Leaving Thailand After 17 Years - Crazy?

[cyberholz]

Reading through the various responses, looks like costs are the major reason preventing people from going back "home".

[HeijoshinCool]

Someone said, "You can never go back."

Old maxims are old for a reason.

Nonetheless, everyone's different. Maybe you can.

I'd love to go back. I know I won't stay happy. Things have changed.

Resurrect this thread in a year and let us know what you did and how it turned out, for the next guy that asks the same question.

[Bagwan]

The family of the mother of my children, not just the immediate but extended, altogether at least two dozen, are much more true family to me and my kids than the mother is herself, and more so than my own immediate family back in the states.

Generous and kind, I have to exert self-discipline to decline the many offers they make to help support us financially that I know they can't easily afford.

Don't believe all the over-generalizations you find here. . .

Snap. As soon as my parents died I was off on my travels. It has been 43 years since I had any contact with the rabble that I was born into and if it takes another 43 years to resume contact, it will be too soon. My Thai wife and her family have made me a much more nicer and kinder person for which I thank them and I live here in peace with them and myself.

When I left the UK over 12 years ago I stated that it wasn't a country that I wanted to live in any more and was in process of being taken over by foreigners and ruled by people that would now be oppressed and speaking German if it wasn't for the UK and the peoples of it's Commonwealth. From what my long term friends that I am still in touch with tell me, this is even more the case. For those who remain they had and still have family ties that they are unwilling to break but they leave me in no doubt that I made a good decision.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Reading through the various responses, looks like costs are the major reason preventing people from going back "home".

Actually the only thing that would send me back other than visiting, death in the family etc would be financial desperation. But I would have to be truly desperate, most likely have to leave the kids with Yai and dTaa upcountry, would break my heart even if only a temporary separation.

The wealthier I am the less likely to spend any significant time "home".

[GreenSnapper]

I wouldn't live here for any career reason at all. Especially with a family and kids. Even on an expat package - face it, if you are successful and/or talented, you won't be in Thailand.

This country is for the young party crowd or the older retired crowd who have sufficient money and who don't mind the limitations of a Thai lifestyle.

Once you notice you are fed up with Thailand, you shall leave. These feelings won't change, and you know that after 17 years. You will regret wasting your life here.

[mania]

Reading through the various responses, looks like costs are the major reason preventing people from going back "home".

I don't think one size fits all.

"home" for me is where I currently live & feel happy.

I am not stuck here anymore than where I came from.

I actually have a house I own back where I came from so there is nothing preventing me

from going back there if I so choose.

But I prefer it here. Of course that may change as life does at times

[transam]

Ubon will soon have TWO McDonald's, so now l am staying.

[poanoi]

McDonald's

If it had at least been Burger king

[transam]

McDonald's

If it had at least been Burger king

I live in hope. .....................................

[kangeroo]

hello ,

I think i have the best of both worlds 6 months thai 6 months aus , can satisfy any needs that a human might have and with the family ,

kids can still get a good education which is actually enhanced by staying in both countries for that period of time i know the school that my kids spent a lot of time in Australia were happy to come to some arrangement with a school in Thailand , perhaps the op could consider that .

cheers

[WebBangkok]

Well I have been here nearly 4 years and I love it.

Back home in Sydney, it's nice, but just way too dull and everyone seems to be in a rush. Man I hate the winter too.

Thailand has been great to me, I have not experienced a lot of the negatives of what others say here.

Thailand has some good things and bad things, just like every other country has, it just depends how you look at things and what individual experiences we all have here. We are not all going to have great experiences which ever country we live in.

For me, I love the weather and so many other things, some of the things I don't like is the pollution, traffic plus a few other things here. But I enjoy it here, for me it is still an exciting city and I find the locals here to be great.

[simon43]

I've lived in Thailand (north Phuket) for 10 years, with some major ups and downs, but averaging out as a reasonable successful business and family life, (meaning that I'm not destitute and haven't been murdered by my Thai wife).

Earlier this year, with my wife able to manage our small business in Phuket, I had the choice to go and work in Saudi for $7k a month, or go and work in Myanmar for $1.5k a month.

Easy decision?

I chose Myanmar.

I do not regret my decision. The stark reality of the challenges and poverty that many Burmese people encounter each and every day makes me appreciate how lucky I am to live in a beautiful country - Thailand.

