Why go to so much trouble marrying/dating someone of a different culture, nationality, mentality etc

[LaraC]

I think thai women are more feminine and willing to marry for love when compared to women of my own country who are mostly materialistic. In addition, I also like thai culture. Currently learning thai language bit by bit. Not easy but at least I try.

hmm...watch this space.

[LaraC]

Most western woman do not even know what it is like to be a real woman.

Nah, that's just nonsense.

Sometimes I wonder just what the hell some of you were doing in your home countries. I mean like... what you were wearing, how you smelt, what your personality was like... No offence meant, it's just when I read people saying things like what you said- "being with most western women is a bit like being with a man" - and then I look at the kind of girls I dated back home, there's a massive gulf between these two things. I dated smart, sexy confident and attractive women. And you apparently could only date people who were masculine.

So yeah... I'm not discounting your experience or your views on the world, it's just when you make sweeping statements like that, it's sounds to me like it's more about your failings rather than the failings of the opposite sex, if you see what I mean. Jesus, that sounds harsh, sorry. It's not meant to be nearly as offensive as it probably sounds.

You have sandwiched that nicely, in order to attempt to cushion the reality blow.

[Bernie9366]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

That`s a very good looking bloke. 555

[thailiketoo]

very astute summation of what often happens here.

You hit the nail on the head.

So many losers believe the fantasy of subservient asian women, then they arrive and first contact is with prostitutes, young pretty and .... subservient, for a price.

wow so the fantasy is real?

Then they marry one, no real attempt at compatibility, all they want is sex and then for them to go away.

Well it always ends in tears.

On the other hand, if you make a real effort to meet a women of similar age and interests, you've got a good chance at a successful marriage.

If I made a real effort to meet a woman the same age I would need to take her to a nursing home.

[dunks]

Well put Fredob43!

Hoe you have many more years of happiness.

I have to agree some what with the OP.

Have heard of lot's of problem case's more than the one's that go right.

I am English been married to an English girl lasted 3 years have had several lady friend's since then all English and all money grabber's or played around on the side.

Been coming to Thailand for many year's eventually met up with a Thai lady been an item for over 13 years now married.

Does she moan ask for monies well NO in fact quite the opposite save's me bundle's we laugh every day and I've never been so happy. Problems what problems.

It seems to me if you get on alright it doesn't matter what culture they are, you do have to get used to their quirky way's and they with yours, if you can do that you'll stand a good chance of it working out in the end.

There will always be one's that don't go right who's fault who know, the ladies that Farang's meet in bars are on for a slippery slide from the start you can never compare like with like.

Every relationship has it's ups and downs just go with the flow if it doesn't suit get out.

But I know where Id sooner be.

[FiftyTwo]

On the other hand, if you make a real effort to meet a women of similar age and interests, you've got a good chance at a successful marriage.

What would I want (in bed) with a 60 year old woman?

Get a grip man!

[bobmac10]

Hey man, my wife is 62, looks great, has a great body, loves sex and loves me for who I am, not how much money I am going to give her and her family.

stop kidding yourself.

Young women cannot find old men sexy or physically attractive.

Only if the money is there.

try telling your young girl that you are now broke!

See her run!

[sangsom69]

I agree with the OP to a degree despite it being troll-bait.

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate. If you are not fluent in Thai, or your GF isn't fluent in English, then where's the profound connection: great sex and making you laugh you can find in any bar in Thailand. Cleaning the house and great food you can find with domestic help. But then a lot of fellas seem to express bitterness about women back home who had the audacity to have personalities and challenge them when they were being pr*cks, so welcome to paradise.

If you were lucky enough to have relationships with women who were attractive in every sense back home, then Thailand isn't paradise, but a place where you actually find it more difficult to find a GF due to communication issues. Fair play to the posters who've traversed that and have normal healthy relationships. From my experience, they are a minority .

You don't seem to realise how many western men hate western women. Google it if you are interested. Many web sites on the subject.

