Assault, harrasment to daughter

[Gandtee]

My first reaction would be to do what most dads think they would do in these circumstances. The better option is to contact the Paveena Hongsakula w omens' protection organisation.( I expect you can Google it) I feel sure that they would help, maybe by talking to the boys parents and also getting the police to take some action. These besotted youngsters can do over the top, stupid things. Your daughter must be looking over her shoulder and on edge constantly.

[Irishrogue]

I was advised that my daughter was physically threatened whilst in the 8th month of her pregnancy by her Father in Law. I was and still am working in Thailand but I went back home and waited until the night before returning to Thailand and went to this wimp's house and typically he hid. I returned home and waited for the Police to arrive as this man was also "connected" a business owner like myself I had already taken care of his son and the other guy he brought to support him a supposed martial arts expert.

The Police duly arrived and I explained to the office what had happened. He cautioned me and then removed his hat and said" As a Father I would do the same, it is fortunate that you are returning to Thailand tomorrow. I took his advice stopped off at the shop on my way to the airport and punched the piece of shit.

My daughter is now happily married to a good man and she has had no problem from the first husband or his wimpy Father.

I care not where I am if you threaten my children be prepared for comeback.

[Docno]

Why don't you confront his parents? Where is your wife on all of this? It seems like farang in Thailand come in two forms: crazy, ready for violence over anything and timid little mice ready to pack up and rearrange their lives at a moments notice.

I think the solution, if there is one, lies in this approach, but I wouldn't use the word "confront". I think it best that you try to have a non-confrontational dialogue with the parents... try to get them to put themselves in your shoes (even better if they have a daughter you can 'bring in to the scenario') and avoid your understandable inclination to bad-mouth their son. You want to get them to collaborate on a solution with you while not threatening them and avoiding putting them into a defensive posture ... not easy since this is their son. But you might be able to pin your hopes on 1) they may be reasonable people, 2) they may know their son is prone to being a trouble-maker, 3) they may want to avoid further 'fines' or deeper trouble for their son, 4) they may empathize with your situation as a concerned father. Good luck.

[Toscano]

As I read , one of the problems here is an unwillingness of confrontation .

We foreigners from western cultures face up to bad situations and take direct action to protect family and loved ones .

Unfortunately father may not be fluent in Thai Language . The boy's Thai family might not take criticism of their son from a Falang .

Mother's attitude is not to complain , find a way round the situation because confrontation is taboo in Thailand .

My advice would be to speak to the Principal of the university and to take your daughter out for a semester , or to send her to another university far

enough away . Maha Sarakham and Khon Kaen have popular universities .

[MILT]

OP: The URL belows outlines the RTP Department for Violence Against Women (VAW) and also states that temporary protective orders are available. The legislation is The Protection of Domestic Violence Victims Act B.E. 2550 (2007) that states in part "police have to investigate the complaint immediately and the public prosecutor has to file the case before the court within 48 hrs"

http://www.mfa.go.th/humanrights/implementation-of-un-resolutions/68-thailands-policies-and-initiatives-on-prevention-of-violence-against-women-

If I were you I would track down the Department for advise and support, as you know local police are generally a waste of space.

So much for the lawyer's advice. With all the griping there are some very good knowledgeable "keyboard warriors" here.

Going this route will stop the tit for tat that most of the aggressive (violent) solutions mentioned by (Dads) here on TV would create.

If I understand you which I do as a Dad you want this to stop end of story. Using the services mentioned which by all accounts

your daughter is qualified to receive would hopefully create a different mind set in her x-boyfriends mind. Good Luck and hope the best for your daughter!

[marioc]

Hire a body guard at least on a temporary basis while she is away from home. If at home, Thai criminal Trespass offense may have occurred as per 'dwelling'

+1

[liddelljohn]

i understand this issue only too well ,my daughter moves in some Hiso circles , she has 2 advantages she is blackbelt 2nd dan and has humiliated several thai boys who tried to abuse her or her female friends also my thai wife although from Issan has very strong ways of making other thais Loose face using ,1st using social and temple connections,2nd buying police or military help to enforce a solution , a final option is bringing me in as a farang who is the family patriarch but potentially a little TING TONG no one wants that but after 19 years here I have learned that Thais dont like what they dont understand .

,The main thing is that the boys father has to be put in the loop , he must must initially not loose face but it must me made very clear that as family patriarch he will be the one who looses face if he cannot bring his son under control ,and he will also be helping his son by making him a decent person ,, the son has to be humiliated by his own family as well as outsiders for the boy to see sense .....

, Its not easy but your daughter needs protection from this pathetic gik.

[OZEMADE]

Daughter attending university outskirts of Bangkok. She broke up with boyfriend 7 months ago, after he slapped her around a bit. No police report made

Your first mistake, not reporting it to the Police.

