Responding To Thais In Retail Who Diss You In Thai To A Coworker Right In Front Of You

[raro]

Mrs raro just suggested to walk straight away to the staff and ask what the eff is going on.

[Litlos]

So why did she go bright red and hide behind the counter when I repeated it? I think I got the right meaning or intention first time

Cheers

Edited January 28, 2013 by Litlos

[kurnell]

This thread is a giant load of <deleted>. Everyone admitting that they don't understand Thai yet insisting that their interpretation of what some lowly local says is somehow an insult??? Am I missing something here?

[Terry Newman]

I have been so disgusted in Phuket with this insulting tripe right at my face, I turned on my phone, and recorded them discreatle, then in Thai told them as I was walking out that I am putting it on Youtube and their boss will be calling them tonight for sure.

The look on their face was priceless.

[scotto]

Yep tell them "kway oi"

and walk straight out of the shop!

thats what i do maybe a bit harsh but they get the message.

[rgs2001uk]

This thread is a giant load of <deleted>. Everyone admitting that they don't understand Thai yet insisting that their interpretation of what some lowly local says is somehow an insult??? Am I missing something here?

Eh yes, because they wouldnt try that shit with another Thai.

If it was me, I would have said, put mai pot, mai ao laew.

Cant be bothered writing the whole story, Somcahi found out to his cost a couple of weeks ago, dont piss off your bosses sister.

Effin lyin litttle c**t wasnt so gobby when the wifes brother appeared and waied both of us, I think it was then a 20 watt light bulb went on in his head.

Needless to say he was heading back to Nakon Nowhere the same night.

[rgs2001uk]

I don't believe I usually get this wrong. I do agree be careful about overreacting. It isn't worth it. People who act like that aren't worth it.

Speaking of related rare occurrences, once in a blue moon I get a case "Expat Breakdown" and let loose with some correct but "dangerous" comments to a Thai about how badly they are doing their job. I did a few weeks ago to a pharmacist who was shockingly lazy and incompetent in his "efforts" to help me with a basic request. So I said some things to him that were truthful but not wise to say. This guy reacted with some stunning insults of me to his coworker. In THAT case (very rare) I realized I deserved it and couldn't really blame him. I even made an effort to apologize but of course he'll remember me for life as a very bad man. Yes I still think the guy was shockingly bad at his job but we're not supposed to ever SAY that to a Thai.

Surely I can't be the only one who occasionally experiences a flareup of Expat Breakdown?!?

Nice one, even I havent managed this, the respest o meter just clicked over another notch.

How to make friends and influence people, cause a Thai guy to lose face, not only lose face, but to lose it infront of a co-worker, double bonus point.

[stiggy]

I wouldn't insult them, if you have misread the situation or misheard you will look like a <deleted>.

Try to learn some polite phrases add Khup at end, Thais generally have more respect if your polite, and will be even more humble as opposed to you being confrontational

Khor Todt : Excuse me

Pud E tee : Say again

Besides these two basic sayings, theres loads of polite ways in Thai to show your unhappy and keep you looking cool and collected, and not like some hot head .

Arai Wai as suggested is actually pretty rude to strangers in a social situation.

You pretty much answered your own question to start with, Learn some basic Thai and use it.

All the staring etc will just make you look silly, and eventually you will get it so wrong your end up in a shitty situation that quickly escalates over nothing.

Also remember they are shop staff bored out of there wits, you as the foreigner are possibly the only source of entertainment they may get all day.

Edited January 28, 2013 by stiggy

[jbrain]

How to respond to this kind of rude behavior?

I usually tell them in Thai that I can understand their language but they for sure can't understand mine, I'm not English native.

Then give them a skin full of the worst words that are known to me, in my native language.

[Ulysses G.]

the respest o meter

More like the pest meter from reading the OP.

[rgs2001uk]

the respest o meter

More like the pest meter from reading the OP.

Tend to agree, but his food reviews are worth reading.

The poster Stiggy pretty much nails it, it could have been two girls bored out their skulls having a laugh, not at the OPs expense but just to break the monotiny of a boring day, there may even and probably was an element of truth involed, this farang cant make up his mind, oh look at the big feet of the farang, etc etc.

In a language where the tone can change the whole concept hows does he know he actually heard what was being said.

Khao khao, are we talking white rice, or he enters?

[Jingthing]

Well, bought me some shoes tonight.

Had the good fortune of encountering a reasonable salesman at the same place that had a product that I wanted.

He was all over the concept of needing to try on different sizes.

