Have you any friends?

[FiftyTwo]

My definition of a friend is someone you respect , trust and have a good time sharing tall tales with. Someone who just likes you as a human and vice versa. Astonishingly hard to come by people like this.

Amazingly easy really.

But you have to actually go outside your home to find these people.

Of course,

It is far harder if you have been daft enough to plonk yourself in a village of stick huts in the back end of nowhere.

(I've found this situation usually happens when a guy doesn't have the courage to say 'NO")

Edited October 26, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[kevvy]

Friends?...good question....and something i have been grabbling with since moving to thailand....are men and womens needs different regarding friendships?

this is my first post on tv....so be gentle with me...

i am someone who has travelled extensively, female, lived in 3 continents and have always found making friends easy . However time, distance and maturing in years takes its toll and you suddenly find yourself in thailand..without good friends around. I realize the older i get the pickier i am about whom i want to spend time with...and living in an expat community has limitations with regards to friendships....and the question does come up...who would be there for you in an emergency?...a sobering thought at times

i guess being a guy here many of you have thai wives/gfs and their friends and families which gives you 'instant' friendships

i am alarmed to find myself spending hrs on the net talking to 'cyber' friends...what happened to the real world?? i am turning into one of those people i would have laughed at a year ago....

So anyone in Hua Hin who would like a coffee or chat drop me a line(or anyone else in other places in thailand who feel like a chat on skype or whatever)...everyone has an interesting story to tell...and i am no exception...and love a laugh!

At least i am trying...

Welcome and Hi (was going to say G'dAY BUT YOU ARE A SHEILA)

There is a women's forum here as well. Glad you joined the forum , you can make many cyber friends here , and some will be glad to have you as a friend .

Have a wonderful day .

Kevvy

[WitawatWatawit]

I will have to hire mourners for my funeral!

The search for some could prove very costly.

[kevvy]

Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won't, and you'll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one, and it takes a lot of effort and care. To be a good friend, you have to establish a trusting friendship, be there for your friend during hard times, and deepen a friendship to make it last.

kevvy

[myluckythai]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

Edited October 26, 2013 by myluckythai

[AYJAYDEE]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

where did u get the name lucky?

[kevvy]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

look at my post #95

[myluckythai]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

where did u get the name lucky?

by not trusting my 'friends'

[AYJAYDEE]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

where did u get the name lucky?

by not trusting my 'friends'

oh how i WISH I could achieve such happiness!

[myluckythai]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

look at my post #95

now this is a topic nobody can claim to be more of an expert than an other...I like that.. i understand your point of view. I have people i go along with for most of my life. One of m more 30 years. this might be called a friend, but it is only because forgiveness is a big word in this relationship that it endured. Things happened along these years that took the better part of the relationship away and only for the sake of long long memeries and adventures and sharing innerthoughts together i suppose it still might be called a friend, but both of us (my friend and me) know there have been matters occuring that will never be forgotten and made me see a friend is only as much as a word, with no true value , and yes i would easily walk away from this guy too if hat is the smarter thing to do for me. For me the true value is in my family, but i understand that this is a lot different for many , as their families are the ones breaking m down. To me really trusting people who have no unbreakable connection with me is a foolish thing.

Edited October 26, 2013 by myluckythai

[Makhao]

At TV even serious meant threads are often answered with sarcasm, jokes or irony. With that background I am astonished about the amount of valuable, serious and intelligent answers, that I could read this time.

The whole thread made me think about friends and relationships again and I agree with many wise answers here. This thread shows once again the capability and high level, that TV members can have (if they only want).

Of course I also like funny posts at TV, but this threads deserves serious answers, as I agree with other posts, that this problem may concern a lot ppl.

[n210mp]

Coincidentally this topic has been on my mind now for a little while, the reason is that I feel the need to have some or even just one "quality" friends such as I have had in the past but cannot seem to find the right material here in Pattaya!

I am not a user of the bars here, nor am I a butterfly and much prefer visiting friends for a meal and a few drinks (and of course they coming to us) just like my Thai lady wife and I did in the UK before we retired to our house over here.

I feel that to have a friend is not to "use" him or her for uncertainties or insurance purposes but to be able to "communicate" on a similar intellectual level and to share a "moral" code that means that there will always be an understanding or respect,

If you are lucky enough to have such a friend or indeed friends, then the good times and the bad ones can be shared.

