A Most Unusual And As Yet Unexplained Disappearance Of My Thai Wife

[TommoPhysicist]

Yep, she wants a different life. Been there and got the T shirt. Sad, yes, difficult to understand, yes.

Move on and l hope you can recoup half the cash involved. I say this cos at least you will feel a bit better that she has not ripped you off after a lifetime together. I got that T shirt too.

Me too!

We should print and market that t-shirt.

It should be very popular amonst TV members.

Edited March 2, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[FWIW]

Just out of curiosity - did the neighbour offer any real evidence that he had bought and paid for the house? A legal document? Was a lawyer involved?

Not sure I would believe someone who just came up to me and said "Oh, and by the way I just bought your house - for cash -which is now with your missing wife"

[keystone]

Yep, she wants a different life. Been there and got the T shirt. Sad, yes, difficult to understand, yes.

Move on and l hope you can recoup half the cash involved. I say this cos at least you will feel a bit better that she has not ripped you off after a lifetime together. I got that T shirt too.

Hi transam

I agree, I think she wants to start a new life.

I understand that all assets are shared equally come divorce. In my case I will make sure that I have no assets in Thailand apart from sufficient money in the bank for my retirement and extension and the government and personal pensions are already paid directly into my UK bank. I further understand that if she wants half my assets in the UK, i,e, shares and cash in bank she will have to go thru a UK court and I honestly cannot see that happening. I think my wife will end up owing me money (50% sale of the townhouse) come the divorce.

In this situation, have I got grounds for filing for divorce under desertion after one year?

[keystone]

Just out of curiosity - did the neighbour offer any real evidence that he had bought and paid for the house? A legal document? Was a lawyer involved?

Not sure I would believe someone who just came up to me and said "Oh, and by the way I just bought your house - for cash -which is now with your missing wife"

Yes, I took a copy of the legal document.

[FWIW]

Just out of curiosity - did the neighbour offer any real evidence that he had bought and paid for the house? A legal document? Was a lawyer involved?

Not sure I would believe someone who just came up to me and said "Oh, and by the way I just bought your house - for cash -which is now with your missing wife"

Yes, I took a copy of the legal document.

And got it independently verified?

[keystone]

Just out of curiosity - did the neighbour offer any real evidence that he had bought and paid for the house? A legal document? Was a lawyer involved?

Not sure I would believe someone who just came up to me and said "Oh, and by the way I just bought your house - for cash -which is now with your missing wife"

Yes, I took a copy of the legal document.

And got it independently verified?

In phasa Thai my friend.

[keystone]

Just out of curiosity - did the neighbour offer any real evidence that he had bought and paid for the house? A legal document? Was a lawyer involved?

Not sure I would believe someone who just came up to me and said "Oh, and by the way I just bought your house - for cash -which is now with your missing wife"

Yes, I took a copy of the legal document.

And got it independently verified?

In phasa Thai my friend.

But I have since had it translated by Thai person and it is a copy of the legal document (house/land) obtained from the land office.

[OxfordWill]

You have provided no reason to rule out the possibility of your wife being some sort of victim rather than perpetrator. You say confidently that there is no kidnapping or scam involved. Based on what? A neighbor saying so?

[ALFREDO]

Really, how many murdered wives are there in the world, who leave all their stuff, their purse, their phone, their car, their clothes, and the husband says "I don't know what happened, she just left for some ice-cream and never came back"?

And sold the house in cash, which she could have done on the direction of her husband, and delivered the money to him, before, obviously ...this doesn't mean she stole the money and ran, but a good excuse.

Well, again, I am sorry this happened to the OP, assuming he did nothing wrong, but it just seems wrong not to mention this possible circumstance. This just leaves me with a very bad feeling.

the proceeds were paid to my wife in cash.

As I mentioned ealier all my wife took with her that day was her shopping bag. All her personal property, clothes, etc were left in the house.

With the help of several Thai friends and a truck, I was able to move everything from the house to a spare room

Hmmm?

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Remembering the story from -Katabeachbum- in Phuket.

I thought.

You found out that she sold the house, found the money, an argument gone bad and in your "spare room",

there is now a big green, rubbish bin on wheels, tight sealed.

