When The Homeless Don't Want Help

[kblaze]

Ive just finished reading the story about the NYC cop who bought a 100$ pair of boots for a barefoot, homeless man during a cold evening. The man was spotted afterwards without the boots and when asked he said they were worth too much money to be wearing around, that he had hidden them.

Although he didn't refuse the boots, he isn't wearing them as the cop had hoped when he bought them.

This got me thinking about the 2-3 times ive done something nice for a homeless person in Thailand and been refused. Once was 2.5 years ago in Pai, in the north of Thailand. I was walking along the main street of Pai and there was a very dirty, homeless-looking man shuffling along the street. His pants were tore in half and he had no shoes. It was a bit cold and after watching him for a while I bought a pair of 100bt sandal things, so he could at least have something to protect the bottom of his feet. Well when I offered the sandals he just ignored me. I put them on the ground by his feet and he just kicked them softly out of his way. Some local vendors tried to get his attention about the sandals, but it was in vain; he just wasn't interested. Don't know if he was whacked out on something, drunk, or just didn't understand for whatever reason. Pretty discouraging experience.

The second time I can remember off-hand was outside of a 711 at sukhmvit 38. On my way into the 711 I saw a homeless guy I have seen hanging out in that area for years. For reasons unknown, I bought a mini sized chocolate milk for him, (he is very very skinny..maybe i thought it would be nourishing). When I handed it to him outside of the 711, he immediately threw it in the garbage can and pretty much ignored me.

These situations (and i think there have been others)can unfortunately really discourage one from helping people who seem to be in need on the street. I know there could be a thousand reasons why they would refuse to accept the things I got for them, perhaps he was lactose intolerant?

Anyone else had similar experiences?

[barefoot1988]

its a face issue thing

[besth]

Unfortunately it is as the OP says and the story about the shoeless guy in NY confirms. Some people choose that lifestyle, be it by real choice or mental illness.

There are also many of the "I'm hungry" "I'll give you food" "no, I want cash" type as well.

As they say, no good deed goes unpunished but that doesn't need to make people stop trying to make things better for others when possible.

[wamberal]

Some people are homeless because of mental health problems. Some people who are homeless for other reasons, develop mental health problems. I would not be surprised that the homeless behave in ways that are unexpected, even unpleasant, to our standards.

To the OP: continue being compassionate, and help those on the margins. There might be other, more productive ways to help.

Is there a homeless people charity in BKK?

[kawaiimomo]

I think barefoot has a right point. However there are also some homeless people (or at least they look like) begging and asking for money.

Not long ago I was walking with my gf in Ratchaprasong and she wanted to give money to a 4-5 years old girl beggar. I told her not to handle money as imo it encourages the parents (or whoever) to bring the girl there everyday instead of sending her to school. We bought the child some cake and drink and she was grateful.

[harrry]

Did you consider asking him what he needed before buying the chocolate milk. He may be lactose intolerant as many Thais are.

[kblaze]

Did you consider asking him what he needed before buying the chocolate milk. He may be lactose intolerant as many Thais are.

no, i didn't, and it is a possibility, but the way he threw it away instantly without much inspection leads me to believe he would have done the same if it was soy

[arthurwait]

6 main types of homeless people here IMO.

Begging gangs most likely of kidnapped chiildren. Mainly in tourist areas and only after money.

Mentally ill people whose don't have kids to help them or their families have given up or don't understand they are mentally ill and just think they have attitude problems. I doubt there is much if any Mental health service for the poor here.

Woman who turns up outside our business sits there banging a metal comb into her head and has attacked my MIL before who was about 74 at the time. She is quite obviously mentally ill.

Many people like this won't understand why you are helping them, plus those that are depressed that have given up.

People just plain on the make begging as they make much more than they would working. Whether they do actually go back to some sort of home or not.

Drunks only after money for their next bottle of whisky.

Those that just simply can't be bothered to work. Usually the same as above. The wife has offered a couple of homeless people here work, displaying no signs of mental illness. They just plain can't be bothered. One said he didn't have the time to come here to work although he lounged around here most the day and night and did 24 hours when I was stupid enough to give him food and money when I first moved here. Sitting there smirking.

And of course people who are homeless through lack of money.

You may only get genuine thanks from the last group if offering something to help that isn't cash.

[HeijoshinCool]

Twenty years ago in Florida, we pulled up at a red light, behind a car full of African-Americans. A scrawny white homeless guy was sitting on a bench. The black guys quite lovingly removed a just purchased KFC chicken breast, wrapped it in a napkin and handed it out the window. With smiles.

Now, if he didn't want it, the homeless guy probably should have said, "Hey, fellas, thanks but I'm a vegetarian."

Uh-uh. He took it, unwrapped it, spat on it, then threw it at the biggest car occupant, who could have been a defensive tackle.

Fact is, most "homeless" people are nuts, if not when they get on the street, within short order.

[HeijoshinCool]

Did you consider asking him what he needed before buying the chocolate milk. He may be lactose intolerant as many Thais are.

I hear this a lot on this forum, but it confuses me as to how darn much yoghurt, and yoghurt drinks, are sold in this country. Must be a lot of squirting taking place.

[Scully]

If I had been walking around Thailand for years without shoes I wouldn't bother with a pair of flip flops, and don't get me started on chocolate milk.

Your intentions were good but just not wanted.

[Heng]

A lot of people have a set routine and 'program.' Some folks if you give them $1, $10, $100k, a million or more... they'll find a way to turn it into drink, drugs, return the balance to zero or worse, or any number of things they are already predisposed to.

[harrry]

A lot of people have a set routine and 'program.' Some folks if you give them $1, $10, $100k, a million or more... they'll find a way to turn it into drink, drugs, return the balance to zero or worse, or any number of things they are already predisposed to.

And some will turn $10 INTO $1000000.

Mental illness is a problem in all societies and many people can only survive by following strict routines which others find strange.

[payak]

most are mentally ill.

the vast majority.