Opinion and advice please on somewhat difficult "relationship" with Thai

[lemoncake]

If members have learned nothing else from this post, know that telling (succinctly) all the pertinent facts in the OP will save us all a lot of time and fingertip energy.

Okay, so now she has a boyfriend, who also stayed in your house.

Really, Lemoncake, your time today would have been better spent looking for her replacement. Where you are, there must be somebody decent.

,

I did say she had the boyfriend in the beginning and i did say the family stayed.

I do not know how many of them, i do not know how often, nor do i know how long for, nor which one of them

I was not there to see

[wooloomooloo]

I still kept the staff i needed for my business and still kept someone willing to come twice per day to help me with walking the dogs(on her own time without pay)

Apologies, but I'm more confused. I thought the maid was looking after the menagerie.

[lemoncake]

Condolences on your mom.

Thank you

[lemoncake]

I still kept the staff i needed for my business and still kept someone willing to come twice per day to help me with walking the dogs(on her own time without pay)

Apologies, but I'm more confused. I thought the maid was looking after the menagerie.

Try thinking with the head above the waist line, not below

[wooloomooloo]

Lemon, this story has more holes in it than my undercrackers.

So the maid wasn't looking after the flee-ridden vermin, but looking after the business?

There appears to be some rather large contradictions, wouldn't you say?

[lemoncake]

Lemon, this story has more holes in it than my undercrackers.

So the maid wasn't looking after the flee-ridden vermin, but looking after the business?

There appears to be some rather large contradictions, wouldn't you say?

Still wrong head doing the thinking

[zydeco]

Thai way?

Thai or not, anyone who refuses to leave your house, purportedly because of a fear of ghosts , is not someone even one's own mother can handle through "talking."

She gets rid of him, she keeps her job. You can let her go when low season comes around.

Heij, the kid is not a bad kid, he is only 16-17 years, naturally he wants to stay in a house with tv, internet and everything else.

I have no doubts asking him to leave would not be an issue sort of speak, its just asking in a way not to offend.

The reason why i am somewhat hesitant as well is because even now that i am back, she continues to help out with the animals.

Some have read i have brought 2 more dogs from Australia(they belonged to my mother) so its somewhat hard to look after 5 when going for walks.

Do note, i did not ask her to help or say anything, she is doing it on her own accord and says she likes go for walks with my dogs twice per day.

So i really do not feel she has a bad streak in her or she intentionally caused the damage.

Her kids, in my opinion simply were not taught house manners. Day after i raised the issue of toothpaste, son stopped using mine, though still no admission of guilt.

Would receiving at least a "sorry" make me feel better? may be

I may well be over reacting and it may well be Thai way or some Thai way.

Only one way to deal with this, now. Make her your live-in maid and the son your gardener/driver/gofer/dog walker/etc.

[wooloomooloo]

You can see why the forum is sceptical, can't you?

The maid was initially invited to look after the goats, then she was there to look after the business. 200 posts in and she wasn't there to look after the goats at all and someone else visited twice a day, at their own expense, to walk Fido and friends.

Early on it looked like maybe two or three relatives had invited themselves to stay then 250 posts later, it appears that the local township had descended on Fawlty Towers.

Stone the bleeding crows.

[wooloomooloo]

Instead of spouting nonsense, Lemon, focus your thoughts on a short digest of the main points to entertain us rather than continuous additions to the already convoluted story.

Have a read back and see how this most elaborate of story's appears to the audience.

It's frankly getting ridiculous.

[lemoncake]

Instead of spouting nonsense, Lemon, focus your thoughts on a short digest of the main points to entertain us rather than continuous additions to the already convoluted story.

Have a read back and see how this most elaborate of story's appears to the audience.

It's frankly getting ridiculous.

I could be crazy, but is someone holding a gun to your head? forcing you to read or reply?

Is there not enough other threads for you which are not ridiculous ?

Possibly if the head above the waist did the thinking(again) it would be pretty clear, Do not your head above the waist think so?

[wooloomooloo]

From the OP:

Now that I am back, her son for some reason has not moved out nor is even considering to go, because apearantly he is scared if ghosts in the house where he lives.

It's all working out amazingly well in such a short space:

I had also asked in a confirming question(sort of speak) if the kid was going home tonight and the answer was, he is. and he has gone.