Or, even more!

Encouraged her to sale the house, took the money yourself and action followed,

as it got, after 35 years boring with her and you wanted to look for "new shores",

without an expensive divorce. Ending same above, "bin."

By the way, where have you been "away", at the time of her disappearance? Alone? Or?

You write once,

"I was away at the time of her disappearance but noticed that she had taken my video camera (an expensive item)."

And once,

" my wife left the townhouse carrying her shopping bag.

As she didn't return later that day, I assumed she had gone to a friend's house, not far from where we lived and stayed over.

I tried to contact her by telephone but there was no answer."

If you have been away, how would you know, she carried her shopping bag?

If you had been away, how would you know, that she did not return, later that day?

Edited March 2, 2013 by ALFREDO

[amykat]

Thanks Keystone for coming back and adding more information to your story. This has been on my mind since I read this yesterday!

I wonder if you have considered that she may not have planned to leave you that day ...maybe she sold the house because she wanted/needed the money for something, but she had a deal with the new owner to rent the house, in order that you could continue to live there, without knowing she sold it? I'm sure you are taking the sale as showing her intention to leave, and even if she was plannng to leave, maybe it wasn't going to be that day and something bad did happen to her?

Or are you not worried at all that she could have some medical/mental condition that could have caused this ...I wonder how old she is? Everyone was assuming, I think, that she is about 55, but she could be 65, or more, we don't know.

Or could she have had a car accident and she is currently hidden under some jungle where she crashed? People go off the road, off cliffs, and don't get discovered immediately.

And then there is the possible crime angle, that she was a victim, maybe of someone who knew she had so much money. Maybe the shopping bag was full of cash and she was going to the bank?

Does she have her own money, her own pension, things like this, in order to support the rest of her life, in the case that she did just leave? It doesn't seem that a low price for a townhouse in Thailand, would be enough money to support a retirement, but maybe you lived in a very expensive location.

I would think all these possibilities would be driving you crazy. I am sorry this happened and feel terrible for you. And I feel bad for her too.

[keystone]

Thanks Keystone for coming back and adding more information to your story. This has been on my mind since I read this yesterday!

I wonder if you have considered that she may not have planned to leave you that day ...maybe she sold the house because she wanted/needed the money for something, but she had a deal with the new owner to rent the house, in order that you could continue to live there, without knowing she sold it? I'm sure you are taking the sale as showing her intention to leave, and even if she was plannng to leave, maybe it wasn't going to be that day and something bad did happen to her?

Or are you not worried at all that she could have some medical/mental condition that could have caused this ...I wonder how old she is? Everyone was assuming, I think, that she is about 55, but she could be 65, or more, we don't know.

Or could she have had a car accident and she is currently hidden under some jungle where she crashed? People go off the road, off cliffs, and don't get discovered immediately.

And then there is the possible crime angle, that she was a victim, maybe of someone who knew she had so much money. Maybe the shopping bag was full of cash and she was going to the bank?

Does she have her own money, her own pension, things like this, in order to support the rest of her life, in the case that she did just leave? It doesn't seem that a low price for a townhouse in Thailand, would be enough money to support a retirement, but maybe you lived in a very expensive location.

I would think all these possibilities would be driving you crazy. I am sorry this happened and feel terrible for you. And I feel bad for her too.

Hi Amykat

Let me try and answer the questions raised in your post.

The day of my wife's departure seemed like any ordinary day and it wasn't until later that day I started to get concerned. She has stayed over at her friends house before but always called to let me know. This time when I called her, there was no answer. A few days later having heard nothing from my wife, I took a trip to her friends house (the couple I have known for years) and indeed she had been staying there but had departed for Bangna for see her cousin. I asked the lady of the house who can speak English, if my wife mentioned that she sold the house, her reply was 'she (my wife) has told me nothing'. I asked the lady to call me if my wife returned to the house but no word as yet. Whilst I was there, I did notice some of my wife's clothes hanging out to dry which gave me a reason to believe she had actually been there.

