Christmas in Thailand....My daughter

[beachproperty]

kevozman1

I think the OP is probably just trolling around here tbh, the other poll thread suggests so at least. In any case posting about such things as the OP mentioned on an internet forum full of strangers is not the way to go. Family issues should stay with the family or with close friends/trusted acquaintances, imo. No one needs their personal trends and customs bashed by complete strangers and it always goes that way.

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Call it what you like.....My initial post was NOT about discipline or Parenting styles.....but this topic evolved to that.....and a rather important issue I would say....the different points of view on how to handle this situation....(actually only 1 was forwarded......grounding) ...are what discussions are about....Are TV posters so dense that a lively discussion on Discipline is beyond them? I think not ....and I actually respect the help that has been given so far .....I'm new to this type of thing (been a member less than 10 days) ...so if I have been out of line.....sorry.....just not into topics like Do you still use toilet paper?

If you have only been a TV member for 10 days it would be wise to check the past post(s) of your harshest critic go back and check on their posting history, they do not discuss, which is a two way street. They argue which is a one way street, their posting style is that they act like they agree with part of your comments, to attempt to get you off balance and to appeal to the other readers that theirs is a fair, logical, balanced approach and try to get you to defend your comment, when you do they simply sit back and nitpick on your explanation.,

The best defense is a good offence, you will also note they use the same points on different threads, remember discussion is a two way street, if they do not respond to the discussion point, cease communicating with them with either positive or negative communication.

Keep posting to those that make valid points, which you may not agree with.

Cheers:

Appreciate the advice ....will definitely keep in mind in the future... Also a big Thanks for your support and understanding ....Its not easy to take an unpopular (although there are many who support it) stance......You have argued many of my points very well, ....Again much appreciated....and Good luck

“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”

---Jack Kerouac

Edited October 30, 2013 by beachproperty

[FiftyTwo]

Dunno about step-daughters,

But when I first got married my wife went out with her female friends, 2am came and went, at 4am she came back to find all her clothes in plastic bin liners outside the front door, all doors locked and bolted from the inside.

She sat outside all night (I was actually expecting her to leave), when I got up at 7:30 and let her in, I explained if she wanted to live with me 1AM was the very latest for her to be out without me. And I needed to know where she was after 10pm (and who she was with).

She never stayed out again either.

Like all children, they are always testing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

It's up to you to set them.

Edited October 30, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[JLCrab]

I don't know that offering a quote by Jack Kerouac is such a great idea on a topic about bring up one's children.

His daughter and only child was Jan Kerouac (1952-1996) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Kerouac

[beachproperty]

I don't know that offering a quote by Jack Kerouac is such a great idea on a topic about bring up one's children.

His daughter and only child was Jan Kerouac (1952-1996) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Kerouac

I don't know.....you could be right in one sense ....but then again maybe its a great example of what happens when the father's NOT around.....I was and am!

Edited October 30, 2013 by beachproperty

[JLCrab]

I am not a parent and am not here to critique yours or anyone's parenting style. Those who are on the scene are best to judge how a child may react to various forms of discipline. Your daughter apparently took being locked out of the house in decent enough stride. Another more emotionally troubled teenager may have set fire to the house with you and your wife in it.

[Noistar]

Dunno about step-daughters,

But when I first got married my wife went out with her female friends, 2am came and went, at 4am she came back to find all her clothes in plastic bin liners outside the front door, all doors locked and bolted from the inside.

She sat outside all night (I was actually expecting her to leave), when I got up at 7:30 and let her in, I explained if she wanted to live with me 1AM was the very latest for her to be out without me. And I needed to know where she was after 10pm (and who she was with).

She never stayed out again either.

Like all children, they are always testing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

It's up to you to set them.

Exactly.

It's one less variable. The choice is with the child, but the consequences can be anticipated.

Brought up 2 daughters in the UK. My wife and I had the same ideas re parenting, no opportunities for the girls to play one of us off against the other.

