ray35ty Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Hello I have a question. Say if you are in a relationship and say your wife.s mother dies. As a foreigner are we supposed to pay. How much is it. The reason why I ask is my gf mum is gravely ill and no one in her family have money... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Ask them what they would do if you weren't there. Sure you'll be asked for a contribution ... maybe for the bill 100% This then is a test of how to decline politely. If you are the eldest and most financially viable then your contribution could be the largest. But don't be a sucker for the whole bill ... no matter how many tears and sulks.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Pay for what, the hospital bill or the funeral? No you are not expected to pay. Funerals can be had from as cheap as 20k, 50k will get a decent one. If you are seen as a buffalo you may get hit with a bill of 200k for nothing more than a 3 day piss up. Tell the family you will match what they contribute. What do they want a funeral, or an excuse to indulge in gaining some face? Depending on the answers you get, it may give an indication of whether its worth continuing the relationship with the girl. Will you be expected to pay for everything every time some family member has a problem? If you are talking about upcountry (Issan) many of these villagers have a local insurance policy, suggest you ask about prakan cheewit (life insurance), if you dont ask they may not tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 "As a foreigner are we supposed to pay" What do you think, why you are here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray35ty Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 I am in a relationship now. I didnt think it would happen but it did. The girl i stay with her mum lives alone and has no other family except her daughter. So im like mmmmmm... Better get some input into knowing how much to pay up when she does die... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripstanley Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 In our village residents agree to pay so much every time a person dies. This can be 100, 200 or 300 baht. When someone from your family dies then the family receives money from the other villagers. Depending how much you contribute depends how much you receive. Every time there is a death invoices appear showing how much your family owes. I can only comment on what happens in our village. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 The reason why I ask is my gf mum is gravely ill and no one in her family have money... her mum lives alone and has no other family except her daughter. Well which one is it? Are you saying the mother has no brothers and sisters? Define girlfriend? Is this a girl you pay money to each month to live with you, or a girl who has a job and pays her way? If me, give the girl 5,000 baht, thats enough for a return ticket upcountry, enough to live on for a week and money left over to contribute to a funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 A funeral in Thailand is greatly shared by the community. In the first place the family, but also the other villagers will come and donate money, food and drinks for the funeral. I would have no problem to contribute in the situation of the OP, and also contribute when close family members of good Thai friends die. The tricky question is how much. That depends on your wealth and relationship with the (family of) the deceased. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray35ty Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 The reason why I ask is my gf mum is gravely ill and no one in her family have money... her mum lives alone and has no other family except her daughter. Well which one is it? Are you saying the mother has no brothers and sisters? Yes her mother has a sister. Who is older than her mum Define girlfriend? Is this a girl you pay money to each month to live with you, or a girl who has a job and pays her way? Yes this is a girl that i pay each month to live with me. If me, give the girl 5,000 baht, thats enough for a return ticket upcountry, enough to live on for a week and money left over to contribute to a funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 The reason why I ask is my gf mum is gravely ill and no one in her family have money... her mum lives alone and has no other family except her daughter. Well which one is it? Are you saying the mother has no brothers and sisters? Yes her mother has a sister. Who is older than her mum Define girlfriend? Is this a girl you pay money to each month to live with you, or a girl who has a job and pays her way? Yes this is a girl that i pay each month to live with me. If me, give the girl 5,000 baht, thats enough for a return ticket upcountry, enough to live on for a week and money left over to contribute to a funeral. Your arrangement with the girl is no concern of mine, in the case you mentioned refer to this, If me, give the girl 5,000 baht, thats enough for a return ticket upcountry, enough to live on for a week and money left over to contribute to a funeral. I strongly urge you not to go upcountry, let the girl go on her own, she is Thai and knows how to handle these situations. Not your wife not your problem. The Thais have a saying, not my family not my problem, thats exactly the case here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldsailor35 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When a Buddhist family member dies, how long does it normally take before the cremation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When a Buddhist family member dies, how long does it normally take before the cremation. Depends on the importance of the person. Usually carried out with in one week of death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I would ask her if she has an insurance policy for this event, many do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray35ty Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 she says no. is it too late now. lol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) "As a foreigner are we supposed to pay" What do you think, why you are here? yeah good 1.Tomorrows another day, get up on the other side. Edited December 30, 2012 by krisb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) In our village residents agree to pay so much every time a person dies. This can be 100, 200 or 300 baht. When someone from your family dies then the family receives money from the other villagers. Depending how much you contribute depends how much you receive. Every time there is a death invoices appear showing how much your family owes. I can only comment on what happens in our village. Same in our village. Everyone helps out with a little bit.Op, pay what YOU feels right. Your certainly not obliged to fork out thousands. How strong is your relationship with your gf and her mum would would help me in a decision. I wouldnt pay for a big booze up for everyone thats for sure. Good luck with it all mate, and best wishes to you and your gf in this difficult time. Edited December 30, 2012 by krisb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Sure, pay, just chalk it up as an extra rent payment. I mean the fact you say you pay for a girl to stay with you sounds more like pay to play then a real relation. I could be wrong of course but if i am not.. why pay extra then. Wifes father died.. i paid just a lil, others paid too and the people visiting paid plus there was a small inheritance that was used for the occasion. It all depends on so many things, but you know best what kind of situation you are in. Edited December 30, 2012 by robblok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marstons Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I think i would put a max 5000 limit and stay away from the event. Most last a week and thats food and drinks provided for the duration. Also the face issue and they can try and make them a big event to show the usual look how rich we are. Coffins can be the donted free ones for such events. The cheapest i saw was a farang and his loyal wife of 7 years would not pay for a coffin, had a dispute in front of the 20 odd mourners with the monks about how many robes to provide. Mourners got water provided by another Thai family, monks got a bottle of soya milk each. So that would have been done for 5k easily. He died Wednesday afternoon, she was at German Embassey after his pension Thursday and burnt him on the Friday. On the side of the coffin written donated by the people of Thailand. As said if you were not on the scene things would go ahead anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prakhonchai nick Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Don't forget that normally there is another "event" in 100 days , known in parts of Isaan as the "bone party". This is when the bones/ashes are interred in the Wat, and are usually accompanied by a big party, often with music, dancing girls and likhae. Sad really that the deceased misses out on all the fun! By sheer coincidence we have a "bone party" in my village today and tomorrow. Loud music from 4.30am on the first day, and tomorrow there will be likhae all night long. All being paid for by out of town family members.who just come, disturb the peace, then bugger off again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 "As a foreigner are we supposed to pay" What do you think, why you are here? yeah good 1.Tomorrows another day, get up on the other side. Let Thais pay for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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