Don't Tell Mates The Thai Truth

[klikster]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

[StevenHeidbriderSr]

A friend in need is a friend INDEED!

[cdmtdm]

i am very happy the OP posted this, as i have been dwelling on how to vent what has just recently happened to me ..first off yes u did the right thing 100% ...

I recently had the same scenario but as fate would have it , i did not get to tell my friend the truth ...he was an American and worked on deep sea fishing boats , i dont warm to yanks generally but he was a good guy , anyway he had been in a relationship with my wifes girlfriend for nearly a year , he came back and forth every few months , meanwhile she had a restaurant and worked away at that , we frequented the place while he was away and most of the time everything seemed normal , she spoke of her love for him and showed of the gold and goodies he purchased for her , they apparently planned to marry buy land on the island etc etc ... anyway my wife spotted a Thai guy floating around more and more at the restaurant , when questioned she dismissed it as an old friend , meanwhile my wife returned to the farm and i stayed alone and continued to eat there , i watched her become more familiar with tourists ,it began to puzzle me why would she do this ? she has a business , money , a good guy and a future ... then one night i was sitting alone and an english guy asked to join me at the table , on holidays he had met the lady in question a month prior and had been living with her for two weeks ...i thought <deleted> ,,,, i was polite finished and left the place , rang my wife told her , she could not believe it .... when she rang and questioned her the next day it was denial denial denial....... anyway i decided when he came i would tell him the truth ... so as it turned out the day he arrived i flew out , i waved to him and told him i would return in two weeks , that week a party was held at the restaurant to celebrate one year of business , he got smashed beyond belief ,rode his scooter home alone and collided driving on the wrong side of the road with two Thais on another scooter , he died instantly , one of the Thai also died , the other is basically disabled for life ... i cannot condone anyone drinking and driving and killing innocent people .... however at the party he found out about his love cheating on him not just with one guy , but with 4 !!!! that would tip anyone over the edge ... the cold hearted bitch carried on life as usual with the odd crocodile tear , but one by one her friends deserted her as did we ... the crunch came for me when the guy from england contacted me on FB ... shortly after the event .. i asked him ..hey do u realise what has happened over here with your female friend ? he said no , i spoke with her on the phone yesterday and she seemed fine ..so i told him the truth ... i hunted down the other 3 and told them the same ... the sad thing is his body remained unclaimed and was cremated at the temple and she did not even attend ... i hate to say this but please guys when it comes to Thai ladies enter at your own risk ..this caused a huge trust issue in my own relationship and things may never be the same ... i feel very sad not too have told him, but i figured it was better face to face, i just did not get the chance .... anyway thats my story ..i have much more to add but why bore u ...

Nice story but "I generally do.t warm to yanks"

What a stupid thing to say

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

sorry if your a yank but its the truth..... so whats stupid about the truth ?

[rgs2001uk]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

[TommoPhysicist]

I guess it's a bit late now to tell the other farang in my village. Ive never met him but heard lots over the years. Watched as his wifes family went from pig farmers to beauty salon owner to rice harvester owner. All this comes from the village gossip.

He comes and goes, but no sooner does he leave and his wife's love interests appear. His wife even convinced her parents he was dead and needed money to travel to Europe to collect her share of the estate. Parents put the farm into hock to give daughter travel money.

Now the farang has miraculously returned to life. Unfortunately he's now sharing his house with wife, daughter and wife's latest love interest. Even the daughter is confused, when asked how her dad is she asks which one.

These are people we are talking about, saying "the farang," "the farang" only leads to people being thought of as less than human; dont fall into the same type of thinking you are complaining about

Why? I am a farang! And my farang friends and I all tend to use the word farang to refer to other farangs!

It's considered quite rude to refer to people by their skin colour or race where I come from.

My parents taught me that, did your parents teach you that?

It's considered quite rude to refer to people as 'things' in Thailand.

My Thai wife taught me that, did your Thai wife teach you that?

Edited February 5, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[sirchai]

Indeed a good question. I's tried to warn a friend of mine that his wife was messing around with other guys,etc. Then I sat there at his place, waiting for her to go, as she always freaked out and stabbed this poor guy. ( I know you'll read that, will pray for your lost soul!!)

