Taking Your Woman For Granted........?

[djlest]

hmmm different folks different stroke...

Personally i wouldn't ask my GF to do that, usually she offers and i oblige - but its not uncommon for her to order me to do things, so maybe i would if i felt i had done my fair share of jobs.
Also, for many poor isarn girls once they marry Mr Farang, they sit and do the bare minimum and no longer need to work, maybe he felt she had distributed enough of his wealth to her family members that he may as well ask for some favours in return. or maybe not? you should have asked

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

Nothing wrong at all in treating a woman as an equal.

Seems some people here only want a slave........

That a Farang husband could ever be the equal of his Thai wife - yes, that would be a thing!

Anything for a quiet wife

[laislica]

Nothing wrong at all in treating a woman as an equal.

Seems some people here only want a slave........

That a Farang husband could ever be the equal of his Thai wife - yes, that would be a thing!

Anything for a quiet wife

+1

(Sorry, I've run out of likes for today)

[shaggy1969]

Several years ago my wife and I visited a friend of her's on their farm. The group of us had several drinks when her friend's husband wanted to show me something in one of his ponds. We all took off walking down the dirt road, with his wife following us on a motorcycle with a sidecar. She had brought the ice bucket, bottles of soda water and the Sang Som. She poured all of us a round while we were out. Sad but true story.

Am not quite sure why you think of this as a sad story.

To my thinking she was just trying to be a good hostess.

[realenglish1]

Here in Thailand unfortunately woman are views as second class people at the beckon call of their husband. This is part of the womans fault along with the man. The reason They put up with it.

and if a woman speaks out a Thai man will hit the woman Try this in a western country and I can visit you in the crow bar motel. Until a society deems woman an equal Thai woman will still get a classless sloth his beer when he is a meter away from a fridge and she is in the other room.

[Vinny1967]

hmmm different folks different stroke...

Personally i wouldn't ask my GF to do that, usually she offers and i oblige - but its not uncommon for her to order me to do things, so maybe i would if i felt i had done my fair share of jobs.

Also, for many poor isarn girls once they marry Mr Farang, they sit and do the bare minimum and no longer need to work, maybe he felt she had distributed enough of his wealth to her family members that he may as well ask for some favours in return. or maybe not? you should have asked

Like I stated earlier in the thread.The woman has her own work as a source of income.

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

Several years ago my wife and I visited a friend of her's on their farm. The group of us had several drinks when her friend's husband wanted to show me something in one of his ponds. We all took off walking down the dirt road, with his wife following us on a motorcycle with a sidecar. She had brought the ice bucket, bottles of soda water and the Sang Som. She poured all of us a round while we were out. Sad but true story.

I see what you mean. What a selfish woman, letting everyone walk while she used a motorcycle! Unbelievable!

[SteeleJoe]

Several years ago my wife and I visited a friend of her's on their farm. The group of us had several drinks when her friend's husband wanted to show me something in one of his ponds. We all took off walking down the dirt road, with his wife following us on a motorcycle with a sidecar. She had brought the ice bucket, bottles of soda water and the Sang Som. She poured all of us a round while we were out. Sad but true story.

I suppose it depends on some nuances and context but that sounds pretty cool to me.

Did the woman's husband command her to do it? Was she sullen or even blank faced as she did it?

I can imagine being proud of my wife for that level of thoughtfulness and solicitude for her guests and her resourcefulness but she'd be doing it with smiles and a laugh while she dismissed everyone's protests that she was being to kind...

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Here in Thailand unfortunately woman are views as second class people at the beckon call of their husband. This is part of the womans fault along with the man. The reason They put up with it.

and if a woman speaks out a Thai man will hit the woman Try this in a western country and I can visit you in the crow bar motel. Until a society deems woman an equal Thai woman will still get a classless sloth his beer when he is a meter away from a fridge and she is in the other room.

This just isn't true.

A Thai woman will generally do whatever she thinks she should do in any given situation, and a man's instructions are rarely required, wanted or accepted.

As for hitting, just as likely to be the woman hitting the man, as the man hitting the woman from what I have seen.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/638280-udon-thani-woman-arrested-for-allegedly-murdering-70-year-old-austrian-boyfriend/

I actually wonder if you have ever been to Thailand, you certainly have never lived with a Thai woman.

Edited May 10, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Trembly]

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

True, but I wouldn't be all that keen for any children I had to be working as prostitutes in bars.

(Can't think of anywhere else a Thai lady can trash all social norms and be successful, maybe you can help me on this one)

Whatever these 'social norms' are, just paying them lip service (like with a lot of other things) is usually good enough in Thailand.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

True, but I wouldn't be all that keen for any children I had to be working as prostitutes in bars.

(Can't think of anywhere else a Thai lady can trash all social norms and be successful, maybe you can help me on this one)

Whatever these 'social norms' are, just paying them lip service (like with a lot of other things) is usually good enough in Thailand.

