For Those That Have Children ....

[helicoptor]

or, "don't touch him, he has the shits"

I suppose that's doubley effective for keeping women away from hubby when you're out at a club too eh?

cv

[julie_f]

My nephew now 4 hates being touched by Thais. Hes half thai, half brit.

His dad was actually told by an employee at the mall bangkapi to keep an eye on him, as on average one child gets snatched each day from there. This was over a year ago so don't know what its like now

[JacknDanny]

My nephew now 4 hates being touched by Thais. Hes half thai, half brit.

His dad was actually told by an employee at the mall bangkapi to keep an eye on him, as on average one child gets snatched each day from there. This was over a year ago so don't know what its like now

I'm sorry, but I have never heard so much nonsense!!!!.

My son is 5, luk kreung, has had all sorts of attention from strangers since he was a baby, and still does now. There is NEVER anything malicious or untoward, it is always a loving act. I feel perfectly safe for the safety of my son, certainly more so than if I was in England.

The Thais love kids and the remark above is total nonsense. I have been here 7 years and never seen or heard or read anything as the above "story"

And my comment to those that do not like the attention, then choose to live somewhere else!!

[cnxpat]

My nephew now 4 hates being touched by Thais. Hes half thai, half brit.

His dad was actually told by an employee at the mall bangkapi to keep an eye on him, as on average one child gets snatched each day from there. This was over a year ago so don't know what its like now

I'm sorry, but I have never heard so much nonsense!!!!.

My son is 5, luk kreung, has had all sorts of attention from strangers since he was a baby, and still does now. There is NEVER anything malicious or untoward, it is always a loving act. I feel perfectly safe for the safety of my son, certainly more so than if I was in England.

The Thais love kids and the remark above is total nonsense. I have been here 7 years and never seen or heard or read anything as the above "story"

And my comment to those that do not like the attention, then choose to live somewhere else!!

the "choose to live somewhere else" ignoring ... I have a 3 yo most lovely kid, we're living deep down in the boonies in Isaan, and one of the local TEACHERS has just been telling my wife - as it's been school holidays - he enjoys to go to Cambodia because he can "have fun" with 12, 13 and 14 yo olds .... having a 14 yo daughter himself.

next time I see this head master, I will not be "supaap" I think ... I am sure :-)

so yes, be careful, we never had a pram or a strolling thing, we walk

[kenk3z]

To me it sounds like the kids getting this attention are seen as non-human objects.

Family is one thing, a stranger is quite another. It's OK to smile, wave, maybe a touch on the arm.

Anything else would get an action out of me to move the child away quickly.

I certainly wouldn't want my kid taken away in Asia, forced to work in the "industry".

kenk3z

Edited November 15, 2006 by kenk3z

[think_too_mut]

I have a 16 month old son who's half-Thai (but very light-skinned) who is constantly grabbed, touched, kissed, pointed at, talked about, etc, etc when we're out in public, e.g. shopping. I don't mind if it's just a wave, a game of peek-a-boo, or a comment on how cute he is .... but when he's grabbed, touched, taken out of his push-chair when my back is turned, or is being mobbed by people taking photos of him on their phones it really stresses me out, especially when I've already specifically told someone not to do it (shop assistants are the worst!). Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger, but other times I literally push the person away or keep walking at the same pace and run them over with the push chair (and then feel bad cos they weren't to know they were the 20th person that day to maul him). How do others cope with it? Does it drive you crazy or do you just accept it as part of the culture here?

OK, I'll say it first.

I have a 2 1/2 yr daughter, very adorable, she does draw attention but nobody has ever touched her unless she was already playing with them.

Could not believe this post. Showed it to my wife, neither could she.

It goes past the point of civilized bahivor. Thais are simply not monkeys as the post suggest.

Edited November 16, 2006 by think_too_mut

[leisurely]

Can i just say to the last poster, that it is not just a phenomenon that occurs in Thailand. Our eldest daughter was born in the middle east and attracted as much (if not more) attention there. It is in my opinion, just because the Thais and Arabs love children. Annoying for them though

[helicoptor]

I don't mind the attention my son gets at present (and we are still in the UK!) he is full farang with blonde hair.. but I will not tolerate anyone man-handling him without permission from me or his mum wherever we are, manners are universal.