They were separated for about two weeks, got back together and i was the bad guy. But I'd still do it again if it's really a friend of mine. That's what friends are for, I'd say.

I'd be more than happy if somebody would tell me if my wife would do something similar. Guess that's what it's all about. .

[klikster]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

"Khun" or "Khun, khrap." That's how I address Thais who are strangers.

How do you address Thais that you don't know?

Edited February 6, 2013 by klikster

[TommoPhysicist]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

"Khun" or "Khun, khrap."

they can also use Ajarn, Nai, Nong, Pee, Lung ...........according to your occupation, apparent status or age.

[brewsterbudgen]

I guess it's a bit late now to tell the other farang in my village. Ive never met him but heard lots over the years. Watched as his wifes family went from pig farmers to beauty salon owner to rice harvester owner. All this comes from the village gossip.

He comes and goes, but no sooner does he leave and his wife's love interests appear. His wife even convinced her parents he was dead and needed money to travel to Europe to collect her share of the estate. Parents put the farm into hock to give daughter travel money.

Now the farang has miraculously returned to life. Unfortunately he's now sharing his house with wife, daughter and wife's latest love interest. Even the daughter is confused, when asked how her dad is she asks which one.

These are people we are talking about, saying "the farang," "the farang" only leads to people being thought of as less than human; dont fall into the same type of thinking you are complaining about

Why? I am a farang! And my farang friends and I all tend to use the word farang to refer to other farangs!

It's considered quite rude to refer to people by their skin colour or race where I come from.

My parents taught me that, did your parents teach you that?

It's considered quite rude to refer to people as 'things' in Thailand.

My Thai wife taught me that, did your Thai wife teach you that?

I don't have a Thai wife. I live In Bangkok and there are thousands of farangs living and working here. I guess it must be different in the sticks, which might be why you're more touchy about it. Mai pen rai.

[Arkady]

It's a tricky situation because the tendency to believe what you want to believe and shoot the messenger is very strong. In this case, I think the OP did the right thing because his friend was about to sink a large sun of money into what he imagined was a real relationship but obviously wasn't.

I have been in a couple of situations like that where I was asked for advice. One guy paraded his new girlfriend in front of me and said he wanted to take her home on a fiancee visa and what did I think? She was absolutely awful - hideous and grasping and even complained in Thai to me behind his back about his stinginess and his insistence on her attending English lessons which she abandoned as soon as he wasn't looking. I told him to keep looking as there are plenty of fish in the ocean. He was very upset at this and ignored my advice and didn't talk to me for over a year but eventually married the woman and got her a settlement visa in Farangland. I don't know if she had anything going on with other men but after a couple of years and a couple of attempts to kill her husband with household implements when in a rage about nothing, he had to give her a one way ticket back to Thailand to save his life.

Another guy who also lived overseas had a Thai girlfriend of less than a year's standing that he had fallen head over heels with asked my advice on sinking a large amount of cash into a house and land in the girl's village. Of course I advised categorically against such madness, even without knowing much about the girl at the time, since he hadn't known her long and the house was intended for her parents to live in not for him or the girl, although they already had another much smaller one in the village. Of course my advice was ignored and I was given the cold shoulder for a long time. Later we got together again a couple of times but never the same as before and it then appeared to me that the woman in question probably had a Thai lover due to her careless phone conversations in Thai which she had stupidly assumed I couldn't understand. This time I held my tongue as the damage was already done and the first child already on the way, so I hoped things would work out for them somehow and didn't think he would believe me anyway, if I said something. Eventually my suspicions were proved correct and my friend realised he had been conned out of millions of baht by a woman who had a Thai hubbie all along who didn't mind her even having a kid with someone else, if it meant more lovely money for him.

Basically this is a lose lose situation in most cases.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Arkady

[Gary A]

One of my rules here is to keep a low profile and mind my own business. You never really know all the circumstances in someone's relationship/marriage. I think some of the guys with wandering wives know that they wander and don't care. I think keeping your mouth shut is the right thing to do.