Both girls brought up the same. The youngest went off the rails. People are individuals, one incident may have different perceptions. She is now a loving daughter learning by living life.

We can only try to do our best.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Chonburiram]

beachproperty,

After 7 years beeing a stepfather to your wifes daughter, all you got was a <deleted> christmas tree?

And it gave you a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside?

In 2015 my stepdaughter for then 16 years will receive her doctor of medicine...

How do I feel? Right, at that day I will forgive myself nearly all the mistakes I made and

the nagging fear of dying without doing something useful in my chaotic life will be somewhat

lessened, have a nice day.

[beachproperty]

beachproperty,

After 7 years beeing a stepfather to your wifes daughter, all you got was a fuc_king christmas tree?

And it gave you a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside?

In 2015 my stepdaughter for then 16 years will receive her doctor of medicine...

How do I feel? Right, at that day I will forgive myself nearly all the mistakes I made and

the nagging fear of dying without doing something useful in my chaotic life will be somewhat

lessened, have a nice day.

Sometimes, as was the case here (at least for me), its the THOUGHT that counts. It's the little things in life that bring me joy! And just having my daughter think of me....well....it makes me swell up....

Glad to hear your stepdaughter did well in school....I hope she is happy and this is her dream ........That's the important thing to me!

[bocceball1]

Not one, really wanting to comment on another's parenting style .....but I will put in my two cents....Sounds like you had a tough situation....I'm sure we're not aware of all the other little circumstances before you came to this moment and decision ....although harsh ....I think that harsh situations call for harsh measures.....Yeah....something might've happened ugly (unfortunately ugly things happen every day that we have no control over and can't protect our kids from ...sad to say) ....but it sounds like if you pussyfooted around the issue like suggested ....worse may have happened....I think you did the right thing....More importantly ...it worked!

You know it seems ironic ....we love our children dearly...and we want to protect them from all the evils of the world.....the ironic part is if we overly protect them we are really hurting them....stunting their growth ....children need room to grow, space....need to make their own mistakes and learn from them (can't be told or dictated what to do).....

Hey ...who am I? just my humble opinion....Good luck to all you Parents out there....remember when your children are small the problems are small ....and the bigger they get the bigger the problems get!

[Noistar]

Not one, really wanting to comment on another's parenting style .....but I will put in my two cents....Sounds like you had a tough situation....I'm sure we're not aware of all the other little circumstances before you came to this moment and decision ....although  harsh ....I think that harsh situations call for harsh measures.....Yeah....something might've happened ugly (unfortunately ugly things happen every day that we have no control over and can't protect our kids from ...sad to say)    ....but it sounds like if you pussyfooted around the issue like suggested ....worse may have happened....I think you did the right thing....More importantly ...it worked!

 

You know it seems ironic ....we love our children dearly...and we want to protect them from all the evils of the world.....the ironic part is if we overly protect them we are really hurting them....stunting their growth ....children need room to grow, space....need to make their own mistakes and learn from them (can't be told or dictated what to do).....

 

Hey ...who am I? just my humble opinion....Good luck to all you Parents out there....remember when your children are  small the problems are small ....and the bigger they get the bigger the problems get!

...and problems or not we can't stop loving them.

More often than not, whether spoken or unspoken, I'm sure they eventual accept - 'my parents were right'.

As an aside, I thought I'd try the 'boot on the other foot' approach with my 17 year old. After much thought she came out with the very sensible 'try to talk it through'. However, she was at a loss to come up with a solution to the 'I don't care what you say I'll do what I want'.

Nothing's easy in life!

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[beachproperty]

Well there is no win here for anybody , not saying we have to win , i have my views and other people share the same and the OP has his which people feel the same . So as one member said this is a forum and we can put our opinions on here without getting nasty to each other. as the OP asked me , are we still going fishing ? hell yes... will we argue in the future about something we dont agreed with ..hell yes... but one thing for sure is that I am a better fisherman than he is.

