Farang V Farang Why are we ignoring each other?

[asiaexpat]

It seems a shame that one must have some reason to be polite and friendly when we see another person, farang or not. I enjoy walking down the street with a smile and giving a wai, a smile , a nod, or hello to people as I see them. It's a little unnerving to me when someone, especially a farang, crosses the road just to avoid some small form of recognition that they are alive, human and in the same space.

[villagefarang]

I had a little time to kill yesterday, waiting for my wife. While sipping my coffee, I turned my attention to the interactions of others as they went about their business in the mall.

I witnessed several people light up when they saw someone they recognized but I didn’t see anyone walking around saying hello to every stranger they passed. It struck me that the bigger the crowd, the more withdrawn and smaller people make themselves.

I suspect that might be one reason why people join clubs, groups or organizations. They are setup and designed to facilitate meeting people with similar interests. Except for people trying to sell you something, one seldom sees strangers interacting on public streets.

It is possible to meet people in public places but it usually happens on the quiet fringes, perhaps standing in line or conveniently sitting at adjacent tables in a coffee shop. Even then one needs to read the openness of the other individual. A full on frontal attack is likely to be rebuffed even by outgoing individuals.

Asking people to put their busy lives on hold to cater to the needs of a lonely stranger pacing the streets looking for friends, might be asking a bit much. Perhaps all those people missed out on meeting a wonderful person, but looking at it in a different way, perhaps you lucked out by not meeting a nutcase you thought looked harmless.

[snake24]

TS is actually basing it on race. Ignoring the fact that there are other foreigners that are not farang and of course thais themselves that might be from another province, village and let's be honest most thais in bangkok are from another region.

There really isn't a need for a farang to see another farang and of course both of them are almost 99% of the time foreigner in thailand being so obviously foreign to acknowledge each other cos both of them happen to be foreign cos that's the only thing they would most likely have in common. Foreigners. That's it.

Does it really make any sense at all to say hi to a stranger all because he kind of looks like you?

Farangs have so many different cultures and languages too so it's not like they are all actually similar to one another. I doubt it.

[rott]

I had a little time to kill yesterday, waiting for my wife. While sipping my coffee, I turned my attention to the interactions of others as they went about their business in the mall.

I witnessed several people light up when they saw someone they recognized but I didn’t see anyone walking around saying hello to every stranger they passed. It struck me that the bigger the crowd, the more withdrawn and smaller people make themselves.

I suspect that might be one reason why people join clubs, groups or organizations. They are setup and designed to facilitate meeting people with similar interests. Except for people trying to sell you something, one seldom sees strangers interacting on public streets.

It is possible to meet people in public places but it usually happens on the quiet fringes, perhaps standing in line or conveniently sitting at adjacent tables in a coffee shop. Even then one needs to read the openness of the other individual. A full on frontal attack is likely to be rebuffed even by outgoing individuals.

Asking people to put their busy lives on hold to cater to the needs of a lonely stranger pacing the streets looking for friends, might be asking a bit much. Perhaps all those people missed out on meeting a wonderful person, but looking at it in a different way, perhaps you lucked out by not meeting a nutcase you thought looked harmless.

Exactly <deleted> are you on about?

Did you even read the OP?

Nobody is talking about "meeting" anybody, nobody is asking anyone to put their life "on hold", nobody is talking about a "full frontal assault".

The OP is simply bemused that an ethnic minority member, when seeing another ethnic minority member, in an area where such sightings are fairly rare, will go to extreme lengths to avoid making eye contact.

He does not epect the other e.m.m. to:-

Become his new best friend,

Become any sort of friend,

Engage in a lengthy personal conversation,

Exchange phone no's,

Exchange addresses,

Invite him to come and meet the family,

Invite him to tea or Sunday lunch etc., etc.,

Neither is he suggesting that a farang in say Sukhumvit, Patpong, Pattaya, Phuket should go about greeting every farang he sees.

Possibly the posting of supercilious drivel helps you maintain your superiority complex, or possibly you simply did not understand the point the OP was making. Some people agree with his point, some disagree, many unwittingly or deliberately misinterpret it and gob off about nothing.

[Oishii]

I had a little time to kill yesterday, waiting for my wife. While sipping my coffee, I turned my attention to the interactions of others as they went about their business in the mall.

I witnessed several people light up when they saw someone they recognized but I didn’t see anyone walking around saying hello to every stranger they passed. It struck me that the bigger the crowd, the more withdrawn and smaller people make themselves.

