Opinion and advice please on somewhat difficult "relationship" with Thai

[lemoncake]

What do you pay for my time and consultancy fee?

I have the exact answer that you're looking for regarding your staff member, but in line with what you posted (above) on another thread when somebody sought advice on hotels etc., I thought it appropriate that you pay for my advice.

How much are you offering.

Please state your credentials and experience on the matter.

Should i feel your experience is worth something, not only i will pay you consultancy fee but pay you any amount you state to deal with a situation.

HOWEVER

Should she resign within 6 months, you will refund all the money, plus work 7 days per week cleaning the hotel FOR FREE, until you find a new maid, you will then train her at your expense.

Should she stay for 1 years, i will give you back all the money plus double it.

Now if you happy to go ahead, so am i. Naturally this would be legally binding.

Lets see you put your money where your mouth is an expert

[HeijoshinCool]

Thai way?

Thai or not, anyone who refuses to leave your house, purportedly because of a fear of ghosts , is not someone even one's own mother can handle through "talking."

She gets rid of him, she keeps her job. You can let her go when low season comes around.

Heij, the kid is not a bad kid, he is only 16-17 years, naturally he wants to stay in a house with tv, internet and everything else.

I have no doubts asking him to leave would not be an issue sort of speak, its just asking in a way not to offend.

The reason why i am somewhat hesitant as well is because even now that i am back, she continues to help out with the animals.

Some have read i have brought 2 more dogs from Australia(they belonged to my mother) so its somewhat hard to look after 5 when going for walks.

Do note, i did not ask her to help or say anything, she is doing it on her own accord and says she likes go for walks with my dogs twice per day.

So i really do not feel she has a bad streak in her or she intentionally caused the damage.

Her kids, in my opinion simply were not taught house manners. Day after i raised the issue of toothpaste, son stopped using mine, though still no admission of guilt.

Would receiving at least a "sorry" make me feel better? may be

I may well be over reacting and it may well be Thai way or some Thai way.

Ah, now we have more facts to work with. Changes most everything.

Now it sounds like they want to play family.

The messy house might be the least of your problems.

[mrtoad]

I don't know why the OP is asking for advice, he's not listening to anything.

[Thailand2012]

Sorry to say, but BJ has not got a clue at all what so ever.

In what company in the world does a maid know about company tax and other situation?

Did i come on to say i am worried about consequences if i fire her? NO, I said i want to keep her and find a way to deal with a situation.

She doesn't have to know the in's and out's of your business if she has an understanding in thai law in the work place and your'e not above board yes she can cause problems for you.As far as i can see everyone here is trying to give you advice,i'm simply trying to help you out as well.

Allthough if you would be so kind and give us the full circumstances maybe our advice may be a bit more informative.

[lemoncake]

Seems to me you have a number of connected but separate issues.

You asked your most trusted and integral employee to look after your house and 11 animals for 2.5 months. On top of this I presume she was still running your guest house business

If your business and your animals were your number one concern then she did those tasks for you and that should be your main concern and area of appreciation. (Looking after 11 animals for two and a half months is a big task in itself.)

Then you have the issue of damage to your house while you were away. Were you clear with your employee that she could not have family, besides her son, at the house? Were you clear with her that any damages would have to be paid for? Were you clear on what state the house was to be in on your return?

Your expectations might not meet hers and unless you told what you expected before you left...can't hold her to blame. Forget the damage and lost property and write it off as cost of her looking after the house and animals.

Then you have the issue of her being your most integral guesthouse employee. Unfortunately you have mixed personal and business streams, created an issue, and are now seeking redress. Here I would say a lesson learned. Keep the home and business separate. No reason to get rid of her from work.

Lastly you have the issue of the son. Any damage he caused or property he stole is a write off. Forget it. Clearly he has to leave your house, and you don't want to upset your no.1 employee.

Tell him u need the place bug sprayed and he needs to be out of the house. Pay for a cheap room for a week and tell him it is his. What he does after a week is up to him.

You have nailed it and i accept everything you say.

TO be honest i never even thought to state or lay out any terms because

1. I was not thinking as my mothers health was bigger concern

2. I did not even think things like that had to be spoken out loud.

3. I was raised if i stay at someone's house NOT to touch their belongings and if i rearrange anything to return it back to its original state when the owner returns.

Anyhow, i do not look for way to point fingers, but for ways to deal with the situation for both parties to come out on top.

As i mentioned, the kid is not a bad kid and kicking him out would not be an issue, i am though somewhat puzzled why i even have to ask.

He is only 16-17 and not much can be expected from someone his age, i was a teenager myself.

I posted earlier in reply to Heij, may be just an apology and acknowledgement of the problem may help how i feel

[lemoncake]

Sorry to say, but BJ has not got a clue at all what so ever.