[Showbags]

As we have to take this OP serious, here we go.

Mixing business with personal. Well intended. Bad result. Look for another staffmember in secret. Find 1, dump the girl. She proved to have no respect for you. NO RESPECT !! Or she must mean more to you than just a staffmember. Oh yeah when you kick her out, after finding a replacement, withhold her salary as part of the damages paid

Get the prig out of the house. He is the ghost !

Well being dependant on the selfish and ignorant, running a business, thats your choice.

Good luck !

Point well taken, good maids for hotel are hard to find , especially in the high season - hence the dilemma at the present time.

And like I said, for years she has been nothing but great at work...... Including helping with catching staff who steal, overtime , no days off etc

Surely you could clean 3 rooms yourself and not be so inconvenienced if she goes.

[timtscott]

OP so the son has moved out? What about the ghosts issue? The least you can do is lease him a house that's not haunted. After all, he did look after your place while you were away.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[lemoncake]

From the OP:

Now that I am back, her son for some reason has not moved out nor is even considering to go, because apearantly he is scared if ghosts in the house where he lives.

It's all working out amazingly well in such a short space:

I had also asked in a confirming question(sort of speak) if the kid was going home tonight and the answer was, he is. and he has gone.

Well it is pretty clear now, you are somewhat disabled.

First post was made 24 hours ago, second just an hour or so.

Please quite while you ahead

[lemoncake]

As we have to take this OP serious, here we go.

Mixing business with personal. Well intended. Bad result. Look for another staffmember in secret. Find 1, dump the girl. She proved to have no respect for you. NO RESPECT !! Or she must mean more to you than just a staffmember. Oh yeah when you kick her out, after finding a replacement, withhold her salary as part of the damages paid

Get the prig out of the house. He is the ghost !

Well being dependant on the selfish and ignorant, running a business, thats your choice.

Good luck !

Point well taken, good maids for hotel are hard to find , especially in the high season - hence the dilemma at the present time.

And like I said, for years she has been nothing but great at work...... Including helping with catching staff who steal, overtime , no days off etc

Surely you could clean 3 rooms yourself and not be so inconvenienced if she goes.

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

Edited November 17, 2013 by lemoncake

[wooloomooloo]

Surely you could clean 3 rooms yourself and not be so inconvenienced if she goes.

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

So you have a three bedroom, one-star, guesthouse. How many staff do you need?

Edited November 17, 2013 by wooloomooloo

[lemoncake]

Surely you could clean 3 rooms yourself and not be so inconvenienced if she goes.

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

So you have a three bedroom, one-star, guesthouse. How many staff do you need?

Little more than you could count, but that is for another topic "how to troll shamelessly"

[iancnx]

This has to be the troll of the decade. Well done Lemon!

[kikoman]

No I have not read all the posts, but I have a clear idea who is at fault here and it is you, there is more to your relationship with your employee that you are not sharing.

How can she be a "trusted" employee when she let her family trash your house, she obviously could not be trusted with your property and her family living in your home. Yet you are ready to absolve her of any wrong doing, and as a housekeeper that no other Thai could replace her. You are not being truthful in your request for help.

Forget about the damage, get the son out of your house, let someone else "walk your dogs" and get rid of her as an employee.

It would also help as one posters advised to you in the first couple of post to "grow a spine".

Good Luck with your problem, as your way of dealing with the issue will come back to bite you on the butt!

?????

[Bender]

When you try to get the son to move he will attack you he thinks you are his mothers lover plain and sample

Sell the business and get out of the country you are going end up dead.if you stay

Maybe sell nothing and just leave

You are very rich it is only money you have only one life

Stop being a cheap Carlie

yes but what he gonna do with his animals, i dont think he can bring them with him.

Maybe the OP can offer some money to the 16 yo kid, if he accept to leave and never come back.

I think for, at least, 50 Kbaht, he might go. And if its not enought offer him your old motorbike.

If he refused, well, you have a new roomate, just look at the bright side.

[Bender]

Surely you could clean 3 rooms yourself and not be so inconvenienced if she goes.

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

So you have a three bedroom, one-star, guesthouse. How many staff do you need?

woolooloomoomoo you are a bore!

you are completely useless to this thread!