Sadly, I do, as I've listened in bars to many of them bang on with their bitter, generalising BS. But hate's a strong word. Why would anyone of sound mind hate western women for not being what they want them to be. Preference is a better word. And, it all depends on the reason they prefer them over western women. Because an attractive one or young one at home wouldn't look twice at them? Because they only ever managed to have bloody awful relationships with women at home? Because they were cheated on, or found them insufficiently subservient ? Not always but mainly that's as much to do with the men.

But if you mean men who have a preference for asian looking women over western women, find them more feminine etc or favour traditional relationships with old school power differentials, where they are waited on hand and foot while being the bread winner, then fair enough. Naturally,they will prefer Asian women. But read through these threads, which category would you say most of them fall into?

[thailiketoo]

Hey man, my wife is 62, looks great, has a great body, loves sex and loves me for who I am, not how much money I am going to give her and her family.

stop kidding yourself.

Young women cannot find old men sexy or physically attractive.

Only if the money is there.

try telling your young girl that you are now broke!

See her run!

62 is a young woman for me!

[pigeonjake]

i see the loops come round again,

we seam to do this thread every other month and have done for many years,

as soon as enough new members join this comes up,

trouble is they think they have thought it up,,,lol

have fun

[FiftyTwo]

Hey man, my wife is 62, looks great, has a great body, loves sex and loves me for who I am, not how much money I am going to give her and her family.

stop kidding yourself.

Young women cannot find old men sexy or physically attractive.

Only if the money is there.

try telling your young girl that you are now broke!

See her run!

When did you say you were getting those cataracts sorted?

[rakukenny]

Mexican!

Sent from my SCH-I415 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Beetlejuice]

Many farangs who decide to marry with women from Thailand have certain defects, such as being unattractive or unfashionable and socially inept, misfits, loners, or have done the rounds in their home countries - become stayed in their ways – maybe have grown old and no longer desirable to younger Western women.

So they have read all the reports and media hype that Thai women are loyal, subservient and given a chance to settle down with a home and a little pocket money each week will be content to settle down with any farang, becoming a sweet little housewife and be grateful for it.

Then later the reality hits home that Thai women are no longer the easily available, cute, sweet, young, subservient little princesses as they were made to believe and that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions. This is a main reason why so many farangs go for the more desperate Thai women of the poorer lower classes, because most middle to upper class Thai women would prefer to marry a Thai rather than a farang. Culturally it is considered going down the social ladder to marry a farang, especially if there is a big age gap between them. Then these farangs become disgruntled having not been able to buy the girl of their dreams and their love and will blame all Thais and the country as a whole for their failures and errors of choice or for diving in head first on a pipe dream for what was actually a fanciful hope or scheme, especially if they get conned or scammed for their stupidity.

Fairly good write up there, accurate for a decent percentage of cases I would imagine. Although, the part about Thai women "going down the social ladder". If a western guy was to pull up in the middle of Bangkok in a Ferrari I would guess for a huge amount of wealthy Thai women that notion of "going down the social ladder" would be soon discarded.

And how many Westerners do you personally know in Thailand who own a Ferrari or any other types of vehicles of equal status? Obviously the higher the status of the Westerner, the higher his chances are of mixing with the right crowds, especially if he is a businessman or someone of prominence. This pertains to anywhere in the world.

Of course there are always going to be exceptions to the rule, but on the whole what i said still stands.

Who are you to decide who are the right crowd ? this is the problem with thailand and its inequality I teach My kids they are equal to ANYONE and no matter who it is, they should never fall for this bullshit that they are any lower or higher than the next person, I teach them to treat people with respect and how people treat them.

I know MANY MANY couples here, some with lower class partners as you like to refer to them, and some higher class the common factor between them all is they are all in long term relationships with kids and get on great, so who gives a flying F%$CK what someone like you or anyone else who focus's only the social status THINKS.

