Staying Faithful

[MJCM]

and if your daughters man cheated on her, what would you say.

your not even married are you, read back and you will learn why.

when your daughter comes to her dad crying because her man cheated, you just tell her what you told me.

Not something I have to worry about for the next 6 years as she is only 14.

Anyone wants to do anything with her before that, 5M bht or jail for several years.

After that, up to her.

I am married, nearly 5 years, have Thai step-children and my own Thai children, Thai wife, I can also read, write and understand Thai, but admittedly not so good at speaking Thai (too many flavours to choose from).

As for staying faithful, my wife is still trying to get me to marry her younger sister, and we all live together. If I were to give in, would that fall into either your 'deviant' or 'unfaithful' categories?

You're not actually offering to sell sexual services with your 14 year old step daughter for 5 million baht are you?

Shame on you for even making such inappropriate comments, even if in jest.

I agree 100% with Jayman, but I think TommoP meant if someone wants to marry her before she is 20 then the Sin Sod is 5 Million.

[manxninja]

A man is programmed to get erect and have kids until he is in his 70's if he looks after himself.

Makes sense that he wont be faithfull the whole time.

We are here to reproduce like Tommy it is acceptable to cheat on your partner its just normal behavior.

[mania]

Never been unfaithful/cheated on marriage vows

Not all countries have the same marriage vows.

In Thailand The man makes a vow to protect, the woman makes a vow to serve.

Why are so many expats blinkered by their home countries culture?

Isn't that what we came here to escape from?

Oh we did not make any of those types of vows you mention.

We were married in a Buddhist Temple ( not in this country )

So no vows as such just a blessing for us.

The vows I mention are the ones I myself made mainly with myself.

Nothing scripted

Edited November 11, 2012 by mania

[MAJIC]

IMO If you are finding it difficult not to cheat,you are with the wrong Partner,do her a favour and let her go.

[cooked]

Let's not forget why fidelity in marriage was thought to be a good idea in the past and formed the basis of many moral codes: fathers didn't want to support children not of their loins, and preventing the spreading of unwelcome STDs. I (only just, touch and go) fought off the advances of a young Thai lady in January. I since found out that she has brought the joys of gonorrhea to several families in the district.

Nothing to do with morals, it's just common sense.

Apart from that, my wife has told me she'll have my balls off quicker than I can...aaaargh what's tha ...

[CharlieH]

If you really love someone, and you have had them cheat on you, you wouldnt even ask the question.

The pain and anguish it can cause is horrific and NO I wouldnt do it to anyone I cared about, and if you even considered doing it then perhaps your relationship isnt as special and real as you think it is.

In my opinion there isnt a word low enough or disgusting enough to even begin to describe the kind of person that does cheat on his/her spouse.

If you really feel you want to play elsewhere, at least show some respect and let the person you are with go before you do it.

Edited November 11, 2012 by CharlieH

[TommoPhysicist]

Why is everyone so concerned about foreign men cheating on Thai wives?

Much more likely to be the Thai wife cheating on the foreign man from what I've seen.

[Jayman]

You're not actually offering to sell sexual services with your 14 year old step daughter for 5 million baht are you?

Marriage not sexual services (entirely within Thai tradition).

That's the sin sot price I have set on her. Fool around with her and you go to jail until you can pay.

Everyone in the village knows the price, and it's a great deterrent for the local lads.

Ohh well if it's one thing I learned from the experts here on TVF is that if the family is asking such a high sinsot then they must be bad ppl and all in it for the money.

[SiameseCurios]

If you really love someone, and you have had them cheat on you, you wouldnt even ask the question.

The pain and anguish it can cause is horrific and NO I wouldnt do it to anyone I cared about, and if you even considered doing it then perhaps your relationship isnt as special and real as you think it is.

In my opinion there isnt a word low enough or disgusting enough to even begin to describe the kind of person that does cheat on his/her spouse.

