The Apocalypse As It Happens - Live Reports

[cdnvic]

Thaivisa's news team will be monitoring the end of the world as it unfolds over the next few hours. Stay tuned as reports roll in.

Sydney (APS) – The predicted apocalypse opened with a series of loud screams as Australians discovered that The Ashes, the Rugby World Cup, and Super Rugby Trophies were missing from their rightful place. As the nation erupted in a panic, Prime Minister Gillard addressed the nation on all networks to remind them that the Ashes had simply been lent to the English for a year, and there was no need to panic.

In an effort to bring calm to their adopted home, Kiwis all over Australia streamed out of benefits offices to assure locals that the rugby trophies were being held securely in a building on Hinemoa Street in Wellington. One was overheard explaing “Right near where Phar Lap was born...”

Relieved Aussies then playfully chased the Kiwis toward the Tasman with pitchforks, and a good time was had by all.

Worried New Zealand Prime Minister John Key dispatched the Royal New Zealand Navy on a rescue mission, though at press time a lack of oars was said to be hampering this effort.

[cdnvic]

Tokyo (NKH) – As dawn arrived in the land of the rising sun, the earth shook, the seas boiled in anger, and the air was full of loud noises, and bright flashes.

Local doomsday prophet Hiroshi Sokitumi says that although he's disappointed that what he predicted to be the end of the world turned out to be just another normal day, he is more worried about his credit card companies, which he never expected to get a January bill from. “There are many depraved vending machines in my neighbourhood.” he explained, “I thought it a good idea to research them before the world ended. You know... for academic reasons”

[SamMunich]

A plane of the German airline Air Berlin developed problems and had to return to Phuket on Thursday. Flight No AB7425 returned, after an engine was said to have been on fire and the fire had spread to the wing. When the plane landed in Phuket one or more of the tires exploded. All passengers were unharmed and brought to Phuket hotels to wait for a new plane to bring them back. The plane was scheduled to fly from Phuket to Abu Dhabi and then on to Berlin Tegel airport.

Local research into if and how this is related to the Apocalypse are still in the early stage, which is why none of the two English newspapers in Thailand reported this incident,- not even on their respective web site.

"Aviation Herald" and the Phuket News" are said to have further reports...

[noob7]

The Korean raider of the apocalypse is close to the final click!

991,421,889, only 8.578.111 more to go

[Squigy]

A chicken was found dead on an upper Isaan village road in suspicious circumstances. Local police and "others" are researching into how this might affect the ending of village life as we know it! Chicken was moved to a temple like building for further analysis.

[Bwanatickey]

Listening to BBC radio 4 today at 5pm newsreport in U.K . Just before the news ended as it usually does at 6pm. They played a highly secret tape,that is only allowed to be broadcast at the end of the world.Producers where breaking the strict rules regarding the playing of this recording.But the BBC would not be there anymore so what.

The announcer did try to explain that the Myan calender ended tomorrow,hence the prediction "This is the end". As the Myans where unable to predict their own extinction,non where available for comment.

[cdnvic]

London (Daily Post) – Flaming meteors began landing all over the countryside as the last day in human history began as predicted. The four horsemen rode through the skies spreading fear and chaos across the land. Soon however, a dispute over jurisdiction between Satan and Rupert Murdoch, who up until now had enjoyed a smooth working relationship, threatened to derail the whole operation.

By noon the flaming meteors were falling harmlessly in Ireland, and the horsemen had settled into a local pub in Aberdeen where locals took little notice of them. It seemed like the whole thing was a bust. Crowds surged around parliament, where the UK Independence Party demanded to know why riders from hell were spreading destruction when there were already British people perfectly capable of lighting the country on fire.

We now leave our coverage of the apocalypse in order to bring you up to the minute coverage of the Duchess of Cambridge's tummy rumbles.

[Credo]

I was listening to Fox News and it was predicting that if Obama continues as president the World will end.

[Moruya]

Pakkret is definitely a few degrees cooler this morning.

The ice age is coming,

The sun's zooming in,

Meltdown expected,

The wheat is growing thin.

I was going to head back to London but I'm worried about the meteors.

[webfact]

The last place on Earth, and a lucky few ready for lift-off

Henry Samuel in Bugarach

Apocalypse now - or at 10.11pm to be precise

BUGARACH, France: -- If the legend is true and the sleepy southern French town of Bugarach is the only place standing after the apocalypse, the Earth will be populated by 150 policemen, some on horseback, 250 frustrated journalists and 198 bewildered villagers.

There is a hole the other side of the summit, about knee height, and we will sit in it. If the passage opens we will pass into another dimension

A global internet conspiracy theory suggests that this village, with its curious "upside down" mountain, offers protection against the end of the world supposedly predicted by the Mayan calendar for approximately 10.11pm (AEDT) today.

The theory goes that the mountain is a vast underground car park for UFOs, and that only those within spitting distance stand a chance of jumping on board.

Yesterday afternoon intergalactic hitch hikers were few and far between, and tempers were fraying among reporters flown in from as far as China in the hunt for elusive esoterics. "Beam me up froggy," sighed one British journalist.

