dating a shy university girl

[lemoncake]

Ask her.

I have met a lot of ladies who were easy to get into bed after "a couple of dates" - and they were ALL sluts. (in my opinion). I'm not condemning it, but the OP seems to be looking for a different type of girl than he has)

Teenage pregnancy is not really a good thing and by stating that it is getting more common doesn't justify it.

The OP's girlfriend is an adult. Why are you talking about minors?

Do you really not get it?

If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20

Getting into bed after a couple of dates is a "slut" in your book? again, how old are you? and what middle eastern country do you come from?

What about the ones who didn't become sexually active at 13??

I have several university friends who are virgins and in their early twenties.

I am 26 and i come from the UK.

What about them? They are a minority

PS. How exactly do you know they are virgins? Because they said so?

PPS. Since getting into bed with you after a few dates is considered as slut by you, what does it make you? Or your morals do not apply to self?

Edited December 13, 2013 by lemoncake

[elzach]

Shy Thai girl, eh? ok I'm not gonna say that's an oxymoron...let's just say you found something "rare".

Here's food for thought for you OP, if you were a Thai man, how long would it take her? If you don't know what I'm trying to say, then your post is pointless.

[Genericnic]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Sure I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

Your one true friend and saviour is alcohol. Few Baccardi's or Spy's and doors to eden will open

Alcohol - the last refuge for those with no class, no personality, and no charm.

David

[GreenSnapper]

It's not a shy girl we are talking about.

It's a shy man.

[belg]

she might be a DUDE !

[Totster]

A good idea, but neither of us drinks unfortunately.

Weirdos !!

totster

[Misab]

Take it easy. But you could ask her: "Would you mind if I kiss you?"

She might look down and say: "no I don't mind"

If she say she doesn't want to kiss you, then ask her how long you should wait.

[Dellie]

You saw her 12 whole times and you expect to be in her pants already. Despite the ideas many people have about this country, a lot of Thai girls are still quite old fashioned and not that 'easy'. If she is that type then she will not want to do the horizontal mambo with you until she is sure she wants to marry you and you have made very clear that you want to and plan to marry her. Be warned, some Thai girls are for life, not just for Christmas...

I have never met a woman, Thai or otherwise I couldn't get into bed on the first date. Then again I am rich and handsome. Don't know your deal

[cbluck58]

Pathetic drivel.....

[Songhua]

Use your hand until she's ready or go find a twenty year-old slut if that please you.

By the way, i study at university here and quite a few of my Thai female friends are virgins. Is your girlfriend a virgin? It would explain all of this.

Names and numbers?

[Baerboxer]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Sure I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

Your one true friend and saviour is alcohol. Few Baccardi's or Spy's and doors to eden will open

Very clever - do that in Europe and you'll be convicted of rape. Getting her pissed and then taking advantage of - great way to show he really cares for her.

She sounds a nice girl from a nice family. I have good Thai friends who I know waited many months, not a few weeks, Buying chocolates, flowers, perfume and behaving like true gentlemen.

If the OP needs a quick shag there's plenty of choices around, But, it seems he wants a meaningful relationship with a decent nice girl.

To the OP - stay cool, be a gentleman and it will happen and be well worth waiting for !

[Baerboxer]

Shy Thai girl, eh? ok I'm not gonna say that's an oxymoron...let's just say you found something "rare".

Here's food for thought for you OP, if you were a Thai man, how long would it take her? If you don't know what I'm trying to say, then your post is pointless.

What an intelligent educated person you aren't !

Guess what - there is a Thailand outside of bars, go-go's and brothels. Shame you've missed it so far.

[NoshowJones]

 

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Sure I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

Your one true friend and saviour is alcohol. Few Baccardi's or Spy's and doors to eden will open

A good idea, but neither of us drinks unfortunately.

Change that to fortunately.

[FWIW]

<deleted>? I mean really. <deleted>?

Get her drunk, ignore her "no"?? Seriously?

OP: You want a relationship, respect her boundaries. You want a shag, p*ss off down Soi Cowboy.

[NoshowJones]

o.k she,s a 20 year old schoolgirl and i,m guessing your in your 60,s ,

i know there,s not but there should be a law about it just being

WRONG .....

What makes you thing the OP is in his sixties? He does not sound like that to me.

[Baerboxer]

Ask her.

I have met a lot of ladies who were easy to get into bed after "a couple of dates" - and they were ALL sluts. (in my opinion). I'm not condemning it, but the OP seems to be looking for a different type of girl than he has)

Teenage pregnancy is not really a good thing and by stating that it is getting more common doesn't justify it.

The OP's girlfriend is an adult. Why are you talking about minors?

Do you really not get it?

If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20

Getting into bed after a couple of dates is a "slut" in your book? again, how old are you? and what middle eastern country do you come from?

What about the ones who didn't become sexually active at 13??

I have several university friends who are virgins and in their early twenties.

I am 26 and i come from the UK.

What about them? They are a minority

PS. How exactly do you know they are virgins? Because they said so?

PPS. Since getting into bed with you after a few dates is considered as slut by you, what does it make you? Or your morals do not apply to self?

You know no more than him. But that doesn't stop you asserting all girls are sexually active before marriage, that his friends lie about being virgins etc.

You comment based on your world view of experiences and relationships is different to others. You believe virgins to be in a minority and imply Thai girls become sexually active at 13 - based on what? Your vast experience and research, or yet another bar stool "professor"?

Your view of how Thai ladies behave reveals a very shallow understanding of Thai society, the view that exists among a certain type of expat and tourist.

[terminatorchiangmai]

Take her to a Karaoke place during day time, you will be private there and can try to give her the first kiss.

Good luck.