I also think that if you wish to find friends then you must put yourself about in the right places, this is not to say that the right places are Walking street lady bars or massage parlours.

The right places may be Gyms, golf society's, card clubs like bridge or Canasta , various athletic sports clubs and the many charities that abound here .

Before you can cultivate a relationship or friendship you must put something in to making yourself available to be "lucky," like enthusiasm and buying an entry ticket.

In other words you will need to get off your backside and look for those people who are around , it may well be the key to turning a lonely and increasingly intellectually and unstimulated lonely life around.

As I get older I accept and realise that I may well be past the "Friending" stage but live in hope that somewhere out there, will be someone that operates on the same vibes that I do

Up to now I have failed miserably in making friends of the quality that I am looking for and have had to accept that it may well be my own fault because as I become older I seem to have become lazier and more cynical to a point that makes finding good friends impossible.

On the other hand it may well be that to have no friends here is better than having friends that you do not respect!

To summarise I have a couple of friends here in Pattaya and they know who they are but the rest are merely acquaintances just stocking fillers who I expect nothing from and who may well expect nothing from me.

Like many other posters on this thread I am married to my best friend and although loving a game of golf with my golf buddies, which takes me away from home and her, I am happy to live my life around my wife and what makes her happy.

Do miss a good debate though, maybe that's why I come on here eh?

Edited October 26, 2013 by n210mp

[kevvy]

Friends tssssssssssssssss. who needs m. they all have a certain point where they can not be trusted any more. Only see ´m as people i know and like better than others and go along for a while, but wait until they benefit more when leaving or cheating you , than they do in staying true.

look at my post #95

now this is a topic nobody can claim to be more of an expert than an other...I like that.. i understand your point of view. I have people i go along with for most of my life. One of m more 30 years. this might be called a friend, but it is only because forgiveness is a big word in this relationship that it endured. Things happened along these years that took the better part of the relationship away and only for the sake of long long memeries and adventures and sharing innerthoughts together i suppose it still might be called a friend, but both of us (my friend and me) know there have been matters occuring that will never be forgotten and made me see a friend is only as much as a word, with no true value , and yes i would easily walk away from this guy too if hat is the smarter thing to do for me. For me the true value is in my family, but i understand that this is a lot different for many , as their families are the ones breaking m down. To me really trusting people who have no unbreakable connection with me is a foolish thing.

Thanks for the great post. Understand.

[Seeker1953]

At TV even serious meant threads are often answered with sarcasm, jokes or irony. With that background I am astonished about the amount of valuable, serious and intelligent answers, that I could read this time.

The whole thread made me think about friends and relationships again and I agree with many wise answers here. This thread shows once again the capability and high level, that TV members can have (if they only want).

Of course I also like funny posts at TV, but this threads deserves serious answers, as I agree with other posts, that this problem may concern a lot ppl.

I'm deeply impressed by the thoughtful posts and deep wisdom here in this thread. It's one of the best I've ever read on TV. And I am very grateful for it.

Though I live in Bangkok, I "isolate" a lot for my own reasons. Yet, over the years, I've cultivated several deep and rich friendships here, both with Thai's and expats.

And I agree, friendships are work, hard, wonderful, work. I'm deeply blessed and grateful for my friends and to you TV posters for being so open and helping me.

[kevvy]

Coincidentally this topic has been on my mind now for a little while, the reason is that I feel the need to have some or even just one "quality" friends such as I have had in the past but cannot seem to find the right material here in Pattaya!

I am not a user of the bars here, nor am I a butterfly and much prefer visiting friends for a meal and a few drinks (and of course they coming to us) just like my Thai lady wife and I did in the UK before we retired to our house over here.

I feel that to have a friend is not to "use" him or her for uncertainties or insurance purposes but to be able to "communicate" on a similar intellectual level and to share a "moral" code that means that there will always be an understanding or respect,

If you are lucky enough to have such a friend or indeed friends, then the good times and the bad ones can be shared.

I also think that if you wish to find friends then you must put yourself about in the right places, this is not to say that the right places are Walking street lady bars or massage parlours.

The right places may be Gyms, golf society's, card clubs like bridge or Canasta , various athletic sports clubs and the many charities that abound here .

Before you can cultivate a relationship or friendship you must put something in to making yourself available to be "lucky," like enthusiasm and buying an entry ticket.

