Do You Get Mad When Your Wife/gf Speaks Thai With Another Expat/tourist?

[rct99q]

Just curious? I speak, read and write Thai (Isaan) and it has certainly helped with my marriage. My wife's English is excellent but there are still times when there is this barrier with English vocabulary that I find is easier to describe in Thai. We have avoided a few incidents of misunderstanding by my knowledge of Thai and being able to explain better than I would have in English.

As such quite often when we go out I (or my wife) always seem to act as interpreters and it seems to really piss some of the partners off (nearly all men, Western). It is not something we enjoy so try to avoid it but it always happen. Thai wife or girlfriend (mostly people we do not know) will hear us chatting in Thai (as I always need to practice) and they will start asking questions or for advice. The partners always seem to get upset asking what we are talking about, do I/we know their girlfriend etc.

I have no interest in these peoples wives/girlfriends and a lot of times give a polite smile and ask not to be involved but some Thai women do not take a polite no so easily.

So does it upset you when an expat, tourist (foreigner) talks with your girlfriend or wife in Thai and not always including you in the conversation. Some partners know excellent Thai and I find it very useful practice to talk with fellow foreigners as it helps me with my Thai, but most of the time the partners know a bit of bar Thai and that is it.

[Stradavarius37]

My wife can handle herself - I don't' need to get upset about anything.

[theblether]

I took pride when my lady was helpful to others..........it never bothered me when she blethered to expats as I would invariably be blethering to someone else.

What you really have experienced is a series of expats that are showing up their inadequacies, jealousies and insecurities.....pitiful stuff.

[Sandman77]

I not speak Isaan but with google translator iPhone and iPad is easy to talk with the people

I write something in German and the phone talk thai!

[krisb]

I not speak Isaan but with google translator iPhone and iPad is easy to talk with the people I write something in German and the phone talk thai!

no. Not really.

[robblok]

Actually I understand them, as its quite impolite to speak a foreign language in a group when one of them does not understand. But that is as far as it goes i would not care one bit but if whole conversations are held in a language excluding me i would not like it.

That was one of the reasons for me to learn some Thai.

[puchooay]

Just curious? I speak, read and write Thai (Isaan)

I am sure you can probably speak Issan Thai but you cannot read it.

There is no scripture for Thai Issan.

[keestha]

I not speak Isaan but with google translator iPhone and iPad is easy to talk with the people I write something in German and the phone talk thai!

no. Not really.

Try again. A customer of mine had downloaded a smartphone application, typed in something in English or German, and the phone spoke perfect Thai, and displayed a perfectly written Thai text. Must admit it was a simple sentence though (I will go home), not sure if it would function well with something more complicated.

[breadbin]

Not experienced what the op is saying.

I don't speak much Thai anymore.

Seems to me the op is a big head and trying to big himself up on here.

I say to him get over yourself.

[elliss]

whats the problem ,

if my darling . talks with another farang in english or thai,

no problem , they may have met before , in another ,,,,

jealousy , is a negative waste of your energy .

Edited February 27, 2013 by elliss

[rct99q]

Just curious? I speak, read and write Thai (Isaan)

I am sure you can probably speak Issan Thai but you cannot read it.

There is no scripture for Thai Issan.

We write how we speak, Thank you! which is .......in Thai - Khawpb khun Khrap.(m)........Issan - Khawpb Jai -

Same meaning written differently. Isaan is a distinct dialect and it can be written (in Thai) but spelt how it sounds in Isaan. Sorry for the confusion. But this is used by my family and not a blanket statement for the world. My statement was written not on the pretext that someone was going to challenge the as fact "there" is no written text for Isaan. You are correct there is no scripture for Isaan. But we still write it and read it to each other in our family, not yours or the neighbors or the next province or the next country.......

[rct99q]

Not experienced what the op is saying.

I don't speak much Thai anymore.

Seems to me the op is a big head and trying to big himself up on here.

I say to him get over yourself.

Not a big head - breadbin - just a family man, working and living in Thailand. Not trying to big myself, no need. But it seems I got under your skin...my apologies if in the past you have had a bad experience here in Thailand or elsewhere. Take care.

