Maybe I Shouldn't Post This.........nah, It's Ok

[Jingthing]

...

I've known people who were pleasantly surprised after this interview -- they had overlooked things like student employment, military service and (this can be a biggie), the SS history of a former spouse. (Yes, that's right, guys can claim spousal benefits under the same rules as women) All rocks will be overturned during the initial interview.

...

Agreed he should check it out for sure. Not much to lose, so why not?

BTW, it must be nice to have those "special rights" for social security spousal survivor benefits reserved only for heterosexuals.

[puukao]

"I can't help feeling he is dealing with a similar situation himself."

This is a very good observation and let us hope that this is also not the case.

Thanks for all the replies. I will email the lady at the guesthouse and have her tell him about SSA Manilla. I think he said he worked jobs and didn't exactly report everything to the IRS. But it might give him hope. Yes, I think he is slightly suicidal, but that will likely increase as funds dry up. he has lived under a bridge for a few nights in the USA when things were tough there and before he got his inheritance. so, odds of getting 30k to fly to America with no place to go, etc.....is doubtful. I told him to fly to a warm place and go to a homeless shelter, but I could sense he didn't take that seriously.

as far as myself.....well.....I am not naïve enough to think things could get bad in a short time; however, right now I have a house paid off in a nice place in America, with an MBA I don't use (but could) and a history of 15+ years employment. a loving family with a house paid off in another part of america with substantial retirement (10k a month plus). I have a job that isn't the best, but gives me time to buy some 3k bikes and go to Thailand for 6 months and ride. I am still not immune to this, and never will be. this is my point.....as I get into my 40's...I realize how fragile life is....and this guy is healthy and smart. but the spiral downward is very bad...

I feel this guy is in Thailand to die. and I understand it, to a point. I mean, what can he do?....well, I would set up a website and try anything.....try some crowdfunding sites to raise money (maybe I will do that for him) and do a few projects that will get him interested in living...

I don't like to simply give up on someone and say, 'ah, your life is over. go to the monks....sorry, better luck next time.' or to kick him when he is down.....because I know him.

i think once he finds a passion, life will get better. and if anyone has some free time, maybe stop by (he is near Wat Phra sing) and say hi.

do 5 billion people on this planet have it worse? yea, probably.....but i know we can make this guy's life better. and isn't that all that matters?

[Mapguy]

Certainly genuine concern and some good information from NancyL in #20 above, but I am not so certain about LannaCareNet? What credentials and other qualifications, and residence in Thailand long enough to deal effectively with such problems?

Anyway, I find it very interesting that the US government is devoting so much time to such cases. I wonder how much assistance is available of the same sort for other nationals from their governments! Whoever gives advice, will this sad man or anyone else like him listen to any of it?

What are NancyL's caseworkers actually able to do? Counseling on federal benefits in America is difficult enough. She wrote of US federal law. The USA has federal laws, but they also intersect with individual state laws when it comes, for example, to health care and insurance as well as social welfare generally. Doubt that? Just look at recent news about the state of Texas, only one of several US states which have already limited or intend to limit benefits under the new health insurance assistance law known as "Obamacare."

What about all the in's and out's of social welfare policy in other countries, some of which are rapidly changing, sometimes directly affecting expatriate lost souls in Thailand? However, at the same time, I stand on what I basically said before (above): Expatriates in such condition (basically referring to most, I'd wager, who post on this forum) will do better in their home countries than in Thailand. Fundamentally, there is no "safety net" for them in Thailand.

Apparently, LannaCareNet won't rat on those who have immigration problems. I suppose that almost all who post on this site know of plenty of "under the radar" expats in Chiang Mai as well as people like the honest injuns from America who swear falsely to pensions before the US consul. I don't rat on them, but I don't give them counseling and advice, either. I have not been asked to loan money as I expect some people have been asked to do, especially in cases of health emergencies. As NancyL has written, this fellow seems one illness or accident away from being in dire straits. If someone were to ask me for a loan, however, I'd probably buy his (or her) plane ticket back home after giving him the money to straighten out problems (if any) with Thai immigration. That person doesn't belong in Thailand any longer, certainly not to be a burden upon Thailand. The right point to make, of course, is that he or she should leave before such a lose-lose situation.

