Money. Who pays the bills? How much do you give your partner?

[quiuvo]

10,000 to 20,000 baht is what a lot of Thai people make. I hang out with the 30 to 60K Thais . My live-in girl gets 10k. And I pay for everything. It is a great arrangement. So far....

[falkan]

Hmm this thread got slightly derailed but interesting nonetheless. For my position having been scammed after 9 years of marriage (the ex now in prison) and left to care for my several children (which is a wonder for me not a hardship except financially where formerly everything was 'kushdie') and with no assets left as they have all been defrauded, living with a partner and discussing finances is difficult, especially as I am in my later years. With children herself and an ex who couldn't give a dam_n, what could be expected as a contribution from her to our whole family expenses? Maybe nothing since she has to help out with cooking and cleaning for all of us?

you sounds like the standard expat down at the bar!

in the start i felt sorry for you guys being tricked, but now days i just laugh at you, did you guys forget to check out your brain when you arrived to thailand?

please share you story? let me guess bar,issan,sick family?

don't do the same mistake twice!

[falkan]

10,000 to 20,000 baht is what a lot of Thai people make. I hang out with the 30 to 60K Thais . My live-in girl gets 10k. And I pay for everything. It is a great arrangement. So far....

you hang out with the 30 to 60k but still ended up with a low-so 10k ?

[quiuvo]

10,000 to 20,000 baht is what a lot of Thai people make. I hang out with the 30 to 60K Thais . My live-in girl gets 10k. And I pay for everything. It is a great arrangement. So far....

you hang out with the 30 to 60k but still ended up with a low-so 10k ?

She made 30k. She prefers this arrangement. Oh, and the higher income are guys. The VP of a school wanted to be my partner but she is too busy to be a "housewife."

[smotherb]

I am happy to see your post. I was beginning to think everyone was in some sort of business deal with their lover. I have been married three times; two to Southeast Asians, once to a Westerner. All of them have had college educations and good jobs. One even makes more money than I--and it isn't the Westerner. With all of them, we shared everything. I had no chldren with the first two, so when we divorced we simply settled it ourselves and got a common lawyer for the paperwork--no alimony, no ruffled feathers. I am still married to the third, and she is still my soulmate, we share everything. Oh, and a great sidebar, all four of us are still friends.

Just wondering here, did you think 1 and 2 were your soul mates and you got it wrong twice?

If so how do you know number three isn't a mistake too?

Alternatively, were 1 and 2 just time killers while waiting for your soul mate?

That would seem a bit unkind for 1 and 2.

No, I thought number 1 was a great piece, number 2 a better woman than any of my friends' wives, but number 3 was the charm--34 years now, still waiting for the mistake.

[HardenedSoul]

This post is just silly on so many levels.

Yep, men come to Thailand seeking young pretty SLIM women, same for old and young men.

It's just the young men have to go home after their holiday money runs out.

They aren't interacting with a better quality of woman, they just aren't experienced enough (or here long enough) to recognise that.

The truth is too many MEN enter into relationships with women where they will be stripped of everything they have.

The ugly truth is, in almost every heterosexual relationship, the usual flow of money is from the man to the woman. By the end of the relationship, she has made a net gain, he has made a net loss.

Good luck getting that Korean pop star, Koreans wouldn't look twice at a Thai girl, they want a Korean girl.

In the end everyone who wants a relationship, has to settle for what they can get.

You make the bet and take your chance. Don't let your fear put you off.

I don't think there's that much of a difference between the older and younger guys when it comes to making bad decisions with women.

Young men rock up here on holiday, fall in love, go home, then send money to "keep her out of the bar: . . . yadda-yadda.

Old men rock here to retire, meet a woman, offer to take care of her and her slothful offspring's financial obligations in return for a regular shag, a fair approximation of a full English each morning and her ability to swing a feather duster from time to time.

Where you'll find the difference is after the shit inevitably hits the fan.

The young guy eventually realises that his teerak is still going to Insanity, Spicy and Climax 4 times a week to solicit business. He's gutted and feels like a total muppet but hey, she's thousands of miles away and Thailand wasn't the real world. He's got all the time in the world to get over the emotional aspect and it's not as if he isn't working so the 100,000 baht or so he sent over the course of the year will be forgotten in no time.