In other words you will need to get off your backside and look for those people who are around , it may well be the key to turning a lonely and increasingly intellectually and unstimulated lonely life around.

As I get older I accept and realise that I may well be past the "Friending" stage but live in hope that somewhere out there, will be someone that operates on the same vibes that I do

Up to now I have failed miserably in making friends of the quality that I am looking for and have had to accept that it may well be my own fault because as I become older I seem to have become lazier and more cynical to a point that makes finding good friends impossible.

On the other hand it may well be that to have no friends here is better than having friends that you do not respect!

To summarise I have a couple of friends here in Pattaya and they know who they are but the rest are merely acquaintances just stocking fillers who I expect nothing from and who may well expect nothing from me.

Like many other posters on this thread I am married to my best friend and although loving a game of golf with my golf buddies, which takes me away from home and her, I am happy to live my life around my wife and what makes her happy.

Do miss a good debate though, maybe that's why I come on here eh?

I live 40 minutes from pattaya (sriracha) Next year I will retire down to Had samran (near Trang) going to open a fishing club for anyone who wants to come down and do deep sea fishing .Maybe will make some good friends . who knows. Have a English man down there waiting for me to come down. He will be a great friend by the way his manner is .

[super22k]

Every expat in Thailand has a wonderful friend.Always with you day and night.A shoulder to cry on.Will help you to solve your problems.Introduce you to other people.....who?.....you should know......THAIVISA!

[kevvy]

At TV even serious meant threads are often answered with sarcasm, jokes or irony. With that background I am astonished about the amount of valuable, serious and intelligent answers, that I could read this time.

The whole thread made me think about friends and relationships again and I agree with many wise answers here. This thread shows once again the capability and high level, that TV members can have (if they only want).

Of course I also like funny posts at TV, but this threads deserves serious answers, as I agree with other posts, that this problem may concern a lot ppl.

I'm deeply impressed by the thoughtful posts and deep wisdom here in this thread. It's one of the best I've ever read on TV. And I am very grateful for it.

Though I live in Bangkok, I "isolate" a lot for my own reasons. Yet, over the years, I've cultivated several deep and rich friendships here, both with Thai's and expats.

And I agree, friendships are work, hard, wonderful, work. I'm deeply blessed and grateful for my friends and to you TV posters for being so open and helping me.

wow, I am so happy that so many people love talking about this topic without sarcasm. It is great to know that I am not the only one who thinks about friendship. Just want to say thanks to everybody , and seeker123.

[jocko]

At TV even serious meant threads are often answered with sarcasm, jokes or irony. With that background I am astonished about the amount of valuable, serious and intelligent answers, that I could read this time.

The whole thread made me think about friends and relationships again and I agree with many wise answers here. This thread shows once again the capability and high level, that TV members can have (if they only want).

Of course I also like funny posts at TV, but this threads deserves serious answers, as I agree with other posts, that this problem may concern a lot ppl.

I'm deeply impressed by the thoughtful posts and deep wisdom here in this thread. It's one of the best I've ever read on TV. And I am very grateful for it.

Though I live in Bangkok, I "isolate" a lot for my own reasons. Yet, over the years, I've cultivated several deep and rich friendships here, both with Thai's and expats.

And I agree, friendships are work, hard, wonderful, work. I'm deeply blessed and grateful for my friends and to you TV posters for being so open and helping me.

I am not surprised you have good friends seems to me you understand how to make them some can others not.

Friendship is not a one way street.

[ggt]

In Thailand...you do not need to have friends...

Just keep spending money...Thai friends will materialize out of nowhere...

But if you should ever stop spending...

You will be alone...once more...

[villagefarang]

Depends on the kind of friends you have. We have Thai friends who are uncomfortably generous with us, making it difficult to find appropriate ways to express our appreciation. It all depends on who you hangout with.

Edited October 26, 2013 by villagefarang

[super22k]

If you feel lonely why not get a pet. A big cuddly dog who wags its tail to show it loves you. You can talk to it and(unlike a woman) it will not argue with you. It is a great therapy for lonely or depressed people. If you return the affection you will have a good friend for years and you will be very happy.

[DoctorG]

nope, not a one.

I have spent my whole life on the move. I have actually lived-in 8 different countries, and visited many more.

Now that I have determined to settle in one spot, I would not mind a friend or two for some social interaction.