Her mother passed away approx 18 months ago and left my wife quite a lot of land which I believe now the Royal Thai Army have purchased or are going to purchase according to her words. This might have a bearing on what she may now be doing but I'm not convinced about this so called land deal.

As far as the house sale is concerned, I believe it was done according to Thai law in that the necessary documents were signed at the land office and I was able to make a copy of the land deed which I obtained from the buyer (next door neighbour). Furthermore, purchasing a property for cash, I wouldn't have thought that the next door neighbour had that sort of cash or whether he/she (married couple with young daughter) bought the house on behalf of somebody else, possibly to sell it. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, the townhouse was sold very cheaply. Even whilst making the police report in that district, the policeman thought how ridiculously cheap it was sold for.

My wife is 58 years of age, with a personal pension which she obtained whilst working and living many years in the UK. I also supplement that income with a monthly allowance. The last monthly payment to her was to have been 25 February which I stopped thinking she might call me to say 'where is my money?', but not a word.

I would add, she did like her drink here as well as the UK, so possibly.................

I believe something is very wrong or could it be that she just wants to start a new life? I don't believe for one minute there is anyone else, but who knows at this stage, it's just pure speculation.

In fact, thinking about it, my wife had sold the house one week before she departed and I was living in a sold house. I was unaware of this, my wife told me nothing although all the neighbours knew it had been sold. Uncomfortable feeling when I was told the following morning after my wife disappeared.

I have been working closely with a girl (English and Thai language) who I've known for about eight years. Only a friend and has helped me so far regarding this situation, She was able to gather information from the neighbours whilst moving all my furniture. She also accompanied me to the police station to file a report of which I have a copy.

I believe that my wife has been very bad to say the least............selling the house without my knowledge, pocketing the proceeds and disappearing. I'm sure, there is more to this...............maybe one day Rodders.

I know I could hire a private detective to track her down.........I have copy of her ID card, but is it worth it? I think she has made her own mind up as to what she wants to do and will not change but I do believe, as I've said, there is more to it.

After 12 months, I understand I can file for desertion thru the courts in the district we were married.

Although I can speak a little Thai, it would, certainly in this case, be beneficial to speak fluently although my friend is helping me. Now where is Walen?

Regards

[Loptr]

Well, why are you guys assuming that only WOMEN can go wrong, change, or screw you over, you have NEVER heard of MEN who do the same???

And why are assuming that the OP is telling us the 100% truth? Because you can relate with the man? I can relate to what you have said many times Tommo, but in my case, the offender was my husband, a MAN and I'm pretty sure, according to what you have said about your own situation, that my MAN was signficantly worse. This isn't a man or woman only thing, this is a people thing.

Is it impossible, that the man in this situation, might have been the bad guy, and the woman might have been murdered? In order to protect "at all costs" HIS (so-called) assets? Are there not men in the world who kill women in order to avoid child support, or divorce costs? Or for other reasons, control, abuse, whatever?

I tend to always side with the expat as far as TV stories go, but this story, as presented so far, is just ringing wrong with me. And maybe if you were more open minded to "other" people doing bad things, not only post-menopausal women, you would see that, as I know you are a very smart guy!

Just a touch bitter are we?

Clutching at straws is usually the last argument in a losing debate. Had the OP been the evil doer in this little episode, just why would he come on TV asking for advice?

[keystone]

Well, why are you guys assuming that only WOMEN can go wrong, change, or screw you over, you have NEVER heard of MEN who do the same???

And why are assuming that the OP is telling us the 100% truth? Because you can relate with the man? I can relate to what you have said many times Tommo, but in my case, the offender was my husband, a MAN and I'm pretty sure, according to what you have said about your own situation, that my MAN was signficantly worse. This isn't a man or woman only thing, this is a people thing.

Is it impossible, that the man in this situation, might have been the bad guy, and the woman might have been murdered? In order to protect "at all costs" HIS (so-called) assets? Are there not men in the world who kill women in order to avoid child support, or divorce costs? Or for other reasons, control, abuse, whatever?

I tend to always side with the expat as far as TV stories go, but this story, as presented so far, is just ringing wrong with me. And maybe if you were more open minded to "other" people doing bad things, not only post-menopausal women, you would see that, as I know you are a very smart guy!