I write this in full realization of the seeming contradiction with what I wrote above concerning Texas. There is basically no safety net for expatriate basket cases in Thailand except in cases where Thai family and community roots are strong. If there are other choices among LannaCareNet's "options," I'd like to know about them --- as would many others, I imagine, who need to know. Any secrets, NancyL? What are such "options," as you put it? Why should they be a mystery? LannaCareNet must certainly have some sort of standard manual for counselors. It must at least cover the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada, and New Zealand. I suspect that you will have many eager readers right here on TV Chiang Mai who wish to be clued in and who might otherwise be quite shy about contacting LannaCareNet. Strikes me as a thread that might be pinned, if LannaCareNet speaks with any authority or provides adequate references!

Do I sound less than empathetic? Probably so to many. But I am concerned. Not just about those close to or at the edge. Such people are unfortunately a weight upon those around them. It is not such a bad thing to have people like LannaCareNet (if it really knows what it is doing) or some churches or such to try to help them. Why should Thai government and institutions (such as hospitals) be expected to help --- except to help them get on the plane back to their home countries? And that's probably what LannaCareNet ought to be doing. Maybe it is!

Previously, I have pointed out an exception to being put on a plane back to to the home country. That is, when expatriates have sunk deep enough Thai and community family roots to be taken care of when needed. That does happen, but I wonder how available or dependable that care is, especially to receive the care that many expats might expect to be their due. Chiang Mai Ram would be a rare option in such cases! I am, however, much more familiar with the several wallet-sucking girl and boyfriend situations I have seen. Does that ring true to anyone?

I have also seen that many of these expats on the edge have expat friends or circles of expatriate friends who they believe will help them if in extremis. Maybe yes, maybe no. And just how much help will be given?! I have also observed that such circles of friends seem full of those with similar if not worse problems with women, money or immigration. Some safety net !!!

[rsokolowski]

I still say that this is an example of something that is easily fixable in the US, which has plenty of resources.

There is only the will or the lack of will to solve this problem that stands in the way.

I believe that situations such as you describe will be far fewer in the future when society, even in America, becomes more developed and more understanding about the root causes of poverty and lack of education and suddenly finding oneself destitute.

Too many argue that this problem is not one with which the government should become more involved.

But they would be wrong.

This is not a popular opinion in America because there are too many who do not understand that this is not socialism.

If we do not change our society in the US to better handle our changing society then some of us will be faced with some unexpected and unwanted consequences.

If you know the government is going to take care of you why be responsible? Don't save for retirement, don't invest, spend everything you earn and have a great time. This is the route many take, the government policies enable people to be irresponsible. They mean to do good, but end up encouraging poor habits.

[Mapguy]

"I can't help feeling he is dealing with a similar situation himself."

This is a very good observation and let us hope that this is also not the case.

Thanks for all the replies. I will email the lady at the guesthouse and have her tell him about SSA Manilla. I think he said he worked jobs and didn't exactly report everything to the IRS. But it might give him hope. Yes, I think he is slightly suicidal, but that will likely increase as funds dry up. he has lived under a bridge for a few nights in the USA when things were tough there and before he got his inheritance. so, odds of getting 30k to fly to America with no place to go, etc.....is doubtful. I told him to fly to a warm place and go to a homeless shelter, but I could sense he didn't take that seriously.

as far as myself.....well.....I am not naïve enough to think things could get bad in a short time; however, right now I have a house paid off in a nice place in America, with an MBA I don't use (but could) and a history of 15+ years employment. a loving family with a house paid off in another part of america with substantial retirement (10k a month plus). I have a job that isn't the best, but gives me time to buy some 3k bikes and go to Thailand for 6 months and ride. I am still not immune to this, and never will be. this is my point.....as I get into my 40's...I realize how fragile life is....and this guy is healthy and smart. but the spiral downward is very bad...

