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Posted

"Can anyone anticipate problems I might have" ?

You mean except from posting it on a public forum with a picture of yourself ??

Relax. Thailand is very much a cash-society, so a lot of money is moved around every day in different fashions. And 500k isn't THAT much, so why the safe (!) in the car? A Tesco plasticbag and in the pocket will do the trick. When the "showing" is over, count the money, back in the plasticbag and to the bank you go, Hope your new inlaws are going to keep some of it ??

I agree with Soi41 THB500k is not a lot of cash in Thai society. I know many locals in my village who buy a 900K pickup with cash. I have not heard of any robbery during any weddings in my village either. Best not to show the safe. I think you will be the laughing stock in the village thereafter - the first farang to bring a safe (and from your description a 'portable' one) to keep his 500k safe!

Just have a buddy take 100% care of it, from the time it is out of the bank (or money changer) to the time it gets deposited back into the bank account. And make sure he or she doesn't drink on that day! Good luck and congratulations.

I am supposedly the first falang to ever set foot in this village. this village does not have any nice houses. only one nice pickup truck.

also, with all due respect.....I am not worried about what a bunch of people in an Isaan village think of me. they don't determine anything in my life. Do you think they worry about what we think of them?

thank you for the congrats and your post.

Not atall, the only people to be affected by what you do before you get back in your car and drive away are the parents and family of your wife to be, a little thought and consideration for their feelings during and after your wedding would not be amiss, after all a small Thai village is a relentless place to live if you are the focus of all the gossip and trust me they would be and for along time. A cheque and small amount of money would cause your future wifes family to "lose face" and could therefore soil future relations with you and them, also remember any deemed wrong doing by you would put excessive pressure on your wife and in turn possibly on your relationship.

The safety of your money is more important than a loss of face by them.

What about your loss of face , 500k is far to much for this type of wedding. If you show this much you'll l never get them off your back asking for money. They already think all farang are millionaires. Be wise and don't play the big shot.

Tell them you have a cashflow problem and can only get 200k, which is still above normal for a poor village in Issarn.

If they have a problem with this, its best you know now.

If you are happy with them all saying that your wife is only with you for your wealth, then go ahead and take a safe to your wedding.

I think you're right about this. Initially, her dad said $50,000 plus gold and I laughed. He didn't laugh with me. He appeared surprised and confused when I told him that all Americans are not rich, including myself. He then said Bt1m plus gold and I said no. A thai celebrity recently got married and her sinsot was Bt1m.

Regarding 500k in a safe from Bangkok? 500k isn't really that much so no worries. Don't you have your own bank account in Thailand so you could just withdraw that money from a bank nearby and just deposit it back. Never heard about a cheque but if you have doubts why continue.

Nobody will steal your money if it doesn't come from the inside within the family.

Bt500k isn't anything if sitting in a bank. It does feel like a lot when carrying it. I've never carried that much money before which is why I started this thread. I didn't know if people actually brought the full amt in cash or simply displayed their bank book, etc. Never been to a Thai wedding.

I have a little bit of doubt because I have only met about a dozen of her family members and they seem fine. About 100 people have been invited. A lot of people I've never met will be there. It only takes one or two young, stupid and desperate idiots to make an attempt. I will go forward and not worry too much, but I will be on alert.

Yes, I do have a bank acct here. Bank has a branch in nearby town. A withdrawal and prompt deposit is the plan.

I didn't take offense to her father's $50k request. I just thought it was ridiculous and funny. He knows I'm not rich. I told him.

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Posted

cheesy.gif I've seen some sin sod threads in my time. This is the funniest variation I've seen in ages though.

Taking a safe because "these people are poor" and you're worried about the "showing, handling and transporting of the money" cheesy.gif

When you say "open the safe at the wedding at the proper time and allowing the money to be spread out for viewing" are you planning to do this in front of everyone?

If you're for real, then all I'd say is do it with a big smile on your face, full of theatrics, and big bundles of notes including some small denominations in addition to 1000's so you fill the safe completely and the show lasts as long as possible.

Fletch smile.png

BTW Have to say I never even considered the risk of theft. We got back all the gold, and half of the money exactly as agreed. Really can't remember where it was kept though. I just trusted the outlaws to handle it all - as they did everything else during the day. smile.png

I'm glad you find this thread entertaining as I do with other threads. I have no experience with weddings. I've never been to one which is the reason I posted a question.

I'll do without the safe based on the agreed arrangement.

Americans are not generally accustomed to carrying cash. US society has become all but cashless. In the US, I've bought a house, truck, car, motorcycle and boat. Cash was never used to complete those transactions. There's a little bit of stigma to cash transactions. They're considered kind of shady because it leaves no record. I don't recall ever carrying more than a few hundred dollars at any given time in my life. The most I've ever carried in LOS is Bt10k. ATMs are a dime a dozen.