Just a touch bitter are we?

Clutching at straws is usually the last argument in a losing debate. Had the OP been the evil doer in this little episode, just why would he come on TV asking for advice?

Bitter? Not at all my old sunshine.

I didn't appear on television (TV)? to ask for advice. The only question I asked was can I divorce in 12 months time and I believe the answer to that is yes.

The only reason I posted was that I thought it was a most unusual story and could maybe affect any of us including your sunshine.

[amykat]

Hi Maudib,

I believe I stated that I was playing devil's advocate in these posts ...here is a definition for you:

In common parlance, a devil's advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, for the sake of debate. In taking this position, the individual taking on the devil's advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position. It can also refer to someone who takes a stance that is seen as unpopular or unconventional, but is actually another way of arguing a much more conventional stance.

I guess you can't really know if I am bitter or not, without knowing much more about me, however if you chose to think that, I don't mind. We all filter things through our own life experiences.

A female relative of mine was beaten to death, in her parent's house, where she had gone to live with her new baby, after leaving her husband. He was seen visiting that evening, he failed 3 polygraph tests, and it seemed pretty clear that he had done it. It took 20 years to convict the murderer, when more evidence came to light, due to a second murder.

Other people went right away to their experiences with menopausal women, which I am not sure they can be 100% confident that that was really the cause of their problems, but it is a way to try to understand some shocking things that people do.

Edited March 2, 2013 by amykat

[MAJIC]

It seems very odd that she left behind her ID Card and British Passport? forgive me for asking,but is she fond of gambling,especially playing cards?

[MAJIC]

If she has a UK passport, she can easily get half of everything you have in the UK.

After 35 years, UK courts will consider everything jointly owned, including inherited assets, pensions (only those earned while married to her), all property in your name .

So the question you have to ask yourself is, does she have access to UK courts?

(I would imagine after a 35 year marriage she most likely does)

Post No 5,the OP is reporting her missing,and taking her UK Passport and Thai ID card along to the Police Station. So maybe the first port of call should be Bangkok British Embassy to see if she has applied for a new Passport.

[keystone]

It seems very odd that she left behind her ID Card and British Passport? forgive me for asking,but is she fond of gambling,especially playing cards?

Wrong. Keep up, I have a COPY of her ID card and British Passport.

I know more about gambling, especially playing cards in Thailand than you ever will.

Again, try to keep up with the postings.

[manarak]

It seems very odd that she left behind her ID Card and British Passport? forgive me for asking,but is she fond of gambling,especially playing cards?

There is a definite need for cash that needs to be explained, but also the disregard for further income from her pension - a loan shark would want the pension as well.

Paying part of a debt and disappearing doesn't make too much sense.

OP writes she hasn't any close family left.

For what can she need money?

OP's posts read very cold, and he has been talking to Thai friends about divorce before the wife's disappearance.

The wife might have settled the divorce "Thai style".

But why not take ID cards and passports?

EDIT: oh, OP only had copies of her ID card and passports, so she took them with her - I'd bet she just left and had no desire to go through divorce proceedings and possibly drama.

Edited March 2, 2013 by manarak

[keystone]

If she has a UK passport, she can easily get half of everything you have in the UK.

After 35 years, UK courts will consider everything jointly owned, including inherited assets, pensions (only those earned while married to her), all property in your name .

So the question you have to ask yourself is, does she have access to UK courts?

(I would imagine after a 35 year marriage she most likely does)

Post No 5,the OP is reporting her missing,and taking her UK Passport and Thai ID card along to the Police Station. So maybe the first port of call should be Bangkok British Embassy to see if she has applied for a new Passport.

Hi Tommo

Already checked.

[MAJIC]

It seems very odd that she left behind her ID Card and British Passport? forgive me for asking,but is she fond of gambling,especially playing cards?

Wrong. Keep up, I have a COPY of her ID card and British Passport.

I know more about gambling, especially playing cards in Thailand than you ever will.

Again, try to keep up with the postings.

That's a fair enough comment,so she doesn't gamble then!

But even so,taking her British Passport,would indicate,that perhaps she planned not to return?