Some deviations from 'social norms' you just can't hide, things like marring a foreigner, having large tattoos, having babies without having a husband, etc.

[Trembly]

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

True, but I wouldn't be all that keen for any children I had to be working as prostitutes in bars.

(Can't think of anywhere else a Thai lady can trash all social norms and be successful, maybe you can help me on this one)

Whatever these 'social norms' are, just paying them lip service (like with a lot of other things) is usually good enough in Thailand.

Some deviations from 'social norms' you just can't hide, things like marring a foreigner, having large tattoos, having babies without having a husband, etc.

1. Marrying a foreigner in and of itself is no big deal . . . it's whether the foreigner is seen as a socially compatible / acceptable foreigner or not. It's not like Thai-Foreigner marriages were recently invented.

2. Large tattoos - granted, this is still very non-mainstream.

3. Having babies without having a husband . . . this is practically a social norm whatever they say - it happens. It happens a lot, and some people lose face ( or allow themselves to lose face) over it but no ones gets stone or seriously ostracised for having a child out of wedlock in this day and age. In all of Asia, contemporary Thais are probably the most cheerful about having children out of wedlock. The numbers / level of acceptance do tend to taper the higher up you go in the socio-economic order, however.

In short, there are more variables than you can shake a stick at.

How long have you spent in Thailand?

Edited May 10, 2013 by Trembly

[rolfmajestic]

You are sure that the beer was cold?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

1. Marrying a foreigner in and of itself is no big deal . . . it's whether the foreigner is seen as a socially compatible / acceptable foreigner or not. It's not like Thai-Foreigner marriages were recently invented.

What percentage of foreigners that you meet, do you find socially acceptable (to anyone)?

For me 10-20% of the foreigners that I meet may be considered socially acceptable.

Edited May 10, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Trembly]

1. Marrying a foreigner in and of itself is no big deal . . . it's whether the foreigner is seen as a socially compatible / acceptable foreigner or not. It's not like Thai-Foreigner marriages were recently invented.

What percentage of foreigners that you meet, do you find socially acceptable (to anyone)?

For me 10-20% of the foreigners that I meet may be considered socially acceptable.

To whom?

What is acceptable for Yai Mon with 7 daughters and 3 pigs in deepest darkest Kalasin may not be acceptable for Doctor Rueangsak of Thonglor. But then, maybe Doctor Rueangsak doesn't give a shit what his neighbours think, because he gets a huge kick out of seeing his only daughter happy with the young farang teacher who reminds him of himself when he was studying medicine in Michigan.

[personchester]

In normal terms the Thai wife is a general help, that is to say a housekeeper, cleans the house, does the washing, ironing, cooking,

dish washing etc ... and will of course also look after the garden.

It is in fact the same duty (except garden work) of the western wife's, in addition she might also go for him to immigration to provide his 90 days reports.

Thus during all her activities he will sit on his table drinking beer, and as we have heard he will call her to get another bottle of beer from the nearby fridge.

Well, that is his mannerism, it is rather strange and somewhat barmy, he is obviously a lazy bloke to make such a silly request and that seems to indicate that he regards his wife as a servant.

[Wat dee]

He might be one of those excel sheet guys.

[Keith67]

In normal terms the Thai wife is a general help, that is to say a housekeeper, cleans the house, does the washing, ironing, cooking,

dish washing etc ... and will of course also look after the garden.

It is in fact the same duty (except garden work) of the western wife's, in addition she might also go for him to immigration to provide his 90 days reports.

Thus during all her activities he will sit on his table drinking beer, and as we have heard he will call her to get another bottle of beer from the nearby fridge.

Well, that is his mannerism, it is rather strange and somewhat barmy, he is obviously a lazy bloke to make such a silly request and that seems to indicate that he regards his wife as a servant.

Good points.

As the OP stated his friend shouted his wife to get beers from a nearby fridge and later when the OP stood to get some more

beers he went mental at him then shouted his wife again to come down and get them.

Does this realy sound like the behaviour of a normal person? going mental at a friend for getting some beers. not to me.

The OP also stated he has not seen his friend for a number of years, is it not possible he could have a medical condition that

would lead to this kind of behaviour?

After all the OP admitted he suffered from depression if during one of his depressed times if he was asked a question and failed

to answer would we be right to label him as an ignorant bas***d? no because we don't know the facts we know only what we see

at the time.

[Wat dee]

Here in Thailand unfortunately woman are views as second class people at the beckon call of their husband. This is part of the womans fault along with the man. The reason They put up with it.

and if a woman speaks out a Thai man will hit the woman Try this in a western country and I can visit you in the crow bar motel. Until a society deems woman an equal Thai woman will still get a classless sloth his beer when he is a meter away from a fridge and she is in the other room.