I feel this guy is in Thailand to die. and I understand it, to a point. I mean, what can he do?....well, I would set up a website and try anything.....try some crowdfunding sites to raise money (maybe I will do that for him) and do a few projects that will get him interested in living...

I don't like to simply give up on someone and say, 'ah, your life is over. go to the monks....sorry, better luck next time.' or to kick him when he is down.....because I know him.

i think once he finds a passion, life will get better. and if anyone has some free time, maybe stop by (he is near Wat Phra sing) and say hi.

do 5 billion people on this planet have it worse? yea, probably.....but i know we can make this guy's life better. and isn't that all that matters?

Wow! This guy seems to have spent his whole life in trouble. And you write with sympathetic passion for him. Unfortunately, he sounds like he has been so self-indulgent or irresponsible that he probably wouldn't really follow through on anyone's advice. If anything, it looks like he belongs back in his home country to get any help at all.

How can we make this guy's life better? Give him a loan? Did you?

[Loaded]

Has this guy not considered recovering some of his assets through the courts. I believe, if he lived with his wife/common-law-wife, he's entitled to 50% of the assets after separation. I know one farang who did this after meeting his wife on the Internet and buying the house and car before being spat out as refuse. I think he used the family court and the process was months rather than years.

I was in Airport Plaza last night sitting opposite a table with a farang man aged mid to late 50s and an 'unsophisticated' Thai woman aged at least 20 years younger. She was examining the Samsung tablet he'd just bought her. 3 hags then turned up and sat at the same table. They all ordered food which the guy paid for and left after cleaning their plates. He's probably thinking he needs to spend money to 'develop' his 'relationship', They were, I'm sure, discussing ways to hook him for the big pay day and get the house and car. He certainly won't be the only fish on their lines. But these guys are queuing up to pass over their life savings to uneducated women they meet in massage parlours, bars and the Internet.

[OldChinaHam]

"farang man aged mid to late 50s and an 'unsophisticated' Thai woman aged at least 20 years younger."

If Farang men were really interested in Thai women, then they would more often choose Thai women much closer to their own ages.

[hml367]

"farang man aged mid to late 50s and an 'unsophisticated' Thai woman aged at least 20 years younger."

If Farang men were really interested in Thai women, then they would more often choose Thai women much closer to their own ages.

What is the cutoff point? I mean when is the age difference ok? Who decides the age difference is ok?

[OldChinaHam]

"What is the cutoff point? I mean when is the age difference ok?"

Similar to what they were getting where they came from in the first place.

[NancyL]

There are quite a few options and actions available and we don't know enough about the OPs situation to go into detail about each one. It seems Puukao will advise the gentleman to contact SS in Manila, which is a good start, but a complete assessment of his situation would help him to understand other options. These include:

Registering on-line with the S.T.E.P. program so the embassy knows how to contact his next-of-kin

Assisted living at Dok Kaew Gardens

Independent living in a cottage on McKean island (with options to take meals at Dok Kaew)

Joining one of the many English-speaking AA groups in CM if alcohol is a problem

Involvement with the VFW if the gentleman is a verteran

Widening his social circle thru involvement in some of the Outside Group activities of the Expats Club -- hiking, book club, computers, bridge, etc

Review of budget and establishment of a savings plan to build a nest egg

Acquiring health insurance or at least personal accident insurance

Rebuilding bridges with family/friends in the U.S.

Repatriation to the U.S. -- with an advance plan in place about where he'll live

Counseling to deal with depression, starting with a medical assessment from a licensed psychiatrist

This is the just the start of ideas that come to mind. Getting funds from SSA is certainly a start, but based on the little we know about the gentleman it seems a complete assessment could do more than just get more money into his hands. Thus my suggestion for him to visit the website of www.LannaCareNet.org and arrange for an appointment.

I know it's going to be easy for nay-sayers to attack each specific option (i.e. "there's no way I'd return to the U.S." ..... "I don't want to have anything to do with the Expats Club", etc) but the point is that there are many options. It seems the gentleman is still able to make decisions for himself -- well, it would be good for him to understand is options now, rather than just coast along, doing nothing until he's in a crisis situation when his options will be much more limited.