Kevvy.....why say "Well there is no win here for anybody, not saying we have to win"......BUT that's exactly what your saying ....you have some need to win ...to prove that your way of parenting is better than anybody's.......this post was about a Father Daughter moment ...which you hijacked and changed into a Bad parenting rant.

You say there is no need to get nasty ....but That's all you've done...Is Attacked me Personally ....let me remind you of your first post

QUOTE:" I do not agree with locking your daughter out of the house. How cruel this was of you.and your poor wife had to sit there while her daughter was asking to be let in. People like you make me sick . Your children turned out ok because the truth be known they are scared of you ." AND then in a later post you inferred that I was not a true father.

And your Vitril has continued .....I, on the other hand have responded with nothing but calm and reason (of which you have NEVER responded directly to any my Posts...I assume because you know the truth therein and are unable to respond rationally).....and have not attacked you personally (however easy that may be! ).

Not sure with that attitude how you think you can be better at anything than someone else.....is that what's important to you...being better than everyone else?

Its time you learn this is a BIG world with many people, different lives, different situations, and different solutions.........that's what part of this life is about.

GET A GRIP

Edited November 1, 2013 by beachproperty

[crumpled]

Forethat - Post 75.

What on earth has a high school degree got to do with parenting and rearing children? Do you seriously think that people without this level of education cannot rear children correctly?

[Forethat]

Forethat - Post 75.

What on earth has a high school degree got to do with parenting and rearing children? Do you seriously think that people without this level of education cannot rear children correctly?

Actually, parenting styles varies and is very much dependent on the parents education. This is also directly linked to the child's performance and behavioural specifics.

Statistically, there's a lot to be learned from this. I am not saying that it is right or that it applies to ALL parents, but statistically speaking the lower the parents education the worse the parent. There are of course other factors, for instance environmental differences that contribute to the complex factors that must be weighed in to the equation when deciding parental performance and success rate.

Personally, I want to believe that a single mom with no education and a low paid job living in a neighbourhood filled with the problems that usually exist in that environment is faced with a job ten times harder than a rich family while at the same time working harder to ensure intellectual development, a view that is also supported by research: (Kathryn Drummond and Deborah Stipek (2004)), so the comparison wobbles, but statistics doesn't lie when it comes to the number of young people roaming the streets of a poor neighbourhood (Ermish 2001) and (Yaqub, 2002). There is also a LOT of research on educational qualification and similar comparisons between low educated parents and their academically experienced counterparts. The statistics doesn't lie. Sorry to be the one to break the news.

You should look it up. Here's a start:

parenting-poverty.pdf

[Forethat]

Well there is no win here for anybody , not saying we have to win , i have my views and other people share the same and the OP has his which people feel the same . So as one member said this is a forum and we can put our opinions on here without getting nasty to each other. as the OP asked me , are we still going fishing ? hell yes... will we argue in the future about something we dont agreed with ..hell yes... but one thing for sure is that I am a better fisherman than he is.

Kevvy.....why say "Well there is no win here for anybody, not saying we have to win"......BUT that's exactly what your saying ....you have some need to win ...to prove that your way of parenting is better than anybody's.......this post was about a Father Daughter moment ...which you hijacked and changed into a Bad parenting rant.

You say there is no need to get nasty ....but That's all you've done...Is Attacked me Personally ....let me remind you of your first post

QUOTE:" I do not agree with locking your daughter out of the house. How cruel this was of you.and your poor wife had to sit there while her daughter was asking to be let in. People like you make me sick . Your children turned out ok because the truth be known they are scared of you ." AND then in a later post you inferred that I was not a true father.

And your Vitril has continued .....I, on the other hand have responded with nothing but calm and reason (of which you have NEVER responded directly to any my Posts...I assume because you know the truth therein and are unable to respond rationally).....and have not attacked you personally (however easy that may be! ).

Not sure with that attitude how you think you can be better at anything than someone else.....is that what's important to you...being better than everyone else?