Anyone that looks down on a person to me is a piece of shit just because they may not of had the opportunities and the privaleges afforded to them as those with more opportunity and in a country where the color of your skin or social status is more important than being a normal human being and treating people as such. .

Mr Diamond King, you have totally misinterpreted my post.

I am saying that some farang guys have certain insufficiencies that for a multitude of reasons they are not able to gain or have problems forming relationships with Western women, so they try for Thai women that they believe are easier to obtain or in layman’s terms, to pull and that many seek Thai women from the poorer communities of Thai society because they regard these as more likely to accept a farang partner due to the facts that a middle to upper status Thai woman will be more independent and would prefer a Thai partner of equal social status and cultural background, then they blame Thailand when things turn pear shaped for them here.

I am not in the least suggesting that anyone is better than anyone else class wise.

Edited November 10, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[Jackson86]

Mutual respect is important in any relationship. Each side has to treat the other side equally and not discriminate based on occupation, race or social status.

[thailiketoo]

Sunthorn Phu. Phu left behind a legacy of poems that have become famous over time because of their description of Thai history. In 1986, the 200th anniversary of his birth, Phu was honored by UNESCO as a great world poet.

This guy has all the answers.

[Emdog]

" i really wonder why put yourself through so much pain and suffering like complaining how you don't understand her and she doesn't understand you." I think this is reason many farangs left their home countries....! Regarding divorce rates, I would guess that whatever numbers they dug up might be based on "registered" marriages as opposed to the string tying village marriages, which would not appear in the official numbers crunched. I have no numbers to back up my belief, just anecdotes, that perhaps besides the usual material advantages, the farangs as a group are more likely to treat the lady with some care and respect: fewer beatings, fewer mia nois, less gambling/drinking and all that. And many of us actually know how to do some house work or change and light bulb and are happy to do that.

[crazygreg44]

because I have enjoyed a few nice ladies back in my home country, and it has become routine. So for me an Asian lady is a challenge and makes my life having gone round , i tried my luck here and there and I can't say I had a boring life.

Ladies in every country like to talk about the same topics, there is not much of a surprise come when you are a bit older. You can suck really interesting stuff from a good book and the daily worldly news, without having a relationship go spiraling downward. A nice Asian lady is the cream on top of my morning coffee.

... and do you really want to talk it out every day with your old lady ? I wonder if the OP ever was married or engaged. Otherwise he would know that silence is gold . . .

[TheSpade]

On the other hand, if you make a real effort to meet a women of similar age and interests, you've got a good chance at a successful marriage.

What would I want (in bed) with a 60 year old woman?

Get a grip man!

So think how your young girlfriend(s) must feel being in bed with you?

[pigeonjake]

i grew up on a council est in the uk, and im not saying thats a bad thing, gives you a good grounding in life,

yes ive got a few quid now, through hard work,

ive worked in thailand with some of these hi-so thai ladys,, and im telling you now i would sooner be with my poor farmers daughter any time,

its not a class thing being with your wife,,,

if you meet a nice caring lady, what the hell does it matter what class she is??

ive been married over 7 years to my wife, odd tiff, nothing to write home about, i can tell you this it would of been my fault,,

people think on here to much about money,

the only thing i would say to anyone is dont flash your cash about or start buying things till your sure your going to be ghappy,

same as any other country, you wouldnt meet a girl in the uk and say after a week, ill buy a house for us, you wouldnt do it,,

so why the hell some come here and do it is beond me,,lol

jake

[ntg187]

For full disclosure, I am not one who has ever had any problems getting young sexy western women into bed or into a relationship (but I myself am still young - just 31 these days). Below is my thesis followed by an experience I am still trying to make sense of.