If you really feel you want to play elsewhere, at least show some respect and let the person you are with go before you do it.

I agree. You obviously understand this issue better than many other people on this website.

As you wrote: " there isnt a word low enough or disgusting enough to even begin to describe the kind of person that does cheat on his/her spouse".

CHEATING IS WRONG.

Edited November 11, 2012 by SiameseCurios

[payak]

tommyphysicist, your wife is trying to pass you on to her younger sister.

and this is the woman you chose to have children to, to raise your children, good luck with that. lol.

[loong]

Some people cheat because they think that the grass may be greener.

Eventually you realise that the grass is never greener.

Some people, once they realise this, may still cheat cheat because of the crap that they get from their wife.

After a while they realise that all they are doing is getting double the crap!

If you see a bit of totty that you fancy having a fling with, by all means fantasise about it, but don't actually do it. 90% of the time the fantasy is much better than the reality.

[SiameseCurios]

Why is everyone so concerned about foreign men cheating on Thai wives?

Much more likely to be the Thai wife cheating on the foreign man from what I've seen.

True. But that doesn't excuse infidelity.

[payak]

Why is everyone so concerned about foreign men cheating on Thai wives?

Much more likely to be the Thai wife cheating on the foreign man from what I've seen.

i can see why you chose that avatar, its you all over.

[BookMan]

and if your daughters man cheated on her, what would you say.

your not even married are you, read back and you will learn why.

when your daughter comes to her dad crying because her man cheated, you just tell her what you told me.

Not something I have to worry about for the next 6 years as she is only 14.

Anyone wants to do anything with her before that, 5M bht or jail for several years.

After that, up to her.

I am married, nearly 5 years, have Thai step-children and my own Thai children, Thai wife, I can also read, write and understand Thai, but admittedly not so good at speaking Thai (too many flavours to choose from).

As for staying faithful, my wife is still trying to get me to marry her younger sister, and we all live together. If I were to give in, would that fall into either your 'deviant' or 'unfaithful' categories?

How much sin sot is your wife asking you for to marry her younger sister?

[TommoPhysicist]

tommyphysicist, your wife is trying to pass you on to her younger sister.

and this is the woman you chose to have children to, to raise your children, good luck with that. lol.

They want me to have them both as wives, as in polygamy, a bit of a Lanna tradition (marrying sisters). Don't think I have the energy though, it's not as if I'm a young stud.

How much sin sot is your wife asking you for to marry her younger sister?

Nothing, she's slightly used, actually she would be adding her farm to ours and building us a bigger house.

Edited November 11, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Note also that as much as a Thai wife might have been brought up to be "understanding" about a husband who cheats (lies about his dalliances), she's also most likely be brought up to believe that we farang are better than that.

And don't forget about the ducks.

If you've not yet tied the knot - or even if you have - and this issue is of importance to you, I suggest you choose a propitious moment and broach the subject one night, give a few hypothetical situations and so on. The key is reassuring her that there is no threat to the long-term relationship being of far greater importance than the pretty young sex toys, and that you won't be squandering any more assets on those games than you would on some other hobby like golf. . .

You may very well be surprised that she takes a pragmatic attitude to the whole thing.

Or not, but at least then you know where things lie. . .

[Neeranam]

Why is everyone so concerned about foreign men cheating on Thai wives?

Much more likely to be the Thai wife cheating on the foreign man from what I've seen.

Not in my experience.

[cooked]

Why is everyone so concerned about foreign men cheating on Thai wives?

Much more likely to be the Thai wife cheating on the foreign man from what I've seen.

Not in my experience.

oh boy. I experience i every day and I am no Adonis.

[edwinchester]

Never cheated on anyone in my life and just because I'm now in Thailand see no reason to start.

I married my wife here because I love her and she is the best person I could ever have as a partner.

[Neeranam]

Some people cheat because they think that the grass may be greener.

Eventually you realise that the grass is never greener.

Some people, once they realise this, may still cheat cheat because of the crap that they get from their wife.

