Tales from the Farm ...

[David48]

Well, soon, I'll be back in Thailand, enjoying the simple life of the Farm.

Last time I was here, you guys helped me with tips and tricks to survive the Farm life ... so I'm back for more ...

The simplistic joys that await me ...

The oppressive heat and humidity that seems to invade every pore of your body,

The buckets of cold water over your back twice a day which masquerades as a shower,

... twice a day because it's so darn hot, you can't do with less then 2 wettings a day,

The luxury of sleeping on (almost) the floor boards, under the mosquito net with the fan on all night,

The joy of watching the ticks crawl across the bed sheets because the rat, sorry (lap) dog which has separation anxiety if kept away from both the girlfriend and the fan, sleeps at the foot of what should be a bed. Ha ... you call that 1 inch packed coir filled fabric a mattress ... on the floor!

The joy of being licked on the face at 3.30am because either the rat has slept all day and is bored and wants to play or needs a pee and you must play pet psychologist at 3.30 in the morning to decide which it is.

Most of the time it's a pee, so you have to pick up the rat, carry it down the stairs because the belly to paw gap (leg length) is less then the height of the stairs open the front door let the rat out to pee, you go have a slash yourself and then spend the next 15 mins getting the rat to return inside while you feed the mosquitoes by the pond.

Plod back up the stairs, plop the rat back, get a kiss of appreciation from the gf. Oh, you must be careful lifting the mosquito net, lest the chance of letting one of pesky little blood suckers into your protected domain, who will then annoy you till Sunup doing low buzzing passes over which ever ear is not buried into the pillow,

The planes flying 100 metres above the Bedroom Roof at 4am which something to behold when you are have just regained your sleep after taking the rat for a pee. Of particular joy is when the planes have to adjust their altitude higher from 50 metres above the bedroom roof to 100 metres above the bedroom roof and have to engage full thrust just after they have passed the apex of the roof, just in time to be astonished by the excellent engineering and dynamics that 4 jet engines howl as they pass over,

Can you see my fortune in the palm of gf's hand?

That was 5 mins worth at about 8pm last time here

The ritual of painting on the insectscreen before opening your eyelids so that you reduce the buffet opportunity of body parts the local but highly trained mosquito squadron have in their sights,

The joy of the squat ... nuff said,

The endless hours of entertainment to be gleaned from the ubiquitous Thai Soaps ...

The culinary delights, which have been lovingly prepared, sometimes in your honour which are still moving when placed on your plate ... or the chicken feet,

The joy of 'rice with everything',

The joy walking through the mud for 2 klms from the Farm to be able to throw your leg over the postie bike, to enjoy the game of chicken that is riding on Sukhumvit Road ... (gf's Farm is just off 'Old' Sukhumvit Road which goes from Bangkok to Pattaya)

The joy of being told by the Farm Father that something that you had been planning for 6 months to do at the Farm, some small renovations to the bedroom now can not be done ... he's changed his mind,

The feeling of good heart you have when you have shown with the 7 year old child has decided to share your entire jar of (insert expensive imported favourite food ... mine was a large jar of Peanut Butter/Paste/Jelly) with the neighbour's brat while you are having 2 nights RnR in the bliss of an air-conditioned Bangkok hotel room,

The joy of leaning on the fridge with the door open, playing detective to see what the Thai family have nicked of your food overnight.

That joy is followed by letting your grasp slide just a little over the bare metal where the paint has peeled off and understanding that the fridge does indeed leak and standing a puddle of water and touching the metal casing of the fridge is contrary to human survival in Thailand where electrical earths are often recovered for scrap and the fridge shell is live ... ... yes, that is how your eyes go when enjoy that subtle buzz in your life.

The joy of finally coming to the conclusion that what ever goes into that fridge becomes part of the communal food pool and any rites to it have been relinquished once that fridge door is closed for the first time.

The joy of taking the Farm Cat to the Vet, because the Farm Mother can't afford to Vet Bill and Farm Father says mai pben rai as it's not 'his' cat. Stemming from the joy of sitting downstairs in the breezeway, watching the cricket on the internet and the cat, so racked with pain that it simply buries it's head in a cupboard for hours on end (sure sign of domestic pet pain) and refuses to eat and over the days his ribs start to appear like an outstretched hand rubbed behind a thin curtain.