Short Time Experience & Conclusions:

I (through many relationships, one night stands, flings, and a failed marriage) have come to the conclusion that 'picking up' for the sole purpose of sex with a girl in the west requires an unnecessary excessive amount of effort. Now that is not to say I do not indulge on a semi-regular basis to the bars/clubs in the USA looking for sex - because I do and am regularly successful. Of course to be successful in picking up a woman from a club in the USA you have to be charming and witty and well let's not get into it all but just say that it is an art form - it requires a certain skill set (that evolves with societal expectations) that most men are never taught. In Thailand to be successful in picking up a woman from a club requires no skill set and virtually no effort but requires a couple of dollars.

The money spent on prostitution in Thailand is on par to the money you might give a one night stand for cab fare back to her home the morning after or even just the cost incurred in buying her a few drinks while 'hitting on her'. While some may not give the girl cab fare or buy her a few drinks - most men would incur a small expense to attain casual sex - which would be on par with the cost paid to the girl directly. This is not a way to morally justify prostitution but merely a way to discuss the monetary costs between the two activities.

Actual Relationship Story:

After having a Thai 'girlfriend' for over a year who has a masters degree in nursing it became apparent that we virtually had nothing to talk about. She, like myself, was educated and she spoke and understood a lot of English. She was less than 5 years younger than me so not much age gap to discuss and she was from a hi-so family in BKK which had much wealth. It was usual for her to always pay for our meals and movie tickets and regularly bought me gifts (clothes, jewelry, even a weekend trip to Macau with her and her mother - who went to check on one of her many businesses). I felt very uncomfortable by this arrangement plus the fact that we never had any meaningful conversations - she never asked me anything about me.

She introduced me to many of her hi-so family friends who were all wealthy business people who asked me more about me than she ever did and that always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Was it a language barrier? Sometimes yes, but mostly no. Was it a trust issue? I couldn't say. I did meet her family many times and was always treated exceptionally well by them, in fact 1 year to the day we started 'dating' or better yet, that she became my 'live-in girlfriend' her father and mother talked to me about sin sot. They told me that in their family they did the opposite and would be giving me money, gold, and business interests and that I should not delay marrying their daughter because I thought I would have to pay them a sin sot.

In the USA most people date for well over a year before becoming engaged so why the rush? I started thinking why would they want to give me money to marry her? What did they want to buy? I have my own small fortune that I earned on my own so I didn't need their money - although it would be nice to have more! What does a hi-so Thai family get from me? Since I am very large in all things monetary and investing I read an article one night about hi-so Chinese families hiring american women as surrogate mothers as means to emigrate to the USA (its real - google it - and for you USA girls, it pays 150K+ per child). Was this hi-so family trying to buy their way to the USA?

[Jackson86]

I know some of you may think that thai women are not worth marrying, but to me they are. Ah well.

[ericthai]

Why go to the trouble of getting married to ANY women....Divorce rates in America are 4.95 per 1000 and in Thailand its .58 per 1000 (http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate )

You do the math!

I'm trying to do the math but need some info. The 1000 figure is that marriages or people? There are 2 people in a marriage so I need to know.

Also, 4.95 lets round up 5 people out of I'm assuming here 1000 people is no bad. So 5 people get divorced about of 1000 so the other 995 stay married.

Odds are very good that a marriage will work, according to these numbers. How long have these people been married, median age etc is all needed to have real states. Thailand is even better so I don't understand you post. You are saying don't get married but the statics you show are proving that divorce rates are low disproving your argument.

[PeterSmiles]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

She must have been pretty before the hideous silicone , breasts like tupperware.

Unfortunately at that point she also had a sausage reeling somewhere.

It may still be there at the time the picture was taken

[HardenedSoul]

You don't seem to realise how many western men hate western women. Google it if you are interested. Many web sites on the subject.

Sadly, I do, as I've listened in bars to many of them bang on with their bitter, generalising BS. But hate's a strong word. Why would anyone of sound mind hate western women for not being what they want them to be. Preference is a better word. And, it all depends on the reason they prefer them over western women. Because an attractive one or young one at home wouldn't look twice at them? Because they only ever managed to have bloody awful relationships with women at home? Because they were cheated on, or found them insufficiently subservient ? Not always but mainly that's as much to do with the men.

