What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

[Beetlejuice]

Hmm. So the common sense is the rationalization once a ho, always a ho, did I get it right ? If that's the case, the only logical solution is to get a virgin. I've heard that one before, but I think it's been invalidated a few times by those who went the virgin way and still got cheated.

No you got it wrong.

Read my post again, word for word, and try to collate (collate meaning: to examine, place together and digest carefully the contents in order to note points of comments and of agreement/disagreement). the meanings in your mind.

I am the Mr Spock of Thai visa, only without the pointed ears, and believe that logic, fact and common sense without prejudice will always prevail and unllike according to popular belief, I don`t know all the answers. All I am saying is, that as far as sex industry workers are concerned I would not be willing to take chances by becoming romantically involved with any of them. That`s me, OK? What others do, they do at their own risk and discretion, it`s your life and you choose the <deleted> or bust options as to which pathes you take.

As for me, I always follow my own senses as to what I consider is risky and what is a safe bet, and I`m doing all right, thank you.

Edited October 26, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[krisb]

I met my wife at the beach on a sand bar while eating a mars bar.

Does that count?

[thaibeachlovers]

It`s all to do with common sense.

Firstly, whoever anyone chooses to be they’re partners and spend the rest of their lives with, has to be up to their own discretion. It`s all a gamble whatever and whoever we choose.

My own reasons why I would never become personally involved with women who work or had worked in the sex industries is because I would have to ask myself the questions; what makes me so appealing to her over and above all the possible hundreds of male clients she has been intimate with during her life history prior to meeting me? And why should her attitudes and perceptions towards men change regarding me and would it be possible for her to change her whole outlook on life for my sake and how long would it be before she becomes bored with the mundane married life and start reverting to her old ways again? Plus could you really trust someone who has considered sex and encounters with men as nothing more than a business activity with a customer? And my last but most important concerns would be, is it possible for a woman to be able to change her whole character and habits of a lifetime, then fall into the mode of becoming a sweet little housewife, loving mother if there are children involved and staying loyal to one partner for the remainder of her lifetime?

For many of these women, being a part of the sex industry is not only just a job, but they have become institutionalised into it, and as with any kinds of institutions it is extremely difficult to break away from them.

There probably are exceptions to the rule, but think about it, are you willing to take the gamble?

<is it possible for a woman to be able to change her whole character and habits of a lifetime> SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

Most bargirls that I have seen in Pattaya would be older women that had a child/ children and were abandoned by their husband/ BF. The shelf life of a bargirl is limited to her age, so not long for many. so where do you get "habits of a lifetime" from. For most, it's just for a year or so.

<what makes me so appealing to her over and above all the possible hundreds of male clients she has been intimate with during her life history prior to meeting me?.

"what makes me so appealing to her over and above all the possible hundreds of males she has been intimate with during her life history prior to meeting me?'.

It's not the middle ages anymore.

< how long would it be before she becomes bored with the mundane married l>

what's the average length of marriage in the west? 50% or more get divorced now.

<staying loyal to one partner for the remainder of her lifetime?>

What's the chances of that in the west? LOL.

[krisb]

So if your wife didnt work at a bar but she was a prostitute, does that cancel itself out?

And what if she worked doing massage? and there was a bar next door?

Wow, the possible scenarios are endless

[Heng]

Thaibeachlovers got it right with his question about how many western guys met their partners in western bars. Or nightclubs. Are all these people to be frowned upon? The OP is about where you met your wife, but has predictably turned to a subject on BG's.

Apples and durians. I think we're talking about western bars that are places where people of both sexes go out to have drinks and to socialize vs. the types of bars here where there girls in the bar are employees of said bar and there for the sole purpose of prostituting themselves.

I go to a few places where the employees dress up like nurses and Catholic school girls but I don't trick myself into thinking that it's the kind of place to go to if I have a car accident or want to send someone from my family to private school.

[meatballs]

About bargirls... There really isn't much of a difference between a pro and a wife. Both want money. Pro will sleep with you a night or two at most. Wife will do it but only if she gets a house and car after the divorce.

Anyways, I took a non pro because she was a virgin. Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky.

[DrTuner]

10000 ? That's what I call a career. Assuming let's say 3/day, 365days in a year .. around 10 years. With 500 a pop, 5M baht. Quite impressive.

[tingtongtourist]

Thaibeachlovers got it right with his question about how many western guys met their partners in western bars. Or nightclubs. Are all these people to be frowned upon? The OP is about where you met your wife, but has predictably turned to a subject on BG's.

Apples and durians. I think we're talking about western bars that are places where people of both sexes go out to have drinks and to socialize vs. the types of bars here where there girls in the bar are employees of said bar and there for the sole purpose of prostituting themselves.

I go to a few places where the employees dress up like nurses and Catholic school girls but I don't trick myself into thinking that it's the kind of place to go to if I have a car accident or want to send someone from my family to private school.

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

[chrisinth]

Thaibeachlovers got it right with his question about how many western guys met their partners in western bars. Or nightclubs. Are all these people to be frowned upon? The OP is about where you met your wife, but has predictably turned to a subject on BG's.

