Are Your Wifes With You Because Of You?

[Tippaporn]

First off, I think the OP was sincere and, given that, there are no such things as stupid questions. He admitted to being the tender age of 23 and I'm sure some of the older posters here can recall their own innocence and naivete on the subject of love and marriage when they were that young.

The same can be said about perceptions people have of another country, such as Thailand, when lacking the experience of actually living in said country. One is bound to have a certain amount of misconceptions. So give the OP a generous and deserving break by extending him the benefit of the doubt here.

Regarding the OP's questions, I'd advise him to be aware that the reasons two people get together are absolutely endless. Ultimately, there's a right reason and a wrong reason; if it ain't for love then do expect to have problems down the road. Of course, to complicate the matter I would add that it's not inconceivable to bond for the wrong reasons only to evolve the relationship so that it's basis becomes love. Again, there's an example out there for all conceivable situations. Anyone who denies a particular avenue as being possible is only trying to argue for their own adopted generalizations. They'll hear soon enough from those whose experience would serve to disprove those 'factual' assumptions.

While there are an infinite combination of factors as the basis for attraction I would consider selfishness as the core. Selfishness in the sense that everyone is trying to create situations that are pleasing and favourable for themselves. Selfishness is generally considered a dirty word, though. But let's face it, does anyone enter into a long-term relationship (or do anything else, for that matter) if they feel that they're not going to come out of it with what they feel is important to them?

Everyone has their own selfish reasons for hooking up with another - be it money and all that money appears to guarantee, a nice ass and a young face, the means to escape their environment, the desire for a potentially better existence, security and increased opportunity for their children, having someone to look after and take care of them, etc., etc., etc. While it's O.K. to be selfish (and impossible not to be) then what makes it work is give and take, mutual respect for each other's desires, and an understanding that you can each have what you want without denying your partner the things they want. When selfishness is practiced as getting what you want at the expense of someone else then it is practiced in a way that is unworkable. Failure will be the end result. A lot of arguments at minimum.

I hope this perspective helps the OP. If not, please return my two cents. My wifey was just asking me for some change . . .

Edited April 30, 2006 by Tippaporn

[bkkmadness]

Tippaporn, you do have a way of making perfect sense of a situation.

Note to forum users: If I don't bother posting my opinions in certain threads, just mark me down as agreeing with whatever Tippaporn says.

[Tippaporn]

Tippaporn, you do have a way of making perfect sense of a situation.

Note to forum users: If I don't bother posting my opinions in certain threads, just mark me down as agreeing with whatever Tippaporn says.

A humble , bkkmadness. The respect and admiration is mutual. There are a limited number of posters here who have an inordinate amount of . . . common sense? It's more than common sense, though. I'd call it heart.

Not being flowery here, bkk, just calling a spade a spade.

[Glauka]

one of my life mottos if you don´t want to know...don´t ask

sometimes is better in that way...if you are happy why you want to make your life miserable by asking this kind of questions...if they are gonna improve your life or yourself that´s o.k...otherwise you can get wrong ideas about certain matters...

maybe at the beggining of some relationship money was an important factor...but later maybe love have more weigh...i always try to think positive about people behaviours...although sometimes i am wrong...

Edited April 30, 2006 by Glauka

[Pink Mist]

I am kind of asking myself this question, I am now in Sydney I have just met a new thai girlfriend here, She is out here on a student visa, She plans to apply for permanent residency using her skills as a physiotherapist. I am young 23 she is also 23, Im afraid if she cant get her PR via the traditional route she may feel like she needs to marry some one, in order to become a PR,As I am now 23 I guess she thinks I am not ready for marriage, which is true, I ,will be interested to see what happens maybe she could start looking for a more suitable marriage partner/

why not go the skilled migration route, if she is qualified in the medical profession then I reckon she would be a shoe in.

Have a look on the DIMA site pinned at top, in migrating to other countries section.