Then discovering that there is no domestic cat cage so it is upon you to wrap the cat in a towel, hop on the back of the postie bike, out on Sukhumvit Rd, one arm cradling the cat, the other holding your helmet on because the chin strap doesn't lock and holding on to the rider (gf) by your knees.

After depositing the cat at the Vet, receiving the news that the poor bugger has a 'stone' which he can't pass, hence the pain.

The joy of paying the vet bill. Actually, @ 400 baht a night on a saline drip, medicines and follow-up visits ... all up 2,000 Baht ... not a lot. My buffalo is called Chatkit (cat's name).

The joy of then buying 'special fish' at the market because the cat specifically likes them (<deleted>... we live at a Fish Farm ... ) because for the next 2 weeks we have to struggle twice a day to force the drugs down the cats' throat.

BTW ... I really liked this cat, a spottled 'ginger megs' ... a bit like me

The ...

The ... ...

Tales from the Farm

... is it too late to cash in my ticket ...

.

[David48]

From above, 2nd post otherwise the OP would be TLTR ...

Why the Bedroom reno ... ?

... because I was tired of

• the sparrows using the bedroom as their private flight path as a short cut to the lower parts of the house,
• the mosquito net which kept the gecko droppings off you while you slept
• the joy of looking up and seeing the bare roof tiles and feeling that nice warm feeling, akin to holding your hand about 3 millimetres above the hot saucepan,
• the 20 watt fluro light tucked away in low on the wall at the opposite end of the bed from where you sleep
• the one powerpoint in the bedroom ... next to the fluro
• the 30 cm air gap (no wall) between the two upstairs bedrooms so I am told not to make a noise while some horizontal folk dancing ... and blocking this gap would stop the cat at 4.15 am (just after you had got back to sleep after Airport alarm of the low flying landing Jumbo) jumping through the gap to land on TV which has the perfect acoustic drum on the plastic moulding at the back of the TV,
• the windows on one side of the bedroom which have been nailed shut because they leak water ... hence no breeze
• the ...
• the ... ...

Time to man up and paint that smile on David ...

I don't actually live in Issan, but on a Farm at Samut Prakan ... but the conditions here are akin closest to what I imagine in Issan, hence why I seek your company.

Mod's, this is about living on a Farm, not Farming issues, so I hope it's OK to leave this here.

Guys, just here to share/swap Tales from the Farm.

If you have a story to tell ... I'm a listening ...

.

[h90]

how about finding a rich girlfriend with a new weekend house on some nice beach instead?

OK OK why I didn't???

[DILLIGAD]

Do yourself a favour and rent a hotel room and visit the village as and when.

Its a much better idea for your wealth and health.

[David48]

Thanks for those recommendations ...

MissFarmGirl may have something to say about the above suggestions!

Seriously though ... that's how we started.

But we are past that now.

Cheers for the suggestions though.

.

[sirchai]

We'd just spent a weekend at the village a few weeks ago ,where I'd lived for one year many moons ago.

A big party for grandma, as one of the uncles had built a nice Isaan style, but unbelievable comfortable and I'm sure expensive house, as all's made from finest material.

"Your friend Satien Tamm Mue" is here" said my wife. Didn't believe it until we sat there with him and drank finest French Brandy, old red wine and a food service did all to fill up our stomachs with all sorts of delicious food in the middle of nowhere.

A waitress looked very lost as she had no idea how to get the Cork out of the wine bottle. A little course in how to open a bottle of wine makes people smile. No, everybody's smiling.

I walked through the village for a while and thought about some good guys who had to leave this planet too early. "Joy" was into Lhao kao, so Lung "Hui" and I made a tour and drank a small bottle as we did back in the old days.

The fact that everybody respects you gives you a good feeling. You're actually at home and a part of the family, a part of the village society. Almost everybody wants you to come to their house to eat, drink and have a chat.

My dog comes home from the rice fields and greets me waiving its tail. The girl from the shop next door grew up, you start looking at her long legs.....

The Morlam girls look better and better after more alcohol........

But you eat at home....

Then the news. They'd planned a football game and made me to the goalkeeper of one team. People made their fun of me,as many don't know how difficult it can be to run with an artificial knee joint.

The little school received a computer, printer and other useful stuff. Wife drove home that day and memories end.

My team had lost, but we fought and the tricot at home reminds me of that nice weekend. Life could be worse.- .

Edited August 7, 2013 by sirchai

[Michael Hare]

We'd just spent a weekend at the village a few weeks ago ,where I'd lived for one year many moons ago.