The old guy, on the other hand, has an entirely deeper and darker shade of shit to wade through. Emboldened by his "knowledge" of women garnered over 40 or 50 years of marriage, affairs and girlfriends etc, he was over-confident when he thought he could spot a timewaster a mile off. Turns out he cocked it up royally.

He's built a house in her name and and decked it out with the latest mod cons, he's putting the daughter through college and he's bought the son a Fino. Recently though, she's been distant and argumentative - he can't seem to do anything right. The family all speak Thai around him and he's sure he can hear the word "kwai" mentioned in every other sentence but surely they can't be talking about him.

Eventually, he gets left kerb side. The house is hers and that motorbike taxi guy who was always hanging around is blasting her through the headboard every night. He's lost a small fortune and his pension ain't up to much without the lump sum he's more or less given away.

It's gonna take him a whole lot longer to get over this

[pigeonjake]

the young guy old guy raises its head again in a couple of posts,

can some one please tell me,,

when an older guy gets with a lady say she is 25 he 50, right.

many on here would say she is after money,,

then take a man of 30 with a lady who is also 30,,

is she after money too?????

what age to you think,, she wont be after his money??

and as some know on here im 53 and mac my wife is 28,

our pigs keep us and when our daughter is old enough for school, ill pay for that being her father,

if we have a new tv or fridge to buy i buy it,

but for everyday things, the pigs pay for them

jake

[JLCrab]

Ergo from above, when in Thailand, whatever you think you got, that ain't it.

[smccolley]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

What happens when or if you lose your job or income ? First i was thinking that you must be a Troll .Then i remember a documentary i saw on Youtube about an English man who did the same as you .As somebody already said try and find your balls ,before it is too late .

I guess I don't see it that way. If I lose my job I will have to get a new one, how does who has ATM cards matter then?

She is a fine money manager, I travel 3-4 weeks a month and come home on the weekends, all I want to do is relax not worry about bills. They are all paid and there is money left. She has access to my 3 accounts in Thailand, but I still have US accounts and a broker in the US. She could take it all and next month I wouldn't notice it... For 7 years however she has accounted for all the money she has spent however and I can't find fault in that.

I think "getting a set of balls" is not really a valid statement, if I happen to have found a money manager that is my wife, how is that a bad thing?

[FiftyTwo]

The old guy, on the other hand, has an entirely deeper and darker shade of shit to wade through. Emboldened by his "knowledge" of women garnered over 40 or 50 years of marriage, affairs and girlfriends etc, he was over-confident when he thought he could spot a timewaster a mile off. Turns out he cocked it up royally.

While I agree with most of your post, I think you made a mistake here.

Most older men (like me) haven't really had much experience with women.

We all managed one wife in the west, which seriously hosed us in the divorce.

And some of us have had an affair or two on top of that.

That doesn't really give us any more chance of dealing with the Thai lady, than the young guy has.

Thailand, you can have a different girl every week (or every night) if you want, totally different game, completely new set of rules. Most western men have never experienced anything like this before.

But many of us 'old farts' are fortunate in that we have pensions, and apart from this month's money, they can't take any more. It gives us a certain financial resilience that you don't mention.

PS

Private or Company pension max lump sum = 25%

State pension, no lump sum.

Edited October 28, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[tukadadoll]

Gotta love the Thai's...They have absolutely no problem asking "How much do you make?", " Nice car, how much did it cost you? Nice House, how much did you pay?" In the States we consider such questions RUDE!

But here we are in Thailand ....so gotta put aside our western ways (sometimes) as we are in Thailand! Seems to me that the Thai's are kinda like curious children sometimes not recognizing the rules of life or even thinking about it ....it might give them a headache...

Oh Well

And do you think they answer truthfully? I have been in LOS for fifteen years, and can listen to a Thai or Issan conversation without difficulty. Some of the answers I have heard to these questions, from mine and others around her, are unbelievable, literally!

[HardenedSoul]

the young guy old guy raises its head again in a couple of posts,

can some one please tell me,,

when an older guy gets with a lady say she is 25 he 50, right.

many on here would say she is after money,,

then take a man of 30 with a lady who is also 30,,

is she after money too?????

what age to you think,, she wont be after his money??

and as some know on here im 53 and mac my wife is 28,

our pigs keep us and when our daughter is old enough for school, ill pay for that being her father,

if we have a new tv or fridge to buy i buy it,

but for everyday things, the pigs pay for them

jake

It's not necessarily a young guy/old guy thing. Both make moronic mistakes with women

The older a guy is compared to his Thai wife/GF/partner, the more likely he is to be compensating her financially.