I suspect that might be one reason why people join clubs, groups or organizations. They are setup and designed to facilitate meeting people with similar interests. Except for people trying to sell you something, one seldom sees strangers interacting on public streets.

It is possible to meet people in public places but it usually happens on the quiet fringes, perhaps standing in line or conveniently sitting at adjacent tables in a coffee shop. Even then one needs to read the openness of the other individual. A full on frontal attack is likely to be rebuffed even by outgoing individuals.

Asking people to put their busy lives on hold to cater to the needs of a lonely stranger pacing the streets looking for friends, might be asking a bit much. Perhaps all those people missed out on meeting a wonderful person, but looking at it in a different way, perhaps you lucked out by not meeting a nutcase you thought looked harmless.

Exactly <deleted> are you on about?

Did you even read the OP?

Nobody is talking about "meeting" anybody, nobody is asking anyone to put their life "on hold", nobody is talking about a "full frontal assault".

The OP is simply bemused that an ethnic minority member, when seeing another ethnic minority member, in an area where such sightings are fairly rare, will go to extreme lengths to avoid making eye contact.

He does not epect the other e.m.m. to:-

Become his new best friend,

Become any sort of friend,

Engage in a lengthy personal conversation,

Exchange phone no's,

Exchange addresses,

Invite him to come and meet the family,

Invite him to tea or Sunday lunch etc., etc.,

Neither is he suggesting that a farang in say Sukhumvit, Patpong, Pattaya, Phuket should go about greeting every farang he sees.

Possibly the posting of supercilious drivel helps you maintain your superiority complex, or possibly you simply did not understand the point the OP was making. Some people agree with his point, some disagree, many unwittingly or deliberately misinterpret it and gob off about nothing.

Well said that man. +1

Sex: The most fun you can have without laughing. Woody Allen.

Sent from my iPad with Retina display, using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[villagefarang]

Whatever I was doing, I wasn’t insulting anyone. What I was doing was addressing several posts by asiaexpat, including the one directly before mine. Perhaps if I had been a little more vulgar and insulting, my words would have been more palatable.

[MrWorldwide]

I'm happy to be ignored by most males, Thai or Farang, and I'm especially keen to avoid anyone who approaches me within 50 feet of an ATM. Might be different if I lived in Nakhon Nowhere, but I have no immediate plans to settle in a small village.

To be blunt, most people bore me witless, including that clown in the mirror each morning

[AnotherOneAmerican]

It seems a shame that one must have some reason to be polite and friendly when we see another person, farang or not. I enjoy walking down the street with a smile and giving a wai, a smile , a nod, or hello to people as I see them. It's a little unnerving to me when someone, especially a farang, crosses the road just to avoid some small form of recognition that they are alive, human and in the same space.

You wai strangers in the street?

How do you tell their social class without first speaking to them?

And without knowing their social class, how would you know if you should wai them first, or they should wai you first?

Or are you admitting to be so low class everyone is above you, so you should always wai first?

[Oishii]

It seems a shame that one must have some reason to be polite and friendly when we see another person, farang or not. I enjoy walking down the street with a smile and giving a wai, a smile , a nod, or hello to people as I see them. It's a little unnerving to me when someone, especially a farang, crosses the road just to avoid some small form of recognition that they are alive, human and in the same space.

You wai strangers in the street?

How do you tell their social class without first speaking to them?

And without knowing their social class, how would you know if you should wai them first, or they should wai you first?

Or are you admitting to be so low class everyone is above you, so you should always wai first?

Are you suggesting that we ignore others unless we can be certain of their social standing and then only nod, say "hi" or wai them? This sounds like bigotry to me.

Sex: The most fun you can have without laughing. Woody Allen.

Sent from my iPad with Retina display, using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[The International Farang]

I really do not need to know all foreigners I come across.

However, for example, other parents in the kids‘ school, I do acknowledge, regardless knowing them or not. We have something specific in common.

Being German, I deliberately stay as clear as I can from most of my fellow countrymen. Too small of a chance that we think alike.

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Hmm, might be because a fair amount of German's are kinda 'declawed and toothless' folks these days with a marxist-mentality.

In general i find the most friendly farang's tend to be the Scandinavian / Norse folks.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

It seems a shame that one must have some reason to be polite and friendly when we see another person, farang or not. I enjoy walking down the street with a smile and giving a wai, a smile , a nod, or hello to people as I see them. It's a little unnerving to me when someone, especially a farang, crosses the road just to avoid some small form of recognition that they are alive, human and in the same space.

You wai strangers in the street?

How do you tell their social class without first speaking to them?