[Mapguy]

Looks like a lot of good suggestions for starters from NancyL above, especially for Americans. Hope they don't just get buried here in a thread entitled "Maybe I Shouldn't Post This........nah, It's Ok." And it seems that the American consulate is helpful even if Texas doesn't yet have an embassy in Thailand with a consulate in Chiang Mai!

Some suggestions seem suited for others, such as other nationals from other English-speaking countries like the UK, Australia, Canada, and so on. Wondering where they turn for support and how much support they get.

[hellodolly]

"I can't help feeling he is dealing with a similar situation himself."

This is a very good observation and let us hope that this is also not the case.

Thanks for all the replies. I will email the lady at the guesthouse and have her tell him about SSA Manilla. I think he said he worked jobs and didn't exactly report everything to the IRS. But it might give him hope. Yes, I think he is slightly suicidal, but that will likely increase as funds dry up. he has lived under a bridge for a few nights in the USA when things were tough there and before he got his inheritance. so, odds of getting 30k to fly to America with no place to go, etc.....is doubtful. I told him to fly to a warm place and go to a homeless shelter, but I could sense he didn't take that seriously.

as far as myself.....well.....I am not naïve enough to think things could get bad in a short time; however, right now I have a house paid off in a nice place in America, with an MBA I don't use (but could) and a history of 15+ years employment. a loving family with a house paid off in another part of america with substantial retirement (10k a month plus). I have a job that isn't the best, but gives me time to buy some 3k bikes and go to Thailand for 6 months and ride. I am still not immune to this, and never will be. this is my point.....as I get into my 40's...I realize how fragile life is....and this guy is healthy and smart. but the spiral downward is very bad...

I feel this guy is in Thailand to die. and I understand it, to a point. I mean, what can he do?....well, I would set up a website and try anything.....try some crowdfunding sites to raise money (maybe I will do that for him) and do a few projects that will get him interested in living...

I don't like to simply give up on someone and say, 'ah, your life is over. go to the monks....sorry, better luck next time.' or to kick him when he is down.....because I know him.

i think once he finds a passion, life will get better. and if anyone has some free time, maybe stop by (he is near Wat Phra sing) and say hi.

do 5 billion people on this planet have it worse? yea, probably.....but i know we can make this guy's life better. and isn't that all that matters?

You did touch on a point that we don't here much about here but it is a fact. There are people who have come here to wait for death. The wait in Many parts of the western world is so expensive that they choose Thailand where they can see some of their life long dreams come to pass. I did not choose Thailand for that reason but I do leave the door open for other countries. It is that here in Thailand some of my dreams have come true. Back in North America I would probably have moved to Victoria B C a very beautiful city but not a part of my life long dreams.

I do not have an answer for your friend but once again I point out he has only so much money left. What was his plan after it ran out in the house he was living in. It would have taken a little longer but he would still have needed food and medical.

[hellodolly]

Certainly genuine concern and some good information from NancyL in #20 above, but I am not so certain about LannaCareNet? What credentials and other qualifications, and residence in Thailand long enough to deal effectively with such problems?

Anyway, I find it very interesting that the US government is devoting so much time to such cases. I wonder how much assistance is available of the same sort for other nationals from their governments! Whoever gives advice, will this sad man or anyone else like him listen to any of it?

What are NancyL's caseworkers actually able to do? Counseling on federal benefits in America is difficult enough. She wrote of US federal law. The USA has federal laws, but they also intersect with individual state laws when it comes, for example, to health care and insurance as well as social welfare generally. Doubt that? Just look at recent news about the state of Texas, only one of several US states which have already limited or intend to limit benefits under the new health insurance assistance law known as "Obamacare."

What about all the in's and out's of social welfare policy in other countries, some of which are rapidly changing, sometimes directly affecting expatriate lost souls in Thailand? However, at the same time, I stand on what I basically said before (above): Expatriates in such condition (basically referring to most, I'd wager, who post on this forum) will do better in their home countries than in Thailand. Fundamentally, there is no "safety net" for them in Thailand.