[Arkady]

My Thai mother-in-law moved back upcountry to Isaan to take care of her aged mother after spending most her life in Bangkok. She is amazed at the behaviour of some of the young women of the district who are playing around with various foreign men to extract money from them and loves to regale us with the stories when we visit or she visits us in Bkk. They seem to be competition to see who can build the biggest house with stupid foreign men's money and who can deceive the most foreign men simultaneously. Villagers have seen one woman bringing five different farang men to stay in the house that each one believes he paid for exclusively. They marvel at how these women can arrange their schedules so the farang men don't clash with each other and the Thai husband is out of the way when the farang men visit. Of course there are also some farang men who have built houses and settled there permanently with Thai wives and are probably doing OK for the most part, although I haven't met any of them personally. On the other hand, for those who work overseas and visit Thailand occasionally it is not uncommon for these "time share" guys to be sharing their Thai sweethearts with one or two other farangs and a Thai guy. Some of the women probably deserve the money they make for their Oscar winning performances and their willingness to "go the whole hog" to make the performance more convincing.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Arkady

[Arkady]

One of my rules here is to keep a low profile and mind my own business. You never really know all the circumstances in someone's relationship/marriage. I think some of the guys with wandering wives know that they wander and don't care. I think keeping your mouth shut is the right thing to do.

I agree with you there but the problem is when you get asked for advice and you have to either lie or tell the unwelcome truth.

[puchooay]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

"Khun" or "Khun, khrap." That's how I address Thais who are strangers.

How do you address Thais that you don't know?

Lost count of how many times I have seen the phrase "Thai wife" on here. Isn't that wrong too? Thai wife and farang husband. Is that OK?

Most Thais use the word without any malice at all.

[Kilgore Trout]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

"Khun" or "Khun, khrap." That's how I address Thais who are strangers.

How do you address Thais that you don't know?

Lost count of how many times I have seen the phrase "Thai wife" on here. Isn't that wrong too? Thai wife and farang husband. Is that OK?

Most Thais use the word without any malice at all.

Thai wife- farang husband doesnt work

Thai-British, American etc or

Farang-oriental:blink:

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Kilgore Trout]

i am very happy the OP posted this, as i have been dwelling on how to vent what has just recently happened to me ..first off yes u did the right thing 100% ...

I recently had the same scenario but as fate would have it , i did not get to tell my friend the truth ...he was an American and worked on deep sea fishing boats , i dont warm to yanks generally but he was a good guy , anyway he had been in a relationship with my wifes girlfriend for nearly a year , he came back and forth every few months , meanwhile she had a restaurant and worked away at that , we frequented the place while he was away and most of the time everything seemed normal , she spoke of her love for him and showed of the gold and goodies he purchased for her , they apparently planned to marry buy land on the island etc etc ... anyway my wife spotted a Thai guy floating around more and more at the restaurant , when questioned she dismissed it as an old friend , meanwhile my wife returned to the farm and i stayed alone and continued to eat there , i watched her become more familiar with tourists ,it began to puzzle me why would she do this ? she has a business , money , a good guy and a future ... then one night i was sitting alone and an english guy asked to join me at the table , on holidays he had met the lady in question a month prior and had been living with her for two weeks ...i thought <deleted> ,,,, i was polite finished and left the place , rang my wife told her , she could not believe it .... when she rang and questioned her the next day it was denial denial denial....... anyway i decided when he came i would tell him the truth ... so as it turned out the day he arrived i flew out , i waved to him and told him i would return in two weeks , that week a party was held at the restaurant to celebrate one year of business , he got smashed beyond belief ,rode his scooter home alone and collided driving on the wrong side of the road with two Thais on another scooter , he died instantly , one of the Thai also died , the other is basically disabled for life ... i cannot condone anyone drinking and driving and killing innocent people .... however at the party he found out about his love cheating on him not just with one guy , but with 4 !!!! that would tip anyone over the edge ... the cold hearted bitch carried on life as usual with the odd crocodile tear , but one by one her friends deserted her as did we ... the crunch came for me when the guy from england contacted me on FB ... shortly after the event .. i asked him ..hey do u realise what has happened over here with your female friend ? he said no , i spoke with her on the phone yesterday and she seemed fine ..so i told him the truth ... i hunted down the other 3 and told them the same ... the sad thing is his body remained unclaimed and was cremated at the temple and she did not even attend ... i hate to say this but please guys when it comes to Thai ladies enter at your own risk ..this caused a huge trust issue in my own relationship and things may never be the same ... i feel very sad not too have told him, but i figured it was better face to face, i just did not get the chance .... anyway thats my story ..i have much more to add but why bore u ...