As usual, I am kind of BETWEEN sizes so it takes some consideration to decide on the best option.

The only problem started when after about 10 minutes and I hadn't finalized the sale yet (was still considering between two sizes) it's like he had been trained if they don't buy in 10 minutes, it's over. It was weird. I'm sure he thought I wouldn't buy but I was totally going to buy all along. Happily he didn't resort to insulting me UNTIL I left and then I wouldn't care. When I indicated the sale had been made, he looked totally shocked. Anyway ...

You know you lot can diss me all you want, I DO know with good confidence when people are OBVIOUSLY insulting me right in the front of me and if you don't, that's kind of YOUR problem. This case was NOT subtle and you did NOT need to speak a word of Thai to get it. Have all the fun you want. This is a reason a lot of people are AFRAID to post real life threads like this, they open themselves to abuse from the chattering class peanut gallery. Living in Pattaya, the reality is we've got a lot not very nice Thai people servicing the tourists for obvious reasons. It's NOT a polite town in the tourist areas, Thai speaking or not, so you can Khrap and Khor Todt till the cows come home, a lot of these locals are totally incorrigible. Yes, I don't have to live here, but I do, and part of living here is coping with the surliness.

BTW, keeping with the theme of pharmacists with questionable competence I had ANOTHER interesting encounter with a pharmacist recently. This one was less dramatic, but still pretty dramatic (for him). I went in there to a famous brand place and the pharmacist was dressed like one of the top level type pharmacists (the type that gives advice) and he was fluent in English. So I ask for what he has in antibacterial creams for a minor WOUND and he pulls up METROGEL. I was pretty amazed because I am well acquainted with Metrogel and it is indicated for treatment of Rosacea, a red skin condition a lot of white people get. In fact, right there on the box, the purpose for Rosacea was clearly written. Well so I asked this guy, do you know this medication is for Rosacea and do you know what Rosacea is? Remember I asked before about a minor WOUND. So this guy went all Thai soap opera. He instantly became "ill" and starting snorting on one of those nose inhalers and announced he could not even speak one word now about anything and also kind of looked like he was going to faint. This was in response to asking about Rosacea. You've got to laugh sometimes ...

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[robblok]

I wouldn't insult them, if you have misread the situation or misheard you will look like a <deleted>.

Try to learn some polite phrases add Khup at end, Thais generally have more respect if your polite, and will be even more humble as opposed to you being confrontational

Khor Todt : Excuse me

Pud E tee : Say again

Besides these two basic sayings, theres loads of polite ways in Thai to show your unhappy and keep you looking cool and collected, and not like some hot head .

Arai Wai as suggested is actually pretty rude to strangers in a social situation.

You pretty much answered your own question to start with, Learn some basic Thai and use it.

All the staring etc will just make you look silly, and eventually you will get it so wrong your end up in a shitty situation that quickly escalates over nothing.

Also remember they are shop staff bored out of there wits, you as the foreigner are possibly the only source of entertainment they may get all day.

I would use the arai wa for sure if i was sure they were taking the piss. If they are not polite with me why should i be with them. I'm a client but i would make sure that what i heard was an insult.

[Jingthing]

...

All the staring etc will just make you look silly, and eventually you will get it so wrong your end up in a shitty situation that quickly escalates over nothing.

...

No it won't! Nothing is going to escalate to violence in a shopping mall over some staring. If you're talking on the streets or with baht bus drivers, you'd have a better point. You've got to know where you're at (and not be DRUNK).

[OxfordWill]

I understand how you feel Jingthing, I honestly cannot stand not knowing for sure what is being said around me. I am a control freak in a way. So, I quickly learned to understand as best I could.. might be the right solution for you too. One thing I do notice is that, paranoia from this situation often leads to thinking one is always the topic of conversation, when often we are largely ignored. These days it is rare indeed that I ever think someone is insulting me and I wonder if that is related to the fact I now speak Thai as well as most people in service roles.

Edited January 28, 2013 by OxfordWill

[Jingthing]

I understand how you feel Jingthing, I honestly cannot stand not knowing for sure what is being said around me. I am a control freak in a way. So, I quickly learned to understand as best I could.. might be the right solution for you too. One thing I do notice is that, paranoia from this situation often leads to thinking one is always the topic of conversation, when often we are largely ignored. These days it is rare indeed that I ever think someone is insulting me and I wonder if that is related to the fact I now speak Thai as well as most people in service roles.