Any guy - young or old - wanting a real-world answer, might I suggest they try the following:

1. Go see your wife now

2. Sit her down and, with a solemn look on your face, say "I've got some disturbing news" or some paraphrase to that effect so she can understand you

3. Tell her the money's dried up, the party's over and the stipend is pretty much history

4. Reassure her that the scale and depth of your mutual love will sustain you both through the hard times to come

5. Come back here and tell us what happened

Will she be willing to keep cooking, cleaning and enduring your sexual administrations without the benefit of your money?

Some will undoubtedly be just fine but I can see a lot of older guys being bounced out onto the street.

[JLCrab]

Some people say the glass is half empty; some people say the glass is half full. And some people just like to piss in someone else's glass.

Edited October 28, 2013 by JLCrab

[anto]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

What happens when or if you lose your job or income ? First i was thinking that you must be a Troll .Then i remember a documentary i saw on Youtube about an English man who did the same as you .As somebody already said try and find your balls ,before it is too late .

I guess I don't see it that way. If I lose my job I will have to get a new one, how does who has ATM cards matter then?

She is a fine money manager, I travel 3-4 weeks a month and come home on the weekends, all I want to do is relax not worry about bills. They are all paid and there is money left. She has access to my 3 accounts in Thailand, but I still have US accounts and a broker in the US. She could take it all and next month I wouldn't notice it... For 7 years however she has accounted for all the money she has spent however and I can't find fault in that.

I think "getting a set of balls" is not really a valid statement, if I happen to have found a money manager that is my wife, how is that a bad thing?

Thats different as you have a/cs in he US that she can not get her hands on .The English man i saw in the youtube video ,did not work and had all his savings in Thailand .His Thai wife took the lot as he let her have access to his a/c and put the house and farm in her name .

[smccolley]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

What happens when or if you lose your job or income ? First i was thinking that you must be a Troll .Then i remember a documentary i saw on Youtube about an English man who did the same as you .As somebody already said try and find your balls ,before it is too late .

I guess I don't see it that way. If I lose my job I will have to get a new one, how does who has ATM cards matter then?

She is a fine money manager, I travel 3-4 weeks a month and come home on the weekends, all I want to do is relax not worry about bills. They are all paid and there is money left. She has access to my 3 accounts in Thailand, but I still have US accounts and a broker in the US. She could take it all and next month I wouldn't notice it... For 7 years however she has accounted for all the money she has spent however and I can't find fault in that.

I think "getting a set of balls" is not really a valid statement, if I happen to have found a money manager that is my wife, how is that a bad thing?

Thats different as you have a/cs in he US that she can not get her hands on .The English man i saw in the youtube video ,did not work and had all his savings in Thailand .His Thai wife took the lot as he let her have access to his a/c and put the house and farm in her name .

Yeah, I make decent money now, since I arrived with 2k USD in 2006 we bought a house (her name), a truck and 2 bikes (my name), had 2 kids that are starting school and don't lack for anything, all with her managing the money. The fact is the money train can leave the station any time and I won't be any worse for wear. The most she can get out of me is the house and a half million baht or so. I'll be fine in a month.

The question I was responding to is - how much do I give her a month. I give her the paycheck. She makes sure I have beer, computers and clothes for work, and takes care of the rest. Most of my bonuses are paid into my US accounts. So simple.

[pigeonjake]

the young guy old guy raises its head again in a couple of posts,

can some one please tell me,,

when an older guy gets with a lady say she is 25 he 50, right.

many on here would say she is after money,,

then take a man of 30 with a lady who is also 30,,

is she after money too?????

what age to you think,, she wont be after his money??

and as some know on here im 53 and mac my wife is 28,

our pigs keep us and when our daughter is old enough for school, ill pay for that being her father,

if we have a new tv or fridge to buy i buy it,

but for everyday things, the pigs pay for them

jake

It's not necessarily a young guy/old guy thing. Both make moronic mistakes with women

The older a guy is compared to his Thai wife/GF/partner, the more likely he is to be compensating her financially.