Its time you learn this is a BIG world with many people, different lives, different situations, and different solutions.........that's what part of this life is about.

GET A GRIP

Personally, I think the way I would have dealt with this if I was you would have been to say:

"yea, I know it was a shitty thing to do, I probably over-reacted a little in the heat of the moment, but hey ho...glad it worked out and that it didn't backfire"

My $0.02....

[crumpled]

Forethat - Post 75.

What on earth has a high school degree got to do with parenting and rearing children? Do you seriously think that people without this level of education cannot rear children correctly?

Actually, parenting styles varies and is very much dependent on the parents education. This is also directly linked to the child's performance and behavioural specifics.

Statistically, there's a lot to be learned from this. I am not saying that it is right or that it applies to ALL parents, but statistically speaking the lower the parents education the worse the parent. There are of course other factors, for instance environmental differences that contribute to the complex factors that must be weighed in to the equation when deciding parental performance and success rate.

Personally, I want to believe that a single mom with no education and a low paid job living in a neighbourhood filled with the problems that usually exist in that environment is faced with a job ten times harder than a rich family while at the same time working harder to ensure intellectual development, a view that is also supported by research: (Kathryn Drummond and Deborah Stipek (2004)), so the comparison wobbles, but statistics doesn't lie when it comes to the number of young people roaming the streets of a poor neighbourhood (Ermish 2001) and (Yaqub, 2002). There is also a LOT of research on educational qualification and similar comparisons between low educated parents and their academically experienced counterparts. The statistics doesn't lie. Sorry to be the one to break the news.

You should look it up. Here's a start:

parenting-poverty.pdf

The vast and amount of dysfunctional children raised by wealthy, educated parents that are into drugs, terrorism, murder and numerous other dysfunctional ways tells me that education and wealth have nothing to do with being a parent. There are many drunken, even alcoholic, rich parents. Voilent ones too.

Does being rich and educated stop you from raising a rapist, child molester or a murderer? I doubt it very much.

Parenting is not something you can teach people in a classroom. You can offer guidance and assistance to those parents with wayward children. You can advise on pitfalls. But every child is different.

These children are not robots that come off an assembly line pre-programmed. They are affected by many stimuli both inside and outside the home. They are affected by peer pressure and numerous problems as they grow up. They also have their own set of genes that also help to dictate what sort of person they grow up to be.

Many great and ordinary people in this world have been raised by parents or a parent from a poor backgound who have had nothing more than a basic school education.

Parents can guide, advise and do their best in raising a child but the child has to want to follow those guidlines.

Your final throw is that statistics do not lie. Since when do statistics not lie? Statistics are there to be manipulated by whoever wants to turn them to their advantage or to the disadvantage of others.

[geronimo]

Used to do the same thing to my two teenage sons, they would sleep on the porch until dawn (covered in mossie bites). Didn't take long for them to understand.

[Forethat]

Forethat - Post 75.

What on earth has a high school degree got to do with parenting and rearing children? Do you seriously think that people without this level of education cannot rear children correctly?

Actually, parenting styles varies and is very much dependent on the parents education. This is also directly linked to the child's performance and behavioural specifics.

Statistically, there's a lot to be learned from this. I am not saying that it is right or that it applies to ALL parents, but statistically speaking the lower the parents education the worse the parent. There are of course other factors, for instance environmental differences that contribute to the complex factors that must be weighed in to the equation when deciding parental performance and success rate.

Personally, I want to believe that a single mom with no education and a low paid job living in a neighbourhood filled with the problems that usually exist in that environment is faced with a job ten times harder than a rich family while at the same time working harder to ensure intellectual development, a view that is also supported by research: (Kathryn Drummond and Deborah Stipek (2004)), so the comparison wobbles, but statistics doesn't lie when it comes to the number of young people roaming the streets of a poor neighbourhood (Ermish 2001) and (Yaqub, 2002). There is also a LOT of research on educational qualification and similar comparisons between low educated parents and their academically experienced counterparts. The statistics doesn't lie. Sorry to be the one to break the news.