Boy broke into her apt. at school and trashed it, police report made and his father paid compensation.

Police report made, his father already lost face when he paid compensation, and no doubt he would have spoken to his son.

Boy intercepted daughter on way to class, knocked her books to ground, spit on her, witnesses called police, same station where report made on apartment incident. The said they could/would do nothing as per daughter.

You have witnesses to the incident. Police obviously attended and stated to witnesses they could do nothing. Have these witnesses make statements to what happened and the outcome.

She went to visit a friend this weekend in Bangkok, boy went to where she was staying, got admitted to house, and became agressive, left when the girk friend got on phone to call police, different police station.

Another witness to the situation, Police were rang and would have, or may have an incident report. Get another witness or witness’s reports and follow up on the Police report.

Daughter said another police report would accomplish nothing, as the boy is from wealthy family, etc.

Rubbish, the father of this boy already lost face and would not stand for his son doing the same again. The more Police reports and witness statements the better.

I was told by Siam legal service that Thailand does not have a legal instrument similar to a 'restraining order'

Well that’s Bulls**t as another TV member has already pointed out to you.

I am open to suggestions as 'Dads" first impluse is probably not the accepted way.

You are the Problem. You are the father of this girl; the onus is on you as her protector to do all you can to protect her. Going on what you have told the TVF members here you have done nothing for the last 7 months. Get off your arse and sort it. Too late, when she is killed/murdered, because she is seen out with another nice guy. Your daughter is currently petrified of this man and spoken to you about her trauma. Sort it mate, before it is too late.

[BirdsandBooze]

Become good friends with your local motorcycle taxi rank. They will re-educate the ex boyfriend for a small gratuity.

[salapau]

You have sought advice from a Law Firm, they have told you there is nothing you can do. What are you expecting from this thread, sage advice from keyboard warriors who would advise you to kick his ass ?

Just do the same as everyone else here would, nothing, he will get bored of it and find someone else, life goes on.

How thoughtless your reply is, hugely selfish, are you an " Ostrich ? " Do nothing is why these stupid arrogant Thai's that think they have lost face, get away with this type of agressive harassment. If you have children I feel sorry for them. .

[Brevity]

You have sought advice from a Law Firm, they have told you there is nothing you can do. What are you expecting from this thread, sage advice from keyboard warriors who would advise you to kick his ass ?

Just do the same as everyone else here would, nothing, he will get bored of it and find someone else, life goes on.

I think the man is worried that the actions will get violent. I have read about Thai men who kill the girl in situations like this. So with all respect, I don't agree with your advice or attitude not to do anything. I have also read that the police will do anything for money so I would offer money to the police to go and talk to the boy and his parents. Maybe that will scare them into stopping.

[JLCrab]

Read Post #46 -- The daughter has moved out of her apartment and is an 'undisclosed safe location', will be withdrawing from school this week, and will be returning to CNX shortly. Unfortunate that this kid has to upset her life this way.

[thailandbeachisland]

Find 2 friends and wear Anonymous mask...

Sometimes only the hard way works.

[scorecard]

simple 1, thank you for the suggestion and more importantly the refernce to relivant department, etc. Will proceed from that angle, if/when needed

The daughter will in all likelyhood, drop out of university, come home, post haste, as the boy seems like a ticking time bomb, destined to someday self destruct. This type can not be reasoned with nor can their family.

At least she will be home, and if the boy attempts to play games up here (his family vacation home), it is at least in familar/friendly territory.

There is also the 'Paveena Hongsakul Foundation for women and children'. Ms Paveena has quite some reputation with dealing with adverse situations involving women and children in Thailand. And she is now the minister in charge of the aligned gov't ministry.

I doubt that she would personally get involved with every situation however contacting either her ministry or her foundation might well bring some good advice.

Like other posters I find it difficult to believe that there is no legal instrument in Thailand to gain some form of restraining order against the boy concerned.

Into the future - there would be little doubt this whole scenario has had some strong impact on your daughter and she will need lots of care and logical discussions / reactions for quite a while. Step by step.

I admire your concern for your daughter. Good luck. Let's hope the boy gets tired of the whole thing sooner rather than later.

Edited November 18, 2013 by scorecard

[Sheryl]

Read Post #46 -- The daughter has moved out of her apartment and is an 'undisclosed safe location', will be withdrawing from school this week, and will be returning to CNX shortly. Unfortunate that this kid has to upset her life this way.

Yes, very unfortunate, but better than losing her life which indeed could otherwise happen.

[flyingdoc]

I agree with most of the comments. Action must stem from the parents. How old is this spoilt guy?

Loss of face is one thing, continuing intimidation is another. As a father of a daughter who suffered 20 years of mental abuse from her partner, I am all too well aware of the risk of the battered victim syndrome! Make sure things don't get that far with your daughter, before it is too late!