And without knowing their social class, how would you know if you should wai them first, or they should wai you first?

Or are you admitting to be so low class everyone is above you, so you should always wai first?

Are you suggesting that we ignore others unless we can be certain of their social standing and then only nod, say "hi" or wai them? This sounds like bigotry to me.

I'm suggesting there are so many nutjobs around, you shouldn't talk to strangers unless you are armed.

PS. Thai wai is all about social status, I guess you didn't notice.

[beautifulthailand99]

Who are all you people and what are you doing on my computer.

[Somchai Mao]

I get more pleasure from speaking with the local lady making som tam than I do talking to some know all farang who thinks Thailand revolves around him. I've met some great guys in Thailand but have sadly met some complete tools. Life is too short to be wondering what camp they will be in. Speaking to a Thai you are almost certainly guaranteed a smile, you can improve your language skills and don't have to worry about them telling you they are ex-SAS. Besides, there are that many farang in Thailand it would be ridiculous to acknowledge every single one.

[Stradavarius37]

OP - I'm ignoring you right now lol

[manxninja]

farangs and Thais should all be ignored. I find that walking around with tin foil wrapped around my head keeps anyone from talking to me.

[mgjackson69]

I make no more and no less effort to talk to "farang" here in Thailand than I do anywhere else in the world....which is to say, not much.

If someone makes eye contact and gives a nod, I will do likewise, perhaps even say "Hello". But usually I just mind my own business.

I do not buy into the "we're all in this together" mentality...that applies to flight delays/cancellations, shipwrecks, etc etc etc. Living in Thailand is something that some of us have voluntarily chosen to do...it does not make much sense to me to view that as a hardship, and that I need someone to commiserate with.

Too many times, as soon as soon as some (non-USA citizen) "farang" figures out I am from USA, I have to listen to their diatribe about how terrible my country is, their bullshit about my elected leaders, etc.

If I wanted constant communication/interaction with farangs I would just stay in USA.

[PaullyW]

I make no more and no less effort to talk to "farang" here in Thailand than I do anywhere else in the world....which is to say, not much.

 

If someone makes eye contact and gives a nod, I will do likewise, perhaps even say "Hello". But usually I just mind my own business.

 

I do not buy into the "we're all in this together" mentality...that applies to flight delays/cancellations, shipwrecks, etc etc etc. Living in Thailand is something that some of us have voluntarily chosen to do...it does not make much sense to me to view that as a hardship, and that I need someone to commiserate with.

 

Too many times, as soon as soon as some (non-USA citizen) "farang" figures out I am from USA, I have to listen to their diatribe about how terrible my country is, their bullshit about my elected leaders, etc.

 

If I wanted constant communication/interaction with farangs I would just stay in USA.

Excellent post, and I am on the same wavelength. However, this, if you will, liberal attitude almost certainly contributes to many negative things here. Such things as our lack of power (in numbers), an easy target for exploitation in some cases, ect. How lucky many of us are, though, to be able to really not give a toss about such things. True freedom always comes at a price, one only some are willing to pay.

[forumuser10]

Why would I want to say hi to a person just because he is white!?

If I do not know a person, and there are no specific reason why I must get in contact with that specific person, why would I want to say hi to him?

No reason to say hi to a foreigner, just because he is a foreigner.

[forumuser10]

I think the question is, why should a Westerner acknowledge another Westerner simply because they are both 'farangs' in a foreign land? If you don't know the person, and you wouldn't acknowledge them back home, then why would you do so here?

I run golf events for expats (Westerners) here, so I have met and become friends with 100s of them; but it was the events that brought us together; I didn't go chasing them down in the street.

If there is any common ground between such foreigners in a foreign land, then they will come together; if there is no common ground, then there is no real reason why they should.

OK. I give up. If I meet you in the street or in a shop, I'll ignore you. I'll just count you and add you to the list of "Miserable Farang" I keep on my toilet wall.

I think you are missing the point. 'Farangs' is a very broad term and includes many different nationalities. Do I need to list them? To expect a farang walking down the street in Bangkok to start aknowledging all apssing farngs is as absurd a proposition as expecting all 'Asians' to start cosying up to each other in a queue at the Eiffel Tower or the Sydney Opera House. Utterly ridiculous and for many 'farang' (God, I hate that term) who may have been in Asia for a very long period, may have more in common with the locals than they do with someone who has just arrived on a package tour from Bristol or Kansas or Canberra. As human beings what most often draws us together is 'likeness' and just because we are farangs/westeners does not necessarily make us alike.