Any true believers bold enough to try to tackle the 1230-metre climb to the peak of Pic de Bugarach in the heavy drizzle had to get past cohorts of police stationed in roadblocks around the village. Only visitors with press or village passes were allowed through. Once inside the police cordon, the route to the top remained equally daunting, with Le Pic protected by an elite gendarme mountain unit, while another team of police potholers scoured its myriad caverns to rescue any hapless New Agers lost underground. [more…]

Full story: http://www.smh.com.a...1221-2bqdc.html

-- The Sydney Morning Herald 2012-12-21

[sjjmmi]

Opps still alive anyone else still here

[Guest]

The time is not yet. Let's be precise on this important moment in the history. Mayans were scientists who's year started on winter solstice.

The exact moment for this is today 11:12 UT. That would be 18:12 in Thailand.

[draftvader]

The time is not yet. Let's be precise on this important moment in the history. Mayans were scientists who's year started on winter solstice.

The exact moment for this is today 11:12 UT. That would be 18:12 in Thailand.

Not too sure that the Mayans were at GMT?

[Guest]

The time is not yet. Let's be precise on this important moment in the history. Mayans were scientists who's year started on winter solstice.

The exact moment for this is today 11:12 UT. That would be 18:12 in Thailand.

Not too sure that the Mayans were at GMT?

They did not have that yet. That's the time when the sun in at it's southernmost point on the earth. Early morning in Maya land.

[harrry]

If as a few heretics believe the world does survive after the fated moment may we interest people in a new Calandar to replace the Mayan. The new ThaiVisa calendar available in Downloads gives everyone a one year extension and there is no queing and needing numerous photocopies for it.

[Jai Dee]

[Curt1591]

What has really amazed me is that I have seen no promotions, whatsoever, for any pubs throwing an "Apocalypse Party"!

[dave2]

re.

anyone else still here

yes ... dave2 and doi suthep in chiang mai are still here

and im off to the un irish for my breakfast later : )

dave2 .... doi suthep pic taken an hour ago

[Swiss1960]

Bern / Zurich (Switzerland) / SDA: Doomsday efforts were well underway shortly after midnight GMT+2 in Switzerland, as Mrs. Holle (God's envoy for white Christmas) decided to drown the country with huge snowfall.

However, the Swiss Army and the Swiss Road Safety Agencies, supported by local snowphlough drivers all over Switzerland, did fight the effort of Mrs. Holle and kept the snow off all main highways, railroads and main streets.

Mr. Peter Mueller, spokesman of the Swiss Federal Government said at 01:00 Swiss time: "As Mrs. Holle had decided to ignore all the democratic structures of Switzerland and neither entered a petition in the Swiss Federal Parliament not did she seek a popular vote for joining Doomsday, the Swiss Government has decided to fight her efforts and has ordered the "best Army of the world" (quote from Mr. Ueli Maurer, Swiss Defense Minister) to do the best to stop Doomsday from happening here."

It will be well noted around the world, that the Swiss are independent and neutral and will never join Doomsday events, neither today nor in all upcoming events, should the organizers not follow our democratic processes. It will also be noted that all the money being placed in Swiss banks is well safe from any Doomsday efforts from the Gods to be

[OzMick]

What has really amazed me is that I have seen no promotions, whatsoever, for any pubs throwing an "Apocalypse Party"!

If a bar holds an Apocalypse Party would they let you run a tab?

[Moruya]

What has really amazed me is that I have seen no promotions, whatsoever, for any pubs throwing an "Apocalypse Party"!

If a bar holds an Apocalypse Party would they let you run a tab?

If the credit card company allows it

[Tywais]

Due to daylight savings time, the Apocalypse will be delayed by 1 hour in certain countries.

[chiang mai]

If the world is really going to end, why are people panick buying candles and the like?

[webfact]

I have received an image from a Thaivisa member

taken from an oil rig in the Pacific Ocean

[Guest]

If the world is really going to end, why are people panick buying candles and the like?

It's better to keep the people shopping and busy. Otherwise after 9 months we are going to going to have generation morons who's genes are not the best human race can offer..

Then again, candles and closed bunker.. there is no good way out of this!

[ballpoint]

Bangkok:

The DSI has announced that they are adding the murder of 7 billion people to charges already filed against former Thai PM Abhisit Vejjajiva, as they have definite proof that he is responsible for the end of the world.

[Skywalker69]

NASA says the World wont end.

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

[kevjohn]

If as a few heretics believe the world does survive after the fated moment may we interest people in a new Calandar to replace the Mayan. The new ThaiVisa calendar available in Downloads gives everyone a one year extension and there is no queing and needing numerous photocopies for it.

Thanks for that harrry. I downloaded the calendar twice, so does that give me two years extension?

[chiang mai]

If the world is really going to end, why are people panick buying candles and the like?

It's better to keep the people shopping and busy. Otherwise after 9 months we are going to going to have generation morons who's genes are not the best human race can offer..

Then again, candles and closed bunker.. there is no good way out of this!

Perhaps better to broadcast endless repeats of Coronation Street, Brookside and As the World Turns thereby maintaining the status quo - and viewer statistics last night were, Coronation Street 36 million, End of the World 34,

[Moruya]

I have received an image from a Thaivisa member

taken from an oil rig in the Pacific Ocean

Red Smurf?