Second Marriage Dowry

[lowerlakeside]

i am going to marry a Thai lady , who has been married before.Her first husband gave her family a dowry, she tells me , and expects i will do the same(about TBaht 200,000) Can anybody tell me what the "norm " is for a second marriage.

[britmaveric]

i am going to marry a Thai lady , who has been married before.Her first husband gave her family a dowry, she tells me , and expects i will do the same(about TBaht 200,000) Can anybody tell me what the "norm " is for a second marriage.

Nope you only get one shot at a dowery I'm afraid and she's already had hers.

Edited March 14, 2006 by britmaveric

[Maigo6]

My Wifes sister was married before, that finished and she now has another guy that wants to marry her, he will pay a dowry.

They are both Thai.

So I guess all cases are not the same, it's up to you.

[h90]

would recommend you kick her ass and marry a different woman.

I know a couple of farang-thai marriages and noone paied 1 baht.

A few gave her gold.

200.000 is simply crazy, or she is just 16 and you 85 years old......

i am going to marry a Thai lady , who has been married before.Her first husband gave her family a dowry, she tells me , and expects i will do the same(about TBaht 200,000) Can anybody tell me what the "norm " is for a second marriage.

[Maigo6]

200.000 is simply crazy, or she is just 16 and you 85 years old......

Then in that case, it's a bargain.

[h90]

200.000 is simply crazy, or she is just 16 and you 85 years old......

Then in that case, it's a bargain.

but at 85 it is not a long time to wait, if she is 20 and he 25 she mess up all her life....

[chuchok]

My Wifes sister was married before, that finished and she now has another guy that wants to marry her, he will pay a dowry.

They are both Thai.

So I guess all cases are not the same, it's up to you.

A fool and his money are easily parted...

[h90]

it shows clearly that not only farangs are idiots, thai men can be also idiots....

My Wifes sister was married before, that finished and she now has another guy that wants to marry her, he will pay a dowry.

They are both Thai.

So I guess all cases are not the same, it's up to you.

A fool and his money are easily parted...

[GuestHouse]

It is entirely upto you wether your choose to pay a Dowry or not. However, don't let this opportunity pass you by - You should grasp the chance to discuss money while the subject is being discussed.

Not just the Dowry, but how much are you expected to pay towards the upkeep of your beloved's parents?

And don't leave it at 'How much are you expected to pay?'. Take it further, ask how much each family member is expected to pay into the pot.

Get and understanding of exactly how far you are willing to streatch to help out - Who is, and who is not to be included under the umbrella of your largese.

Agree a number, include that in the housekeeping you give your wife and then STICK TO IT.

[tuky]

I never paid a satang, my wife told me I was expected to but I told her what I thought and that was that. However her two sisters both collected a dowry, one from a farang the other from a Jap dude.

Up2U...

(I have recently been thinking about refunding the Jap dude and claiming the wifes younger sister back again, worth it I think )

[daleyboy]

My Wifes sister was married before, that finished and she now has another guy that wants to marry her, he will pay a dowry.

They are both Thai.

So I guess all cases are not the same, it's up to you.

A fool and his money are easily parted...

Indeed mate.

I never paid a penny when we got married, the folks said they understood that i wasnt loaded and they said they were happier if we kept what money we had to stat in our new life.

We do now occasionaly send over a few baht, but that is to pay for my step daughter and her schooling clothing etc.

[naka]

I never paid a satang, my wife told me I was expected to but I told her what I thought and that was that. However her two sisters both collected a dowry, one from a farang the other from a Jap dude.

Up2U...

(I have recently been thinking about refunding the Jap dude and claiming the wifes younger sister back again, worth it I think )

Any left Tuky ?

Naka.

[Donz]

Dam, Im getting married at the end of this year and i havent been asked for a cent.

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff.

But he is loaded and im not. So i guess that makes sence.

Asking for payment for marriage is BS IMO.

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest, maybe that is the way they descuised it (i know the spelling is wrong)

[phibunmike]

Dam, Im getting married at the end of this year and i havent been asked for a cent.

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff.

But he is loaded and im not. So i guess that makes sence.

Asking for payment for marriage is BS IMO.

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest, maybe that is the way they descuised it (i know the spelling is wrong)

Donz, with your spelling mate I expect your name is really "Wilfred" but you just just wrote "Donz" by mistake.