Any guy - young or old - wanting a real-world answer, might I suggest they try the following:

1. Go see your wife now

2. Sit her down and, with a solemn look on your face, say "I've got some disturbing news" or some paraphrase to that effect so she can understand you

3. Tell her the money's dried up, the party's over and the stipend is pretty much history

4. Reassure her that the scale and depth of your mutual love will sustain you both through the hard times to come

5. Come back here and tell us what happened

Will she be willing to keep cooking, cleaning and enduring your sexual administrations without the benefit of your money?

Some will undoubtedly be just fine but I can see a lot of older guys being bounced out onto the street.

Some will undoubtedly be just fine but I can see a lot of older guys being bounced out onto the street.

so your saying it would just be the old guy bounced out on his ear?

im not arguing, i do agree with a lot that you say on here,

but it wouldnt just be the old guy, if the relationship was just about money, young bucks get ripped off too,

[AYJAYDEE]

the young guy old guy raises its head again in a couple of posts,

can some one please tell me,,

when an older guy gets with a lady say she is 25 he 50, right.

many on here would say she is after money,,

then take a man of 30 with a lady who is also 30,,

is she after money too?????

what age to you think,, she wont be after his money??

and as some know on here im 53 and mac my wife is 28,

our pigs keep us and when our daughter is old enough for school, ill pay for that being her father,

if we have a new tv or fridge to buy i buy it,

but for everyday things, the pigs pay for them

jake

It's not necessarily a young guy/old guy thing. Both make moronic mistakes with women

The older a guy is compared to his Thai wife/GF/partner, the more likely he is to be compensating her financially.

Any guy - young or old - wanting a real-world answer, might I suggest they try the following:

1. Go see your wife now

2. Sit her down and, with a solemn look on your face, say "I've got some disturbing news" or some paraphrase to that effect so she can understand you

3. Tell her the money's dried up, the party's over and the stipend is pretty much history

4. Reassure her that the scale and depth of your mutual love will sustain you both through the hard times to come

5. Come back here and tell us what happened

Will she be willing to keep cooking, cleaning and enduring your sexual administrations without the benefit of your money?

Some will undoubtedly be just fine but I can see a lot of older guys being bounced out onto the street.

i know i wouldnt believe anyone that told me that love will pay the bills

[HardenedSoul]

Some will undoubtedly be just fine but I can see a lot of older guys being bounced out onto the street.

so your saying it would just be the old guy bounced out on his ear?

im not arguing, i do agree with a lot that you say on here,

but it wouldnt just be the old guy, if the relationship was just about money, young bucks get ripped off too,

No I'm not saying it would just be the older guy getting binned but I think more older guys than younger guys would be out.

Probably cos, to the women, a younger guy maybe has a better chance of getting himself back on his feet financially.

[quiuvo]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

What happens when or if you lose your job or income ? First i was thinking that you must be a Troll .Then i remember a documentary i saw on Youtube about an English man who did the same as you .As somebody already said try and find your balls ,before it is too late .

I guess I don't see it that way. If I lose my job I will have to get a new one, how does who has ATM cards matter then?

She is a fine money manager, I travel 3-4 weeks a month and come home on the weekends, all I want to do is relax not worry about bills. They are all paid and there is money left. She has access to my 3 accounts in Thailand, but I still have US accounts and a broker in the US. She could take it all and next month I wouldn't notice it... For 7 years however she has accounted for all the money she has spent however and I can't find fault in that.

I think "getting a set of balls" is not really a valid statement, if I happen to have found a money manager that is my wife, how is that a bad thing?

Thats different as you have a/cs in he US that she can not get her hands on .The English man i saw in the youtube video ,did not work and had all his savings in Thailand .His Thai wife took the lot as he let her have access to his a/c and put the house and farm in her name .

Yeah, I make decent money now, since I arrived with 2k USD in 2006 we bought a house (her name), a truck and 2 bikes (my name), had 2 kids that are starting school and don't lack for anything, all with her managing the money. The fact is the money train can leave the station any time and I won't be any worse for wear. The most she can get out of me is the house and a half million baht or so. I'll be fine in a month.

The question I was responding to is - how much do I give her a month. I give her the paycheck. She makes sure I have beer, computers and clothes for work, and takes care of the rest. Most of my bonuses are paid into my US accounts. So simple.

I am ok with you giving her the ATMs from Thailand. But you are smart enough to keep your good stuff in USA. We all need money for a rainy day. Don't forget it boys.

