Thai). Very true. I spent time once in the temple when I had no money. Who knows, maybe I'll spend some time there again when I'm old. However the foreigners that come here don't generally want to renunciate and live a spiritual life, in fact quite the opposite. Edited October 15, 2012 by Neeranam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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