[naka]

Dam, Im getting married at the end of this year and i havent been asked for a cent.

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff.

But he is loaded and im not. So i guess that makes sence.

Asking for payment for marriage is BS IMO.

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest, maybe that is the way they descuised it (i know the spelling is wrong)

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff. So her dad's paying everthing, right !

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest

Err, seems he's not.

The cost for the wedding is probably under 100k.

Naka.

Edited March 15, 2006 by naka

[Gary A]

Paying a dowry is a Thai custom and a dowry is expected. HOWEVER once a woman has been married and especially if she has children no dowry should be required or expected The family should pay you to take her off their hands. LOL!

My Thai wife was married before but fortunately for me she had no children. I asked her about a dowry before we were married and her reply was "WHY"! I paid no dowry nor do I support any of her family.

[h90]

not everywhere. My wife (south) told me such things do not exist anymore, very old fashion, 50 years ago..... Only people very outside, farmers, Isaan and North (what contains 90 % of all people )

I am very confused about that answer...

Paying a dowry is a Thai custom and a dowry is expected. HOWEVER once a woman has been married and especially if she has children no dowry should be required or expected The family should pay you to take her off their hands. LOL!

My Thai wife was married before but fortunately for me she had no children. I asked her about a dowry before we were married and her reply was "WHY"! I paid no dowry nor do I support any of her family.

[chanchao]

Well, let's just say that no Thai man would pay a dime for a pre-owned wife (who may even have kids!)

But, as they say, 'up to you', I suppose.

I'd explain her about www.ebay.com and suggest she may have better luck selling herself there.

Hey, might even start a new website or magazine... www.taladwife.com Quick grab the domain while it's still available.

[h90]

second hand wife for sale. In good condition, normal traces of usage. Design: small, brown color. Power save function. Mute button defective. Buyer pays for postage, Seller takes the ebay fees.

Minimum bid: 1.5 USD

Well, let's just say that no Thai man would pay a dime for a pre-owned wife (who may even have kids!)

But, as they say, 'up to you', I suppose.

I'd explain her about www.ebay.com and suggest she may have better luck selling herself there.

Hey, might even start a new website or magazine... www.taladwife.com Quick grab the domain while it's still available.

[sbk]

Dam, Im getting married at the end of this year and i havent been asked for a cent.

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff.

But he is loaded and im not. So i guess that makes sence.

Asking for payment for marriage is BS IMO.

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest, maybe that is the way they descuised it (i know the spelling is wrong)

My fiancee's father is paying for the wedding and stuff. So her dad's paying everthing, right !

Actually ive been asked to pay atleast 150000 baht for the wedding and the father will pay the rest

Err, seems he's not.

The cost for the wedding is probably under 100k.

Naka.

100,000 is certainly not alot for a big wedding.

I haven't heard of a second dowry but suggest, instead of listening to bitter, sarcastic comments, discuss this with your fiancee. Make it clear that you aren't a cash cow and set boundaries for money to be spent etc.

[Maigo6]

Well, let's just say that no Thai man would pay a dime for a pre-owned wife (who may even have kids!)

You are free to say what you want, but you would be wrong, my wifes sister has a kid and has been married, another Thai man is giving a dowry to the family, he gave it last weekend.

So when you say " No Thai Man " you really mean........ You.

[Stephen Cleary]

In proper Thai tradition, there is no 'proper' second marriage ceremony - she isnt a virgin!

A 'Phook Phor Meu' ceremony is enough. This is a basic 'kinda little marriage' ceremony where the elders will give the couple a blessing and tie a piece of string around the couples' wrist. (many of the redears here will be familiar with this). No need for any monks etc..... This is a small ceremony which acknowledges the couple live together etc.....and are accepted as a couple by the 'elders' etc..... This kind of ceremony is very cheap to set up to - no more than 20,000 baht say....

And....there is no reason for paying a dowry (she isnt a virgin).

However, if there is a big difference in age or the man has plenty of spare cash etc.....then it would be 'called - Hai Kiart' (pay honour/respect) to the parents by offering them a small 'kinda dowry'.