But if you mean men who have a preference for asian looking women over western women, find them more feminine etc or favour traditional relationships with old school power differentials, where they are waited on hand and foot while being the bread winner, then fair enough. Naturally,they will prefer Asian women. But read through these threads, which category would you say most of them fall into?

When i first got here a little under 6 years ago, I was stunned by some of the drivel some of these guys would trot out about Western women. I heard all the old chestnuts like "once they hit 30, they get fat", "they don't know how to look after a man", "the bitch just wanted the house" and "she put her career and her friends before me" and they said these things with an air of "tough luck you silly cows; you had your chance but I've got a young Thai bargirl now" I was sure I could hear the collective sigh of 400 million Western women kicking themselves for having let these premium specimens get away.

I remember asking myself where on earth they were meeting these dragons cos I'd never encountered them but then, after a while, I began to see a common streak running between pretty much every whinging wheezer on the subject of Western women. They were all - to a man - wannabe alpha males.

You see, back in the West, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you is concerned because so many women take perfectly good care of themselves financially. Indeed, even in instances where it is enough to get a look in, there's way too much competition from younger, better-looking guys with more money than your average Thai expat barfly.

So they roll up here where any insecure, socially-awkward, alpha male wannabe can pull an attractive woman several notches above the heifers he's been used to settling for back in Farangland.

All he has to do is produce a wallet because here, in Thailand, it's acknowledged that cash levels the playing field with Thais in general and with certain Thai women in particular. In Thailand, those soft skills; those ephemeral, wishy-washy qualities like empathy and understanding that women the world over set so much store by - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Of course, the inability to communicate in anything but Thai-lish means that he can only meet her financial needs.

Next thing you hear, he's slating all Thai women

[kevozman1]

You don't seem to realise how many western men hate western women. Google it if you are interested. Many web sites on the subject.

Sadly, I do, as I've listened in bars to many of them bang on with their bitter, generalising BS. But hate's a strong word. Why would anyone of sound mind hate western women for not being what they want them to be. Preference is a better word. And, it all depends on the reason they prefer them over western women. Because an attractive one or young one at home wouldn't look twice at them? Because they only ever managed to have bloody awful relationships with women at home? Because they were cheated on, or found them insufficiently subservient ? Not always but mainly that's as much to do with the men.

But if you mean men who have a preference for asian looking women over western women, find them more feminine etc or favour traditional relationships with old school power differentials, where they are waited on hand and foot while being the bread winner, then fair enough. Naturally,they will prefer Asian women. But read through these threads, which category would you say most of them fall into?

When i first got here a little under 6 years ago, I was stunned by some of the drivel some of these guys would trot out about Western women. I heard all the old chestnuts like "once they hit 30, they get fat", "they don't know how to look after a man", "the bitch just wanted the house" and "she put her career and her friends before me" and they said these things with an air of "tough luck you silly cows; you had your chance but I've got a young Thai bargirl now" I was sure I could hear the collective sigh of 400 million Western women kicking themselves for having let these premium specimens get away.

I remember asking myself where on earth they were meeting these dragons cos I'd never encountered them but then, after a while, I began to see a common streak running between pretty much every whinging wheezer on the subject of Western women. They were all - to a man - wannabe alpha males.

You see, back in the West, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you is concerned because so many women take perfectly good care of themselves financially. Indeed, even in instances where it is enough to get a look in, there's way too much competition from younger, better-looking guys with more money than your average Thai expat barfly.

So they roll up here where any insecure, socially-awkward, alpha male wannabe can pull an attractive woman several notches above the heifers he's been used to settling for back in Farangland.

All he has to do is produce a wallet because here, in Thailand, it's acknowledged that cash levels the playing field with Thais in general and with certain Thai women in particular. In Thailand, those soft skills; those ephemeral, wishy-washy qualities like empathy and understanding that women the world over set so much store by - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Of course, the inability to communicate in anything but Thai-lish means that he can only meet her financial needs.