[jbrain]

Well, why are you guys assuming that only WOMEN can go wrong, change, or screw you over, you have NEVER heard of MEN who do the same???

And why are assuming that the OP is telling us the 100% truth? Because you can relate with the man? I can relate to what you have said many times Tommo, but in my case, the offender was my husband, a MAN and I'm pretty sure, according to what you have said about your own situation, that my MAN was signficantly worse. This isn't a man or woman only thing, this is a people thing.

Is it impossible, that the man in this situation, might have been the bad guy, and the woman might have been murdered? In order to protect "at all costs" HIS (so-called) assets? Are there not men in the world who kill women in order to avoid child support, or divorce costs? Or for other reasons, control, abuse, whatever?

I tend to always side with the expat as far as TV stories go, but this story, as presented so far, is just ringing wrong with me. And maybe if you were more open minded to "other" people doing bad things, not only post-menopausal women, you would see that, as I know you are a very smart guy!

Just a touch bitter are we?

Clutching at straws is usually the last argument in a losing debate. Had the OP been the evil doer in this little episode, just why would he come on TV asking for advice?

Bitter? Not at all my old sunshine.

I didn't appear on television (TV)? to ask for advice. The only question I asked was can I divorce in 12 months time and I believe the answer to that is yes.

The only reason I posted was that I thought it was a most unusual story and could maybe affect any of us including your sunshine.

The most unusual about the story is that after 35 years of marriage you were still paying your wife a monthly salary allowance

[ALFREDO]

Two words not yet been mentioned, gambling (debts) and face.

It may well be she sold the house to fund/help out family?
Where do her family live, why not go visit?

Thanks, have already gone along that Avenue.

So, you spoke with her family!

. My wife has no family now

But, she has NO family!?

No answer to my other questions?

By the way, where have you been "away", at the time of her disappearance? Alone? Or?

You write once,

"I was away at the time of her disappearance but noticed that she had taken my video camera (an expensive item)."

And once,

" my wife left the townhouse carrying her shopping bag.

As she didn't return later that day, I assumed she had gone to a friend's house, not far from where we lived and stayed over.

I tried to contact her by telephone but there was no answer."

If you have been away, how would you know, she carried her shopping bag?

If you had been away, how would you know, that she did not return, later that day?

Edited March 2, 2013 by ALFREDO

[ALFREDO]

I have been working closely with a girl (English and Thai language) who I've known for about eight years. Only a friend and has helped me so far regarding this situation, She was able to gather information from the neighbours whilst moving all my furniture. She also accompanied me to the police station to file a report of which I have a copy.

"I have been working closely, with a -girl-?

"Known, since 8 years"

'Only a friend!"

"Helped me, regarding this situation."

Sure, not more?

With reference to any of the persons that live in the village know where my wife is, only one person has said that she is possibly with a friend in Bangna

this person said that my wife may have gone to Bangna to see her cousin. My wife has no family now and she has mentioned this cousin in Bangna but of course I've no idea where in Bangna.

So, a "friend" or a "cousin"?

Edited March 2, 2013 by ALFREDO

[NeverSure]

If I was married to a Thai and living in Thailand..

Now, if I wasn't happy with my marriage but knew that a divorce would give the Thai wife half of everything including my pensions...

I guess I could get my wife to sell the house to a neighbor and bring me the cash.

Then I suppose that a week later she could disappear, unable then to make a claim for half of anything.

I might even have a good lady friend already who could help me with the police in both Thai and English, who knows?

What do I know?

[I Like Thai]

Thanks Keystone for coming back and adding more information to your story. This has been on my mind since I read this yesterday!

I wonder if you have considered that she may not have planned to leave you that day ...maybe she sold the house because she wanted/needed the money for something, but she had a deal with the new owner to rent the house, in order that you could continue to live there, without knowing she sold it? I'm sure you are taking the sale as showing her intention to leave, and even if she was plannng to leave, maybe it wasn't going to be that day and something bad did happen to her?

Or are you not worried at all that she could have some medical/mental condition that could have caused this ...I wonder how old she is? Everyone was assuming, I think, that she is about 55, but she could be 65, or more, we don't know.

