Personally I think euphemism is immoral and shouldn't be allowed. But back on the topic I'd definitely vote for the death penalty. Crocodiles that kill people are way too dangerous to keep in the house.

Quite honestly, I'm delighted that people keep their man-eating crocodiles in the house. I certainly don't want them roaming the streets.

There's nothing worse* than being stuck in the queue at the dentist's behind a crocodile

SC

*

Not strictly speaking true - perhaps somewhat of an exagerration. It's not as bad as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

Yes I agree that crocodiles can get all snooty with their "I can use my lower jaw so stop calling me an alligator" attitude. Wrapping up their jaw with some duct tape usually drops their hi so attitude down a level.

But back on topic, I'd wait awhile before installing windows 8. Let them iron out the bugs first.

I need someone to do my ironing, send them around will you.

Sent from my GT-I9003

Did you know the average person who lives to be 90 years old spends 114.062 days of their life ironing.

5mins x 365 days x90 years = 164250 mins/2737.5 hrs/114.02 days - 20% (no ironing as a child unless you've had strict parents and they've give you time of from your 3 x newspaper delivery rounds) =89.5 days/ 3 back to back tourist visas in LOS.

My point is when you take the washing out, hang it on hangers immediately = No creases = smart chap= handsum man = more time to play

Does Any Thread Ever Stay On Topic?

If they did, there would only be 5-6 replies to each topic, in contradiction to this topic.

I don't know why they call it lubricant when they could have called it lubrican

Did you know that by time you're 90yo you will have urinated approximately 100,000 times. That's about three and a half months holdin' the member.

I don't know why they call it lubricant when they could have called it lubrican

True. It makes it hard to keep in place and may easily slide off topic.

I don't know why they call it lubricant when they could have called it lubrican

True. It makes it hard to keep in place and may easily slide off topic.

Have you greased anyone's palm recently. Coconuts are hard to pick when the palm is slick.

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Did you know that by time you're 90yo you will have urinated approximately 100,000 times. That's about three and a half months holdin' the member.

Thats not taking into account the other times you are holding your member......

1/2/3 times a day for 2/5/10 mins from age 14 - 90......

There is some serious calculations to be completed - some members will have higher readings than others but an average irrelevant calculation of the average calculated calculation would be not disimilar to 10x365x76 =21082400 mins = tenors elbow

Did you know that by time you're 90yo you will have urinated approximately 100,000 times. That's about three and a half months holdin' the member.

By the time you're 90, you don't hold "the member", you just urinate. That's why they invented diapers for old people.

Edited October 19, 201213 yr by Semper

Did you know that by time you're 90yo you will have urinated approximately 100,000 times. That's about three and a half months holdin' the member.

By the time you're 90, you don't hold "the member", you just urinate. That's why they invented diapers for old people.

We''l have to take your word for it,

Does that apply to the second calculation also Roll on old age

Back off-topic...

Roger throws a lamp from the roof of a house after a long, impassioned (and obviously unsuccessful) plea for the lamp not to commit suicide. On another occasion he decides to elope with an armchair, declaring it is pregnant with his children. Another time sees him disrupting the funeral of a relative by dragging the corpse out of the coffin and - employing a Brooklyn accent and emulating a character from a Mickey Spillane novel - aggressively questioning the deceased about some stolen goods.

His parents seem to be very understanding and merely politely request that he stops his behaviour. These are the only times that Roger manages to show any sign of interaction with real people, although usually it is only in the form of saying things like "wibble wibble."

Did you know that by time you're 90yo you will have urinated approximately 100,000 times. That's about three and a half months holdin' the member.

I'm nowhere near 90 and I think I've spent more than three and a half months hold in' the member. Especially if you mean cumulatively rather than non- stop.

I wish I had some duct tape. Or a large halibut.

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I don't know why they call it lubricant when they could have called it lubrican

True. It makes it hard to keep in place and may easily slide off topic.

That's why you use the duct tape. I keep saying it.

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the English newspapers read: "English archaeologists have found traces of 200-year-old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Kerrymen," a southwest Irish newsletter, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 metres in peat bog near Tralee, Paddy O'Droll, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

Does Any Thread Ever Stay On Topic?

depends what the topic is

does anybody stay faithful

and what does the price of fish have to do with anything

By the way, this seems to be the place to ask:....

If you want to look cool at work, can you buy welder's contact lenses?

SC

Yes! but be careful a stray Arc doesn't stick them to your eye ball.

Does Any Thread Ever Stay On Topic?

depends what the topic is

does anybody stay faithful

and what does the price of fish have to do with anything

Best example I know of a thread that never deviates is a bank statement.

Up, down...but never sideways.

Cheers

I went to the bank and asked "How do I stand for a loan?"

Manager said "You don't....you kneel"

I took with me to the bank that day. He made a deposit....

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Random thought...where is the relevance of this thread to Thailand?

My computer beat me at chess., but it was no match for me at muay thai.

OK, Mods.... WE GOT RELEVANCE..... ......

I'm amazed how many times we read about duct tape in this thread. I applaud the members' general effort to stick to the topic.

I'm amazed how many times we read about duct tape in this thread. I applaud the members' general effort to stick to the topic.

Super glue is a better adhesive, good for overweight over talkative wives.

Sent from my GT-I9003

I have two rules for success in life:

1. Do not give away all of your secrets

2. Never trust ANYONE.

Depends what you mean by success.

I'm working on the basis that Mata trusts Luiz.

Cross threaded screw.

Speaking of thread...who REALLY invented the sewing machine?

Singer sure took credit.

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Speaking of thread...who REALLY invented the sewing machine?

Singer sure took credit.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

James Brown was a sex machine (so he claimed - I can't vouch for that personally).

And he was a singer.

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Can people please keep this thread on topic!?

Duct tape is clearly superior to masking tape.

If it moves and it shouldn't, duct tape

If it doesn't move and it should, WD-40