Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.


Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old
white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next
day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd
and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is
soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you
know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor
approached the side of his car.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I
walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence ..
'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin??'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked
me straight in the face and said:

'A pumpkin?

Shit ... is it midnight already?'


The court (and the judge) could not contain their mirth.


The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as
'Best come-back line ever.'

Good one

Serious laugh out loud

Nice but old. Here and here.