A big party for grandma, as one of the uncles had built a nice Isaan style, but unbelievable comfortable and I'm sure expensive house, as all's made from finest material.

"Your friend Satien Tamm Mue" is here" said my wife. Didn't believe it until we sat there with him and drank finest French Brandy, old red wine and a food service did all to fill up our stomachs with all sorts of delicious food in the middle of nowhere.

A waitress looked very lost as she had no idea how to get the Cork out of the wine bottle. A little course in how to open a bottle of wine makes people smile. No, everybody's smiling.

I walked through the village for a while and thought about some good guys who had to leave this planet too early. "Joy" was into Lhao kao, so Lung "Hui" and I made a tour and drank a small bottle as we did back in the old days.

The fact that everybody respects you gives you a good feeling. You're actually at home and a part of the family, a part of the village society. Almost everybody wants you to come to their house to eat, drink and have a chat.

My dog comes home from the rice fields and greets me waiving its tail. The girl from the shop next door grew up, you start looking at her long legs.....

The Morlam girls look better and better after more alcohol........

But you eat at home....

Then the news. They'd planned a football game and made me to the goalkeeper of one team. People made their fun of me,as many don't know how difficult it can be to run with an artificial knee joint.

The little school received a computer, printer and other useful stuff. Wife drove home that day and memories end.

My team had lost, but we fought and the tricot at home reminds me of that nice weekend. Life could be worse.- .

Thank you for sharing.

[David48]

Michael Hare above, beat me to it.

Great story ... sirchai ... ... thanks for sharing.

.

[daboyz1]

We'd just spent a weekend at the village a few weeks ago ,where I'd lived for one year many moons ago.

A big party for grandma, as one of the uncles had built a nice Isaan style, but unbelievable comfortable and I'm sure expensive house, as all's made from finest material.

"Your friend Satien Tamm Mue" is here" said my wife. Didn't believe it until we sat there with him and drank finest French Brandy, old red wine and a food service did all to fill up our stomachs with all sorts of delicious food in the middle of nowhere.

A waitress looked very lost as she had no idea how to get the Cork out of the wine bottle. A little course in how to open a bottle of wine makes people smile. No, everybody's smiling.

I walked through the village for a while and thought about some good guys who had to leave this planet too early. "Joy" was into Lhao kao, so Lung "Hui" and I made a tour and drank a small bottle as we did back in the old days.

The fact that everybody respects you gives you a good feeling. You're actually at home and a part of the family, a part of the village society. Almost everybody wants you to come to their house to eat, drink and have a chat.

My dog comes home from the rice fields and greets me waiving its tail. The girl from the shop next door grew up, you start looking at her long legs.....

The Morlam girls look better and better after more alcohol........

But you eat at home....

Then the news. They'd planned a football game and made me to the goalkeeper of one team. People made their fun of me,as many don't know how difficult it can be to run with an artificial knee joint.

The little school received a computer, printer and other useful stuff. Wife drove home that day and memories end.

My team had lost, but we fought and the tricot at home reminds me of that nice weekend. Life could be worse.- .

Nice photos.

[soihok]

I miss my time spent in and around the village.

But alas, I need to work, as hanging around the village doesn't pay for my retirement, school fees, Mrs Soihok's shopping escapes,

Look forward till the next time I'm back - wild pig anyone?

Cheers.

[KuhnPaen]

From my time in Sisaket:

1. Having the village elders think I am good luck because when I came it began to rain after a long drought.

2. Driving through police checkpoints on my gf's pink Hello Kitty scooter.

3. Going out for a morning smoke and looking up to see my banging hot 20 year old neighbor taking a full nude-not shy bath-outside (yes, she's a girl)

4. Coming back from the main town (30 min away), with the scooter loaded with snacks, coke, toilet paper,toys--and feeling like Santa Claus.

5. walking around the village by myself and hearing kids scream "farang!!!"

6. Frog hunting at night with a light on my head and a sharpened stick.

7. Being chased by mercurial water buffalo.

8. Watching my gf forage and spot fruit in trees so far away when I can see nothing but green

9. Wanting a coconut and having my gf climb the tree like a monkey to get me one.

10 Waking up to the acrid smell of a wood burning stove on the ground and the breakfast that blows away anything I get in BKK.