You should look it up. Here's a start:

parenting-poverty.pdf

The vast and amount of dysfunctional children raised by wealthy, educated parents that are into drugs, terrorism, murder and numerous other dysfunctional ways tells me that education and wealth have nothing to do with being a parent. There are many drunken, even alcoholic, rich parents. Voilent ones too.

Does being rich and educated stop you from raising a rapist, child molester or a murderer? I doubt it very much.

Parenting is not something you can teach people in a classroom. You can offer guidance and assistance to those parents with wayward children. You can advise on pitfalls. But every child is different.

These children are not robots that come off an assembly line pre-programmed. They are affected by many stimuli both inside and outside the home. They are affected by peer pressure and numerous problems as they grow up. They also have their own set of genes that also help to dictate what sort of person they grow up to be.

Many great and ordinary people in this world have been raised by parents or a parent from a poor backgound who have had nothing more than a basic school education.

Parents can guide, advise and do their best in raising a child but the child has to want to follow those guidlines.

Your final throw is that statistics do not lie. Since when do statistics not lie? Statistics are there to be manipulated by whoever wants to turn them to their advantage or to the disadvantage of others.

How awful it may sound, research is the preferred way to approach and investigate an unknown condition in a scientific way. If you feel there's a better way, you should develop your theory and get it published. There's an entire scientific community out there who'd be excited.

Until then I trust the concept of research and critical review. And in this case it clearly shows that parents with little or no education are more likely to end up parenting "wayward" children, as you called them. If you read my post you'll also notice that I have already made a comment regarding the potential disqualification of the statistics based on external factors influencing the outcome - for a true comparison one would have to isolate the core issue, something that is unlikely due to its practical difficulties and - to my knowledge - something the has never been done; hence my comment.

I agree with almost everything in your post, I even suspect our view in this matter might be the scientifically correct one.

[beachproperty]

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

---Rodney Dangerfield

[Forethat]

Regardless of whether the concept of "locking your teenager out of the house" is a method that proved to be successful in this individual case, may I suggest that those who are interested in finding out whether this is actually legal or even considered the most effective approach to parenting, why not do a little googling? I'll help you out:
Google "Locking a teenager out of the house"

It is evident that parents who revert to depraving behaviour do so because they dont know how to deal with the situation. One would be able to accept this if it was impossible or difficult to find information relating to this problem, but that's not the case anymore - anyone with basic knowledge and internet access would be able to acquire the required knowledge in days (if not hours) and approach the problem in a better way.

Again, in this specific case the OP was successful, and I dont think anyone is unhappy about that. Was it the morally right thing to do, and was it legal? Nah, not really...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200911/effective-punishment-the-adolescent

[BookMan]

Without wishing to enter into an argument I dont think what you did was that wise, it may have resulted in the desired response in this particular incident but that was more luck than judgement in my opinion.

I wonder how you would have felt had she fallen off the awning in the dark and received severe head injuries or worse?

Or been attacked and raped as a result of not being able to go home?, sorry but that would have been my first consideration, her SAFETY!, personally I would have just grounded her until she could follow the rules.

As for Xmas tree, Thais love anything sparkly, twinkly and flashing Lights etc, but nice gesture as you say.

I appreciate your response.....and you may be right (but I might've had to end up grounding her for life as she previously had no discipline).....In this particular instance it worked (and I guess luckily for me) .....to me it came down to "how do you tame a wild mustang?" tie it up and keep it in the coral? No I don't think so and I didn't think grounding would work either....

I'm a little old school, and grounding someone really doesn't seem like discipline to me ...IMHO

but still appreciate your input.