Here in Thailand unfortunately woman are views as second class people at the beckon call of their husband. This is part of the womans fault along with the man. The reason They put up with it.

and if a woman speaks out a Thai man will hit the woman Try this in a western country and I can visit you in the crow bar motel. Until a society deems woman an equal Thai woman will still get a classless sloth his beer when he is a meter away from a fridge and she is in the other room.

You live in thailand ? Leally

[StreetCowboy]

1. Marrying a foreigner in and of itself is no big deal . . . it's whether the foreigner is seen as a socially compatible / acceptable foreigner or not. It's not like Thai-Foreigner marriages were recently invented.

What percentage of foreigners that you meet, do you find socially acceptable (to anyone)?

For me 10-20% of the foreigners that I meet may be considered socially acceptable.

You really do seem to mix with an unpleasant crowd. I'm glad I am not one of your acquaintances.

SC

[heybruce]

I think a lot of the foreign men who look for a wife in Thailand are momma's boys looking for a new mommy to take care of them. A lot of Thai women seem to accept this as normal, presumably they've been raised to believe that men are incompetent babies who are incapable of taking care of themselves. And of course if the man has money, having him hopelessly dependent on her works to her advantage.

Personally I don't want to be that dependent on someone else, I like being able to take care of myself. While I frequently enjoy the company of Thai women, I think living with one would be difficult.

By the way, if there are any momma's boys reading this who are also gym regulars--YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK AT THE GYM! RACK YOUR WEIGHTS YOU PATHETIC BABIES!

[Chittychangchang]

At the end of the day a thai/western relationship is the same as any multicultural relationship anywhere in the world!

It's a 50/50 partnership and anything else will eventually falter and become unsuccesful.

How many members on here have been together with their partner for 10+ years and think differently???

Yes my wife brings me a beer and i make her a mai tai. She will do the laundry and i will vacuum the carpet. It's all about your own natural compromises.

CCC

[maccaroni man]

reading post like this has taught me one thing about myself; people like the op irritate me beyound words. who are these people? what are their personal issues?

[sustento]

Doesn't the use of the term 'Your woman' imply that you're taking 'your woman' for granted?

[leeroy221]

In my house it's, 'get up and turn the light off, make me a coffee, feed the dog' .... sure, there's a bit of grumbling and so forth but I do it anyway.

im with you on that one, exactly the same in my house lol. Wife just comes from kitchen n asks me.to get a drink? Are u for real.

Goes upstairs and asks me to bring up her phone, the same phone she had in her hands 2seconds prior and left on the bannester at tthe bottom of the stairs lol

[Jayroo]

Does the wife work full time? Is she responsible for all income in the family?

If she is, then the guy should go get his own beer.

If he provides all the income, she should also provide something...

She does work.She works in some sort of medical facility.Not exactly sure what it is she does.

Does she wear a latex nurse's outfit? sorry couldn't help myself.

[pinfold]

All the western guy has done is bought himself a companion,cultural differences come shining through,whether you can put up with it is up to you

Personally I'm fed up with it,been with her four years and would like to be free,getting free is another matter.

[BradinAsia]

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

What an immature comment.

When I was in my early 20s, living in Japan married to a Japanese wife,

like an immature boy I would ask my wife to wait on me (like a maid).

She did what I asked because of the way she was raised, but problem

was I was asking her to do these things purely for my ego.

I wanted to show that I could have her at my beck & call, like a servant.

How immature and childish I was at the time. Embarrassing to even think

about it now, 50 years later.

[David48]

I think a lot of the foreign men who look for a wife in Thailand are momma's boys looking for a new mommy to take care of them. A lot of Thai women seem to accept this as normal, presumably they've been raised to believe that men are incompetent babies who are incapable of taking care of themselves. And of course if the man has money, having him hopelessly dependent on her works to her advantage.

Personally I don't want to be that dependent on someone else, I like being able to take care of myself. While I frequently enjoy the company of Thai women, I think living with one would be difficult.

By the way, if there are any momma's boys reading this who are also gym regulars--YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK AT THE GYM! RACK YOUR WEIGHTS YOU PATHETIC BABIES!

I have a new favourite poster ...

[lostmebike]

What was your friends reaction to you telling him the reason you were leaving early?

He just accepted it.I didn't tell him I was leaving because of the way he treats his wife.Just told him that I had to work.

Maybe if you told him the real reason for you leaving he would have been able to give you the reasons for him treating his

wife the way he did.

Instead you lied to him so you could leave early and then post on an open internet forum about his behavior, my opinion for

what it's worth is you are no better than him, you are supposed to be a friend and you do this he is better off without you.

Got to agree with this post.

There maybe some reasons why he treats her like this, not that I'm saying I condone it but why didn't you jokingly ask why or mention you don't get this sort of service or something like that.

And then to leave and post your experience on an internet forum seems a bit cowardly. My wife is young and educated so I'm lucky I guess but there are times I have to ask for help cleaning up the house. If you visited us, would you then post a story here of 'the dumb farang that has to ask his Thai wife for help cleaning the house'?