Or could she have had a car accident and she is currently hidden under some jungle where she crashed? People go off the road, off cliffs, and don't get discovered immediately.

And then there is the possible crime angle, that she was a victim, maybe of someone who knew she had so much money. Maybe the shopping bag was full of cash and she was going to the bank?

Does she have her own money, her own pension, things like this, in order to support the rest of her life, in the case that she did just leave? It doesn't seem that a low price for a townhouse in Thailand, would be enough money to support a retirement, but maybe you lived in a very expensive location.

I would think all these possibilities would be driving you crazy. I am sorry this happened and feel terrible for you. And I feel bad for her too.

Hi Amykat

Let me try and answer the questions raised in your post.

The day of my wife's departure seemed like any ordinary day and it wasn't until later that day I started to get concerned. She has stayed over at her friends house before but always called to let me know.

I would also say that the same applied to my wife as she very rarely left the house other than to carry out shopping trips.

You need to keep the story straight

[MAJIC]

Two words not yet been mentioned, gambling (debts) and face.

It may well be she sold the house to fund/help out family?

Where do her family live, why not go visit?

Thanks, have already gone along that Avenue.

So, you spoke with her family!

>. My wife has no family now

But, she has NO family!?

No answer to my other questions?

By the way, where have you been "away", at the time of her disappearance? Alone? Or?

You write once,

"I was away at the time of her disappearance but noticed that she had taken my video camera (an expensive item)."

And once,

" my wife left the townhouse carrying her shopping bag.

As she didn't return later that day, I assumed she had gone to a friend's house, not far from where we lived and stayed over.

I tried to contact her by telephone but there was no answer."

If you have been away, how would you know, she carried her shopping bag?

If you had been away, how would you know, that she did not return, later that day?

The whole thing is falling apart!

I Spy with my little eye something beginning with..................

[NeverSure]

In the West when something happens to a spouse, the first suspect is always the other spouse. Always.

Who has the most to gain by not going through a divorce? Is there life insurance? Does the other spouse have assets?

The OP really doesn't seem very concerned about the missing spouse, but rather the financial ramifications. In fact he doesn't seem at all curious as to the whereabouts of the missing spouse. Odd. Very concerned about when he can get a divorce for abandonment.

He doesn't seem concerned about finding his 1/2 of the proceeds of the sale of the house. Odd.

He doesn't seem overly concerned about protecting the rest of his assets. Considered buying a condo. Not too concerned about assets in the UK.

I find it all odd.

[Yo Sup]

No, there was no such scam or kidnapping.

My Thai friends help me move all my personal effects from the house (all of which I paid for and have receipts).

Yes, I am still in Thailand and will remain so.

Whilst moving personal effects, it appears that her friends in the village knew that she had sold the house, in fact, to the next door neighbour. It was only me that was unaware of the sale.

I will today be reporting her as missing to the police and file the necessary report for their record. I will take along to the station, a copies of marriage cert (Thai/English), blue book (house now sold), her ID card and British passport, my British passport together with relevant info, i.e. Retirement extension page.

I was away at the time of her disappearance but noticed that she had taken my video camera (an expensive item).

All her clothes were left in the house.

Furthermore, I know that the proceeds from the house sale was paid to her in cash.

Most unusual and at this time, unexplained.

I will keep you informed once I visit the police station. I will have a Thai friend to accompany me.

I would not try to buy anything until the divorce is finished. She may get half of it.

I would file a criminal report about the camera and use the police to track her down, if they will. The report could be used as leverage in the divorce negotiations, if it gets ugly(er).

Stay in front of the next one financially!

Maybe TV could pin a topic about how to protect yourself financially with a Thai wife. I know there are contracts and legal agreements that have been used. A downloadable "marriage survival forms" topic would be nice. I am speaking out loud for any of you who want to nitpick.

[jbrain]

The whole thing is falling apart!

I Spy with my little eye something beginning with..................

You think we may have a familiar sounding Thailand News thread anytime soon ?

[hagler]

wow...either the longest but oh so familiar con by the wife or the shortest but oh so familiar con by the husband.

anyone taking odds?