[Mighty Mouse]

I am now in Sydney I have just met a new thai girlfriend here, She is out here on a student visa, She plans to apply for permanent residency using her skills as a physiotherapist. I am young 23 she is also 23, Im afraid if she cant get her PR via the traditional route she may feel like she needs to marry some one, in order to become a PR

Sydney has a multitude of Thai students who have initially invaded our fine City in search of knowledge, wealth and love. (Not necessarily in that order)

As correctly stated by the OP, once their visa has expired, it is the highway and the fly way out of here.

For those who see Australia as being the country of opportunity, the only way they can remain is by marrying an Aussie. (Is there a better choice. - Statement, not a question. )

It's not only the Thais who attempt to pull this stunt. An English gal once asked me to marry her after our first date. Her visa had almost expired. She promised me that she would be "a proper wife."

She was not given a second date.

My mate runs an International English School in Sydney. His students come mainly from developing countries. Most are using his school as a means of working rather than studying. A large percentage of them are selling pussy. Their only requirement is that they attend the school at least three times per week. That usually means they sign in, walk out and go back to work.

My mate tells me that he receives marriage proposals from his students each and every day. He is offered money to set up marriages for them.

I can well understand the reasoning behind the OP's question and I don't think he deserves to be attacked because he asked it.

[skylar]

For those who see Australia as being the country of opportunity, the only way they can remain is by marrying an Aussie. (Is there a better choice. - Statement, not a question. )

Not true. Defacto is also accepted. Of course, the usual evidence has to be supplied before a PR is approved.

[Tippaporn]

Wow, interesting to say the least, MM. Wouldn't have guessed that scenario in Australia. But not surprised, either. It certainly gives more credibility to the OP.

As far as Aussie's being the best choice, the last time I looked at the statistics . . .

[Mighty Mouse]

For those who see Australia as being the country of opportunity, the only way they can remain is by marrying an Aussie. (Is there a better choice. - Statement, not a question. )

Not true. Defacto is also accepted. Of course, the usual evidence has to be supplied before a PR is approved.

Yes, and providing that evidence is a lot more difficult than providing evidence of a happy marriage.

I should know, I went via the defacto route.

[Mighty Mouse]

As far as Aussie's being the best choice, the last time I looked at the statistics . . .

Your statistics may indicate that Aussies are somewhere down the list with regard to numbers marrying Thai women.

That's because Aussies are most discerning as to whom we marry. We are not easy game like the Americans, the English pick up our rejects and the French.....well, what can you say about the French.

............and before anybody comes in with their sheep jokes, it's the Kiwi's who go the bull in the wool.

Only women with good taste marry Aussies.

[Ulysses G.]

Only women with good taste marry Aussies.

The best husbands are passed out drunk in the loo for most of the day.

[Tippaporn]

As far as Aussie's being the best choice, the last time I looked at the statistics . . .

Your statistics may indicate that Aussies are somewhere down the list with regard to numbers marrying Thai women.

That's because Aussies are most discerning as to whom we marry. We are not easy game like the Americans, the English pick up our rejects and the French.....well, what can you say about the French.

............and before anybody comes in with their sheep jokes, it's the Kiwi's who go the bull in the wool.

Only women with good taste marry Aussies.

Well, if you're representative of the average Aussie, MM, I'll concede the point.

On second thought, I think women with good taste would marry me first (unfortunately I'm already taken).

Edited May 1, 2006 by Tippaporn

[lordofdelusion]

An interesting question, although I'm not sure why you asked . Having worked with young women in the U.S. I can tell you without a doubt that they want nothing to do with a man of modest means.

Being bombarded daily with images of celebs, wretched excess and the need for the next material thing, I am not surprised.

I doubt anyone is attracted to a bum in any country. You want a partner that can walk beside you, not one you have to drag along. One person in the relationship will always out earn the other, traditionally the man, but that is changing. I think women place a high value on security and men an equally high value on looks. Wealthy older farang, young gorgeous thai women, seems a match made in heaven.