I think if I returned to live in the UK, I would be a foreigner in my own country. In Thailand and in Myanmar (especially in Myanmar), I am treated with respect and friendship from all classes of society.

There is no way that I could exchange my current lifestyle for a mundane life in cold, rainy England!

Simon

[MahaYellow]

What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander.

[farang000999]

The family of the mother of my children, not just the immediate but extended, altogether at least two dozen, are much more true family to me and my kids than the mother is herself, and more so than my own immediate family back in the states.

Generous and kind, I have to exert self-discipline to decline the many offers they make to help support us financially that I know they can't easily afford.

Don't believe all the over-generalizations you find here. . .

Snap. As soon as my parents died I was off on my travels. It has been 43 years since I had any contact with the rabble that I was born into and if it takes another 43 years to resume contact, it will be too soon. My Thai wife and her family have made me a much more nicer and kinder person for which I thank them and I live here in peace with them and myself.

When I left the UK over 12 years ago I stated that it wasn't a country that I wanted to live in any more and was in process of being taken over by foreigners and ruled by people that would now be oppressed and speaking German if it wasn't for the UK and the peoples of it's Commonwealth. From what my long term friends that I am still in touch with tell me, this is even more the case. For those who remain they had and still have family ties that they are unwilling to break but they leave me in no doubt that I made a good decision.

Too many foreigners in the UK so you decided to invade Thailand? I wonder what the Thais think of all these foreigner buffaloes walking about their country?

[bangkokburning]

I have a friend working in China. Hes had enough andlooking at moving on. Another couple had enough of N India (need to leave 1x a year really bugs them) .

Ive flirted with going back, but could never resettle around my parents without a spouse. Need to stay near my folks cause they only have a few yrs left. Not right to go back, dig in to a job that doesnt allow much holifays to visit.

Now Im married and my wife loves the US. She has a great job, average money. Iam torn to pull her up for some shitty job in states.

Then there are the expenses, what can we save?

What sort of job can I find near my folks, not much.

Then there is the fact I just dont fit in, never reallly did, even in eccentric California. I really dislike the way the nation has turned all phony conservative. 2000 election was a real.eye opener for me. Really displeased with the country.

We may go back and enjoy it for awhile, but without healthcare, I will be back. Healthcare such an impossible joke in US.

Im fed up with a lot of things here. Still, lots to be thankful for.

I would not be suprised if we lived out of backpacks for five years after my parents pass.

Maybe a relo to the South Pacific.

Id say go - you can always come bsck.

Edited November 5, 2012 by bangkokburning

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Just remember "wherever you go there you are"; I've often been surprised how life's biggest annoyances show right back up in the new place.

For me too "fitting in" has always been impossible, the nice thing about being an expat is you're not expected to, being "other" is the status quo.

[NeverSure]

Just remember "wherever you go there you are"; I've often been surprised how life's biggest annoyances show right back up in the new place.

For me too "fitting in" has always been impossible, the nice thing about being an expat is you're not expected to, being "other" is the status quo.

I understand that being different is the norm in LOS, but I find it hard to imagine that you don't fit in, in the West. None of us fits in with everyone, but we find our niche. You are too bright, articulate, and have too much wisdom to not fit into some group in the West. I think if you don't "fit in" it's a choice and that's OK. You would fit in just fine with me in the US, and I fit in with my friends. Birds of a feather and all as they say....

[jackr]

Well these days the USA is so cheap that the argument USA vs Thailand is quite interesting.

Until you need medical, but Yankyland is not the 'argument'. Op is musing Europe.

Fully understand the appeal in going back. If one has itchy feet here and has their own digs set up, job, and in a decent area, I say go for it. Muang Thai ain't what it was and can easily wear one down. I would find it hard if it had to be permanent, though... just think, no more hot totty on motorbikes!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Just remember "wherever you go there you are"; I've often been surprised how life's biggest annoyances show right back up in the new place.

For me too "fitting in" has always been impossible, the nice thing about being an expat is you're not expected to, being "other" is the status quo.

I understand that being different is the norm in LOS, but I find it hard to imagine that you don't fit in, in the West. None of us fits in with everyone, but we find our niche. You are too bright, articulate, and have too much wisdom to not fit into some group in the West. I think if you don't "fit in" it's a choice and that's OK. You would fit in just fine with me in the US, and I fit in with my friends. Birds of a feather and all as they say....

