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Posted

What a waste. I wish he had reached out. This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

RIP Mike - I agree, this is the most selfish decision anyone can make - but then again, I have always said - "There is Nothing or Nobody I feel that strongly about that would make me want to hurt ME!!" and some might think that is cold & selfish....... Time heals all wounds, and Thailand is a great to heal...............just hope nothing is amiss with his death - there are too many suicides in Pattaya. coffee1.gif

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Posted
Suicide destroys more than the life that's been taken. Loved ones left behind have to grapple with many unpleasant feelings, including self-doubt and even the fear that they themselves may be susceptible to those same feelings of depression. When someone makes the decision to kill themselves, they hurt other people who care for them-greatly.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/taking-your-own-life-hurts-others

I am sure in this type of situation when someone kills themselves one of their primary motives is to hurt their ex, unfortunately his actions will also hurt many friends and family.

It is selfish...

Posted

What a waste. I wish he had reached out. This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

RIP Mike - I agree, this is the most selfish decision anyone can make - but then again, I have always said - "There is Nothing or Nobody I feel that strongly about that would make me want to hurt ME!!" and some might think that is cold & selfish....... Time heals all wounds, and Thailand is a great to heal...............just hope nothing is amiss with his death - there are too many suicides in Pattaya. coffee1.gif

Agreed. Foreigners and Thais alike... Leapers and Lemmings! My sympathy goes to the former.

Posted

better to die by your own hand , than trhat of another .. which is more typical of

what happens in Thailand to desperate foreigners ..

RIP wai.gif

Posted

My wife translated this from her Thai newspaper when she read it. It said his other half sold his house and "their" belongings and fled.

At that age it is hard to start again.

RIP

That's really strange. Guess no one could start over again being 60, or older. Hope this woman will live a very difficult life now.-wai2.gif

A good friend told me "I will not put all of my capital or all of my emotions in Thailand".

He will always be able to start over again.

RIP "Mike"

  • Like 1
Posted

This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

Some believe it's also the bravest.

I thought about that, too, but aren't you describing "the ultimate sacrifice" instead of what I described? It might be difficult to explain why a suicide was an ultimate sacrifice if there are loved ones left behind who can vouch that this was not necessary and that they would have helped; even worse, left to pick up the pieces and ask "why?". It is not as if his death (rest his soul) was going to save anyone, and moreover, to be mislead into this kind of impaired thinking (were it so) is a tragedy at best. Brave for what? For who; and were they made aware of this possible (I admit possible) brave deed? I don't think so in this case.

Neither selfish, unless he had small kids, nor brave because when someone gets to that stage they just want out - and the quicker the better as far as they are concerned.

Posted

.....whenever there is an issue of 'conflict' with another party.......ALL possibilities have to be investigated.....

....I don't think one should go on 'hearsay'.....from his 'friend'......is there any real proof....

(...like they have written again and again....the Thai will always be believed.....

........so then how can you know the truth without an impartial investigation...)

agree mate,,suicide..or suicided...big differnce

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm not sure I buy into the "selfish" or "coward" or "bravest" descriptions for describing motivations for suicide anymore. I used to think that but not anymore. I had a friend kill himself (actually a few but I'll stick to this one) and I was very angry at him at the time but as I thought about it more and tried to imagine how terrible he must have been feeling at that moment, I realized I couldn't imagine the pain he must have been going through.

I think it is a lot more complicated and probably more about despair in which the pain is so great that anything else just doesn't register anymore. I'm sure there are people that off themselves for selfish and other reasons but it just seems too simplistic to say somebody did it for this or that reason.

A lot of people do not realise that the actual physical pain of depression can be worse than anyone can imagine and that the final goodbye is a way of alleviating this. To say this is the cowards way out is utter bullshit. We are programmed to survive no matter what. To take your own life is the ultimate act of bravery but for all the wrong reasons admittedly.

Posted
Suicide destroys more than the life that's been taken. Loved ones left behind have to grapple with many unpleasant feelings, including self-doubt and even the fear that they themselves may be susceptible to those same feelings of depression. When someone makes the decision to kill themselves, they hurt other people who care for them-greatly.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/taking-your-own-life-hurts-others

I am sure in this type of situation when someone kills themselves one of their primary motives is to hurt their ex, unfortunately his actions will also hurt many friends and family.