Just as a side note.....have 5 children (3 adopted Thai) and they are all GEMS....turned out great .....so I must have done something right as I was always the disciplinarian

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I do not agree with locking your daughter out of the house. How cruel this was of you.and your poor wife had to sit there while her daughter was asking to be let in. People like you make me sick . Your children turned out ok because the truth be known they are scared of you .

If she was scared of him she probably wouldn't have come home again at all. Frankly, I don't see where the cruelty is. Maybe better she is out at 15 drinking, taking drugs, having sex, riding about too fast in cars, deciding herself what time is appropriate to come home?

[Forethat]

If she was scared of him she probably wouldn't have come home again at all. Frankly, I don't see where the cruelty is. Maybe better she is out at 15 drinking, taking drugs, having sex, riding about too fast in cars, deciding herself what time is appropriate to come home?

Thanks for so clearly demonstrating the risks OP exposed this girl to. Personally, I would never have done anything similar to my daughter, and even if I did, I would be man enough to admit it was a shitty thing to do.

A child should be brought up to recognise the err of staying out until morning, and the relationship should be such that in ANY situation, the child should think of parents and home as unconditional. If a parent fail so miserably teaching these values, the child should not be punished.

I wrote in my first posts in this thread that the problem is not the child. My view has not changed. In fact, I am more convinced than ever that OP shouldn't be a parent at all. In my opinion, a parent doesn't threaten his family and then jump on an internet forum and brag about how he made his daughter cry and beg to be let in to the house while her mother cried and begged for her to be let in to the house, that's in my opinion exactly what an a**hole would do. I am not saying that I'm right, but that's my opinion.

My $0.02

Edited November 2, 2013 by Forethat

[BookMan]

If she was scared of him she probably wouldn't have come home again at all. Frankly, I don't see where the cruelty is. Maybe better she is out at 15 drinking, taking drugs, having sex, riding about too fast in cars, deciding herself what time is appropriate to come home?

Thanks for so clearly demonstrating the risks OP exposed this girl to. Personally, I would never have done anything similar to my daughter, and even if I did, I would be man enough to admit it was a shitty thing to do.

A child should be brought up to recognise the err of staying out until morning, and the relationship should be such that in ANY situation, the child should think of parents and home as unconditional. If a parent fail so miserably teaching these values, the child should not be punished.

I wrote in my first posts in this thread that the problem is not the child. My view has not changed. In fact, I am more convinced that OP shouldn't be a parent at all. In my opinion, a parent doesn't threaten his family and then jump on an internet forum and brag about how he made his daughter cry and beg to be let in to the house while her mother cried and begged for her to be let in to the house, that's in my opinion exactly what an a**hole would do.

My $0.02

The OP used an example of some tough love guiding his step daughter through a potentially dangerous teenage period. It worked out well and good.

I guess only the daughter herself can judge her father's actions with the hindsight of a few years between. Be interesting what she had to say eh?

[Forethat]

The OP used an example of some tough love guiding his step daughter through a potentially dangerous teenage period. It worked out well and good.

I guess only the daughter herself can judge her father's actions with the hindsight of a few years between. Be interesting what she had to say eh?

As I have have stated before (several times, in fact): I dont think anyone is disputing the fact that it turned out well. I'm even confident every poster is happy it did.

But it was still a shitty thing to do.

[BookMan]

The OP used an example of some tough love guiding his step daughter through a potentially dangerous teenage period. It worked out well and good.

I guess only the daughter herself can judge her father's actions with the hindsight of a few years between. Be interesting what she had to say eh?

As I have have stated before (several times, in fact): I dont think anyone is disputing the fact that it turned out well. I'm even confident every poster is happy it did.

But it was still a shitty thing to do.

Life isn't always feel good moments.

Like I said, it would be interesting what judgement the daughter gave the action.

[Forethat]

Life isn't always feel good moments.

Exactly, sometimes one just have to man up and admit to have done a shitty thing.