[thailandbeachisland]

So many animals, is it to eat ? :-)

[Mighty Mouse]

Little more than you could count, but that is for another topic "how to troll shamelessly"

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

"An internet troll is someone who stirs up drama and abuses their online anonymity by purposely sowing hatred, bigotry, racism, mysogyny, or just simple bickering between others. Trolls like a big audience, so they frequent blog sites, news sites, discussion forums, and game chat. Trolls thrive in any environment where they are allowed to make public comments."

Source: http://netforbeginners.about.com/od/weirdwebculture/f/what-is-an-internet-troll.htm

'Trolls like a big audience"...............hmmmmmmmmmmm.........................

This whole drama queen thread is a troll issue, from this forums star troll. Mr Troll himself having an absolute ball insulting and ridiculing others, and accusing various posters of trolling.

Don't feed the troll.

[Showbags]

I think the son does not wish to move out because he likes his new Dad.

Rule #1 in a guesthouse of any size, even the tiny hard to run ones of just a room or 2...do not bang the help.

[mrtoad]

The OP is a disaster waiting to happen.

[transam]

Is the bird an on site ''masseur'' ?........................

[lemoncake]

Little more than you could count, but that is for another topic "how to troll shamelessly"

Surely yo are capable of understanding you are trolling

"An internet troll is someone who stirs up drama and abuses their online anonymity by purposely sowing hatred, bigotry, racism, mysogyny, or just simple bickering between others. Trolls like a big audience, so they frequent blog sites, news sites, discussion forums, and game chat. Trolls thrive in any environment where they are allowed to make public comments."

Source: http://netforbeginners.about.com/od/weirdwebculture/f/what-is-an-internet-troll.htm

'Trolls like a big audience"...............hmmmmmmmmmmm.........................

This whole drama queen thread is a troll issue, from this forums star troll. Mr Troll himself having an absolute ball insulting and ridiculing others, and accusing various posters of trolling.

Don't feed the troll.

Well thank you for your expert opinion, i guess putting your money where your mouth is , proving to be little too much for you, huh?

My offer for your "consultancy" still stands, but i guess it easier to be an internet warrior, internet expert and a troll than the actual real life.

Carry on, regardless,

[lemoncake]

I think the son does not wish to move out because he likes his new Dad.

Rule #1 in a guesthouse of any size, even the tiny hard to run ones of just a room or 2...do not bang the help.

and how did you arrive an conclusion that i did or was planning to?

[asdecas]

OP - you should consider marriage and surrogate fatherhood. In just a few years things will have tidied themselves up nicely: you will be divorced, the son will be a drug-addled delinquent and you will no longer have either a house or a business.

[Suradit69]

no i'm not. but i refuse to have any kind of relationship with someone who has no respect for me or mine.

I see your point, just can not afford to loose her as a staff- that is my biggest problem.

I also think she she is not aware of the damages " the family" caused and now that I made her aware, she seems to be doing the Thai thing, which is " hoping it will just go away and pass"

Can not really blame her as she is uncomfortable with each "finding" but being uncomfortable is simply not good enough in my opinion

I told her to have her bf come tomorrow to fix broken doors and toilets but ......... I feel need to have a serious talk

" she seems to be doing the Thai thing, which is " hoping it will just go away and pass"'

Which is pretty much what you're doing. The brother knows he should leave and he knows what he did, but they/he obviously assume you're too much of an soft touch to do anything about it. And every day it goes on just reinforces that.

Tell him goodbye. Change the locks. Start cleaning up and resurrecting your life. I hope the animals survived this. I can't imagine turning my home over to anyone, Thai or farang. Even when I wasn't living here full-time, I would never have rented my condo out while I was out of the country. Even when friends from the US or UK hinted they would like to visit Thailand and wouldn't it be nice to use my condo while they were here, I just ignored the hints. It's just not worth it.

Anyway, at this point, lesson learned. Put an end to the occupation by the brother and put things back together as best you can. Dragging it all out and announcing new discoveries to your employee every few days is serving no purpose now. She knows what a mess has been created. He knows he needs to go.

It's hard to believe this woman is such a paragon at work, but if you do not want to lose her, then wrap this mess up and move on. There's nothing to be gained by prolonging the situation and the more you do to make her uncomfortable is just undermining this fabulous working relationship you think exists.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Suradit69