I Give Up......

[theblether]

So there's me at the Muay Thai training, thinking I'm doing well learning Thai as I go along.

Sai, kwa!! sai, kwa!! sai sai sai!! ( left right left right left left left )

Sog kwa ( right elbow ) sog sai ( work it out for yourself, no one is that thick )

Anyway emboldened by my new language skills I asked a lady why whenever I say aroy mak mak ( delicious ) ladies often reply to me aroy ma. So she explained it's like very very much, and very much.

So she then taught me how to say I like to eat very much ( which is true ) so she said Schop geen mak mak. Okay......I can do.

Anyway further emboldened by my new language skills I was in my local restaurant last night, talking to the owner and a waitress with perfect English and I said......

Schop geen ma

The girl look horrified and said......you like to eat dog??

I said NOOOOOO!!!! I like to eat very much......

She said......you like to eat dog very much?? ( looking incredulous and horrified in equal measure )

Nooooo!!!!

But you say Schop geen ma......that means you like to eat dog......

No it doesn't......it means I like to eat very much

I am Thai......I speak Thai fluent, I know what you say.....you like to eat dog.

Okay, fork it......I like to eat dog, dog aroy mak mak.

Nearly passing out with shock.....she said, where you get dog in Chiang Mai?

I said Vietnam man in Soi 2, 40 baht old dog, 100 baht for puppy......mee ow kao.

You eat puppy dog?

Yes, I like puppy tail very much.

Now truly disgusted she said.......get out of restaurant, or I will phone the police.

<deleted>?......I'm finished with this language, it's just too dangerous

Edited April 12, 2013 by theblether

[iluvbeaches]

So there's me at the Muay Thai training, thinking I'm doing well learning Thai as I go along.

Sai, kwa!! sai, kwa!! sai sai sai!! ( left right left right left left left )

Sog kwa ( right elbow ) sog sai ( work it out for yourself, no one is that thick )

Anyway emboldened by my new language skills I asked a lady why whenever I say aroy mak mak ( delicious ) ladies often reply to me aroy ma. So she explained it's like very very much, and very much.

So she then taught me how to say I like to eat very much ( which is true ) so she said Schop geen mak mak. Okay......I can do.

Anyway further emboldened by my new language skills I was in my local restaurant last night, talking to the owner and a waitress with perfect English and I said......

Schop geen ma

The girl look horrified and said......you like to eat dog??

I said NOOOOOO!!!! I like to eat very much......

She said......you like to eat dog very much?? ( looking incredulous and horrified in equal measure )

Nooooo!!!!

But you say Schop geen ma......that means you like to eat dog......

No it doesn't......it means I like to eat very much

I am Thai......I speak Thai fluent, I know what you say.....you like to eat dog.

Okay, fork it......I like to eat dog, dog aroy mak mak.

Nearly passing out with shock.....she said, where you get dog in Chiang Mai?

I said Vietnam man in Soi 2, 40 baht old dog, 100 baht for puppy......mee ow kao.

You eat puppy dog?

Yes, I like puppy tail very much.

Now truly disgusted she said.......get out of restaurant, or I will phone the police.

<deleted>?......I'm finished with this language, it's just too dangerous

The tones are essential. Like in French, unless you pronounce them perfectly nobody understands you. Frustrating but it can be done. I find over enunciating the tone does the trick but it helps if you tone down your own accent if you have one.

[theblether]

I'm Scottish......I think I'm doomed

[overherebc]

A few years ago, using my best Thai, in a store, I asked for a shirt with a fifteen and a half neck size. The assistant replied in really pleasant english that they didn't sell Tigers.

Still got the shirt though.

[theblether]

A few years ago, using my best Thai, in a store, I asked for a shirt with a fifteen and a half neck size. The assistant replied in really pleasant english that they didn't sell Tigers.

Still got the shirt though.

[Rob8891]

Well done, tb... Mah can mean dog, and come or cow, too depending on the tone. There's a few more pitfalls for you....

[theblether]

Come???