Next thing you hear, he's slating all Thai women

Yep, the level of western female hate among some expats seems overdone. I mean personally I have always been attracted more to Asian women to the point where I do not date white women or women of other races for that matter. Goes back to my youth watching kung-<deleted> movies, then video gaming, then visiting Asia blew that up 10x.... anyway, I have my personal tastes in women, but I do not hate western women at all. Seems more healthy dating a woman you have more of a natural attraction to rather than dating a woman from another country out of hatred/spite for your homeland's women.

Edited November 10, 2013 by kevozman1

[MAJIC]

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate.

All this tosh about love, soul mates, life partners, meaningful relationships.

Silly western nonsense! Meaningless rubbish to the other 85% of the world population.

My wife entered into a legal contract to produce babies and sleep with me.

Not really much need for communication there.

It's all about reproduction, nothing else is important.

Hmmmm..........Freud would have a field day with that perspective on life.

I would say Darwin would be more likely to agree i.e reproduction is all we are on this Planet to achieve! and keep the human race surviving,the extras are unecessary additional complications!

[AYJAYDEE]

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate.

All this tosh about love, soul mates, life partners, meaningful relationships.

Silly western nonsense! Meaningless rubbish to the other 85% of the world population.

My wife entered into a legal contract to produce babies and sleep with me.

Not really much need for communication there.

It's all about reproduction, nothing else is important.

Hmmmm..........Freud would have a field day with that perspective on life.

I would say Darwin would be more likely to agree i.e reproduction is all we are on this Planet to achieve! and keep the human race surviving,the extras are unecessary additional complications!

darwin identified ONE purpose. Not sure he would have claimed it was the ONLY purpose

[Jackson86]

For her, I learn her language. I think that's fine.

[FiftyTwo]

When i first got here a little under 6 years ago, I was stunned by some of the drivel some of these guys would trot out about Western women. I heard all the old chestnuts like "once they hit 30, they get fat", "they don't know how to look after a man", "the bitch just wanted the house" and "she put her career and her friends before me" and they said these things with an air of "tough luck you silly cows; you had your chance but I've got a young Thai bargirl now" I was sure I could hear the collective sigh of 400 million Western women kicking themselves for having let these premium specimens get away.

I remember asking myself where on earth they were meeting these dragons cos I'd never encountered them but then, after a while, I began to see a common streak running between pretty much every whinging wheezer on the subject of Western women. They were all - to a man - wannabe alpha males.

You see, back in the West, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you is concerned because so many women take perfectly good care of themselves financially. Indeed, even in instances where it is enough to get a look in, there's way too much competition from younger, better-looking guys with more money than your average Thai expat barfly.

So they roll up here where any insecure, socially-awkward, alpha male wannabe can pull an attractive woman several notches above the heifers he's been used to settling for back in Farangland.

All he has to do is produce a wallet because here, in Thailand, it's acknowledged that cash levels the playing field with Thais in general and with certain Thai women in particular. In Thailand, those soft skills; those ephemeral, wishy-washy qualities like empathy and understanding that women the world over set so much store by - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Of course, the inability to communicate in anything but Thai-lish means that he can only meet her financial needs.

Next thing you hear, he's slating all Thai women

You do post some drivel!

Edited November 11, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[dighambara]

Masochistic...HMMM...???

CHALLENGE - is my way of thinking, adding in the fact that women back home have become too much like men.

Some years ago, in the US, I held the door for the person behind me - being behind me, I had no idea of that person's gender, however, I received a severe tongue lashing for longer than was necessary and afterwards noticed a significant change in attitude of female collegues.

As for Language differences, there are more similarities than most notice...

Some suffixes and words are a little different, having changed thru time and distance, but many are very similar, as they have the same Indian origins.

Edited November 11, 2013 by dighambara