After a while they realise that all they are doing is getting double the crap!

If you see a bit of totty that you fancy having a fling with, by all means fantasise about it, but don't actually do it. 90% of the time the fantasy is much better than the reality.

The fantasy is much cheaper too.

[metisdead]

Off topic posts and replies have been removed.

[metisdead]

Honest it's on topic.

Not related to the situation in Thailand, therefore off topic.

[rics21]

It's the norm in Thailand for almost everyone.

Male or female, Thai or foreigner.

Guess u spend to much time in the bars.

Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Not in my experience.

Then you don't get out much.

Thai wives (of Thai husbands) aren't any less likely to have extramarital affairs than those from our countries back home, except perhaps New Zealanders. I would estimate that being married to a foreign husband would significantly increase the odds; think about it.

If you want your wife to be honest with you, make it clear to her that it's OK for her to have outside flings as long as it doesn't threaten your marriage. The difficult part is finding a way to say this without her interpreting it as you not loving her.

IMO most of the huge scenes of outrage about infidelity here are just demonstrations to the perpetrator just how much the victim loves him. Deep down she knows it's just human nature, possibly even a bit more so on the male side.

Edited November 11, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[chiangmaikelly]

I live in Thailand. I am an expat in Thailand. All of my heroes from famous historical figures to British Royals to famous actors, artists and architects to the founder of the civil rights movement and modern day martial arts were unfaithful to their wives. The most famous American Presidents and Generals who won WWII were unfaithful to their wives and these men influenced my early life and perception of good and evil. These perceptions did not change when I moved to Thailand. I think most expats would agree that many if not most heroes we were brought up with before we move to Thailand were judged on other criteria than fidelity.

[metisdead]

A flame post has been removed as well as some other off topic posts.

[rics21]

Its OK to stray if u don't get caught red handed. U can always deny if the wife get suspicious.

Its a part of life, u can't have lobster everyday right? Having prawns once in a while ain't going to kill you.

A short time with the call girls or a visit to the massage parlour is a part of the Thai life. That's y we moved here.

What's the main motivation that got most of us attracted to this place?

The scenery? The life style? Or the girls.

We are not unfaithful. I have no emotions towards the girls, its just purely sex.

Therefore straying once in a while is OK. As long as the wife doesn't know.

Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I think it's pretty obvious to everyone here that lifetime monogamy isn't a practical proposition for most red-blooded males of the species. And of course the redder the blood the more impossible.

However in this day and age it is possible to have your integrity too, and simply promise yourself to be honest with your partners.

But obviously not if you want to hold high political office in a country whose culture is dominated by a monotheistic religion.

Perhaps a moment of silence for General Petraeus is in order. . .

[chiangmaikelly]

I think it's pretty obvious to everyone here that lifetime monogamy isn't a practical proposition for most red-blooded males of the species. And of course the redder the blood the more impossible.

However in this day and age it is possible to have your integrity too, and simply promise yourself to be honest with your partners.

But obviously not if you want to hold high political office in a country whose culture is dominated by a monotheistic religion.

Perhaps a moment of silence for General Petraeus is in order. . .

It is interesting to note that there are brothels on Thai military bases for officers (Thais have a good understanding of men and fidelity IMO). Quite a difference between Thailand and the West in that respect. The photo in case you wondered where the word came from. General Joe Hooker.

Edited November 11, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[BookMan]

I think it's pretty obvious to everyone here that lifetime monogamy isn't a practical proposition for most red-blooded males of the species. And of course the redder the blood the more impossible.

However in this day and age it is possible to have your integrity too, and simply promise yourself to be honest with your partners.

But obviously not if you want to hold high political office in a country whose culture is dominated by a monotheistic religion.

Perhaps a moment of silence for General Petraeus is in order. . .

I can see how he lost it over Paula Broadwell. She has a certain thing about her.

No wonder the Russians used to do so well with their honeytraps.