[sylvafern]

Seeing as this topic has been brought back up ... my son is now just over 2 and he still gets lots of unwanted attention, although now he's bigger no one bothers with trying to get him out of his pushchair or anything like that. However, strangers still touch him, squeeze his cheek and sometimes try to kiss him. I'm surprised that this has never happened to 'think-too-mut's daughter as I do not know anyone that this doesn't happen to. (I am refering to farang kids and pale looking half-Thai kids here). My son screams 'no' or 'go away' to strangers that even just look at him which is horrible as he does this even to people that are being nice and polite.

I hate the 'go and live somewhere else' statement ..... especially when I started this thread asking others if they had the same problem and how they deal with it. I am not so shallow as to run away from the country and deny my child the right to know about his Thai heritage just because I don't like one aspect of the culture. It's a ridiculous statement that does not take into account the bigger picture and the millions of reasons why I am in Thailand and choose to stay. However, in saying that, I am currently considering a move away from Thailand for other reasons and when drawing up a list of pros and cons of moving, this is definitely on the pro list as I would love my son to be able to go out in public without being harrassed by strangers touching him all the time.

[Douggie Style]

It's fine, does the child good, except maybe for the kissing.

We stopped the kissing by telling them the babies hadn't had their immunization yet.

BTW: No offense, but the happiest kids I have ever seen come from an environment where they are treated as special, held, touched, spoken to by the whole village. From your post the impressions is you are the one objecting most...why is that?

[sylvafern]

I think you have misread my posts. My son does live in an environment where he is treated as special - he is in a daycare centre which is like a family and recieves a lot of love and attention from the people that care for him while I'm working, as well as from family and friends. On the occasions he gets to go to his father's village he loves recieving attention from his Thai family and extended relatives. When he has had enough of the attention he is passed back to me. This is a situation where he knows the people and this is absolutely fine .... you're right that this creates a well-rounded happy child.

What I am talking about is unwanted and inappropriate attention from complete and utter strangers that appear in his life for 10 seconds to pinch his cheek, kiss him, grab him and then walk off on their way never to be seen again. I object to it because it distresses my son and as a parent I don't like to see my son distressed and upset. Fair enough, I think.

[Douggie Style]

I think you have misread my posts. My son does live in an environment where he is treated as special - he is in a daycare centre which is like a family and recieves a lot of love and attention from the people that care for him while I'm working, as well as from family and friends. On the occasions he gets to go to his father's village he loves recieving attention from his Thai family and extended relatives. When he has had enough of the attention he is passed back to me. This is a situation where he knows the people and this is absolutely fine .... you're right that this creates a well-rounded happy child.

What I am talking about is unwanted and inappropriate attention from complete and utter strangers that appear in his life for 10 seconds to pinch his cheek, kiss him, grab him and then walk off on their way never to be seen again. I object to it because it distresses my son and as a parent I don't like to see my son distressed and upset. Fair enough, I think.

Well thanks for clarifying that, it does put a different perspective on the situation and apologies for selling you short.

So to answer your first post, if it was inappropriate attention, my trick was to say 'sorry sick' and make a few arm gestures around the throat, with a polite smile, this crossed over any cultural barriers.

A pram with a net is good, if not too hot.

[Unknown]

Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger

Are you American?

[sbk]

Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger

Are you American?

Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.

As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.

Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?

[JacknDanny]

Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger

Are you American?

Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.

As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.

Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?

Hope I am allowed to post on this forum, being male and all

I think the comments made really depend on the character of your child.

My son is now 5, and has constantly had attention since he was a baby. He didnt mind it, in fact he loved it. The only thing I worried about was when every Thai he met asked the same question "where is your mother?" (I am a single parent) and I thought it would upset him, but he just shrugged it off and says "bpai leow"

As for catching diseases fro someone pinching his cheek There is probably more chance of him catching something from someone sneezing near him when we are out shopping!!!!

[sbk]

Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger

Are you American?

Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.

As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.

Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?

Hope I am allowed to post on this forum, being male and all

I think the comments made really depend on the character of your child.