Apples and durians. I think we're talking about western bars that are places where people of both sexes go out to have drinks and to socialize vs. the types of bars here where there girls in the bar are employees of said bar and there for the sole purpose of prostituting themselves.

I go to a few places where the employees dress up like nurses and Catholic school girls but I don't trick myself into thinking that it's the kind of place to go to if I have a car accident or want to send someone from my family to private school.

Certainly hope it was girls dressing up as nurses and school girls.......... . Freaks me out a bit when people use the term employees in cases like this, leaving that small shadow of doubt that the employees could be anyone................ .

I hear you with your Apples and durians............... , but just sayin' anyway

[thaibeachlovers]

About bargirls... There really isn't much of a difference between a pro and a wife. Both want money. Pro will sleep with you a night or two at most. Wife will do it but only if she gets a house and car after the divorce.

Anyways, I took a non pro because she was a virgin. Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky.

<Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky>

You need to study biology. I can't remember how long it is before the body renews all it's cells, but eventually it is all replaced, so wouldn't be the same "snatch" anymore.

At 2 or 3 customers a week It would take the average bargirl around 200 years to do it 10,000 times ( according to my calculations ).

[tingtongtourist]

About bargirls... There really isn't much of a difference between a pro and a wife. Both want money. Pro will sleep with you a night or two at most. Wife will do it but only if she gets a house and car after the divorce.

Anyways, I took a non pro because she was a virgin. Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky.

I think pro will stay with you as long as they have your money coming in and have no better option or to old or lazy to look again.

this also make me wonder how long wife will stay with you if you have no money and not to dish out?

[Beetlejuice]

Thaibeachlovers got it right with his question about how many western guys met their partners in western bars. Or nightclubs. Are all these people to be frowned upon? The OP is about where you met your wife, but has predictably turned to a subject on BG's.

Apples and durians. I think we're talking about western bars that are places where people of both sexes go out to have drinks and to socialize vs. the types of bars here where there girls in the bar are employees of said bar and there for the sole purpose of prostituting themselves.

I go to a few places where the employees dress up like nurses and Catholic school girls but I don't trick myself into thinking that it's the kind of place to go to if I have a car accident or want to send someone from my family to private school.

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Just a wild stab in the dark guess, but could it be because we are in Thailand?

I remember once visiting Italy, and the amount of Italians I saw that seemed to be everywhere, was staggering.

Edited October 26, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[tinfoilhat]

What a lot of political correct BS!

How anyone even can consider marriage to a BG/prostitute/hooker is beyond me. The lack of personal pride and integrety for a person, who choose to work as a BG, would automatically disquality IMO that person from being "wife material". And don't give me the crap about supporting the poor family, there are plenty of (not so wellpaid) jobs out there.

@jake. "horses for courses" yeah sure as long, as they are not gay!

what about the personal pride and integrity of someone, who, believing as you do, sleeps with one?

[DrTuner]

The patent solution is of course to marry a really old BG at the end of her career. Got a few houses, garage full of Benz, tons of gold and won't be going back to job as there's no demand for oldies. To take full advantage one should be 18 himself, then just wait happily for inheritance. I'm getting the vibe some have figured this out already.

[tingtongtourist]

Thaibeachlovers got it right with his question about how many western guys met their partners in western bars. Or nightclubs. Are all these people to be frowned upon? The OP is about where you met your wife, but has predictably turned to a subject on BG's.

Apples and durians. I think we're talking about western bars that are places where people of both sexes go out to have drinks and to socialize vs. the types of bars here where there girls in the bar are employees of said bar and there for the sole purpose of prostituting themselves.

I go to a few places where the employees dress up like nurses and Catholic school girls but I don't trick myself into thinking that it's the kind of place to go to if I have a car accident or want to send someone from my family to private school.

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Just a wild stab in the dark guess, but could it be because we are in Thailand?

What i mean to say is Thailand have farang area and Thai ,which i call normal area.

Sukkumvit,khao san,soi cowboy,walking street pattaya ect...all is thourit area

and you think you can meet good normal Thai woman in these place?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to work in the sex industry.

There is nothing wrong with marrying a sex worker - up to you!

IMO you are more likely to get good value for your money from one with less experience than with one with lots.

And maybe even lucky enough to end up with a sincere and honest girl - which exist among the many different types of sex workers and night-scene players, I just figure the odds are better outside those groups.

No moral judgments, all a matter of taste and practicality.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Yes very well said.

Personally my point is to avoid any areas where there are any farang at all, only consider girls with zero level of English and as close to zero level of experience with men in general as possible.

[Berkshire]

Personally my point is to avoid any areas where there are any farang at all, only consider girls with zero level of English and as close to zero level of experience with men in general as possible.

This is really, really good advice. And it's what I've been trying to tell friends and acquaintances from the west seeking Thai girls. Sure, there are some Thai girls who speak English well and are honest and decent. But the percentages are much better among those who don't speak much English. And in much larger numbers. These guys who can't speak Thai have no idea what's really available out there. It's almost unfair. If you can speak Thai in Thailand, the world is your oyster.