You sound like a nice guy but after reading your post I don't really think you understand how I feel. In some cases, I have NO DOUBT whatsoever the talk is about me, especially in the CONTEXT of how it happens. If it was a grey area and I wasn't confident I doubt I would feel like reacting at all. You might think that is foolish but I don't. This has nothing to do with being frustrated about not understanding every word. I am not frustrated by that. Its projection from you to think I do. Maybe you think I SHOULD care but I don't really care. Just saying. I am well aware we are often ignored and not seen as actual full humans, but that's kind of another matter.

An issue with rude salespeople that is related is when the salesperson DIRECTLY insults you to your face in Thai and/or English if you don't buy something and behave like a stupid tourist who will buy anything even if it doesn't fit. A classic example of this was a time I was looking for some short pants and the guy didn't have my larger size but he did have these stretchy pants which were way too small but he demonstrated how they could be stretched far out so I should buy them. I didn't agree and then he lost it with the insults. Yeah, tell me being polite would prevent situations like that, yeah, sure.

P.S.: Maybe this should be in the Pattaya forum. I think locals there would understand about the LOW quality and really bad attitude of so many of the sales people here.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[sbk]

Seems all rather pointless, if you know you can avoid hassle and being treated like a tourist by speaking even rudimentary Thai then why complain when you get hassle and get treated like a tourist when you choose not to speak Thai?

So you're saying that being made fun of in your presence by people who assume you don't understand what's being said is being treated like a tourist? Remind me never to visit where you're from.

I come from a city that has tons of tourists and I would never do that even if I had reason to believe that they didn't understand what I said. It's not polite and it's just not right.

I don't know but thanks so much for telling me what I just said. Cheers for that, I never even knew my own mind until you told me what I was saying.

[thenoilif]

I have been so disgusted in Phuket with this insulting tripe right at my face, I turned on my phone, and recorded them discreatle, then in Thai told them as I was walking out that I am putting it on Youtube and their boss will be calling them tonight for sure.

The look on their face was priceless.

Wow, seems like a lot of effort to get one up on some poorly paid retail sales clerk. Would you go through the same effort to get someone in the same position who treated you so poorly in your home country?

I don't know guys, maybe it's just me but I have never had an issue with a retail sales clerk while shopping in Thailand. If anything, I find them too helpful and eager. I will say that Thai's do have a different concept of what is insulting. Calling someone "fat" seems to be part of everyday Thai conversation and they don't deem it as insulting. Thai's don't have the same stick up their butts like we do in the West, they aren't as "politically correct" and other than insulting their parents, they have pretty thick skin. I for one think it's refreshing and adds to the relaxed way of life here. If you find it insulting then why don't you just refuse to buy from them? That will have a greater effect than having some personal vendetta.

Edited January 28, 2013 by thenoilif

[tingtongtourist]

If you didnt really know what was said, how can be sure it was an insult?

Maybe they said something funny but not really offensive?? I remember being in a massage place once a few years ago when i didnt know any Thai language.The girl was washing my feet and her boss walks past..and she mutters something in Thai and then the rest are all giggling.

At that time i am like you, thinking the worst.

So when we are alone in the other massage room i did ask her (this girl speaks ok english) what it was her boss said when she was washing my feet.

The girl tells me.."boss make naughty joke..say you have big feet and want to know what else is big"

As it turns out..what i thought was insult was in actual fact kind of a compliment

So there Mr JT maybe this time also there was speculation about your other proportions

Edited January 28, 2013 by tingtongtourist

[Ulysses G.]

the respest o meter

More like the pest meter from reading the OP.

Tend to agree, but his food reviews are worth reading.

Those food reviews are his saving grace.

[loong]

. Calling someone "fat" seems to be part of everyday Thai conversation and they don't deem it as insulting. Thai's don't have the same stick up their butts like we do in the West, they aren't as "politically correct"

I agree.

I've been to the local shop and heard the ladies discuss how I am getting fatter

Having just bought some Chang beer, I held it up, patted my belly and said "I am not fat, have baby elephant" (Beer Chang translates as Elephant beer)

That brought a laugh

When they referred to me as fat, no insult was intended.

You will often hear adults refer to a fat kid as ooan (fat) instead of his/her name

[Kilgore Trout]

Seems all rather pointless, if you know you can avoid hassle and being treated like a tourist by speaking even rudimentary Thai then why complain when you get hassle and get treated like a tourist when you choose not to speak Thai?

So you're saying that being made fun of in your presence by people who assume you don't understand what's being said is being treated like a tourist? Remind me never to visit where you're from.