Posted

^^^^^^, Keith no need to apologise, all I am trying to find out is, are there Thai teachers earning 45k per month in Issan, by teacher I mean kru not ajarn.

As i say i don't know a great deal about him only he is a teacher in Sakhon.

Is he Thai or farang?

Reason for asking, I know many Thais working here in Bkk for way less than that, they would be more than happy to relocate to Issan for 45k per month, sorry if I come across as rather obtuse.

Do you know the difference between khru and ajarn?

Khru is an old word which many University lecturers prefer to be called, any teacher really is called ajarn.

Funny you should say that, when i did ask my wife the first thing she said is "they are the same", To be honest i wouldn't know the difference, but after i showed her the question she said she thought he had the impression an ajarn is the boss so he will be soon, another example of Thais not being openly able to say he's wrong i supose.

Posted

Bt500k isn't anything if sitting in a bank. It does feel like a lot when carrying it. I've never carried that much money before which is why I started this thread. I didn't know if people actually brought the full amt in cash or simply displayed their bank book, etc. Never been to a Thai wedding.

I have a little bit of doubt because I have only met about a dozen of her family members and they seem fine. About 100 people have been invited. A lot of people I've never met will be there. It only takes one or two young, stupid and desperate idiots to make an attempt. I will go forward and not worry too much, but I will be on alert.

Yes, I do have a bank acct here. Bank has a branch in nearby town. A withdrawal and prompt deposit is the plan.

I didn't take offense to her father's $50k request. I just thought it was ridiculous and funny. He knows I'm not rich. I told him.

To be honest if as you say you are the first falang to set foot in the village then i could only assume these figures that her father came out with must be based on stories that he has heard from other villages in the area.

Posted

OK. It's a learning curve for all of us. Hopefully in years to come you'll look back at some of the things you've posted and smile smile.png

A safe? Great from a practical point of view, but think about the message it might send. Particularly if you're saying you don't trust people because they're poor. That's why I suggest that if you really want to do this, try and turn it into humour and "sanuk". Thais love humour and fun, so you could do both in one go: safety and fun if you carry it off right. You get your money safe, with large bundles of cash your wife gets her face, and people get to enjoy the show and have a bit of a laugh and something to remember.

Some things that might help:

- Consider having some smaller denominations. Take a look and get an idea of what 500k looks like. There's a large element of show. So get an idea of what it looks like if say fanned out. One tip I got was to have some of it in smaller bills so you can make more of a show: some 500's and some 100s. Ask your wife on how to display it. We probably had about the same number of each. eg in your case 320 x 1000, 300 x 500 and 300 x 100. Brand new notes I took out of the bank. 5 bundles of 100k each in white notes with an elastic band doesn't make a show. Fans are common and different colours make it look nice. Don't overdo the small notes given you're already paying a large sum. Every knows or will know how much anyway, as that's one of the big questions.

- I stayed in a nearby hotel the night before so yes I did put the money in safe smile.png.

- On the day I gave the money to my friends. A couple of them had Thai partners so they all helped arrange in fans. I can't remember the exact mechanism, I think I gave it them on a tray they presented and made fans. A bit like giving your best man the ring to carry. You trust him with that. If you don't have anyone from "your side", get your wife to recommend her close friends and people she trusts.

- You want some denominations of smaller money too in addition to the sinsod. For an up country wedding, there will be like a marching procession, where they carry like a banner with music, and people follow behind you for you to walk to the bride's house or wherever the ceremony will be. As part of the procession, females in the village will form "gates" and you're expected to give them small envelopes with a small amount of money in to pass. Doesn't need to be much ask you wife. This may include young girls and kids too. So maybe a (couple of) hundred for the older ones and a few twenty's for little kids. All adds to the fun

- One of my mates was in a serious relationship with a girl, not yet married, and she brought her mum along to help. Her mum helped guide me thru things, and was viewed as my sort of senior Thai person representing me. I think she gained quite a bit of face in being a senior Thai lady representing me - so that was a win win and maybe worth asking your wife or a friend/ friend's wife/ mum. etc. Also helped I had a mate who had been thru about a year earlier who gave me a few tips and I know was looking out for me, and his wife helped us. Plus another couple of very good friends with their partners. So I sort of had "my side" with a dozen people.

- Even taking a few friends who have never been to a Thai wedding before will help. They'll support you, have a good time, experience and learn things. Thai people will tell them what to do and when to step in, and look after them.