11. Seeing a sky full of stars every night, and having someone I love to share the view with.

Edited August 8, 2013 by KuhnPaen

[paulchiangmai]

David48, I would willingly put up with all that just to get to watch the cricket, you lucky bugger.

[paulchiangmai]

From my time in Sisaket:

1. Having the village elders think I am good luck because when I came it began to rain after a long drought.

2. Driving through police checkpoints on my gf's pink Hello Kitty scooter.

3. Going out for a morning smoke and looking up to see my banging hot 20 year old neighbor taking a full nude-not shy bath-outside (yes, she's a girl)

4. Coming back from the main town (30 min away), with the scooter loaded with snacks, coke, toilet paper,toys--and feeling like Santa Claus.

5. walking around the village by myself and hearing kids scream "farang!!!"

6. Frog hunting at night with a light on my head and a sharpened stick.

7. Being chased by mercurial water buffalo.

8. Watching my gf forage and spot fruit in trees so far away when I can see nothing but green

9. Wanting a coconut and having my gf climb the tree like a monkey to get me one.

10 Waking up to the acrid smell of a wood burning stove on the ground and the breakfast that blows away anything I get in BKK.

11. Seeing a sky full of stars every night, and having someone I love to share the view with.

I don't believe number 3, however if you have photographic evidence then I might.

[bob4you]

What a wonderful thread, and you realize how lucky you are and would not trade the life back home with wife/GF your own age.

[SSSlongtime]

build your own space ,its all a lot cheaper than the west ,yes live in issan , westerner wc ,hot water shower AC BBC ,more luxury than i had in england at half the cost

[retell]

man you better off sleeping in a tent

and buy some frontline drops for the dog

the vet should have them

Edited August 8, 2013 by retell

[DILLIGAD]

man you better off sleeping in a tent

and buy some frontline drops for the dog

the vet should have them

The Thai version is much cheaper than Frontline.

[swissie]

build your own space ,its all a lot cheaper than the west ,yes live in issan , westerner wc ,hot water shower AC BBC ,more luxury than i had in england at half the cost

This clearly shows, that there are still folks living in the Sherwood-Forest in the UK.

Cheers.

[David48]

man you better off sleeping in a tent

and buy some frontline drops for the dog

the vet should have them

Guys ... the posts before this ... all liked, and most likely will run out of likes before sundown here.

Great stories .. all positive ... just how they should be ... LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE.

But this post does deserve a personal reply ...

Stories from the Farm ...

The Farm Top Dog.

No-one takes him on ... packs of 5 others I have watched bark madly ... but from a distance and as he moves closer ... they keep their distance.

Pulled maybe 100 ticks off him day 1 ... some inside his ears .. must have hurt ... I'm no delicate surgeon ... never flinched.

Just now, someone letting off fireworks and he's straight to door to the FarmHouse where I'm sitting and tentatively comes inside. He NEVER comes inside. Waits by the kitchen door patiently till the Family's finished eating and awaits the scraps.

Someone lets off a few fireworks to scare the cormorants from fishing the Farms Ponds.

He's (apologetically) inside.

Strange that a pack of dogs doesn't faze him, 100 or so ticks don't slow him down ... but a few crackers ...

I gave him comfort (companionship) for maybe 15 mins until his perceived danger was over.

Up he pops and outside again.

He's a smart dog ... if only I could train him to get the broom and scoop to tidy up the mud that he just tracked into the House!

Oh ... and the 4 swollen ticks that dropped off, because we gave him the tick medicine yesterday.

So, retell, we are trying both the chemical application and me getting in there with a pair of tweezers and simply pulling the buggers of him.

For some background ... I-never-really-appreciated-dogs-until ... starts as ...

I never really appreciated dogs until I came to Thailand.

Growing up in the burbs we always had cats, small yard and all that, so I never grew an appreciation for the canine variety.

The gf's parents Farm where I stay sometimes has a variety of dogs common to Thailand. Many are adopted or rescued muts who found life at the Farm more bearable then on the streets.

Keep the stories coming ... be they sad or cheerful.

This thread ... just a place to chew the fat ...

.

[KaronSteve]

This happened around 10 years ago when I was living in a village on the outskirts of Nakhon Si Thammarrat.

One of my brother in laws liked his fishing as do I. In those days I had a pick up which he was always trying to borrow to sneak off fishing without me but I would never lend it to him again after he borrowed it once to go into town and came back 4 days later. So now he was stuck with taking me along.