Apparently, LannaCareNet won't rat on those who have immigration problems. I suppose that almost all who post on this site know of plenty of "under the radar" expats in Chiang Mai as well as people like the honest injuns from America who swear falsely to pensions before the US consul. I don't rat on them, but I don't give them counseling and advice, either. I have not been asked to loan money as I expect some people have been asked to do, especially in cases of health emergencies. As NancyL has written, this fellow seems one illness or accident away from being in dire straits. If someone were to ask me for a loan, however, I'd probably buy his (or her) plane ticket back home after giving him the money to straighten out problems (if any) with Thai immigration. That person doesn't belong in Thailand any longer, certainly not to be a burden upon Thailand. The right point to make, of course, is that he or she should leave before such a lose-lose situation.

I write this in full realization of the seeming contradiction with what I wrote above concerning Texas. There is basically no safety net for expatriate basket cases in Thailand except in cases where Thai family and community roots are strong. If there are other choices among LannaCareNet's "options," I'd like to know about them --- as would many others, I imagine, who need to know. Any secrets, NancyL? What are such "options," as you put it? Why should they be a mystery? LannaCareNet must certainly have some sort of standard manual for counselors. It must at least cover the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada, and New Zealand. I suspect that you will have many eager readers right here on TV Chiang Mai who wish to be clued in and who might otherwise be quite shy about contacting LannaCareNet. Strikes me as a thread that might be pinned, if LannaCareNet speaks with any authority or provides adequate references!

Do I sound less than empathetic? Probably so to many. But I am concerned. Not just about those close to or at the edge. Such people are unfortunately a weight upon those around them. It is not such a bad thing to have people like LannaCareNet (if it really knows what it is doing) or some churches or such to try to help them. Why should Thai government and institutions (such as hospitals) be expected to help --- except to help them get on the plane back to their home countries? And that's probably what LannaCareNet ought to be doing. Maybe it is!

Previously, I have pointed out an exception to being put on a plane back to to the home country. That is, when expatriates have sunk deep enough Thai and community family roots to be taken care of when needed. That does happen, but I wonder how available or dependable that care is, especially to receive the care that many expats might expect to be their due. Chiang Mai Ram would be a rare option in such cases! I am, however, much more familiar with the several wallet-sucking girl and boyfriend situations I have seen. Does that ring true to anyone?

I have also seen that many of these expats on the edge have expat friends or circles of expatriate friends who they believe will help them if in extremis. Maybe yes, maybe no. And just how much help will be given?! I have also observed that such circles of friends seem full of those with similar if not worse problems with women, money or immigration. Some safety net !!!

I am quite certain Nancy

Looks like a lot of good suggestions for starters from NancyL above, especially for Americans. Hope they don't just get buried here in a thread entitled "Maybe I Shouldn't Post This........nah, It's Ok." And it seems that the American consulate is helpful even if Texas doesn't yet have an embassy in Thailand with a consulate in Chiang Mai!

Some suggestions seem suited for others, such as other nationals from other English-speaking countries like the UK, Australia, Canada, and so on. Wondering where they turn for support and how much support they get.

I have personally witnessed two different occasions where Lanna care stepped in and helped people One was helping a Danish person return to Denmark. the other two involved people in hospitals and the return of one to America with there help.

They do not loan money but they are a group of volunteers who have banded together and gone out of their way to gather details and contacts that most people are unaware of and they freely share there knowledge. They do not charge or ask for donations. They work with information and for some in hospitals I have known them to visit them also as well as provide information to get to a long term residence with staff available where needed.

I highly recommend them they will not charge you one baht in fact they even pay for there own transportation. If there is a solution they will freely give it. As far as Medical care in Texas being cut back it is still more than what this fellow will get here in Thailand and there is 50 states not just one as some Texans would have us believe. LOL

[Thighlander]

You could probably check your SS benefits online. I have state retirement funds from some short school job stints in Virginia and Arizona. I can simply go online and check it out. I could cash out and that is what they want you to do, because it cost quite a bit to keep a person on their books. It turns out, working as a substitute teacher for one school district for about 30 days total, at 85 USD per day, about 15 years ago, will pay me about 10 bucks per month, for life, at age 65. Not bad for showing National Geographic videos to Spanish speakers for 5 hours per day.