In what company in the world does a maid know about company tax and other situation?

Did i come on to say i am worried about consequences if i fire her? NO, I said i want to keep her and find a way to deal with a situation.

She doesn't have to know the in's and out's of your business if she has an understanding in thai law in the work place and your'e not above board yes she can cause problems for you.As far as i can see everyone here is trying to give you advice,i'm simply trying to help you out as well.

Allthough if you would be so kind and give us the full circumstances maybe our advice may be a bit more informative.

If she has an understanding of Thai law, she would no be working as a maid all her life

[lemoncake]

Thai way?

Thai or not, anyone who refuses to leave your house, purportedly because of a fear of ghosts , is not someone even one's own mother can handle through "talking."

She gets rid of him, she keeps her job. You can let her go when low season comes around.

Heij, the kid is not a bad kid, he is only 16-17 years, naturally he wants to stay in a house with tv, internet and everything else.

I have no doubts asking him to leave would not be an issue sort of speak, its just asking in a way not to offend.

The reason why i am somewhat hesitant as well is because even now that i am back, she continues to help out with the animals.

Some have read i have brought 2 more dogs from Australia(they belonged to my mother) so its somewhat hard to look after 5 when going for walks.

Do note, i did not ask her to help or say anything, she is doing it on her own accord and says she likes go for walks with my dogs twice per day.

So i really do not feel she has a bad streak in her or she intentionally caused the damage.

Her kids, in my opinion simply were not taught house manners. Day after i raised the issue of toothpaste, son stopped using mine, though still no admission of guilt.

Would receiving at least a "sorry" make me feel better? may be

I may well be over reacting and it may well be Thai way or some Thai way.

Ah, now we have more facts to work with. Changes most everything.

Now it sounds like they want to play family.

The messy house might be the least of your problems.

May be, but maid has a boyfriend who also stayed in the house.

I actually believe she(maid) genuinely is trying to help, but in her own way.

Thai way of sharing everything is not acceptable by me and may be its something i need to explain

[lemoncake]

I don't know why the OP is asking for advice, he's not listening to anything.

With all due respect, bu if you feel this way, why bother to post?

I have accepted many thing some people have said, which were truly useful and also let me see another point of view, which i did not even consider.

And then there is the conspiracy theory's and of course just trolling.

[Thailand2012]

Sorry to say, but BJ has not got a clue at all what so ever.

In what company in the world does a maid know about company tax and other situation?

Did i come on to say i am worried about consequences if i fire her? NO, I said i want to keep her and find a way to deal with a situation.

She doesn't have to know the in's and out's of your business if she has an understanding in thai law in the work place and your'e not above board yes she can cause problems for you.As far as i can see everyone here is trying to give you advice,i'm simply trying to help you out as well.

Allthough if you would be so kind and give us the full circumstances maybe our advice may be a bit more informative.

If she has an understanding of Thai law, she would no be working as a maid all her life

Mate sorry that's a silly comment i'm no lawyer but i fully know and understand my rights and the laws in place in my workplace,i know when an employer is legit in his dealings or not,as she might as well understand the laws of thailand in her place of work,

And you have stated she has been a maid all her life so i'm assuming many employers,So i could also assume that she has a fair idea about the industry yes???

[lemoncake]

Sorry to say, but BJ has not got a clue at all what so ever.

In what company in the world does a maid know about company tax and other situation?

Did i come on to say i am worried about consequences if i fire her? NO, I said i want to keep her and find a way to deal with a situation.

She doesn't have to know the in's and out's of your business if she has an understanding in thai law in the work place and your'e not above board yes she can cause problems for you.As far as i can see everyone here is trying to give you advice,i'm simply trying to help you out as well.

Allthough if you would be so kind and give us the full circumstances maybe our advice may be a bit more informative.

If she has an understanding of Thai law, she would no be working as a maid all her life

Mate sorry that's a silly comment i'm no lawyer but i fully know and understand my rights and the laws in place in my workplace,i know when an employer is legit in his dealings or not,as she might as well understand the laws of thailand in her place of work,

And you have stated she has been a maid all her life so i'm assuming many employers,So i could also assume that she has a fair idea about the industry yes???

Mate, i seriously do not see a point in discussing something that is totally irrelevant.

Once you work locally or work with the locals, you would understand how things are.

Maids can hardly read or write, let alone understand what "law" means

[mrtoad]

I don't know why the OP is asking for advice, he's not listening to anything.

With all due respect, bu if you feel this way, why bother to post?

I have accepted many thing some people have said, which were truly useful and also let me see another point of view, which i did not even consider.

And then there is the conspiracy theory's and of course just trolling.

Get a spine, you are getting taken for a ride by your staff.