Not every poster on TV is a bad person trying to show off but I get the feeling you think so.

[rct99q]

whats the problem ,

if my darling . talks with another farang in english or thai,

no problem , they may have met before , in another ,,,,

jealousy , is a negative waste of your energy .

Thanks elliss, exactly my point. Why do people get jealous over this.And it does waste energy. A positive response to a most negative post, thank you, jing jing.

[rgs2001uk]

Just curious? I speak, read and write Thai (Isaan)

I am sure you can probably speak Issan Thai but you cannot read it.

There is no scripture for Thai Issan.

We write how we speak, Thank you! which is .......in Thai - Khawpb khun Khrap.(m)........Issan - Khawpb Jai -

Same meaning written differently. Isaan is a distinct dialect and it can be written (in Thai) but spelt how it sounds in Isaan. Sorry for the confusion. But this is used by my family and not a blanket statement for the world. My statement was written not on the pretext that someone was going to challenge the as fact "there" is no written text for Isaan. You are correct there is no scripture for Isaan. But we still write it and read it to each other in our family, not yours or the neighbors or the next province or the next country.......

We write how we speak, Thank you! which is .......in Thai - Khawpb khun Khrap.(m)........Issan - Khawpb Jai -

If by Khawpb Jai you mean ขอบใจ thats central Thai, formal and infromal.

[MrWorldwide]

I only get mad when *I* have to speak to another expat / tourist. Particularly another Australian.

[uptheos]

Maybe move this to the Thai language forum.

[villagefarang]

The way we avoid this most of the time is to separate the conversations. I talk with the farang and my wife talks with the Thai. Otherwise someone gets left out and understandably gets bored.

Sometimes I am invited by Thais for the express purpose of entertaining their Farang guest and lightening their load a bit. If the group is all Thai or all English speakers then there is no problem of course.

Yesterday was interesting though. Bumped into a couple I know but hadn’t seen for a couple of months, Thai husband and British wife, with a baby only weeks old who I hadn’t met yet. The rate at which the wife and I speak English, the husband surely has some difficulty following but it is faster and more efficient to use English, most of the time. That said we were jumping back and forth a bit to include him more in things he might be more interested in.

Fortunately we are not near a bar scene so we seldom encounter the need to engage with those involved in a temporary liaison or a relationship vastly different from what we have. I find those are often no-win situations which are best avoided.

Generally I think you have to play it by ear, with consideration for the needs of others, over your own desire to perhaps showoff.

Edited February 27, 2013 by villagefarang

[Pacificperson]

The wife speaks two languages that I do not understand. For 20+ years, there have been numerous occasions where the conversation has been lost to me. I can ask the subject of discussion whenever I want, and I will be told. If I get bored I get up and leave. No one objects. I am perfectly happy with this and it does not bother me at all.

[TommoPhysicist]

So does it upset you when an expat, tourist (foreigner) talks with your
girlfriend or wife in Thai and not always including you in the
conversation. Some partners know excellent Thai and I find it very
useful practice to talk with fellow foreigners as it helps me with my
Thai, but most of the time the partners know a bit of bar Thai and that
is it.

I don't give my wife the opportunity to interact with Thai women who have foreign male partners.

Prevents all sorts of trouble.

Edited February 27, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[pattayadingo]

If it is done to the total exclusion of another party, then it is very ignorant to do so, IMHO.

I've had it before where a group will sit talking Thai together anhd that in itself is not a problem unless it is as I said above. If I was being excluded or almost totally excluded, I'd get up, walk away and leave them to it.

[FritsSikkink]

I not speak Isaan but with google translator iPhone and iPad is easy to talk with the people I write something in German and the phone talk thai!

Google translator is crap. It wil give you very strange sentences.

It is very easy to get a laugh from somebody you try to talk too.

[FritsSikkink]

So does it upset you when an expat, tourist (foreigner) talks with your

girlfriend or wife in Thai and not always including you in the

conversation. Some partners know excellent Thai and I find it very

useful practice to talk with fellow foreigners as it helps me with my

Thai, but most of the time the partners know a bit of bar Thai and that

is it.