Apparently many of these retirement age flower children are absolutely horrible with money and have already squandered their inheritances (if applicable). I'm a baby boomer (barely), and my parents are Depression era. We are all good savers and lead sustainable lives. But, the older boomers? Was working with a guy, who just turned 64. He inherited 3000 shares of IBM in 1999. Some "friends" convinced him to buy some internet stocks. He lost everything. His sister was a little smarter, she put 800,000 down on a 2 million Dollar apartment building in 2006 (in a not so good part of Phoenix). Now, she is negotiating to walk away with nothing. The building is worth about 500K. I met him at a night school job, he did go back to school to teach math, and he did that for a while, but teachers fared poorly during the GFC. Part of his new job was changing diapers of autistic african american kids....for 11 USD per hour. He's now teaching English in South America, after strategically defaulting on a 50K credit card bill. He's not depressed and loves his uni job, but his story is depressing......

Something else many aren't aware of is the fact that a number of Californians that live here, were homeless and on SSI in California. California started giving SSI for conditions such as drug addiction about 20 years ago. All you needed was a desire to do dangerous drugs and a PO Box, and you could get a check for 630 per month. Now, they will give you direct deposit. So all you need is a plane ticket to BKK, and you just dramatically improved your quality of life, even though you could still be a burden on society, let alone the tax payers in the US, who are paying for your Changs.

According to Wiki, the tab for social programs in the US in 2010 was 900,000,000,000 USD. That amount alone would be the 16th largest economy in the World, behind Korea, and ahead of Indonesia.

[NancyL]

Thank you for the kind words and endorsement HD. I remember with one of those cases, LCN was first contacted by a friend of the client -- the friend was visiting the client in the hospital. The friend kept saying "I want to help, but I don't know what to do. What should I do? I don't know what to do." I sense the OP is like that friend -- wanting to help, but not knowing what to do. As HD said, the people in LCN have educated themselves about help that is available.

As for checking SS benefits on-line -- it can't be done if you're trying to reach the SSA website via a server in Thailand. It's a security measure. Even if you use a proxy server where SSA thinks you're actually in the U.S., you can't check your records if your mailing address is a Thai address. The best way to check, unfortunately, is to set up an appointment at the U.S. consulate. Nice idea, though, to be able to check on-line like Thighlander can with his private pension.

[Beetlejuice]

Some have made a few good valid points, but sadly none of this is going to help the man’s situation.

Money in Thailand is like lifeblood, once it is drained, so are you, no one will be interested and no one is going to help, which in many cases includes the ever-loving families and so-called bosom buddies and friends and other wishing you well do gooders. Pity or relying on a hope and a prayer is not enough.

My advice is this: The OP has said that his friend still has a few funds. The guy should immediately fly back to the States, preferably his hometown. He should rent some low market accommodation somewhere. The property rental arrangements can probably be arranged online while here in Thailand, in readiness so that he has immediate accommodation when he arrives back in the States. Then, the guy’s next course of action should be to seek some kind of employment, even if it means picking up cans off the street and selling them, a cleaning job, ANYTHING.

The OP`s friend has much better chances of survival back in his own country rather than living abroad. If the guy prefers not to return to the good ole USA, than it`s as we used to say in New York; it is your funeral buddy.

I am being realistic, because as the wise man says; beggars can`t be choosers. He has to take the common sense escape route, at least for the time being.