If I'm allowed to speculate, I want to believe that even the girl subject to this discussion would be able to identify HER mistake and admit that staying out until 2AM against her parents order was a shitty thing to do. I get the impression OP has long ago realised his wrongdoings but struggle with the idea of admitting that he did anything wrong. Just an opinion, I could be wrong.

[beachproperty]

The OP used an example of some tough love guiding his step daughter through a potentially dangerous teenage period. It worked out well and good.

I guess only the daughter herself can judge her father's actions with the hindsight of a few years between. Be interesting what she had to say eh?

As I have have stated before (several times, in fact): I dont think anyone is disputing the fact that it turned out well. I'm even confident every poster is happy it did.

But it was still a shitty thing to do.

Life isn't always feel good moments.

Like I said, it would be interesting what judgement the daughter gave the action.

I can only tell what her actions are today and what she is like.....She today is the most loving, caring thoughtful daughter any father could ask for .....she asks me constantly "are you OK?", "Can I get you something?" or "is there anything I can do for you, Papa?"....

She is free to say and do what she likes now (she is 21) but she wants to be with her Mom and Me....which is fine with us...she will always be welcome with loving arms.

[Stradavarius37]

This topic topic has run its course. We need a good Thailand double pricing thread !!!

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[beachproperty]

Well....the results so far speak for themselves......17 in support of me (beachproperty) and 5 against (kevvy) ...

.I believe the discussion was lively and constructive overall, except for the few who thought adding malicious comments and expletives were appropriate or others who tried to sidetrack the issue by not responding directly to what this post was about or even to what the facts in this case were. I do believe I took the correct action and although some did not understand, I was monitoring the situation at ALL times and would NOT have locked her out all night (or for that matter forever). This incident was only the beginning of her testing the boundaries of what she could do and it was always met with a firm but loving hand......As indicated in the post she is the most wonderful, intelligent, exciting . and vibrant person to be around and it was my pleasure and honor to see her blossom so...

Thank you all for your input.....if you wish to post further thoughts on the matter please do, as I believe (as noted by the polarization) this is an important issue ...

[Stradavarius37]

Well....the results so far speak for themselves......17 in support of me (beachproperty) and 5 against (kevvy) ...

.I believe the discussion was lively and constructive overall, except for the few who thought adding malicious comments and expletives were appropriate or others who tried to sidetrack the issue by not responding directly to what this post was about or even to what the facts in this case were. I do believe I took the correct action and although some did not understand, I was monitoring the situation at ALL times and would NOT have locked her out all night (or for that matter forever). This incident was only the beginning of her testing the boundaries of what she could do and it was always met with a firm but loving hand......As indicated in the post she is the most wonderful, intelligent, exciting . and vibrant person to be around and it was my pleasure and honor to see her blossom so...

Thank you all for your input.....if you wish to post further thoughts on the matter please do, as I believe (as noted by the polarization) this is an important issue ...

I know that if I had received validation of my parenting choices from anonymous internet-forum keyboard warriors - I would feel completely vindicated and confident in my choices - and I need that validation, which is why I would ask them in the first place....

[Forethat]

Well....the results so far speak for themselves......17 in support of me (beachproperty) and 5 against (kevvy) ...

You dont know anything about research or statistics, do you?

In this case there is an obvious case of contamination, since there's is an obvious risk that a number of the posters was never aware of the "poll' (why didn't you start a POLL if that was your intention? I fail to recognise that) but liked your post for other reasons. For instance, they might have liked the story or something else.

When you collect quantitative information you need to realise that there's is a difference between opinion or factual information. You won't get either using your method, so declaring some sort of result in the current situation. I am not saying that a majority of posters on TV WOULD agree with your style of parenting, that may very well be the case, but the current "poll" is not a poll.

I can create a poll if you want to. It's not going to provide any factual information, but at least a direction of opinion.

In a similar way, I am sure a majority is of the opinion that speed limits are set too low and that they should be increased, that doesn't mean it's a good thing to drive faster or to change the limit unless the risk is mitigated.

Edited November 2, 2013 by Forethat