It is selfish...

bullsh!t

Posted

Die is not solution for all as the spirit still live in until the time is done, I am sorry for posting in this manner but just want to help those to think that dead ends everything was wrong . It just a beginning as the pain for family members and loved one to accept the truth. Go to monkshood for few weeks or months until find the way out .

Some people are glad to leave and are ready. They want no more part of this (<deleted> up)world. The world is not getting any better...it's obvious.

  • Like 1
Posted
Suicide destroys more than the life that's been taken. Loved ones left behind have to grapple with many unpleasant feelings, including self-doubt and even the fear that they themselves may be susceptible to those same feelings of depression. When someone makes the decision to kill themselves, they hurt other people who care for them-greatly.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/taking-your-own-life-hurts-others

I am sure in this type of situation when someone kills themselves one of their primary motives is to hurt their ex, unfortunately his actions will also hurt many friends and family.

It is selfish...

They will get over it.

Posted (edited)

Everyone has their own opinions on suicide....I think it's such a personal decision

and no one can be sure if the person felt they had another way out of a difficult

situation, or they were just tired of fighting and struggling every day. Perhaps,

this life isn't for everyone. As for all the "loved ones" left behind...They really

weren't any comfort to the person who took his life....were they?

I have been very fortunate and always have seen life as an adventure filled with

fun and family, and good things. Wish everyone was so lucky........

I think you hit the nail on the head here: "As for the loved one's left behind...They really weren't any comfort to the person who took his life....were they?"

We don't want to listen, do we? Have you had a problem and tried to explain it another person. You're not even an 1/8th of the way into speaking when he/she starts back with "Let me tell you about..." No one wants to listen, they just want to use the opportunity of your problem to sprout off their own stories. We have 2 ears and 1 mouth but we use these disproportionately.

RIP, young fellow.

Interesting post and true to a degree. The fellowship I belong to is unique in that we share our life's ups and downs with no one butting in while the speaker has his say. Many of my personal pains have been eased by sharing and by listening as well.

The spirit of healing is often found in the company of strangers who have a common goal and focus. Back in January I had ideations of self destruction and the support i found gave me a new perspective and hope.

Rest in Peace Mike.

Edited by Benmart
Posted

Who knows if this is a suicide or not ? It coud have been arranged after all TIT.

Anyway RIP

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

Some believe it's also the bravest.

And some also believe it's the best answer to all their problems.

Nothing selfish or brave about suicide when you're suffering from depression. It's an illness that needs treating with something more than "pull yourself together" before you see it as the only answer.

People may say that cancer patients are just selfish or brave for being a burden on their loved ones. Thought not.

Posted

My wife translated this from her Thai newspaper when she read it. It said his other half sold his house and "their" belongings and fled.

At that age it is hard to start again.

RIP

It's the oft repeated quote that don't invest in Thailand what you can't walk away from.

I have invested a lot, in time and money.

I arrived on a plane and can leave on one, in fact I do every month or so.

Probably always leaves the Thai wife in doubt, though think she knows better, but must make them twitchy. She knows I still have property outside Thailand.

Probably this poor guy was down to his last.

Posted
Suicide destroys more than the life that's been taken. Loved ones left behind have to grapple with many unpleasant feelings, including self-doubt and even the fear that they themselves may be susceptible to those same feelings of depression. When someone makes the decision to kill themselves, they hurt other people who care for them-greatly.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201108/taking-your-own-life-hurts-others

I am sure in this type of situation when someone kills themselves one of their primary motives is to hurt their ex, unfortunately his actions will also hurt many friends and family.

It is selfish...

bullsh!t

These threads about someone's death tend to bring out the BS in abundance, which is seldom in short supply here under any circumstances. It's actually disturbing to note how excited some people get ... not about the poor man's death, but in promoting their philosophies and their dearly held conspiracy theories. If only such interest in him had existed before he died, maybe he would have felt less driven by despair.

Posted

Everyone has their own opinions on suicide....I think it's such a personal decision

and no one can be sure if the person felt they had another way out of a difficult

situation, or they were just tired of fighting and struggling every day. Perhaps,

this life isn't for everyone. As for all the "loved ones" left behind...They really

weren't any comfort to the person who took his life....were they?

I have been very fortunate and always have seen life as an adventure filled with

fun and family, and good things. Wish everyone was so lucky........

I think you hit the nail on the head here: "As for the loved one's left behind...They really weren't any comfort to the person who took his life....were they?"