- There was also a part of the ceremony where you sit down and people tie strings around your wrists. At the same time people presented money to you. Some are 20's from kids, some 100's some 500's and some more. That mounts up to for what you receive, and just let the family count afterwards. We kept that.(I wouldn't suggest you put that in the safe as you go along to be on the "safe" side laugh.png - sorry couldn't resist that one)

It's your day really, and everyone will want you to have a good time. Even in the UK I was more nervous as best man at my brothers wedding than at my own. People want you to enjoy it, so will allow the odd mistake as long as you're always smiling yourself, enjoying and show respect. It sort of takes on a life of its own anyway. With people contributing and doing what they want for you both.

So get a few mates involved. Ask your wife about practicalities. She'll appreciate you taking an interest and trying to learn as well. She'll know who's reliable and who's not, and can recommend people to help among her own circle. It's her special day and she wants everything to be perfect. One analogy is that Sinsod to a Thai girl is a bit like the white wedding dress to a western girl. Part of their dreams and symbolic.

Best Wishes

Cheers

Fletch smile.png

Thanks for this post. I appreciate your time in typing it out. I like the idea of getting smaller denominations.,,,the various colors of money.

Posted

^^^^^^, Keith no need to apologise, all I am trying to find out is, are there Thai teachers earning 45k per month in Issan, by teacher I mean kru not ajarn.

As i say i don't know a great deal about him only he is a teacher in Sakhon.

Is he Thai or farang?

Reason for asking, I know many Thais working here in Bkk for way less than that, they would be more than happy to relocate to Issan for 45k per month, sorry if I come across as rather obtuse.

Do you know the difference between khru and ajarn?

Khru is an old word which many University lecturers prefer to be called, any teacher really is called ajarn.

Funny you should say that, when i did ask my wife the first thing she said is "they are the same", To be honest i wouldn't know the difference, but after i showed her the question she said she thought he had the impression an ajarn is the boss so he will be soon, another example of Thais not being openly able to say he's wrong i supose.

Your wife is correct, I have never heard of a uni lecturer being referred to as kru, its ajarn.

Here in Bkk all teachers at any school I have visited are referred to as kru and not ajarn.

I suspect the reason your wife called this guy a teacher was she didnt know the word lecturer.

Certainly from the salary you mentioned, its more in line with what an ajarn would make, thats the reason for me questioning a teacher making 45k per month, most teachers can only dream of that sort of money, and many will never see it.

Posted

^^^^^^, Keith no need to apologise, all I am trying to find out is, are there Thai teachers earning 45k per month in Issan, by teacher I mean kru not ajarn.

As i say i don't know a great deal about him only he is a teacher in Sakhon.

Is he Thai or farang?

Reason for asking, I know many Thais working here in Bkk for way less than that, they would be more than happy to relocate to Issan for 45k per month, sorry if I come across as rather obtuse.

Do you know the difference between khru and ajarn?Khru is an old word which many University lecturers prefer to be called, any teacher really is called ajarn.

Funny you should say that, when i did ask my wife the first thing she said is "they are the same", To be honest i wouldn't know the difference, but after i showed her the question she said she thought he had the impression an ajarn is the boss so he will be soon, another example of Thais not being openly able to say he's wrong i supose.

Your wife is correct, I have never heard of a uni lecturer being referred to as kru, its ajarn.

Here in Bkk all teachers at any school I have visited are referred to as kru and not ajarn.

I suspect the reason your wife called this guy a teacher was she didnt know the word lecturer.

Certainly from the salary you mentioned, its more in line with what an ajarn would make, thats the reason for me questioning a teacher making 45k per month, most teachers can only dream of that sort of money, and many will never see it.

ajarn is Thai and kruu is Issan language. That's what I always thought. They both mean teacher.
  • 1 month later...
Posted

wonderful. I'm glad it worked out well for you. You did the right thing by being genrous but not too generous to the in laws. You have shown you are jaidee but not a buffalo. :D

I wish you many happy years together.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

i personally would reconsider marrying into a family with a background that necessitates you ask this question.

the safe will make you look a moron, especially if you leave it in the car.

people in thailand wear watches more expensive than 500k, it simply isnt a big deal.

besides, it is supposed to be the family's money not yours, therefore it is not about you getting ripped off, it is about them getting ripped off.

ostensibly the only ones who will know it is only for show are the family them , so if you do get ripped off, it was one of them and you have a whole new set of worries

Edited by joeaverage
Posted

Last wedding my Wife and I went to in her village,it was her Cousin marrying an 18 year old village girl,on show was 20,000 baht,the food was just as austere! so face can cost a lot less for some people!

Posted

wonderful. I'm glad it worked out well for you. You did the right thing by being genrous but not too generous to the in laws. You have shown you are jaidee but not a buffalo. biggrin.png

I wish you many happy years together.

If I can get away with a Smiley reply

Boo ... thumbsup.gif

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