[AYJAYDEE]

Sorry to say, but BJ has not got a clue at all what so ever.

In what company in the world does a maid know about company tax and other situation?

Did i come on to say i am worried about consequences if i fire her? NO, I said i want to keep her and find a way to deal with a situation.

She doesn't have to know the in's and out's of your business if she has an understanding in thai law in the work place and your'e not above board yes she can cause problems for you.As far as i can see everyone here is trying to give you advice,i'm simply trying to help you out as well.

Allthough if you would be so kind and give us the full circumstances maybe our advice may be a bit more informative.

If she has an understanding of Thai law, she would no be working as a maid all her life

Mate sorry that's a silly comment i'm no lawyer but i fully know and understand my rights and the laws in place in my workplace,i know when an employer is legit in his dealings or not,as she might as well understand the laws of thailand in her place of work,

And you have stated she has been a maid all her life so i'm assuming many employers,So i could also assume that she has a fair idea about the industry yes???

Mate, i seriously do not see a point in discussing something that is totally irrelevant.

Once you work locally or work with the locals, you would understand how things are.

Maids can hardly read or write, let alone understand what "law" means

hardly read or write? nonsense

[Time Traveller]

I see your point, just can not afford to loose her as a staff- that is my biggest problem.

Relying on one person, that sounds like a foolish way to run a business. But it's your home and your business so if you're happy to do nothing then that's your decision.

But most people would advise you to tell her and her family to fix everything immediately, move out and pay for any repairs or "missing" items. Then you can move back into to you home and enjoy. In the meantime you could get some fire insurance in case a fire happened to occur one night when these unwelcome guests were sleeping. Accidents of course do happen.

Edited November 17, 2013 by Time Traveller

[lemoncake]

I see your point, just can not afford to loose her as a staff- that is my biggest problem.

Relying on one person, that sounds like a foolish way to run a business. But it's your home and your business so if you're happy to do nothing then that's your decision.

But most people would advise you to tell her and her family to fix everything immediately, move out and pay for any repairs or "missing" items. Then you can move back into to you home and enjoy. In the meantime you could of course get some fire insurance in case a fire happened to occur one night when these unwelcome guests were sleeping. Accidents of course do happen.

Jesus Christ, some people really need bodyguards from their own shadows.

Yes mate relying on one person when it comes to maids,

If she is gone, i will have the extra headache which i do not need at the moment, it is as simple as that.

If it was not for her, i would have missed my mothers death, Is it so hard for some people to comprehend.?

[lemoncake]

hardly read or write? nonsense

Of course it is, usually master degree holders work as cleaners, especially in Thailand

[FiftyTwo]

hardly read or write? nonsense

Of course it is, usually master degree holders work as cleaners, especially in Thailand:rolleyes:

I know a Thai lady currently half way through her second degree, she was working on a stall selling KhomLoys at MaeJo last night.

As for maids and cleaners, I don't expect Burmese to read or write Thai (quite often they don't speak it either).

Edited November 17, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[HeijoshinCool]

Condolences on your mom.

[Thailand2012]

hardly read or write? nonsense

Of course it is, usually master degree holders work as cleaners, especially in Thailand

Ok now im confused on 1 hand she's a highly valued iraplacable and highly experienced employee who can get away with shitting all over you,and on the other hand she is an ileterate stupid farm girl??? she must be seriously very good looking and very good at after hour activities.

You openly asked for advice have you done anything today to rectify the problem?? Or have you just sat behind a keyboard all day hoping the problem will fade away thai style.

Sorry mate good luck please let us know how it all pans out ok.

[HeijoshinCool]

If members have learned nothing else from this post, know that telling (succinctly) all the pertinent facts in the OP will save us all a lot of time and fingertip energy.

Okay, so now she has a boyfriend, who also stayed in your house.

Really, Lemoncake, your time today would have been better spent looking for her replacement. Where you are, there must be somebody decent.

[mrtoad]

If members have learned nothing else from this post, know that telling (succinctly) all the pertinent facts in the OP will save us all a lot of time and fingertip energy.

Okay, so now she has a boyfriend, who also stayed in your house.

Really, Lemoncake, your time today would have been better spent looking for her replacement. Where you are, there must be somebody decent.

Some people are beyond help.

[Time Traveller]

I see your point, just can not afford to loose her as a staff- that is my biggest problem.

Relying on one person, that sounds like a foolish way to run a business. But it's your home and your business so if you're happy to do nothing then that's your decision.

But most people would advise you to tell her and her family to fix everything immediately, move out and pay for any repairs or "missing" items. Then you can move back into to you home and enjoy. In the meantime you could of course get some fire insurance in case a fire happened to occur one night when these unwelcome guests were sleeping. Accidents of course do happen.