My son is now 5, and has constantly had attention since he was a baby. He didnt mind it, in fact he loved it. The only thing I worried about was when every Thai he met asked the same question "where is your mother?" (I am a single parent) and I thought it would upset him, but he just shrugged it off and says "bpai leow"

As for catching diseases fro someone pinching his cheek There is probably more chance of him catching something from someone sneezing near him when we are out shopping!!!!

You are quite literal minded, aren't you? That was exactly my point, she is out shopping and has strangers regularly trying to pick up her child, touch her child etc. A cheek pincher can just as easily sneeze right on your kid as someone else can, I guess was the point you entirely missed

And since you are so literal minded, you are in the "family forum", if you had paid attention to the location

[JacknDanny]

Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger

Are you American?

Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.

As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.

Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?

Hope I am allowed to post on this forum, being male and all

I think the comments made really depend on the character of your child.

My son is now 5, and has constantly had attention since he was a baby. He didnt mind it, in fact he loved it. The only thing I worried about was when every Thai he met asked the same question "where is your mother?" (I am a single parent) and I thought it would upset him, but he just shrugged it off and says "bpai leow"

As for catching diseases fro someone pinching his cheek There is probably more chance of him catching something from someone sneezing near him when we are out shopping!!!!

You are quite literal minded, aren't you? That was exactly my point, she is out shopping and has strangers regularly trying to pick up her child, touch her child etc. A cheek pincher can just as easily sneeze right on your kid as someone else can, I guess was the point you entirely missed

And since you are so literal minded, you are in the "family forum", if you had paid attention to the location

No I didnt miss the point. I am using your point to make a point. If you were to be constantly worried about your child catching a disease, then you would never leave your house!!

You dont have to be a cheek pincher in order to sneeze!!

[sbk]

No, I would leave my house, I just wouldn't let strangers manhandle my kid all the time

[JacknDanny]

No, I would leave my house, I just wouldn't let strangers manhandle my kid all the time

Lets just agree to differ. Just like I am not qualified to make comments on the ladies forum as I am not a lady. You are not a parent. The thread did say " For those that have children........"

[sbk]

You obviously have some issues here, I clearly stated in the Ladies forum that men's opinions were welcome but if you can't be polite about it then don't post --if you can't get your head around that then I suggest you refrain from commenting, hmm?

And frankly, one doesn't need to be a parent to understand how it would feel to be constantly manhandled, I was a child once, remember.

So, instead of engaging in this mindless tit for tat with you, lets just agree to disagree and you can refrain from judgement of myself or sylvafern for her concerns.

[k2bikerider]

My wife told them that, they could touch but not to hold because if there baby is in a strangers arms, she would cry alot and would make it hard to calm the baby down. after she told them this, they wouldn't dare to get the baby out of the stroller.

I have a 16 month old son who's half-Thai (but very light-skinned) who is constantly grabbed, touched, kissed, pointed at, talked about, etc, etc when we're out in public, e.g. shopping. I don't mind if it's just a wave, a game of peek-a-boo, or a comment on how cute he is .... but when he's grabbed, touched, taken out of his push-chair when my back is turned, or is being mobbed by people taking photos of him on their phones it really stresses me out, especially when I've already specifically told someone not to do it (shop assistants are the worst!). Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger, but other times I literally push the person away or keep walking at the same pace and run them over with the push chair (and then feel bad cos they weren't to know they were the 20th person that day to maul him). How do others cope with it? Does it drive you crazy or do you just accept it as part of the culture here?

[Thaiboxer]

Lots of folks want to touch/play with our son while we're out shopping. I can't remember anybody taking any photos though. I would be wary about letting a stranger carry your kid around as sometimes they'll just run off with him or her. This happens more frequently with Thai kids but you should still keep your guard up.

[GuestHouse]

We have never allowed stangers to mess with our children in the way that is common in Thailand - But let me clarify 'Common'.

Thais do this to foreign kids. They do not do this to the children of other Thais they do not know.

Putting asside disease, there is an issue about establishing the right of a child to its own privacy in its own body.

When our daughter was young we caught one woman cutting a curl of blond hair off my daughter's head! Pinching, tickling, picking the children up was obviously more the norm, my response, our response was to take care of our children first and care about Thai sensibilities second.

I treat any stanger who wants to mess with our kids exactly the same, no matter who they are (Thai or not).

They do so at their perril.

