After-Hours Nightclub Insufficiently Shitty

[Morakot]

After-Hours Nightclub Insufficiently Shitty

ARI – Club Naughty, Bangkok’s latest after-hours nightclub, was an extreme disappointment due to its failure to be completely wretched in every way, reported late-night punter Bran Windhorst.

http://notthenation.com/2013/06/after-hours-nightclub-insufficiently-shitty/

-- Not The Nation 2013-06-04

[puck2]

.... hm, Not the Nation

[Morakot]

.... hm, Not the Nation

Ahh... an astute observation the first topical reply.

Many congratulations! You have just won a free ticket for tonight.

[Donnie Brasco]

Ah yes, Bran Windhorst.

Mr. Windhorst hung on for three weeks in our Thai language class.

After his first two or three days Windhorst would arrive although somewhat bleary-eyed for our 7:00 am start. Things went a bit sideways after that. He began by correcting other students' pronounciation and syntax. The teacher's interjections were followed inevitably by his "?duh!?" or "WHATever" and bran's signature eye-roll.

Most days, however, saw Bran doze off in class in spite of his morning Starbucks triple Mochiato and cigarette.

On Friday, Bran's invitation to several younger Korean housewives to head out that night for a bit of fun was met with confused half-smiles and a mention or two of family and husband. A particularly sharp young Japanese student responded in French that if one stood too close to Brad they'd catch a whiff of "Eau de Sac a Main de Pute". Bran took her remark as a sign of interest and pestered her with lunch invitations to share a Foodland bento-box at Starbucks.

Her heavily tatooed brother and three extravagantly coifed mates ended these entreaties by detaining Bran in the Men's while one massively scarred member of the group emptied a squeeze-bottle of home-made wasabi into Bran's nostrils and fake D&G underpants. Bran's double two-handed reverse palm pump and his screams of "What the Faaawk" caught us all by surprise as he fled the building.

Bran's second week attendance record was spotty. Late morning entrances and a Wednesday Starbucks lunch date with a heavily-pierced tequila-soaked freelancer ended badly with angry screaming demands from the young woman for three thouSAND long time and the Times Square terrace strewn with bits of Starbucks crockery, threats to find "my brother me" to "wait you apatmen".

This second week also saw other class members exchanging nervous glances as Bran argued linguistic significance of such pidgin-isms as "same-same" "boom-boom" and "I no habv money" and their variants as valid new entrants in the Thai language.

The instructor took Bran to the school director who helped him count out tuition for his remaining week and a half before walking him to the lift and out of the building. Bran was last seen arguing with two other young expats in front of Sunrise Tacos. Gatsby hair gel (he was heard to proclaim, carried every bit as much holding power as the more expensive L'Oreal formula.

The incident degenerated into poor pantomime of an MMA match until Bran's ambitious attempt at a reverse round-house kick sent him sprawling to the Tarmac where he cracked open the three large plastic containers of Audace hair gel he'd shoplifted from the soi seven Foodland and hidden in his pockets.

As a crowd had begun to gather and seeing his lower body and most of his shirt front covered with Audace and bits of plastic, Bran turned away and carefully made his way back to his soi 22 apartment.

With Bran now out of the class and things more or less returning to normal, the rest of us resumed our hours of excruciatingly boring teacher monologues regarding Thai manners and moral conduct.

[Donnie Brasco]

Humble and most sincere apologies to "David"

Edited June 30, 2013 by Donnie Brasco