I come from a city that has tons of tourists and I would never do that even if I had reason to believe that they didn't understand what I said. It's not polite and it's just not right.

I don't know but thanks so much for telling me what I just said. Cheers for that, I never even knew my own mind until you told me what I was saying.

Your bland witless sarcasm suits you.

Perhaps you can quote your original post and explain what you meant by "treated like a tourist" with regard to the op.

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[David006]

...would think that someone who has been in LOS for a while would have developed a thicker skin..?

retail purchases in Thailand are hard enough without worrying about opinions of clerks expressed or implied.

.... most Thai girls are very perceptive about men...?

I find it funny when I peruse women's apparel ....god knows what they are saying but they certainly are being very helpful and funny ..I think?......................................................................until the wife turns up.......

[TommoPhysicist]

. Calling someone "fat" seems to be part of everyday Thai conversation and they don't deem it as insulting. Thai's don't have the same stick up their butts like we do in the West, they aren't as "politically correct"

I agree.

I've been to the local shop and heard the ladies discuss how I am getting fatter

Having just bought some Chang beer, I held it up, patted my belly and said "I am not fat, have baby elephant" (Beer Chang translates as Elephant beer)

That brought a laugh

When they referred to me as fat, no insult was intended.

You will often hear adults refer to a fat kid as ooan (fat) instead of his/her name

Chang (noi) ........ second meaning penis .......

"I'm not fat, just have large penis" is what you suggested ...... they laughed.

Edited January 29, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[Morakot]

I once bought a Barry Manilow T-Shirt. I then began to realise that most of the time other people were not focusing on me at all, despite me assuming the contrary.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Morakot

[robblok]

Why did you put up a picof a former dutch prime minister who was a bit of a nerd. Balkende

[loong]

. Calling someone "fat" seems to be part of everyday Thai conversation and they don't deem it as insulting. Thai's don't have the same stick up their butts like we do in the West, they aren't as "politically correct"

I agree.

I've been to the local shop and heard the ladies discuss how I am getting fatter

Having just bought some Chang beer, I held it up, patted my belly and said "I am not fat, have baby elephant" (Beer Chang translates as Elephant beer)

That brought a laugh

When they referred to me as fat, no insult was intended.

You will often hear adults refer to a fat kid as ooan (fat) instead of his/her name

Chang (noi) ........ second meaning penis .......

"I'm not fat, just have large penis" is what you suggested ...... they laughed.

Really??

Mind you, I'm not suprised,

Sometimes it seems that half the Thai words have a 2nd sexual connotation

[p_brownstone]

They usually giggle too and that I take as a giveaway.

If you interpret a "giggle" as some sort of insult then you must spend your time here in a state of permanent angst.

Thais giggle all the time - particularly in embarrassing situations ............... such as when they are trying to deal with a Farang who - apparently - speaks no Thai and they, the Thai, speaks minimal English.

Patrick

[p_brownstone]

I wouldn't insult them, if you have misread the situation or misheard you will look like a <deleted>.

Try to learn some polite phrases add Khup at end, Thais generally have more respect if your polite, and will be even more humble as opposed to you being confrontational

Khor Todt : Excuse me

Pud E tee : Say again

Besides these two basic sayings, theres loads of polite ways in Thai to show your unhappy and keep you looking cool and collected, and not like some hot head .

Arai Wai as suggested is actually pretty rude to strangers in a social situation.

You pretty much answered your own question to start with, Learn some basic Thai and use it.

All the staring etc will just make you look silly, and eventually you will get it so wrong your end up in a shitty situation that quickly escalates over nothing.

Also remember they are shop staff bored out of there wits, you as the foreigner are possibly the only source of entertainment they may get all day.

I would use the arai wa for sure if i was sure they were taking the piss. If they are not polite with me why should i be with them. I'm a client but i would make sure that what i heard was an insult.

Arai Wa is really way too rude to use in most situations described here - and it's definitely NOT a nice phrase to direct at children as an earlier Poster indicates he often does.

When using insults inappropriately one will usually end up making a fool of oneself, rather than expressing displeasure at a young member of staff in a retail establishment.

If you are SURE you have been insulted use phrases which demonstrate that you will not sink to their level; it's far more appropriate and even more embarrassing to the offender.

Examples :

"Pood dee dee noi" (speak more politely)

"Thammai pood yang nan" (why do you say such things?)

Patrick

Edited January 29, 2013 by p_brownstone

[prestburypark]

Don't take yourself too seriously helps a lot...laughing at yourself is very disarming.