We don't want to listen, do we? Have you had a problem and tried to explain it another person. You're not even an 1/8th of the way into speaking when he/she starts back with "Let me tell you about..." No one wants to listen, they just want to use the opportunity of your problem to sprout off their own stories. We have 2 ears and 1 mouth but we use these disproportionately.

RIP, young fellow.

Interesting post and true to a degree. The fellowship I belong to is unique in that we share our life's ups and downs with no one butting in while the speaker has his say. Many of my personal pains have been eased by sharing and by listening as well.

The spirit of healing is often found in the company of strangers who have a common goal and focus. Back in January I had ideations of self destruction and the support i found gave me a new perspective and hope.

Rest in Peace Mike.

you're a very blessed man, Benmart, with such a wonderful fellowship. May it continue for many years to come.

Posted

Have seen lots of posts about the poor fellow being "selfish" or "brave", but only a couple mentioning "depression".

Although I have no idea if in fact this poor chap was suffering from it, but if he was, and it seems highly likely if what he was going through is true, then the mind is not in its normal state. There are no boundaries any more, no right or wrong, and the whole thought processes are turned upside down, if indeed they even exist in a recognisable fashion.

The issue does not become one of what most posters are discussing here, because the mind is completely oblivious to many things which our society has deemed we have to stick to, and it can become a black, brooding place in which thoughts no longer make any sense.

So the decision to end one's life is done purely to remove oneself from that place and no consequences are necessarily thought through.

RIP.

Posted

What a waste. I wish he had reached out. This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

It may seem like the most selfish decision. But does it really matter? Everyone is selfish. Some more than others. He was at a ripe old age. Maybe he had just had enough of this world and was ready to move on.

We all have different perspectives on life. Actor George Sanders told fellow actor David Niven in 1936, aged 30, 'when I've had enough of this life I'll choose when to make my exit'. In 1972 aged 66 he did exactly that. There have been times during particularly troubled times with clinical depression in my life when it has crossed my mind, I couldn't begin to explain why. Fortunately I came through that fog, others don't. Strangers passing comment on someone choosing to do so on a forum such as this only goes to show that privacy is becoming more and more a thing of the past. Our opinions mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Let's hope he found peace and his family will eventually do likewise.

  • Like 2
Posted

I knew Mick when he was in Bahrain many years ago. Sad to hear about his passing.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

My wife translated this from her Thai newspaper when she read it. It said his other half sold his house and "their" belongings and fled.

At that age it is hard to start again.

RIP

A first world pension can stretch a long way in the 3rd world, better life than none.

Posted

This is the worst and most selfish decision anyone can make only once in their life.

Some believe it's also the bravest.

What's brave in giving up on everything?

I don't think it's brave and I don't think it's selfish.

It's just a decision a person makes when he/she is tired of living, for whatever reason.

Its not a decision made with rational thought, thats the point.

The guy was probably suffering from clinical depression, maybe without knowing it himself.

Someone very close to me tried it (luckily we found him and got him to the hospital in time, but it was touch and go)

He was suffering a nervous breakdown at the time, which of course we was aware of, but I never thought he'd try suicide.

I was angry after, and thought it selfish to try leave us, and leave us to deal with the pain and shitstorm that would follow.

He knows it, and now, recovered, back to his old self wouldn't consider it, and I think is now embarrassed by it all.

My point is, that it's a real illness, and this idea that someone just thinks, "well, thats enough of this life for me, bye bye", like choosing what to wear in the morning isn't right.

They have a deluded idea that there is no other way out, and that they cant get through whatever the crisis is.

Pile up enough stress, pressure, pain etc etc and it can twist someone enough to do the unthinkable.

RIP Mike.

  • Like 2
Posted

My wife translated this from her Thai newspaper when she read it. It said his other half sold his house and "their" belongings and fled.

At that age it is hard to start again.

RIP

A first world pension can stretch a long way in the 3rd world, better life than none.

I doubt he had one to be honest.

Posted

I knew Mick and Lynda for many years in Bahrain, used to go out drinking with them, boating (skiing) rugby club.We had some wild days and I find it hard to believe this happened.

The last I heard he was still with Lynda and she was working with a property company and he was on the go kart track (and has been for about 6 years, but maybe not the same one). They have a place in South Africa but not heard they had split up (Lynda is still in touch with friends and last saw her a couple of years ago).

Never trust any news from Thailand, Jim Green and Nick Lamb are just two who were the wrong end on the smiling culture.

Sad day.

R.I.P. Mick, condolences to his kids in England and Lynda.

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