Rods and tackle were loaded along with a couple of his mates so off we went south from the village to a fairly wide river. One of these mates is a very good fisherman and he was taking us to one of his special spots. We stopped at a market on the way and they bought stuff which I assumed was food but I didn't know as I stayed in the truck. Later I found out it was the bait...and they didn't ask me for money.

When we got to the river we started tackling up the rods which to me were 10 foot carp rods. They gave me a heavier weight than I have used before and a very large treble hook on a thick wire trace again which I have not used before in Thailand. Then they gave me a raw chicken quarter and when they saw I had no idea that this was the bait they hooked it on. What were we fishing for?

We all cast in and in true fishing style we waited and we waited. After a few hours my line started running out and I was told to wait before I struck.

Wallop I was in and this thing that I hooked was very heavy and ponderous so not a pacu or catfish. It took a lot of getting in but eventually it was tired and came into the bank. I lifted it's head and a crocodile was looking at me! I bricked it because this creature was looking mightily pissed off. Brother in law and cronies were laughing their heads off at my expression....cnuts! Eventually one of them pulled out a handgun and shot the beast.

When they brought their rods in not one of them had bait on.

Brother in law had had his revenge and a good laugh but I still wouldn't lend him my truck.

[KuhnPaen]

From my time in Sisaket:

1. Having the village elders think I am good luck because when I came it began to rain after a long drought.

2. Driving through police checkpoints on my gf's pink Hello Kitty scooter.

3. Going out for a morning smoke and looking up to see my banging hot 20 year old neighbor taking a full nude-not shy bath-outside (yes, she's a girl)

4. Coming back from the main town (30 min away), with the scooter loaded with snacks, coke, toilet paper,toys--and feeling like Santa Claus.

5. walking around the village by myself and hearing kids scream "farang!!!"

6. Frog hunting at night with a light on my head and a sharpened stick.

7. Being chased by mercurial water buffalo.

8. Watching my gf forage and spot fruit in trees so far away when I can see nothing but green

9. Wanting a coconut and having my gf climb the tree like a monkey to get me one.

10 Waking up to the acrid smell of a wood burning stove on the ground and the breakfast that blows away anything I get in BKK.

11. Seeing a sky full of stars every night, and having someone I love to share the view with.

I don't believe number 3, however if you have photographic evidence then I might.

Just what's burned in my memory. I don't think a camera would have been appropriate in that situation--but I have some shots from a hotel room I can share.

[swissie]

By all means: Let those "Farm-Stories" come. Just daily life stories, originating from Thailand.

Tourist-Hub Stories, in my humble view, can not qualify as "Stories from Thailand."

This must be correct, because the Abbot of my local Wat has confirmed this view after I have given him a contribution of 1000 Bht. Amen.

Cheers.

[sirchai]

We just moved into another house in the middle of a city, but we don't really have neighbors there.Thought it would be a nightmare moving all the furniture, but it turned into a much better deal. No cars, no small Soi, two carports. No noise.Two bathrooms for the same rent we'd paid for a little shag before.

Took only a few rides to bring all our stuff to the new place.

The neighbors opposite our place have two little girls, around three, who're pretty sweet and funny.

I sat there outside surrounded by trees and plants,, wrote some school bs on the weekend watching my wife cracking a coconut she'd taken from a tree next to our house.

The neighbors ducks, chicken, dogs and even some cats became our daily guests.Should also mention their pet, a little pig....

Just thinking how life back in Europe would be now, makes me happy to be where I am. Then the two little girls from opposite to their mom:

" Mae, Mae, Ngu Ghin Gopp, Ngu Ghin Gopp.!!!" ( Mom,a snake wants to eat a frog)

Again the same warning, but mom only says: " Chan mai chorb luk phuut maak, logo go hok duai! "( I don't like it when my kids talk so much and also lie to me.)

The kids then pointing in a direction, where a huge snake had already started to swallow a frog.....

The mother took a piece of wood, hit the snake's head hard and the frog could disappear.The frog hops away in the wilderness.

The snake landed in a Wok and it seemed that it was a tasty one. Gave me a great idea about my life and how fast it could be over.

The Archa beer tasted even better then. The steak made by my wife from Chockchai farm in Korat, bought at Big C tastes like the best I ever had.

My lesson this week was about a snake that got eaten by a frog.Life's fun. Could be worse somewhere else.-

Edited August 8, 2013 by sirchai

[David48]

KaronSteve and sirchai ... great contributions ...