My wife's sister was married before, has a decent education and assets of her own ie...a couple of townhouses etc..... She just got married again a couple of years ago to a Caucasian Hong Konger, who is quite well-off. He gave 100,000 baht for 'Hai Kiart' (out of honour) but it was given out of his own free will (he is a caucasian but spent all his life in Asia so he knows Asian traditions etc...). Then again a 100,000 baht isnt that much when she is 15 years younger than him and an ex-model too!

Conclusion:

No need to pay any kind of dowry but a lot of girls (and their parents) in Thailand have been known to scam Farangs out of literally hundreds of thousands for a 'second hand' wife.

Thai men arent so dumb!

Edited March 15, 2006 by stevesuphan

[LoveDaBlues]

second hand wife for sale. In good condition, normal traces of usage. Design: small, brown color. Power save function. Mute button defective. Buyer pays for postage, Seller takes the ebay fees.

Minimum bid: 1.5 USD

Well, let's just say that no Thai man would pay a dime for a pre-owned wife (who may even have kids!)

But, as they say, 'up to you', I suppose.

I'd explain her about www.ebay.com and suggest she may have better luck selling herself there.

Hey, might even start a new website or magazine... www.taladwife.com Quick grab the domain while it's still available.

[Nickerelastic]

second hand wife for sale. In good condition, normal traces of usage. Design: small, brown color. Power save function. Mute button defective. Buyer pays for postage, Seller takes the ebay fees.

Minimum bid: 1.5 USD

Well, let's just say that no Thai man would pay a dime for a pre-owned wife (who may even have kids!)

But, as they say, 'up to you', I suppose.

I'd explain her about www.ebay.com and suggest she may have better luck selling herself there.

Hey, might even start a new website or magazine... www.taladwife.com Quick grab the domain while it's still available.

Please note: second hand wife also willing to off load / dump, offspring from previous relationships.

[Maigo6]

Please note: second hand wife also willing to off load / dump, offspring from previous relationships.

It's a burden many women have to suffer, the Husband clears off to do whatever he wants, the Wife is left with the kids, she becomes ' Second Hand ' and he just becomes just another Single guy again.

[Nickerelastic]

Do a reality check.

[chanchao]

> It's a burden many women have to suffer, the Husband clears off to do

> whatever he wants, the Wife is left with the kids, she becomes ' Second

> Hand ' and he just becomes just another Single guy again.

Yeah, I agree it sucks. However on the topic of actually asking for a bride price, that's pushing it. Indeed are Western men far more likely to accept kids from a previous marriage and even raise them as their own. That's a real asset right there, but when somone's pushing for a second dowry... Well.

[bannork]

It looks like this topic is going to crop up periodically, as I said last month my brother-in-law's daughter married for the second time recently, admittedly no children and she's still in her early 20s but he got 40,000 baht as dowry, her husband's Thai.

[mrbojangles]

It looks like this topic is going to crop up periodically,

Yep, and for the benefit of newcomers we should give our experiences

My situation, i paid no dowry, as i wasn't asked for one. I only found out about the Sin Sod afterwards. Now, there are many variations of stories but a general rule of thumb is, if she has been married before (especially if she has kids) no dowry should really be asked for. However, if your loaded why not help out, upto you? The main thing is, to discuss it before hand. Some people don't pay one but send money monthly.

As for me and the mrs, we have 12.5 rai of land that is used for growing Mango, Man Sam Palang (spelling) and breeding fish. Her family can keep any profits that are made. Therefore, we still have the land to sell at a later date and saves having to send money. I think a better investment, for me anyways

[bannork]

It looks like this topic is going to crop up periodically,

Yep, and for the benefit of newcomers we should give our experiences

My situation, i paid no dowry, as i wasn't asked for one. I only found out about the Sin Sod afterwards. Now, there are many variations of stories but a general rule of thumb is, if she has been married before (especially if she has kids) no dowry should really be asked for. However, if your loaded why not help out, upto you? The main thing is, to discuss it before hand. Some people don't pay one but send money monthly.

As for me and the mrs, we have 12.5 rai of land that is used for growing Mango, Man Sam Palang (spelling) and breeding fish. Her family can keep any profits that are made. Therefore, we still have the land to sell at a later date and saves having to send money. I think a better investment, for me anyways

Man Sam Palang is cassava, grows easily requiring little water, low price though. Has she thought about eucalyptus trees? all the current rage, but the ecology minded will object!