Please also feel free to add me to your wall of shame. It sounds like there might be some other like-minded souls there.

I totally agree with this statement.

[stiggy]

If I want to meet people westerners or Asians alike, I will go and put myself in a situation where I can.

When going about my normal business, I simply don't feel the need to greet every other westerner I see why should I ?

From experience most that do this are just after confirmation of how great or lucky they are for simply living here, or after something from me.

A person in need of help wouldn't be ignored,however a grinning guy trying desperately to say hello for no reason, would generally be avoided for reasons stated above.

Bottom line a lot of expats are settled, and do not see you or other westerners as any different to any other person in the street.

[rott]

Mr Johnson, forumuser10 and stiggy do you ever read posts before you respond?

The whole point was not about talking to strangers in Bangkok but about one farang acknowledging another (or not) in a place where such sightings are rare, i.e. in a place where farangs are very few and far between.

I am also unsure why mgjackson chose to bump up a 10 week old thread that he obviously had not bothered to read and post a load of irrelevant dross.

Edited November 21, 2013 by soundman
Hard to read. Changed font to normal.

[scotbeve]

Ya know...... you all are trying to read WAAAAY too much into this. Been here for a lonnnnnnnnnnng time and - yes, I asked the same question(s) as many of you have (or will soon ask in the future). Sometimes ya just gotta throw your arms up in the air, make a strange face (don't get LOUD), shrug your shoulders, and say "EFF IT!!!" The world is going to hell in a handbasket this way and that way.... get over all the pettiness and foibles and enjoy life whilst it's still worth enjoying.

[rott]

Sorry, I omitted GeorgeO from the above post.

[jpeg]

If I was in some small town and hadn't seen a gringo for weeks, then yes i might be happy or enthusiastic to see one, strike up a conversation if they seemed friendly.. talk about our shared experience of being out by ourselves with no-one sharing our culture.

But there are almost 100,000 of us in Bangkok, i see dozens every day so its nothing special to me. We don't have that shared experience, Bangkok is extremely foreigner-friendly and there is never that feeling of isolation or being alien.

So in that case its not much different from being in a city back home. I wouldn't nod at strangers back home in the UK, why would i do it here.

Whilst there is some merit in this post, this a topic done to death. From the blatant ignoring (by some, by no means all), I would say it's some addled lost the plot farang saying 'Look! I'm more Thai (no don't laugh) than you are and I only acknowledge Thais with my piss poor Thai language skills

Edited November 26, 2013 by jpeg

[jpeg]

Why would I want to say hi to a person just because he is white!?

If I do not know a person, and there are no specific reason why I must get in contact with that specific person, why would I want to say hi to him?

No reason to say hi to a foreigner, just because he is a foreigner.

I think you and a lot of other posters are missing the point. It's not just some other farang going about their business but the blatant cold shouldering and occasional stink eye.

[jpinx]

Why would I want to say hi to a person just because he is white!?

If I do not know a person, and there are no specific reason why I must get in contact with that specific person, why would I want to say hi to him?

No reason to say hi to a foreigner, just because he is a foreigner.

I think you and a lot of other posters are missing the point. It's not just some other farang going about their business but the blatant cold shouldering and occasional stink eye.

The cold-shoulder comes from those who have something to hide --- which is a fairly big %age of farangs in Thailand Those of us with nothing to hide are fairly sociable. I would say hello to a farang just as readily as I would say hello to a thai in similarly appropriate circumstances.

[balo]

I greet the soi dogs instead .. imo much nicer company than grumpy expats.

[Evergreen]

Well i certainly do not have the "problem" of talk or not to talk to a random "farang"....here in Kamphaeng Phet i think i am the only one around!

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[Madgee]

I like to think I'm quite a sociable guy, I will always say morning to my neighbours if I see them or at least acknowledge their presence. If I'm walking around the town, I'll certainly acknowledge any foreigner I encounter with a morning or a slight nod of the head if eye contact is made. I'm not going to cross the street and introduce myself but does it do any harm to release a slight smile, nod of the head or even a 'hi' ..... is it really that hard?

If the place was swarming with foreigners then it's a different story but here, although there are quite a few expats and very few tourists, I honestly thought that a little civility would not go amiss amongst fellow expats. The amount of times I've been given the cold stare of, 'how dare he look at me and think he has got the right to even say hi'.

Maybe it's me, I don't know and I don't really care......................I will always be the same.

[Ace of Pop]

If your with the Mrs and the Ferangs with his Thai Mrs add at least another Hour to get out of Lotus Car Park.