Have you any friends?

[kevvy]

There may be times in your life when you find yourself entirely without friends. It's rare not to have at least one person you call friend, but it can happen. Having no friends suddenly is different than if you've recently moved to a new city or country , where your sense of adventure and spirit is high because everything in your world is different.I have experienced a time without friends at some point and still do, and as much it hurts, it's important not to get down about it.In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, children’s parties and of course, Facebook which I am not on. But actual close friends the kind you make in school, the kind you call in a crisis! Those are in shorter supply.

As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY REAL FRIENDS.

\

Kevvy

[HeijoshinCool]

I had two here.

One guy knew he couldn't deal with living here, he went home.

The other thought he could deal with living here, he went crazy.

(My girl and my dog are doing fine, though. Both good friends, both answer when I call.)

[mrtoad]

Yes

[CharlieH]

Had one other ferang that lived on the other side of my village, we were friends, didnt live in each others pockets but took time out once a week for a coffee and a chat and put the worlds to right. Sadly he died 2 years ago, miss him alot.

[kevvy]

Had one other ferang that lived on the other side of my village, we were friends, didnt live in each others pockets but took time out once a week for a coffee and a chat and put the worlds to right. Sadly he died 2 years ago, miss him alot.

so sorry for your lost . I know how that feels . It really hurts.

[MJP]

Yes.

[stoneyboy]

If you live like myself upcountry it can be difficult to find friends,acquaintances can be easier to come by but friends are different,I've been here 4 years although not full time due to work commitments and in that time I have found 1 real good friend.

Also I'm considerably younger than the majority of expats up here in Phetchabun and that makes it harder.

It can be a lonely place for some often turning to drink and in some cases drugs.

I'm surprised by the number of expats who live up here but often speak very little Thai after many years,in some cases their native tongue is German or French and they speak very little English as well,this must make life a struggle at times,especially in the marital home where by neither partner speaks much of each other's respective languages.

Combine al this with a lack of western foods,bars or restaurants as well as very little in the way of facilities such as swimming pools,it all makes for a recipe for disaster.

Many people live reclusive lives surrounded by people they grow to detest,can't communicate with and to top it all they've invested everything they have in building the dream home.

Seeking and finding friends up here can often uncover some very miserable people with very miserable lives.

Sad but true.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[anto]

I am an introvert by nature ,and can live without friends .I have had several good friends through my life though .

At the moment i have just one good male Falang friend .We drink togeather in the local expat bar once a week .Several of my Thai wifes female friends ,i would also class as friends to me .

[donniereadit]

It can be a lonely place for some often turning to drink and in some cases drugs.

or prostitutes.

[krisb]

I could count my real friends on 1 hand. I could count real friends on here on the other. Your family is essential, but thats another story.

[balo]

In Thailand? No only friends you can not trust .

[Dr Robert]

I don't think you can find the sort of friendships here that you develop in childhood or young adulthood, the sort of die hard, walk backwards across broken glass relationships I remember, though I would really like to test this idea and be found wanting.

I think you can develop emotional attachments that approximate friendship, even closely, but It seems to me almost impossible that the disparate group of people that I normally meet here could form the closeness I called friendship when I wore younger mans clothes (thanks Billy).

My male friends are fun and good company, but I hope I never have to test this in the cold light of an emergency, lest my illusions are shattered.

My beautiful woman is the best and only trustworthy friend I would risk my life with. So the answer is I have one real friend, possibly more, but one.

[rgs2001uk]

I could count my real friends on 1 hand. I could count real friends on here on the other. Your family is essential, but thats another story.

Aint that the truth.

My best friend here is German, I have more in common with him than I do with many of my fellow countrymen.

[transam]

You will never know who a real friend is until or money is involved. Sadly.

BUT, they are out there, difficult to find, but they are out there.

[HeijoshinCool]

One definition of a friend: someone who is willing to make a sacrifice that benefits you.

[mrtoad]

I could count my real friends on 1 hand. I could count real friends on here on the other. Your family is essential, but thats another story.

Aint that the truth.