[Beetlejuice]

About bargirls... There really isn't much of a difference between a pro and a wife. Both want money. Pro will sleep with you a night or two at most. Wife will do it but only if she gets a house and car after the divorce.

Anyways, I took a non pro because she was a virgin. Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky.

<Dealing with a snatch that has had 10,000 johnsons stuck in it is just plain yucky>

You need to study biology. I can't remember how long it is before the body renews all it's cells, but eventually it is all replaced, so wouldn't be the same "snatch" anymore.

At 2 or 3 customers a week It would take the average bargirl around 200 years to do it 10,000 times ( according to my calculations ).

So what you are saying is, that according to nature and all this biological renewal of body cells, is that after only a few years, these women should be completely rejuvenated, the old body cells being replaced by the new?

I think you should do your research again, because in my wife’s case, it hasn’t worked.

[soi41]

What a lot of political correct BS!

How anyone even can consider marriage to a BG/prostitute/hooker is beyond me. The lack of personal pride and integrety for a person, who choose to work as a BG, would automatically disquality IMO that person from being "wife material". And don't give me the crap about supporting the poor family, there are plenty of (not so wellpaid) jobs out there.

@jake. "horses for courses" yeah sure as long, as they are not gay!

what about the personal pride and integrity of someone, who, believing as you do, sleeps with one?

Been in Thailand for more than 10 years and have never bought sex from a prostitute! I am not putting myself on the high moral horse, it is just that I don't find ladies standing on streetcorners, flashing their tiny tits, tempting at all. To me they are just embarressing themselves (and me). A person whos body you can rent for the price of a good meal, has no appeal to me whatsoever!

[jingjoe8]

if most westerners in our countries believe our thai brides are all ex bargirls,what do the thais think when they see the girls with us?

Do they assume the girls are all ex hookers

[DrTuner]

This reminds me of the classic tales from my home country. In the countryside you'd still find innocent pumpkins, but many made the mistake of bringing them to big city, only to find out they had a latent BG gene and went on screwing anything with a stiff protrusion. Analogy here would be that the farang better move to the sticks, too, to maximize the odds.

[Beetlejuice]

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Yes very well said.

Personally my point is to avoid any areas where there are any farang at all, only consider girls with zero level of English and as close to zero level of experience with men in general as possible.

Remember, a fool and his money are easily parted.

In the end it all boils down to common sense and experience wherever you are or whatever envirorments one maybe placing themselves in.

There are certain places where I may enjoy visiting, without restricting myself to only specific establishments, but would still treat with caution. It`s that simple.

[CountSaintGermain]

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Loads of truth in that.

Decent Thai girls almost never go to bars. When they do, they go to Thai-style bars with friends or family. They avoid farang joints.

They don't go to our bars because they're not interested in us, our beers, our food, or our inflated prices.

Sure, this is a big generalization, but it'll work in your favor.

I'd never hook up with a girl I met in a bar (slut bar or otherwise).

[HardenedSoul]

if most westerners in our countries believe our thai brides are all ex bargirls,what do the thais think when they see the girls with us?

Do they assume the girls are all ex hookers

Yes if you're 60+ years old and look like a walrus in pants.

[Fuschia]

As De Niro says to Sharon Stone in the movie Casino : " Once a hooker , always a hooker" .

[Semper]

What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

No big deal really, it's just that they, in most cases look more hot or sexy (a requirement for the kind of work they do) than the average girl you meet in the street. And this could be a reason people marry them.

[tingtongtourist]

What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

No big deal really, it's just that they, in most cases look more hot or sexy (a requirement for the kind of work they do) than the average girl you meet in the street. And this could be a reason people marry them.

i must have all this time gone to wrong bar

everyone girl i see in most case in Pattaya or in bar in BK is the most very ugliest i ever seen in my life, i then say to myself ,must go look on street in suburb to see any good looking normal girl

[payak]

I don't care where people perceive I met my wife twenty two years ago. They can think what they like.

Walk the streets of a western city like Sydney or London and 90% of those who see you will gleefully think you're with a BG anyhow. You could go to the mall with Yingluck .... and they'd STILL think it. Who cares?

Good Point - So i'm correct in the assumption that all falangs think because you have an Asiatic wife you met under less selubiuos circumstances.

This sterio type is a hard one to crush in the western world no matter how hard you try.

I'd say so joe. But the problem is their's.

It's their mindset because it's the only thing they can perceive. How many people who have been to Asia have witnessed the expat courting the girl in the office or a fellow student at uni? That's not what they see so it's not what they know. And, even if they've never set foot in Asia, it's not the side of it they've heard about or seen on television. All they have a concept of is the 'seedy' (not my word, I don't care where anyone else met their wife)

The stereotype is also prevalent in Thailand. A bar girl is a girl some are good some not so just like the rest of the general population. How many western girls are virgins when they marry?

come on, there is a difference between a girl losing her virginity because she has had prior relationships and being done by half the worlds backpackers.

[TommoPhysicist]

At 2 or 3 customers a week It would take the average bargirl around 200 years to do it 10,000 times ( according to my calculations ).

Most attractive young BGs have 2-3 customers per day!

Ok, so the 40yo BGs only have 2 or 3 a week, but most of them were attractive and young once.