I don't give my wife the opportunity to interact with Thai women who have foreign male partners.

Prevents all sorts of trouble.

Got her on a chain in the kitchen?

[TommoPhysicist]

So does it upset you when an expat, tourist (foreigner) talks with your

girlfriend or wife in Thai and not always including you in the

conversation. Some partners know excellent Thai and I find it very

useful practice to talk with fellow foreigners as it helps me with my

Thai, but most of the time the partners know a bit of bar Thai and that

is it.

I don't give my wife the opportunity to interact with Thai women who have foreign male partners.

Prevents all sorts of trouble.

Got her on a chain in the kitchen?

She is Thai, she lives in a Thai village, she has no desire to mix with women of uncertain virtue or men that associate with prostitutes. (which pretty much excludes her meeting anyone I know, Thai or foreign)

Edited February 27, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[pgs]

I only get mad when *I* have to speak to another expat / tourist. Particularly another Australian.

Happily, I don't seek out other Aussies to chat with; so there is little chance of making you madder than you already are. If I wanted to chat with Aussies, I could stay in Sydney. There are still a few Aussies in Sydney, just a bit hard to find.

In another land, I expect to have time with the locals, not so much with the foreigners.

[MrWorldwide]

100% agree re. Google translate - next to useless.

Plenty of talk about Isaan Thai, Central Thai and Southern Thai on various expat fora, but I didnt quite believe that the gap could be so large until I saw it for myself. Two Isaan girls - different trips - complaining to me that they couldn't understand their own 'sisters' when we went to Chumphon and Koh Chang. The closest analogy I can imagine is this woman I worked with in the early 90s - Aussie accent became a thick Scottish brogue whenever her mother rang. It was truly bizarre.

Throw in the gals who also speak Khmer, Burmese and (so I'm told) Russian and it's an interesting Tower of Babel.

[Semper]

So does it upset you when an expat, tourist (foreigner) talks with your

girlfriend or wife in Thai and not always including you in the

conversation. Some partners know excellent Thai and I find it very

useful practice to talk with fellow foreigners as it helps me with my

Thai, but most of the time the partners know a bit of bar Thai and that

is it.

I don't give my wife the opportunity to interact with Thai women who have foreign male partners.

Prevents all sorts of trouble.

That's a good idea, as at some point, the question about how much money they get from their husband/boyfriend will be compared.

Edited February 27, 2013 by Semper

[JLCrab]

Although in the OP query I would generally be taking the part of the obnoxious farang speaking Thai with some other farang;'s female companion, I and my no English TGF adopt a routine kind of like this couple from Woody Allen's "Annie Hall". Woody as Alvy Singer:

[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street]

Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?

Female street stranger: Yeah.

Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?

Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.

Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.

Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?

Edited February 27, 2013 by JLCrab

[rene123]

rct99q, on 27 Feb 2013 - 00:58, said:

breadbin, on 27 Feb 2013 - 00:38, said:

Not experienced what the op is saying.

I don't speak much Thai anymore.

Seems to me the op is a big head and trying to big himself up on here.

I say to him get over yourself.

Not a big head - breadbin - just a family man, working and living in Thailand. Not trying to big myself, no need. But it seems I got under your skin...my apologies if in the past you have had a bad experience here in Thailand or elsewhere. Take care.

Not every poster on TV is a bad person trying to show off but I get the feeling you think so.

Don't sweat it, rct99q. Breadbin doesn't know how to write English, either.

[canuckamuck]

I do have a few western friends who speak Thai very easily and at a native pace. Sadly, my Thai is somewhere around the uncomfortably slow but passably conversational level. I accept that the fault or misfortune is mine, for being so poor at picking up the language. But I do get bothered when I am in a conversation with people that all have good English skills, but they speak in Thai and I get left out.

I also don't like it when a long conversation happens in front of me between my wife and some other Thai, and I am left guessing. But once again, it's my problem and I should study more.

[JLCrab]

What I've learned from almost 30 years of working (when I did work) in Asia/china is that when there is an extended conversation that you don't understand, usually it is of the variety of:

What'd you have for dinner last night? Meat loaf. Boy, I hate meat loaf. Same here.