Nice story but "I generally do.t warm to yanks"

What a stupid thing to say

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

sorry if your a yank but its the truth..... so whats stupid about the truth ?

American by birth, southern by the grace of god

I ain't no yank, son

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[TommoPhysicist]

Lost count of how many times I have seen the phrase "Thai wife" on here. Isn't that wrong too? Thai wife and farang husband. Is that OK?

Most Thais use the word without any malice at all.

Thai wife and English husband = no problem.

hooker and farang = problem

[HeavyDrinker]

You should tell someone, friend or not, Thai or "Farang" that they are being lied to/robbed blind/cheated on. It is your moral obligation.

4 years ago I nicked a tenner off the wife so I could slip off to the pub with my cousin and the blighter grassed me up when we got home and I stil lget aggro for that.....

[cdmtdm]

KT ..so u should not be offended then ... what was your point of posting in the first place ?

[Kilgore Trout]

KT ..so u should not be offended then ... what was your point of posting in the first place ?

Point in the first place is that saying you don't generally warm to a person because of their nationality is stupid, in my opinion.

Second point is "yank" is a stupid word when referring to Americans, especially considering a huge chunk of the population would be offended by being called a yank, and by definition, are not "yanks."

Does that answer your question?

Edited February 6, 2013 by Kilgore Trout

[Lancelot]

"Shoot the Messenger" happens back home as well. While

I'm not defending the adulterous Thai wife;however, leave out the reference to her nationality and, sadly, this story coluld be told about buddies at home and many other countries...

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

You should tell someone, friend or not, Thai or "Farang" that they are being lied to/robbed blind/cheated on. It is your moral obligation.

4 years ago I nicked a tenner off the wife so I could slip off to the pub with my cousin and the blighter [who?] grassed me up when we got home and I still get aggro for that.....[from whom?]

I think what you're saying here might be interesting so I truly want to know. However, I'm sorry, I don't understand a thing you said.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Kaoboi Bebobp

[MobileContent]

Had the same experience recently.

A banker from Belgium fell in love with a young Khon Kaen woman from a Pattaya bar.

He decided to marry her for 1 million Baht sinsod and build her a house around Khon Kaen for another 1 million Baht.

On my advise that he doesn't have to pay sinsod for a bar girl he ignored my advise and told me he will bring her over to Belgium. After he married her in a traditional marriage he flown back to Belgium and took care of sponsoring her to join him in Belgium. I told him he is in dream world if he really think that she would join him in Belgium as she is just 23 years old and she could get 3 or 4 more paying farangs to play the same show with.

He didn't wanted to listen and two weeks ago he called me and said that his wife changed the phone number and the parents said she went back to Pattaya as she doesn't wanted to stay in Belgium. His heart is broken but he doesn't really care about the money he lost but the way the lady treated him.

All I could say to him, for the next time make your homework and find a good lady but stay away from bars and don't flash any money around as it attracts the vulture's.

Edited February 6, 2013 by MobileContent

[maprao]

Isan spelt many different ways seems to be the most dangerous are of Thailand in my opinion for being "taken for a ride" Something in the genes up in that area. Of course there are few exceptions to every rule. You may be one of them. I am a contractor and all the people that I know married to Thais from this area seem to spending huge sums of money supporting extended families back in LOS.

[rgs2001uk]

Isan spelt many different ways seems to be the most dangerous are of Thailand in my opinion for being "taken for a ride" Something in the genes up in that area. Of course there are few exceptions to every rule. You may be one of them. I am a contractor and all the people that I know married to Thais from this area seem to spending huge sums of money supporting extended families back in LOS.