My best friend here is German, I have more in common with him than I do with many of my fellow countrymen.

It's very true, I have thankfully made some good friends through sports teams, so have bit of a mixture in terms of friends and origin of where hey are from. In the end , finding good friends here int easy, plenty of lowlife that want to drag you down, had some supposed friends who were certainly more interested in self preservation than being decent people. I'm sure it'll catch up with the in the end, and a couple of people , hopefully it'll catchup soon.

As an aside, my best friends, are from school,University and old work places, as these friendships have lasted decades, and wheI go back to the UK it's almost like we have never been away.

Edited October 25, 2013 by mrtoad

[benalibina]

One definition of a friend: someone who is willing to make a sacrifice that benefits you.

Post of the ......... well written.

[ABCer]

Yes and No.

Depends of what meaning you put into the word FRIEND.

I'm a non drinker. Drinking buddies aren't friends in my books.

I was a womaniser. Ladies I bedded aren't friends in my books.

I am a generous person. I have met many generous people. I gave a lot and was given a lot. Takers and givers aren't friends in my books.

Once again, kevvy, what are the REAL FRIENDS you are talking about?

Explain yourself and you may get a better answer.

[WitawatWatawit]

They say no man is an island. But coming from a dysfunctional family and having been stabbed in the back many times over the years, I find solitude quite embracing. Although I tend to disagree with everything I say, and yearn for someone with a few brains to talk to. Seriously, though, when you lead a fairly peripatetic life, even if it's within a particular society (night shift workers in a strange city might understand), true friends can be hard to find, and you tend to fall back on your workmates for solace and advice. I lost a very old friend recently when he slipped his mental moorings, and now people are really just ships in the night to me. No, I'm not an island, but I'm also not writing SOS messages in the sand, either.

[ToddWeston]

I have 3 friends

-the one I cuddle (24 years)

-one who was sadly in a car accident earlier this year and lived here for years (WilliamBkk) always thought we'd retire and be neighbours (41 years)

-my younger brother (36 years)

Online there are some great guys here and I'd be honoured to meet them face to face someday. My friends back home however have changed and I knew it would as I live half way around the world in Bangkok and it is hard keeping up friendships from the past. A mate this summer told me every plant in his garden, texted me about his tomatoe harvest and is now updating me on the fall colours - what happened 5555

Anyway I like my company so all's well.

[rgs2001uk]

I could count my real friends on 1 hand. I could count real friends on here on the other. Your family is essential, but thats another story.

Aint that the truth.

My best friend here is German, I have more in common with him than I do with many of my fellow countrymen.

It's very true, I have thankfully made some good friends through sports teams, so have bit of a mixture in terms of friends and origin of where hey are from. In the end , finding good friends here int easy, plenty of lowlife that want to drag you down, had some supposed friends who were certainly more interested in self preservation than being decent people. I'm sure it'll catch up with the in the end, and a couple of people , hopefully it'll catchup soon.

As an aside, my best friends, are from school,University and old work places, as these friendships have lasted decades, and wheI go back to the UK it's almost like we have never been away.

As an aside, my best friends, are from school,University and old work places, as these friendships have lasted decades, and wheI go back to the UK it's almost like we have never been away.

So true, couldnt have written it better myself.

Last time I was back in Jolly Ole Blighty met up with a friend I hadnt seen in years, his mrs remarked something like its 2013 now not 1993.

What was even more frightening, the two women (his mrs and mine) got on like a house on fire even though they had never met each other prior to that night, they were almost like sisters as they sat there laughing at us.

[lazygourmet]

Three: Me, Myself & I...

[NeverSure]

I think the older you get the harder it is to keep friends. I didn't understand that when I was younger and had lots of friends.

But people move around, change careers, become different, and so on.

If you want to lose most of your friends, make some money. Then because you are such close friends they won't understand why you won't finance their latest business idea or bail them out of their debts. They also get jealous or they don't feel they belong even though you don't treat them differently. That's the last you see of them.

I think it is harder and harder to have close friends the older you get and you no longer work or see many people regularly at the same level.