[khunPer]

Yes

[thaidelight]

i am an aussie Kevvy so GDay is o.k for me! lol

is this a man's only forum??

[slipperylobster]

One definition of a friend: someone who is willing to make a sacrifice that benefits you.

Post of the ......... well written.

.. always be careful of "needy" friends....

[kevvy]

If you feel lonely why not get a pet. A big cuddly dog who wags its tail to show it loves you. You can talk to it and(unlike a woman) it will not argue with you. It is a great therapy for lonely or depressed people. If you return the affection you will have a good friend for years and you will be very happy.

Apart from my wife , before that my best friend was my boxer dog .he died from brain cancer 30 years ago.I still think of him today .

Some will make fast friends with any humans they come in contact with.If you’re seeking a sympathetic friend, you may need to look no further than your dog.Some people treat heir dogs like their best friends, I know I did for a long time.

Kevvy

[kevvy]

i am an aussie Kevvy so GDay is o.k for me! lol

is this a man's only forum??

No, many men would love to have another pretty lady on here. I said pretty not beautiful as my wife is the only beautiful woman in my eyes. I am glad you came to this topic as it is really great to hear all the stories out there. Welcome Thaidelight

OFF TOPIC

kevvy

Edited October 26, 2013 by kevvy

[hellodolly]

I think the older you get the harder it is to keep friends. I didn't understand that when I was younger and had lots of friends.

But people move around, change careers, become different, and so on.

If you want to lose most of your friends, make some money. Then because you are such close friends they won't understand why you won't finance their latest business idea or bail them out of their debts. They also get jealous or they don't feel they belong even though you don't treat them differently. That's the last you see of them.

I think it is harder and harder to have close friends the older you get and you no longer work or see many people regularly at the same level.

But then my impression of most expats is that they are loners. I think it takes a bit of that to uproot from the home country and relocate.

I think it is harder and harder to have close friends the older you get and you no longer work or see many people regularly at the same level.

But then my impression of most expats is that they are loners. I think it takes a bit of that to uproot from the home country and relocate.

At heart I am a loner yet in reality I do need some one I can talk with occasionally. My wife and I comunacate some how and have done so very well for 7 years. Yett there is concepts that even if I spoke perfect Thai she would never be able to understand. for this a friend is needed.

I have no real friends here as people of my age are generally locked in to the way it is and unwilling to change. I have 4 friends back in Canada. 2 I worked with and we communicate by phone every so often. I was discussing friends with one of them the other day and he told me that he was cutting back on his friends. The third one I met through this friend as he was also the owner of the company. He introduced me to the insurance man and we have been friends ever since. We communicate by e mail. The fourth is my best friend I can tell her any thing and she will listen. She is also my ex wife these past 28 years.

Over here I have a friend not a close one but willing to take care of things for me if I pass before the wife. But close no.

Yes it would be nice but not necessary to have a close friend here. I am developing a friendship with one fellow but he would never be able to understand some of the things I would like to talk about. Two different life style paths. He is very knowledgeable and willing to share it but if it is not with in his realm of understanding or experience it is a waste of time.

Last but not least am I capable of being a good friend to a local who I have no history with?

[hellodolly]

i am an aussie Kevvy so GDay is o.k for me! lol

is this a man's only forum??

No, many men would love to have another pretty lady on here. I said pretty not beautiful as my wife is the only beautiful woman in my eyes. I am glad you came to this topic as it is really great to hear all the stories out there. Welcome Thaidelight

OFF TOPIC

kevvy

Not only are you sorry but you are wrong. My wife is the most beautiful women in the world. Most of the time.

[kevvy]

nope, not a one.

I have spent my whole life on the move. I have actually lived-in 8 different countries, and visited many more.

Now that I have determined to settle in one spot, I would not mind a friend or two for some social interaction.

Where are you living Doc? Feel free to contact me as I am always traveling around Thailand. It is great to associate with people who are likely to improve you or the other person.You may not conform to the ways of the crowd you are with if they are unlike you.A while ago I sat in silence for the longest time and came up with several ideas of where I saw myself in a few years and what I wanted to do with those goals. It scared me to think that maybe I had lost out on certain opportunities because of the people I had decided to spend my time with instead of others. Have I made smart life choices when it comes to friends I think that’s a question we all ask at some point.