[Sudgirl]

Hi sorry to hear of your torment.

I once was in a similar position to you in UK. My husband was very ill and couldn't help.

My daughter had a boyfriend who was essentially no good and almost every week her flat was broken into to the point the insurance co were threatening to cancel her policy.

Long long story but a relative arranged for a "tough " guy who was well known to visit this boyfriend in his local pub he had a talk with him and probably scared the life out of him, after this no further problems this so called boyfriend moved to another area, maybe try something similar? I'm so sorry to hear your story and hope it's resolved soon.

[gemguy]

Several ways to handle it..as already stated.

I think talking to the parents is best ...but have a trusted Thai mediator do it with you..such as a respected teacher or some one who is respected by everyone.

But realise that most kids seldom listen to parents anyhow

A police officer maybe, one that you may have to pay a little money to and have a serious talk to with the parents and the boy at the same time...sort of like an intervention where he is asked to come to meet with the parents and then confronted by several people telling him things are going to change.

You could also make it known that you could or would go to the news paper(s) and make a public story of his conduct and then create a big loss of face for the parents and family members because of the sons conduct.

The girl should always try to be with her friends and some male friends also while having already pre arranged for them to block the boy and stand up for her.

She could also carry some mace spray as that would surely suprise him when sprayed at him.

Maybe a personal tazer used in self defence would make the boy think twice about stalking her again

It would be a clear case of self defence with her friends as witnesses while they all take videos of him with their cell phone cameras and tell him he will be on you tube as the stalker of the month.

Other than that if she is really worried the problem will escalate then remove her altogether and send her up country or to somewhere the boy can not find her and he most likely will lose interest in her...but how much time is needed is the big question.

You could also have the police and a lawyer draw up some legal paper work and give it to the boy telling him he is borderline stalking the girl and or harasment and could be arrested for his conduct.

They may not have stalking laws per say or restaining orders per say but some official looking police documents presented to the boy may make him wake up to his creepy conduct.

Something has to work to stop the boys dangerous conduct.

[Sayonarax]

You don't need our permission to take him for blanket party. If the police sit idly by, what is one to do?

Godspeed Sir

[Theoutsider]

Jungle justice?

[Traveler19491]

My friend, all I can tell you is what I would do, were it my daughter...I would follow the little twerp, I would get his routine down, and then I would pick the time and place where there is the least likely possibility of there being any witnesses, and I would corner his ass, baseball bat in hand, preferably with a couple of large friends in tow, and I would simply inform him that the next time he comes within a mile of my daughter, he will simply disappear, and that I would have a dozen witnesses to swear that I was with them for any time in question. People like this do not respond to reason. They firmly believe that they are above the law, and that their actions will have no consequences. You are on your own. The authorities will do little, if anything. So convincing him that it is not in his best interest to continue to harrass your daughter is up to you.

[tingtongteesood]

I would kick the runts ass and pay the thousand baht fine and say sorry with my fingers crossed behind my back....

[Emdog]

The 'social contract" where we cede revenge and justice to the state does not exist here, so back to jungle law. If you go the extralegal route, hire some group of young guys to slap him about and so would seem the option that would get your message across. Along with having them tell him it would be far more severe if they had to meet him again. I believe in treating these guys gently, but first you have to get their attention.....

[maccaroni man]

I have an adult daughter if this happened to her the first thing I would do is go directly to this boy and make him understand that my daughter goes have a pit bull of a father. I would then pay a bib to have a private conversation with the boy. Between the two my bet is he would go away.

[mrjohndub]

Have some discreet thugs put him in his place*. Overpay them. Fkuk the BIB or any other method of reasoning.

*the hospital, and next time the ground. When in Rome...

[JakeSully]

Going to suggest something else: Send the girl overseas for a year (gap year). She forgets about him, He finds another target after he can't find the same one to harass. Then she can attend another university

Talking here does little. Do you really want to take a chance that the parents of the boy will change him and if he really does something violent, nothing will happen. Look at the Red Bull heir story. Police Action does little in a country where money is #1 and generally the laws and culture say men come first and domestic violence is literally part of every relationship at some point until the women submit and their explanation is "domestic violence is men showing their love".

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Edited November 18, 2013 by JakeSully

[phantomfiddler]

Thais are extremely poor losers, as evidenced on every level. This one obviously has the mind of a child and should be dealt with as such. I go with the motorbike crowd, as the imbecile is obviously a coward and will be easily intimidated by a show of force.

[Nemesis7]

It's sad but hey don't go soft on anyone harassing your daughter.

[Cuban]

Grow a pair !

[Joe Mamma]

Stun guns, mace, pepper spray, loud sirens in a can, attack dogs. Try the non lethal route and teach the kids how to fight and defend.