But then my impression of most expats is that they are loners. I think it takes a bit of that to uproot from the home country and relocate.

[guzzi850m2]

Here in Thailand I find it hard to find friends, real friends not drinking buddies (don't drink so much anymore).

A friend of mine for 30 years also started to spend his holidays in Thailand but fell in love with nice girl back in Denmark so he moved back. We are still friends but don't see each other much anymore, sadly.

Mine wife is my best friend, we can talk about everything and we trust each other 100% and we have a lovely 4 year old boy.

I might start playing golf and hope I can meet some nice folks.

I don't work here so getting Thai friends are not easy, talk to a very nice Thai doctor in my village sometimes but just "over the fence", he is a real nice guy but we don't have much in common.

The expats in my village are nice people but they are living in their own little world and I mostly polite decline their offers for pop by with beers, they are also way older than me.

[mrtoad]

I could count my real friends on 1 hand. I could count real friends on here on the other. Your family is essential, but thats another story.

Aint that the truth.

My best friend here is German, I have more in common with him than I do with many of my fellow countrymen.

It's very true, I have thankfully made some good friends through sports teams, so have bit of a mixture in terms of friends and origin of where hey are from. In the end , finding good friends here int easy, plenty of lowlife that want to drag you down, had some supposed friends who were certainly more interested in self preservation than being decent people. I'm sure it'll catch up with the in the end, and a couple of people , hopefully it'll catchup soon.

As an aside, my best friends, are from school,University and old work places, as these friendships have lasted decades, and wheI go back to the UK it's almost like we have never been away.

As an aside, my best friends, are from school,University and old work places, as these friendships have lasted decades, and wheI go back to the UK it's almost like we have never been away.

So true, couldnt have written it better myself.

Last time I was back in Jolly Ole Blighty met up with a friend I hadnt seen in years, his mrs remarked something like its 2013 now not 1993.

What was even more frightening, the two women (his mrs and mine) got on like a house on fire even though they had never met each other prior to that night, they were almost like sisters as they sat there laughing at us.

Yep, it's just like that. Excuse my spelling as have predict text on.

I have had people home screw me over, and people here do the same. I have met some great people here in Thaialnd, that even though I've not known them for that long a time, I already know that they will be long term friends. A few others that will likely end up friendless anyway, I wish them well.

If you swim in the sewer, shit sticks , so it's a good idea to choose wisely. I've been guilty of trusting people far too quickly over the years, so I'm trying to make sure I get it right.Friendship, real friendship is a great thing.

[anto]

>>The expats in my village are nice people but they are living in their own little world and I mostly polite decline their offers for pop by with beers, they are also way older than me.<<

You could be missing out there .I hardly ever refuse a party /meeting offer in my Village .It only happens at most once a month though .

[whiteman]

Been here 10 years had one mate for 8 years here he then moved back to Ausy keep in touch by skype but not the same so just me and my thai partner of ten years she would walk over broken glass for me and my 2 dogs.

That's it.

At times I think I would like to chat with a fellow or lady ( none Thai ) but hard to find so one just gets on with life.

As long as I have my partner and pets life is great.

[Patsycat]

My best friend died 4 months ago, I am now getting to the point in my grief that i hate her for leaving me.

Stupid cow. (She'd laugh and nod her head to that!!) I talk to her all the time. Stupid bitch.

We all move on, I have other friends - but she knew everything about me as me her.

Edited October 25, 2013 by Patsycat

[villagefarang]

I have lived my entire adult life in Thailand and learned long ago that relationships are very transient. Before email, when people left the country to work elsewhere, you simply lost touch.

I have never been the clingy or needy type, so I simply feel grateful for the time I share with people and move on when they leave, for whatever reason. I have always known a lot of people socially, but my wife is the only one I would ever ask anything of. She is my best friend.

[ToddWeston]

My best friend died 4 months ago, I am now getting to the point in my grief that i hate her for leaving me.

Stupid cow. (She'd laugh and nod her head to that!!) I talk to her all the time. Stupid bitch.

Hugs and kisses .......