Well thanks, but my own perception when I'm back is that there is huge pressure to conform to aspects of the mainstream culture I am fundamentally opposed to. Almost all subjects that come up in daily conversation I have to exert my will just to keep my mouth shut or I find myself a pariah.

It's true that my only motivation to go back is to visit with/support my family, and thus I feel a bit "stuck" in their social circle. If I really decided to settle down there I guess I'd try to find more like-minded people, ideally we'd have the resources to found an intentional community of some sort.

But I have to admit the thought makes my skin crawl, the place just creeps me out. Here I can wear a Muslim Jihad shirt and it hardly merits a comment, maybe a casual conversation. There I'd end up with the verbal equivalent of being stoned to death in the village square.

[mania]

Well these days the USA is so cheap that the argument USA vs Thailand is quite interesting.

Some things maybe but most important things I would say are still cheaper here.

Lack of stifling taxation is a big one

Many folks may be able to afford the places in the US now that have been foreclosed

etc. but the way things are going the hikes in Property taxes will kill them.

Those things never end only get worse as their debt increases by leaps & bounds daily.

Major things like Medical & Dental are already high & will only get worse.

Electricity

Fuel

( Which can also be high or higher in Thailand but in Thailand you can choose very economical transportation if you want )

Water

Even services such as Cable TV, Internet, Cell Phone usage is much lower here

Also basic items like these show even there seems Thailand is still well ahead in

being cheaper.

Cost of Goods in Thailand VS USA

Edited November 6, 2012 by mania

[End]

This is an interesting thread as i can kind of relate to it. I have been living in Bangkok for 8 years and am now 37, next month I am moving back to England. I have been procrastinating the move for a few years now, but have finally decided to bite the bullet. Reasons for going? I am single, have no assets, am a million miles away from being financially stable, my mom is getting on, and I am worried about my future. Obviously going back in the current economic climate isn't a great idea, but the longer i leave it, the harder it's going to be to get back into the job market. I have had a great time here, but it's time to move on.

[lackerbandman]

im working on the idea of best of both worlds ,then sick of neither ! summer in Australia .then summer in Thai..never to fall foul of another cold winter ..6 months in each place ,,thats my theory ,so far

[kevvy]

i am leaving as I miss what you are talking about , i know Australia is more expensive , but it is the quality of life you get there. the beautiful beaches , the food the blue skies clean streets . I will always come back to thailand for 3 months of the year ..this will happen to my wife and I in 2 years time

[transam]

Just remember "wherever you go there you are"; I've often been surprised how life's biggest annoyances show right back up in the new place.

For me too "fitting in" has always been impossible, the nice thing about being an expat is you're not expected to, being "other" is the status quo.

It's up to the farang individual to ''fit in'', have met many a farang with their hi-so nose in the air.

[bermondburi]

This is an interesting thread as i can kind of relate to it. I have been living in Bangkok for 8 years and am now 37, next month I am moving back to England. I have been procrastinating the move for a few years now, but have finally decided to bite the bullet. Reasons for going? I am single, have no assets, am a million miles away from being financially stable, my mom is getting on, and I am worried about my future. Obviously going back in the current economic climate isn't a great idea, but the longer i leave it, the harder it's going to be to get back into the job market. I have had a great time here, but it's time to move on.

Do it mate , I've just done so . If you want to have a good life later on then it's the best thing to do . You can always come back for holidays etc . From my own point of view after 12 years in Thailand , I felt as if I was stagnating there and it became quite a boring place for me . I'm not going back there until 2014 now when I'll have a long holiday there . I think it will be good to have a break so that I can really see what it means to me to not be there . And of course the money I'll be making in the meantime will be very nice too. Got a house there so we can always go back but see no real reason to do so until retirement.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

It's up to the farang individual to ''fit in'', have met many a farang with their hi-so nose in the air.

I've never had any desire to fit in, my point is here it's not expected in the first place and therefore more comfortable.

I see the "hi-so nose in the air" thing as conforming to mainstream attitudes rather than going against them, and agree that it's very common here, not just an issue back home.

[End]

Thanks for the positive feedback bermondburi.

Edited November 6, 2012 by End