No shit Sherlock, well spotted.

There are two towns in that area that as soon as I hear the name mentioned, I think to myself, good gawd here we go again.

Yeah sure you met her working in the bank in Pattaya, how many bank clerks have you ever seen in Thailand with the word, sex tattooed on the back of their hand in one inch high letters.

[rgs2001uk]

I am only speaking for myself here; talking about 'the farang' is different than being addressed as 'farang'.

If someone addresses me as "farang" I simply ignore them. Though sometimes, depending on their tone, I include a stern glance.

How should a person who speaks no English address you?

"Khun" or "Khun, khrap."

they can also use Ajarn, Nai, Nong, Pee, Lung ...........according to your occupation, apparent status or age.

Ah, the good old Ajarn, probably the most overused and missappropriated phrase heard on these shores.

I have heard of, "wan kru", never heard of "wan ajarn"

Most farang should consider themselves lucky to be called ajarn, the truth is its doubtful if they even posses the qualifications to be called kru, never mind, good old face at play.

Anyway for the previous poster, pee krap.

[bunnydrops]

First on topic-- I was a "Navy Brat". Lived near Navy bases much of my younger years. The young married enlisted lived inone section of the Navy housing. When the men would get shipped out for 7 months and longer on ship, everything would be quiet for the first two months, then all hell would break loose. "compac wifes" they were called. Anyway, if you are going to have a young wife or girlfriend, and you are going to leave them alone for many months, it doesn't matter where you live or the nationality of the wife. Don't be surprised to find out somethings been going on.

Off subject. I too was born in the South (over looking Fort Sumter). I think of myself as a Farang, Gringo, and Yes, Yank (the South lost over 100 years ago--get over it ). I think my country man is saying is that the US is a vast country with people of very different walks of life. I am sure you have a image in your mind of what a Yank is, but you have no idea of what a Cajun, Nebraskan farmer, or Maine lobster fisherman have or don't have in common. How stupid is it for me to say I don't warm up to Europeans.

[FDog]

KT ..so u should not be offended then ... what was your point of posting in the first place ?

Point in the first place is that saying you don't generally warm to a person because of their nationality is stupid, in my opinion.

Second point is "yank" is a stupid word when referring to Americans, especially considering a huge chunk of the population would be offended by being called a yank, and by definition, are not "yanks."

Does that answer your question?

As the saying goes....'You can't handle the truth'.

Everytime anyone mentions a septic tank (yank) in conversation with anyone I know there is an audible groan. I don't think they realise how much a lot of people really just dislike them.

Farang? My dear, who really gets their knickers in a twist about being called Farang.

[rgs2001uk]

First on topic-- I was a "Navy Brat". Lived near Navy bases much of my younger years. The young married enlisted lived inone section of the Navy housing. When the men would get shipped out for 7 months and longer on ship, everything would be quiet for the first two months, then all hell would break loose. "compac wifes" they were called. Anyway, if you are going to have a young wife or girlfriend, and you are going to leave them alone for many months, it doesn't matter where you live or the nationality of the wife. Don't be surprised to find out somethings been going on.

Off subject. I too was born in the South (over looking Fort Sumter). I think of myself as a Farang, Gringo, and Yes, Yank (the South lost over 100 years ago--get over it ). I think my country man is saying is that the US is a vast country with people of very different walks of life. I am sure you have a image in your mind of what a Yank is, but you have no idea of what a Cajun, Nebraskan farmer, or Maine lobster fisherman have or don't have in common. How stupid is it for me to say I don't warm up to Europeans.

Hang on a minute, looks for Skynyrd cd, pops in SHA, yeah sure "the south will rise again".

Even my friends in Cairo County Sth Georgia laugh at this stuff.

[rsokolowski]

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So from my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall

As soon as he marries her then she starts

To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

you'll be happy for the rest of your life

An ugly woman cooks meals on time

And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So from my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

Lyrics from a very good song. I do not know the name of the band though. Edited February 6, 2013 by rsokolowski