[Thighlander]

those are actually State pensions, as opposed to Federal, but they are still publicly funded. I'm not surprised about the server thing. It's a good reminder to have someone you can trust in the States, or your home country. Ignoring mail is never a good idea. There are actually humans working for SS, they have offices and emails. I would give that a try. I do know a lot of these hardship stories can be complete fiction, like the guy in Pattaya, who had 1.5 million disappear in thin air on a TT. Funny thing is, he told me the name of a different bank, than he named to a friend of mine. I had a "disabled Vet" living in a rental property, with the VA contributing about 85% of his rent. He couldn't tell me what branch of the service he was in.......

[eyecatcher]

Has this guy not considered recovering some of his assets through the courts. I believe, if he lived with his wife/common-law-wife, he's entitled to 50% of the assets after separation. I know one farang who did this after meeting his wife on the Internet and buying the house and car before being spat out as refuse. I think he used the family court and the process was months rather than years.

I was in Airport Plaza last night sitting opposite a table with a farang man aged mid to late 50s and an 'unsophisticated' Thai woman aged at least 20 years younger. She was examining the Samsung tablet he'd just bought her. 3 hags then turned up and sat at the same table. They all ordered food which the guy paid for and left after cleaning their plates. He's probably thinking he needs to spend money to 'develop' his 'relationship', They were, I'm sure, discussing ways to hook him for the big pay day and get the house and car. He certainly won't be the only fish on their lines. But these guys are queuing up to pass over their life savings to uneducated women they meet in massage parlours, bars and the Internet.

That was exactly my first reaction after reading the OP post.; but the thread seemed to take a big turn into social security discussions.

I expect many of you would laugh at the prospect being able to recover but actually its the same as the business ventures some of you "buy" with your ladys name on the paperwork.

Same as buying a house, you are NOT signing over your assets to them, but you probably think you are.

Before I even forked out a very moderate sum here to start a business; I was paranoid about losing it so i checked the situation regarding a farangs "investment"

I am reasonably comfortable that a lady cannot just evict you from your house and claim it as her own. if she cannot prove that she had the resources/assetts to buy that 2 million baht house....unless you happened to "gift" her it and put that in writing of course.

likewise they cannot sell a house and do a runner whilst you are back in farangland for a period of time.

I think the OP should lay claim to some or all of the properties; negotiate one back for himself.

I spoke to one lawyer who told me a tale of a farang who had 3 properties with his lady; went back to Europe, came back and different people were in the house, apparently sold. In the end this guy received most of his money back as the lady could not show she had made any investment into the houses whatsoever.

good luck anyway

[hellodolly]

Looks like a lot of good suggestions for starters from NancyL above, especially for Americans. Hope they don't just get buried here in a thread entitled "Maybe I Shouldn't Post This........nah, It's Ok." And it seems that the American consulate is helpful even if Texas doesn't yet have an embassy in Thailand with a consulate in Chiang Mai!

Some suggestions seem suited for others, such as other nationals from other English-speaking countries like the UK, Australia, Canada, and so on. Wondering where they turn for support and how much support they get.

Lana care dosen't care what country you are from this is just a case where the person is from the States. I have seen Lanna care help to re patriot a Dane back to Denmark.

[Jingthing]

There are probably some backwater American towns where the monthly costs might be similar to CM, assuming access to medical coverage (medicare starts at 65 and many right wing controlled states are not cooperating with expanded Medicaid/Obamacare). Also even in backwaters cheap rent in the USA is much more than cheap rent in CM. But making a living picking up cans? I don't think so. Also, cleaning. Good luck with the young blood competition for that. Sadly, peddling his bootie is also not an option.

It would be interesting to know which American backwater towns with very low costs are located in states that are opting for expanded Medicaid (for the under 65 people). It's a very big country so there are LOTS of choices.

[FDog]

"What is the cutoff point? I mean when is the age difference ok?"

Similar to what they were getting where they came from in the first place.

Where I come from my last gf was 30 years younger than me. I don't want one that young again. Current one is 24. That's young enough.

[Loptr]

I still say that this is an example of something that is easily fixable in the US, which has plenty of resources.

There is only the will or the lack of will to solve this problem that stands in the way.

I believe that situations such as you describe will be far fewer in the future when society, even in America, becomes more developed and more understanding about the root causes of poverty and lack of education and suddenly finding oneself destitute.