As I settle in, I'll have a few more Tales from the Farm.

.

[sirchai]

By all means: Let those "Farm-Stories" come. Just daily life stories, originating from Thailand.

Tourist-Hub Stories, in my humble view, can not qualify as "Stories from Thailand."

This must be correct, because the Abbot of my local Wat has confirmed this view after I have given him a contribution of 1000 Bht. Amen.

Cheers.

1000 baht isn't really much to make the down payment for a Lear Jet.-

[Cuban]

Laying in the back of a truck loaded with rice-straw with wife and a selection of kids and one of our dogs en-route bouncing between fields during harvest time - totally brilliant.

Catching escaped pigs, less brilliant.

[swissie]

By all means: Let those "Farm-Stories" come. Just daily life stories, originating from Thailand.

Tourist-Hub Stories, in my humble view, can not qualify as "Stories from Thailand."

This must be correct, because the Abbot of my local Wat has confirmed this view after I have given him a contribution of 1000 Bht. Amen.

Cheers.

1000 baht isn't really much to make the down payment for a Lear Jet.-

No this is not an Abbot of the Lear-Jet Kind. He waits patiently till school is out (around 4 PM) to have the scholars carted off with a 3-wheeler to conduct "in depth-studies" as far as Buddhism is concerned. Daily. And everybody knows about it. The reward: If long attendance is upheld, the winning lottery numbers will be forthcoming.

The students enlisting to those "in dept-studies" are between 10 and 14 years of age. I guess one can't start early enough with any "enlightenment-process" as long as it is linked to Buddhism and takes place in the quiet surroundings of a Buddhist temple.

The TIT (this is Thailand) will not work much longer for me.

Cheers.

Cheers.

[KaronSteve]

Swissie,

"The students enlisting to those "in depth-studies" are between 10 and 14 years of age. I guess one can't start early enough with any "enlightenment-process" as long as it is linked to Buddhism and takes place in the quiet surroundings of a Buddhist temple."

Do you mean like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZwlpaYGWHeM

[sirchai]

Swissie,

"The students enlisting to those "in depth-studies" are between 10 and 14 years of age. I guess one can't start early enough with any "enlightenment-process" as long as it is linked to Buddhism and takes place in the quiet surroundings of a Buddhist temple."

Do you mean like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZwlpaYGWHeM

Didn't you know that these are the Anti opposite gender thinking techniques?

Indeed also the newest Anti computer game breathing technique to be enlightened after only three years or more, or both.-

Edited August 9, 2013 by sirchai

[KaronSteve]

One afternoon after a long session on the Chang with the father in law, brothers in law and village layabouts and after much sign language or miming it was decided that the following day at 3pm we were going “pheasant” shooting. I know it was “pheasant” as that is what I drew in the sand.

Most unusually my host and guide arrived on time and in the bed on the pick up truck was another guy who was introduced as Mah . We drove less than a mile around to the back of the village onto the road which goes through the rice paddies.

Within minutes we pulled to a stop and I was told to roll the window down whereupon my host produced a .22 rifle which he aimed across me at something out in field. After squinting down the barrel the only thing I could see was an egret all by itself in the paddy field. Sure enough he shot it and told Dog to go fetch. Faithful man that he was he went off at a trot through the mud and retrieved the egret. We continued along this road for a few kilometres popping off at egrets and herons until we lucked upon the prize of the day....a dove. Again he aimed and I immediately thought “<deleted> is he doing?!?!” as the dove was perched on the roof of a sala outside of someone's shack and in the sala was the whole family having a scoff. 4 shots he had at that dove and still didn't hit it. The dove was completely unperturbed so he must have been missing it by a fair margin and still the family munched on. He decided that 4 shots was enough and we turned off on another little road and found more egrets. In one spot where he shot at and missed an egret Gran and Grandad were faffing about in the mud whilst he popped off at the egret which was no more than 25 yards from them and slightly behind.

Enough was enough so I mimed “beer Chang” and off we sped back to the house. When we arrived the women came out and relieved us of our mixed spoils of heron and egret.

I got the Chang out and as we sat in the sala these dishes of wickedly spicy curry, which I love, came out but I had sussed what the meat part was and thought to myself no way am I eating that so I just had a token taste which turned out to be a good decision as the whole family had the trots the next day and spent all morning playing musical toilets.