[willyumiii]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Yes, I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long to be where we are? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed, if you're not escalating things.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

No, not necessary long.

There are some very "good " Thai girls out there.

Some are raised not to be physical unless it is the "one and only."

Those who live for the future, ie. go to university and have hopes for a good life, are very careful, shy and not out for "fun".

I know Thai women who waited for marriage to lose their virginity.

Some of the more cynical guys out there who have never done better than the " pay for play" Thai girls will not believe this and probably ridicule this statement.

I can only feel sorry for them that they have missed out on meeting the other type of Thai girl.

They can be very sweet and refreshing.

First, you must decide how important this girl is to you.

Then talk openly to her, find out what her feelings are about getting physical.

If she's one who can't do it, decide if you can wait, or move on.

Either way, show her the respect she deserves!

Choke dee!

O.K. time for all the crude comments about Thai virgins I guess.

But I am serious about what I have said here!

[Totster]

So shy she chose a farang for her first boyfriend....

totster

[yourauntbob]

Get her back to your place once for a quick trip. Maybe you forgot something there or whatever. Just enough time for her to see your place and get a bit comfortable with it. Then on the next date (or two down the road) offer to watch a movie with her at your place and order food in. say you want to save some cash, or you dont feel like going out or whatever. dont try anything, just watch the dang movie and hold hands a bit. after this she will be comfortable with the idea of your place.

take her back out for a date and then make another appointment at your place. this time go in for a kiss but keep it at that. repeat but each time take it one step further. this is a slow play, but it is how it works with conservate girls here. the first time i tried to hug missus aunt bob she threw up her hands in discust (first date). the first time i brought her to my place she was really nervus even stepping into the place. over time she got comfortable and when she finally did it was well worth the effort.

good luck!

[Songhua]

So shy she chose a farang for her first boyfriend....

totster

Shainess

[Colabamumbai]

Can you imagine a life with this girl or do you want to just get physical? It appears that she is not loose which may be a good thing. If I truly loved a girl I would go with the flow.

As I tell the women, I am not looking for sex, anyone can have sex. I want someone that I can spend my life with. Having a relationship with anyone is a lot harder, more so when there are 2 cultures involved.

Sex should be secondary in any relationship. If it is just based on sex, it will not last. There are girls you date for sex and others you date as possible life partners.

What does this girl offer for you, a conquest?, or someone you could spend your life with.

Have her read your post and the replies to it, share it with her, now that you have shared it with us.

[rotary]

Patience is a virtue. It will be worth the wait I bet. I would have the patience of a Saint in your case.

[celso]

Thanks for all the ideas and occasional insults. Interesting stuff. It sounds like this situation is fairly normal considering she is shy and maybe conservative, so I'll just keep doing what we've been doing and see where it leads us. I'm going home at Christmas anyway, for four weeks.

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't slipping into a friendzone or screwing up somewhere. Don't know if it matters, but the girl is from Kalasan, but moved here to study uni. Also works part time in a mall which is where I met her.

o.k she,s a 20 year old schoolgirl and i,m guessing your in your 60,s ,

i know there,s not but there should be a law about it just being

WRONG .....

I'm 25 fool, fairly sure I mentioned that in the first post if you had read it.

Use your hand until she's ready or go find a twenty year-old slut if that please you.

By the way, i study at university here and quite a few of my Thai female friends are virgins. Is your girlfriend a virgin? It would explain all of this.

I don't know, could be I guess. She had one boyfriend before, when she was 16 in high school.

You sound like a typical guy who wants one thing from relationship. Fortunately there are many girls that want the same thing in Thailand. However there are still many more old fashioned one's that expect to have a solid relationship before getting intimate. Unless you are ready to commit to her then why push the issue.

No that's not my thing, im not some sex hound. But I do disagree with you about intimacy. Having at least some physical side to a relationship is important if it's going to last long.

Also most thai people dont like to engage in PDA in public so dont be shocked about that. Its all about respect.

Yeah I noticed there isn't much. What is ok? Just hand holding? She seems to like that a lot, but if I put an arm around her, freezes up like she's embarrassed. Edited December 13, 2013 by celso

[thrilled]

If she comes from A strict family,you'll have to take it easy.I wouldn't worry about the friend thing.Take your time,make sure she knows your interested.Maybe buy her A ring,not an engagement ring,see how she takes it

[albee]

Six weeks seriously, 3 to 4 dates, and then you have to decide how serious you are.

You want some advice, move on but be polite. You may find when the threat of you leaving

she will cling to you and open up, its a lame strategy, but it will probably work, and if it

doesn't your better off any way, six weeks, and not even a kiss, wow!

[smooth expat]

Possible she's done a 1,000+ men. You aren't the first, buddy.

[elzach]

Shy Thai girl, eh? ok I'm not gonna say that's an oxymoron...let's just say you found something "rare".

Here's food for thought for you OP, if you were a Thai man, how long would it take her? If you don't know what I'm trying to say, then your post is pointless.

What an intelligent educated person you aren't !

Guess what - there is a Thailand outside of bars, go-go's and brothels. Shame you've missed it so far.

And you must be an ultra-educated person to draw quick conclusions.

I didn't say anything about promiscuity or bar girls, I mentioned specifically "shyness". A Thai girl may not be shy at all, that doesn't mean then she's a sex animal or a bar girl.

My point was that there are endless topics here on Thai girls, ignoring all along how Thai men deal with the situations. For example, a Thai girl that is one way with a local man and quite another way with a foreigner, is just plainly "pretending".

[KRaymond]

How old are you? past 40? She could be shy for dating an old guy, especially in the public where she can suddenly come across her friends and have to explain why is she holding hands with big old farang. That's if you really are a big old hairy farang.

[Rimmer]

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