[quiuvo]

The old guy, on the other hand, has an entirely deeper and darker shade of shit to wade through. Emboldened by his "knowledge" of women garnered over 40 or 50 years of marriage, affairs and girlfriends etc, he was over-confident when he thought he could spot a timewaster a mile off. Turns out he cocked it up royally.

While I agree with most of your post, I think you made a mistake here.

Most older men (like me) haven't really had much experience with women.

We all managed one wife in the west, which seriously hosed us in the divorce.

And some of us have had an affair or two on top of that.

That doesn't really give us any more chance of dealing with the Thai lady, than the young guy has.

Thailand, you can have a different girl every week (or every night) if you want, totally different game, completely new set of rules. Most western men have never experienced anything like this before.

But many of us 'old farts' are fortunate in that we have pensions, and apart from this month's money, they can't take any more. It gives us a certain financial resilience that you don't mention.

PS

Private or Company pension max lump sum = 25%

State pension, no lump sum.

Words that many Falang would like them to apply to them. Pensioners have an advantage for sure . They can give a certain percentage and live the dream Some of us have. The tight pussies can try as hard as they can but can't dry you pension. A tight one can get 10,000 to 30,000 per month and be completely satisfied. Don't ruin it for the rest of us by paying top money!

[JLCrab]

So I sat the long-term Thai girl down next to me and solemnly said to her "All the money is gone -- we'll have to get by for a while solely on true love".

And she quizzically looked at me and said "You've been reading that bullshit expat website again, haven't you?"

[timewilltell]

Hmm this thread got slightly derailed but interesting nonetheless. For my position having been scammed after 9 years of marriage (the ex now in prison) and left to care for my several children (which is a wonder for me not a hardship except financially where formerly everything was 'kushdie') and with no assets left as they have all been defrauded, living with a partner and discussing finances is difficult, especially as I am in my later years. With children herself and an ex who couldn't give a dam_n, what could be expected as a contribution from her to our whole family expenses? Maybe nothing since she has to help out with cooking and cleaning for all of us?

you sounds like the standard expat down at the bar!

in the start i felt sorry for you guys being tricked, but now days i just laugh at you, did you guys forget to check out your brain when you arrived to thailand?

please share you story? let me guess bar,issan,sick family?

don't do the same mistake twice!

I don't actually go to bars though sometimes to restaurants. I don't think most expats of the nature you describe were married nearly a decade with a family and travelled the world with them. I don't think most have the assets I had, mostly secured with company and lease structures. I don't think many would still be educating their children. Quite a few might have been targeted by their spouse but Far less screwed over by a gang a criminals who set out to steal every asset from the beginning.

And I will guarantee most of the people like you who think anyone who is defrauded is stupid, have a lot to learn about the ease with which you can be taken to the cleaners by lawyers, officials and police willingly assisting in the crime through corruption. Or of course they are too poor to own any asset in the first place or alternatively do not wish to raise a family as a normal person and prefer to keep all their assets offshore a live the life if a whoremonger?

Finally there was nothing Isaan about the woman and no buffaloes around, nor parents nor siblings nor ex boyfriends nor children from the past, just ours.

Edited October 29, 2013 by timewilltell

[elliottm]

20,000 each, with mine kept more for the expensive items (weekend restaurants, petrol, boxes of beer) & hers more for her daily work expenses & rent ex bills. The new car is split 50:50.

[Thongkorn]

My wife takes care of me and the home, I take care of everything else.

Thats called, being Married.

[laolover88]

I have a confession to make!

We don't have disagreements, even after all these years! What we do is have discussions about what are our priorities...schools and other things for the children and their future, ensuring we are both independent as well as dependent on each other, saving for hard times if they come etc....And we talk about the changes in what things cost. What really prompted this was a clear realisation on both our parts that times are a-changing. This is referred to in other posts. When we built the house it was 75b=1GBP. That would be a welcome exchange rate today! We live a sort of happily deranged slightly bohemian I think 'happily normal' married shared life, though we have to behave when outside the house. Meanwhile all around us the Thai neighbours are rushing about in new red plated Fortuners, buying gold, going on holidays, flooding fancy eateries. My wife is not impressed! As she says: "All Debt". One poster was unhappy with my wife 'quizzing' her friends! And they sure quizz her! Not just about sex...but if she shows a new piece of gold, which she is not inclined to do, .....and they sure notice....where did that come from? Who bought it? As we did in the UK and France we just try to stay out of it and do the things we want and can afford to do!

Thank you for some honest and insightful comments!