I'll need to be careful with that one

[arthurwait]

Falang Thai ( no tones)

Keey ma = ride horse

keey ma = ride dog

Keey ma = Horse s**t

keey ma = Dog s**t

keey ma = very much s**t

Keey ma probably means come ride as well.

Chob gin keey ma mai ?

While on the subject 'bai kub keey' ( driving licience) does that mean 'drive ride sheet' or ' go drive s**t' I'm sure it's the second.

[theblether]

Complex eh?

Hmmmm

[Songhua]

Come???

I'll need to be careful with that one

No, you'll be fine there blether. In that context they use the word for 'arrive'. Confused yet?

[theblether]

Come???

I'll need to be careful with that one

No, you'll be fine there blether. In that context they use the word for 'arrive'. Confused yet?

Sounds like a posh bird I used to date......" I'm arriving, I'm arriving ".

I couldn't keep a straight face

[thaimite]

So is Ma Ab Nam

Come and join me in the shower or go wash the dog / horse?

[Neeranam]

theblether, on 12 Apr 2013 - 20:36, said:

I'm Scottish......I think I'm doomed

Hang in the pal - it is harder for us Scots but possible.

Try saying it like Chaawp Gin Maaak

The same as saying Mac but when you say the final 'c' make sure there is no air coming oot yer moo. Kind o swallae it.

Practice with things like "new wood doesn't burn, does it?" - mai mai mai mai mai, to practice the different tones.

Edited April 12, 2013 by Neeranam

[arthurwait]

So is Ma Ab Nam

Come and join me in the shower or go wash the dog / horse?

No it's a specialist soapy.

[arthurwait]

Just as difficult for Thai with English it seems. At an otherwise lovely restaurant we frequent, they have steamed horse c**p on the menu.

[Cobalt60]

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Neeranam]

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

fon dtok bproi bproi does mean to shower upon, or drizzly rain. Edited April 12, 2013 by Neeranam

[arthurwait]

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Cobalt60]

 

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

fon dtok bproi bproi does mean to shower upon, or drizzly rain.

 

Unless, like me, you were trying to say Ab nam at the time

[theblether]

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

fon dtok bproi bproi does mean to shower upon, or drizzly rain.

Note to self......never ever use that phrase.

[Neeranam]

Did you know 'ab naam' was the most commonly used command in Thailand?

I hear it about 10 times a day in my house.(not directed at me, btw)

[arthurwait]

I still get the piss taken for me thinking 'fon dtoc boi boi' meant to take a shower, 5 years after saying it.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

fon dtok bproi bproi does mean to shower upon, or drizzly rain.

Note to self......never ever use that phrase.

Yep and don't offer to buy gold at the same time.

[Mosha]

Depends where the people are from tb. Down here it's like you shorten the k sound

[Mosha]

If you get the tones wrong, you can ask the wife to 'Iron my tiger".

Edited April 12, 2013 by Mosha

[theblether]

If you get the tones wrong, you can ask the wife to 'Iron my tiger".

55555

I would love to have seen the look on overherebc's face if the shop assistant had handed him a tiger

[Songhua]

If you get the tones wrong, you can ask the wife to 'Iron my tiger".

'what do you want for your birthday?'

'a machine-washable tiger please'

Edited April 12, 2013 by Songhua

[SeaVisionBurma]

More banter....moving to Pub

[pattayadingo]

i gave up the nuances of Thai intonations a long time ago when a friend and I were discussing things spicy. I cannot remember the details from so long ago but the way I kept saying the phrase it related to wanting sex.

I could imagine being in the restaurant with one of those Ladyboys waiting table and asking for spicy sex.

Seems there are many pitfalls out there for us who cannot hear or speak Thai very well.

The Blether with his broad Scots accent must be as bad as me with my North East accent when trying to speak Thai.

Great tale though, Blether. Gave me a good laugh

[overherebc]

If you get the tones wrong, you can ask the wife to 'Iron my tiger".

55555

I would love to have seen the look on overherebc's face if the shop assistant had handed him a tiger

If the tiger had the young lady's telephone number on a label hanging around it's neck then I'm sure you can picture the look that would have been on my face,

[breadbin]

The op sounds like a real idiot