[soic]

Boo, I don't think that ALL women look for money when they marry. Some women and men rush off and get married for love and on whims, thank goodness for Las Vegas for some. It's foolish though to think that women and men don't look for the best traits in their mates. On numerous occassions men have wrote what they look for in women and women have wrote what they're looking for in a man. When someone is "looking" for a mate. They look for financial stability as well as many other traits. It's only common sense. If we were all to close a blind eye and be led by our hearts alone... heck... I'd have gotten married at least 100 times. When I was in High School, I was in love with a knew girl almost every other day.

[Master Chief]

TP has a good sence for life out there, but as we know no person is a like.

I always think how strange couples are who say they know everthing about each other, what they think and like.

Have they stopped living and experiance new things in life??? what is the point of living on after that?

Every new thing experianced can turn our lifes upside down in a second and move on to a newer way of living.

That is why:

some people butterfly!

some people cannot stay for long

some people always lie

some people look for a better living.

ect ect

For girls and boysl who left their safe living in the dwell of their families and moved out to get a better life, can we ask them what they are looking for or should we ask our selves that question, what am I looking for?

Yes why do people stay together with a partner, familie or friends?

[a2396]

My wife is with me for money. End of story. I think this is a very relevant question. I once asked a Thia college student I know about this, ie the percentage of Thai women with farang men primarily for money. His answer was 90 %. Of course this was his unscientific opinion, but I think relatively close to the truth and the truth is very elusive in Thailand.

[mrbojangles]

Only women with good taste marry Aussies.

MM, the jokes section is further down the forum page

[mark45y]

I would say 99% but I have met the one percent. In fact I met him today. 45 year old Farang guy married to a 69 year old Thai woman (very well preserved I would have thought she was 50 until I was informed otherwise). She has all the money and married him for something other than money.

[billd766]

I am kind of asking myself this question, I am now in Sydney I have just met a new thai girlfriend here, She is out here on a student visa, She plans to apply for permanent residency using her skills as a physiotherapist. I am young 23 she is also 23, Im afraid if she cant get her PR via the traditional route she may feel like she needs to marry some one, in order to become a PR,As I am now 23 I guess she thinks I am not ready for marriage, which is true, I ,will be interested to see what happens maybe she could start looking for a more suitable marriage partner/

I had a small rant earlier but I have now read this later post of yours.

My wife is 21 years younger than me and we have known each other for 13 years and been married for 6 of them.

If you stay for a long term relationship and really get to know each other as we did then it is a different world.

I married my first wife (English) after 9 months and though we were married for 20 years in the last 10 it really wasn't working but I had known my present (Thai) lady for 4 years then.

My Thai wife has no interest in getting a UK passport or living in the UK and our son has a UK birth certificate and passport to help him later in life.

My wife has known me when I was earning a lot of money and when I was not working and she has stuck with me all the way.

Perhaps I am one of the lucky ones but there are an awful lot of us out there.

At your age both of you would be foolish to consider marriage as you need to know and understand each other and her culture for a long time before you make that jump.

[CSX]

Ok. The girl is in Australia. It is obvious that she wants to stay there to have a better life. I can't blame her or anyone else for that. If she does not get the visa to stay, then she will have to go back to Thailand. We do some of the darndest things as people some times, like was previously stated

" only she knows what's in her mind as well as her heart" We have good and bad in all countries all over the world. My wife says that she should not worry! She should just stay there if she does not get the visa. Or, if they have a real INS type of a service in their government and she has to go, then just send her to the good old U.S. of A. Then she can be just another one of the 17 million illegals here. She can work in a Thai / Chinese restaurant for cash, not have to worry about paying taxes, demand more rights & services from the government than a U.S. citizen would get. Life is grand for an illegal in the U.S. !!!!!

[Donz]

My fiancee is definately with me for me.

She has all the money and wants to take me back to Thailand to open a few businesses with her.

But which girl wouldnt want to be with me

[BKK90210]

My fiancee is definately with me for me.

She has all the money and wants to take me back to Thailand to open a few businesses with her.

But which girl wouldnt want to be with me

What did you do to get a rich thai girl?......don’t tell me you’d told her about your sick kangaroo story!

[Donz]

I have no idea as i couldnt remember the first night i met her.

Totally gone