Jesus Christ, some people really need bodyguards from their own shadows.

Yes mate relying on one person when it comes to maids,

If she is gone, i will have the extra headache which i do not need at the moment, it is as simple as that.

If it was not for her, i would have missed my mothers death, Is it so hard for some people to comprehend.?

Well completely disregard the advice if you want, but the facts as you described in your posts are:

Your house is a complete mess and with things broken and missing. This person you "can not afford to lose" was responsible for the care of your home and belongings when this happened. And now she is lying by "denying everything".

figure it out for yourself what you want to do. You won't find it on this forum

[wooloomooloo]

Show 'he's not a bad lad, really' this photo that you took last night and that the ghost attacked you. Punch yourself in the eye for added effect.

He'll be out like a shot.

[wooloomooloo]

As for the maid, she looks like she's doing a great job.

Edited November 17, 2013 by wooloomooloo

[donniereadit]

The problem may be grey area between a personal favor, or part of official duties where she was paid.

If the maid is doing favors and she seems sincere, then she should get a favor in return.

The son moves into a guesthouse room and is to pay rent there and then treated the same as any other tenant.

She is to clean up the house to the way it was, or her best effort.

The missing items, I would let it go, consider it a tenant acquisition expense if he pays the initial deposit and monthly rent.

The son moves first, if it goes ok, then the house is cleaned.

If the son won't leave all bets are off. Set a date and stick to it, hard arse.

If the son does not move the maid is released and locks are changed and your take whatever legal ramifications are coming.

He may be bitter and hang around or have access after getting booted through the mother so it's better to cut both ties.

i.e. - I hope your not banging the maid, or masturbating about this too much. This will cause a lot of problems, especially if she were to get pregnant and try to attach assets for child support.

[lopburi3]

One post removed for offensive language.

[somchaismith]

Things could have been a lot worse. Move on with your life, chalk it up to experience and next time, don't use her housesitting services.

[crumpled]

Buy some of that gel (forget the name - but it is the one used for anal sex). 7/11 sell it? Hand it to the son and say something like, "I'll see you later, sweetie, after your shower." A big wink and seductive smile might help too.

He will be out the door like a bullet from a gun.

[nidieunimaitre]

What do you pay for my time and consultancy fee?

I have the exact answer that you're looking for regarding your staff member, but in line with what you posted (above) on another thread when somebody sought advice on hotels etc., I thought it appropriate that you pay for my advice.

How much are you offering.

Thank you MM, for sending some karma/

[lemoncake]

hardly read or write? nonsense

Of course it is, usually master degree holders work as cleaners, especially in Thailand:rolleyes:

I know a Thai lady currently half way through her second degree, she was working on a stall selling KhomLoys at MaeJo last night.

As for maids and cleaners, I don't expect Burmese to read or write Thai (quite often they don't speak it either).

I worked paper run boy when i was 15 year old, it does not mean i stayed paperboy after i finished school and uni.

Why do not you come back in few years and see if the lady you know after ding 2 degrees turned into maid as a life time job.

Now do enlighten me, how on earth being Burmese is related in anything in this post what so ever?

[lemoncake]

hardly read or write? nonsense

Of course it is, usually master degree holders work as cleaners, especially in Thailand

Ok now im confused on 1 hand she's a highly valued iraplacable and highly experienced employee who can get away with shitting all over you,and on the other hand she is an ileterate stupid farm girl??? she must be seriously very good looking and very good at after hour activities.

You openly asked for advice have you done anything today to rectify the problem?? Or have you just sat behind a keyboard all day hoping the problem will fade away thai style.

Sorry mate good luck please let us know how it all pans out ok.

It is clear you are confused.

What does being educated have to do with being a good and reliable worker? cleaner in this instance

I have made a decision NOT to loose her, and asked her boyfriend to come fix all the damage( i had to buy things) which kind of saved them both some face(irrespective of being wrong).

I had also asked in a confirming question(sort of speak) if the kid was going home tonight and the answer was, he is. and he has gone.

Naturally i have learned my lesson, however AGAIN, if it was not for her help in the first place, i would not have been able to look after my mother or be at her side when she passed.

Yes it may have something to do with respect, but it may also have something to do with Thai way of life.

I still kept the staff i needed for my business and still kept someone willing to come twice per day to help me with walking the dogs(on her own time without pay)

Just because she knows and sees how hard it is to walk 5 large dogs, especially when 2 are new arrivals and still settling in.

I honestly do not believe someone who does not respect me, would waste their time and sleep to help me

Naturally, i do not socialize with Thai elite or married to a daughter of a general,unlike many experts who are, so i would not know how "real Thai" behave

Thanks to all those who contributed and addressed the actual OP, instead of analyzing or criticizing or attempting to insult.