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You Know When You're Ready To Go To Pattaya When.....


champers

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I'm in the UK and I'm flying off to Thailand tonight and will be in Pattaya next Saturday. Last night I had a dream; now I often have dreams but don't often remember them, but I woke up remembering this one quite vividly. Was I dreaming of Ana Ivavnovic asking me to wax her bikini line? Nope. Was I dreaming of Penelope Cruz asking me to rub her back? Nope again. I was dreaming of ironing my trousers and I was really put out because instead of just one crease in my strides I had three. When do other members know it's time to go to Pattaya. What are the tell-tale signs? If anyone can interpret my dream...... please keep it to yourself.

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u know when it is time to go to Pattaya when u haven't been called a "sexy man" for YEARS in your hometown but look upon as if u are carrying the plague and u are asked if you have a senior citizen card for discounts at a restaurant.

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You know you are ready to go to Pattaya when...

  1. Whenever you close your eyes you see the girls

    on the runway at Baby-A-Go-Go 1..2..3...

  2. You realize it’s only Monday and the weekend is

    four days away!

  3. You dream of the barbequed sticky rice you can

    only find around Post Office Road!

  4. You know all the girls on Beach Road who wave to

    you from across the street!

  5. The 50 year old German topless ladies wearing

    thongs on Jomtien Beach are starting to look good!

  6. You wake up in the morning and you are alone in

    bed!

  7. The only music you like is Lam Morrison at the

    Blues Cafe on Walking Street!

  8. You want another lesson in speaking Russian!
  9. You buy a Harley and can’t decide whether to join the Jesters, Banditos, Hells Angels, Mai Pen Rai MC, Nomads or one of the 50 other motorcycle clubs there!
  10. You need to buy some good Indian Viagara!

Well done mate!

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You know you are ready to go to Pattaya when...

1, you are fluent in Russian!!!

2, you have got your 3 friends mustafa, achmed and mohammed and you all want to share that 1 ladyboy for the same price....and mohammed is paying!

3, you have sold your house in farang land and paid the now divorced wife off.....only to turn up here and let some trash mouthed peasant take control of all your finances, bought her a bar and can now only go out when she lets you or if she is with you....

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I know it's time to go to Pattaya when I find out that Hell is full.

Unlike many others, I just can't stand the place.

you are not alone yes 3 hours in walking stret to see it for yourself as a tourist then go and never return to that place as with bangla road just a piss heads dream full of trouble im a koh chang man myself peace and quite like thailand used to be 10 years ago

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I know it's time to go to Pattaya when I find out that Hell is full.

Unlike many others, I just can't stand the place.

you are not alone yes 3 hours in walking stret to see it for yourself as a tourist then go and never return to that place as with bangla road just a piss heads dream full of trouble im a koh chang man myself peace and quite like thailand used to be 10 years ago

Yeah, 3 hours in Pattaya makes you an expert on all Pattaya has to offer - NOT!!jerk.gif

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You know when you're ready to go to Pattaya when :

One morning you wake up in farangland and take a look at yourself in the mirror , you see wrinkles all over your body and you are bald and so fat that you cant move.

You want to be called a handsome man so you buy a one way ticket to Pattaya.

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I know when i am ready to go back to my home(pattaya) is when i have been in England for a few days(soon) ands i yearn for the good weather,miss my gf,stepson and cats,fed up of queuing for a pint of smoothflow,lack of attention by staff working in shops,see grumpy people all over the place,non english everywhere,expensive taxi rides by muslim taxi drivers,soaking wet and cold most days,massive traffic jams, u get the picture.

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