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A couple were going to a fancy dress party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party.

She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

"Where is your costume?" the husband asked.

"This is it," replied his wife.

"What kind of costume is that?" asked the husband.

"Why, I am going as Puss and Boots," explains the wife. "Now hurry and get your costume on."

The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.

"What kind of costume is that?" asked the wife.

"I am a fire alarm," he replied.

"A fire alarm?" she repeated laughing.

"Yes," he replied. "In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I come."

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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction

site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian

guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in

charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of

supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to

make a big dent in that there pile."

So the foreman went away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of

sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella

that he awasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I

nocouldafinda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I told

you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a

shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ahcouldnay

fin' him either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to

look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind

the pile of sand and yells "SUPPLIES"!!

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