I've slapped hands, pinched people back, and in that extreme case where we caught a woman cutting a blond curl off my daughter's head, I took the scissors off her and cut a chunk out of her own hair.

Thais don't do this to the children of other Thais they don't know, and to put it in context. If they came across a wealthy Thai and his family, the would not even dare go near the children, let alone mess with them.

Edited November 19, 2006 by GuestHouse

[mpdkorat]

My daughter used to get this as well, although the Thai's were more reluctant when me (farang) was around, but they never picked her up without asking first, my wife444444444444 didn't like it to much, she was worried about catching any germs etc, but was too polite to object strongly, would usually try to make an excuse, strangly enough it was my daughter who would get fed up first and start to resist, they get the message then. Overall I didn't like her to get too much attention, although the Thai's only meant well, I didn't want my daughter thinking she was too beautiful or special, now she's older it happens less and hasn't affected her, so I suppose no harm done.

I do not mind the interest, but my son, who in three weeks time will be a year old, is just starting to object. At my local market I would leave him with a well known trusted vender and I would go off and do the shopping. Now he refuses to stay, so I have to carry him round now. The joys of fatherhood.

I have never had anyone try to pinch my son or cut off his hair, that would certainly cause me to react. Sometimes when you are in a hurry it is

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Edited November 19, 2006 by mpdkorat

[sylvafern]

We have never allowed stangers to mess with our children in the way that is common in Thailand - But let me clarify 'Common'.

Thais do this to foreign kids. They do not do this to the children of other Thais they do not know.

Putting asside disease, there is an issue about establishing the right of a child to its own privacy in its own body.

When our daughter was young we caught one woman cutting a curl of blond hair off my daughter's head! Pinching, tickling, picking the children up was obviously more the norm, my response, our response was to take care of our children first and care about Thai sensibilities second.

I treat any stanger who wants to mess with our kids exactly the same, no matter who they are (Thai or not).

They do so at their perril.

I've slapped hands, pinched people back, and in that extreme case where we caught a woman cutting a blond curl off my daughter's head, I took the scissors off her and cut a chunk out of her own hair.

Thais don't do this to the children of other Thais they don't know, and to put it in context. If they came across a wealthy Thai and his family, the would not even dare go near the children, let alone mess with them.

Thanks for adding your comments - it's exactly how I feel and I have been known to do the same as you and do the same behavior back to the person so they know exactly what it feels like. However, after doing so I feel guilty and worry that I'm not exactly setting a good example for my son!

[think_too_mut]

I am sorry to rain on the parade.

The original post is a rubbish, things like that might happen, if accumulated accross the entire farang comunity.

Thais taking up a child from it's prem? Give me a break. Bullshit.

Could be, a mother too proud of her baby telling us some unbelievable stories. Or having her own problems.

I am surprised that so many posters took the bite.

Edited November 20, 2006 by think_too_mut

[Boo]

Just becuase you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Enough people have commented on similar happenings to their children too. Are they all liars! what a wally

[think_too_mut]

I want to apologize for bad words.

What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.

Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.

[Douggie Style]

I want to apologize for bad words.

What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.

Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.

Hi think_too_mut (good name!), my wife who is Thai constantly warns me about our child being abducted, mostly in the MBK mall.

In all earnestness, she has told me this has occurred, kids have simply been taken, sold to a waiting customer!

Now she is a bit of a trickster, but she seems so serious, I cannot work out if this is her cunning plan to make sure my eyes are glued to little pugsy or if this has really occurred in the past?

[think_too_mut]

I want to apologize for bad words.

What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.

Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.

Hi think_too_mut (good name!), my wife who is Thai constantly warns me about our child being abducted, mostly in the MBK mall.

In all earnestness, she has told me this has occurred, kids have simply been taken, sold to a waiting customer!

Now she is a bit of a trickster, but she seems so serious, I cannot work out if this is her cunning plan to make sure my eyes are glued to little pugsy or if this has really occurred in the past?

My wife, who is Thai, tells me, more often than not people ask her if it is a good money to look after a farang baby. They don't realize (at the first sight) that she is the mother.

That thought (children being abducted) has never occurred to us. I understand it's very disturbing. Hope we are both (+ your wife) wrong in that regard.