Too many argue that this problem is not one with which the government should become more involved.

But they would be wrong.

This is not a popular opinion in America because there are too many who do not understand that this is not socialism.

If we do not change our society in the US to better handle our changing society then some of us will be faced with some unexpected and unwanted consequences.

The US already has over 50,000,000 people on the dole. We don't need any more. Personally, I'm tired of paying for other people to survive that either won't work, can't work, or piss their money away like this fellow described by the OP. After all, why should the whole of society be responsible for those who don't have the sense to look after themselves. It goes back to the fundamental premise of survival of the fittest.

If the American cited in the OP has nothing to fall back on, no SS income in the future and is on his ass, then he does have a reason to be depressed. If he has any intestinal fortitude at all, he could pull his act together and teach English in Thailand. Bound to be a better existence than living under a bridge in the US and panhandling for spare change.

[Jingthing]

You're assuming he is qualified to teach English in Thailand. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I agree that it sounds like he has good reasons to be depressed. I wish him the best though. It's the Christian thing to do, ain't it?

[onthedarkside]

the unhelpful posts and all the answers - removed

[puukao]

NancyL, and everyone else, thanks. www.LannaCareNet.org looks like a great place for him (and others) to start. To touch on what some other posters wondered: he did hire a few lawyers, go to court a number of times, and no luck getting money and/or selling "his" property. I told him to rent it, if he could, but she lives in the house next door and .... well.... I honestly don't know why he doesn't. yes, I told him to definitely go back to America immediately, since he still has funds. and rent in Detroit, wherever. and get food stamps for a few months, whatever it takes to survive.....he listened, thanked me.

so why do I care about this one guy, and not the countless others who complain, have no money, no future, and walk aimlessly around? since I spent about 30+ hours talking to him over 6 months, I just knew in my gut when I left that he would likely be dead in the next 2 years. so I figured I would try something, and see how it evolves....

no, I didn't give him any money. would I let him stay with my family in America if he flew back? yes. for how long? well, that is the kicker....probably less than one month. that is harsh, but I would pass him off to the government while staying in contact with him. it would be the best thing for him, I think.....ah, I have no idea.

and if anyone walks near wat phra sing.....send me a message and i'll give you directions on how to meet this guy.

sorry I gave this thread such a bad title......mods, if you want, feel free to change to make it more relevant. I thought this would get 1 reply. ...

[OldChinaHam]

"sorry I gave this thread such a bad title......mods, if you want, feel free to change to make it more relevant. I thought this would get 1 reply. ... "

The reason you generated more than 1 reply is because your post touches too close to home for many, one way or another.

Still, I do like the post of BeetleJuice as well as NancyL as being the most helpful.

Not mine, of course.

[Thighlander]

I still say that this is an example of something that is easily fixable in the US, which has plenty of resources.

There is only the will or the lack of will to solve this problem that stands in the way.

I believe that situations such as you describe will be far fewer in the future when society, even in America, becomes more developed and more understanding about the root causes of poverty and lack of education and suddenly finding oneself destitute.

Too many argue that this problem is not one with which the government should become more involved.

But they would be wrong.

This is not a popular opinion in America because there are too many who do not understand that this is not socialism.

If we do not change our society in the US to better handle our changing society then some of us will be faced with some unexpected and unwanted consequences.

The US already has over 50,000,000 people on the dole. We don't need any more. Personally, I'm tired of paying for other people to survive that either won't work, can't work, or piss their money away like this fellow described by the OP. After all, why should the whole of society be responsible for those who don't have the sense to look after themselves. It goes back to the fundamental premise of survival of the fittest.

If the American cited in the OP has nothing to fall back on, no SS income in the future and is on his ass, then he does have a reason to be depressed. If he has any intestinal fortitude at all, he could pull his act together and teach English in Thailand. Bound to be a better existence than living under a bridge in the US and panhandling for spare change.

and remember, US hospitals cannot turn patients away, no matter who they are. You will get a huge bill, but if you have no assets, there ain't a goddamn thing they can do.