dating a shy university girl

[HerbalEd]

Ask her.

I have met a lot of ladies who were easy to get into bed after "a couple of dates" - and they were ALL sluts. (in my opinion). I'm not condemning it, but the OP seems to be looking for a different type of girl than he has)

Teenage pregnancy is not really a good thing and by stating that it is getting more common doesn't justify it.

The OP's girlfriend is an adult. Why are you talking about minors?

Do you really not get it?

If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20

Getting into bed after a couple of dates is a "slut" in your book? again, how old are you? and what middle eastern country do you come from?

Re. your "If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20": By "they" do you mean "all" Thai girls? And how old are you?

[BlueSkyCowboy]

...but after six weeks it feels a bit lame that we still havent even kissed.

Mate, my now wife screamed when I attempted to give her a peck on the cheek after she dropped me off on her motorbike back to my hotel and we had been seeing each other for months.

There was no hanky panky or kissy kissy until we were married.

Your idea of courting and your girlfriend's idea are worlds apart.

So you are telling us that she was a virgin when u got married.

[HerbalEd]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Yes, I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long to be where we are? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed, if you're not escalating things.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

Get some relief from old mrs.palm and her five lovely daughters....

Really? Masturbating in Thailand is like ordering water during happy hour.

[HerbalEd]

Next time you're in an intimate setting, cup your hand in your armpit and flap your arm down, making a fake farty noise. It's a panty dropper.

Yeah ... if your name is Panty.

Edited December 13, 2013 by HerbalEd

[Hardened Spanker]

I am really surprised how archaic most posters seem to be. OP just move on. You sound like a typical guy who wants one thing from relationship. Fortunately there are many girls that want the same thing in Thailand. However there are still many more old fashioned one's that expect to have a solid relationship before getting intimate. Unless you are ready to commit to her then why push the issue.

I know of many young women here that are really old fashioned and wouldn't even kiss unless they were in love and knew their partner was equally committed. Also many young girls don't want to sacrifice their education and career for a relationship.

She might also be testing you to see how much you are willing to wait to prove that she is worth the effort.

If you do take it to the next level and break up with her, you might ruin it for the next guy who truly does love her.

I wonder if the posters here would make these same comments to guys trying to make it with their daughters?

By old fashioned, do you mean frigid?

You do realize its almost year 2014, do not you? and a very large number have kids by the age of 16 not to mention become sexually active by the age of 13 if not younger.

That's the big irony of modern Thailand. The land of hundreds-of-thousands of prostitutes, millions of young promiscuous girls, and yet still many 20 to 30-plus year-old virgins still living at home.

To the OP: Given what I "assume" about this girl, if you really aren't sure about eventually marrying her I think you should not have sex with her and move on. Wow! Did I just write that?? After many years of seducing many women that is a very unusual thing for me to think and say.

Very often the attraction for a man is the elusive p...y which we fool ourselves into thinking is love. But the feeling fades very quickly right after the initial orgasm.

Many years of seducing many women...

Uh-oh,we got ourselves a keyboard Errol Flynn here guys!

BTW,you don't "seduce" bargirls unfortunately my friend.You just pay them!

[HerbalEd]

I am really surprised how archaic most posters seem to be. OP just move on. You sound like a typical guy who wants one thing from relationship. Fortunately there are many girls that want the same thing in Thailand. However there are still many more old fashioned one's that expect to have a solid relationship before getting intimate. Unless you are ready to commit to her then why push the issue.

I know of many young women here that are really old fashioned and wouldn't even kiss unless they were in love and knew their partner was equally committed. Also many young girls don't want to sacrifice their education and career for a relationship.

She might also be testing you to see how much you are willing to wait to prove that she is worth the effort.

If you do take it to the next level and break up with her, you might ruin it for the next guy who truly does love her.

I wonder if the posters here would make these same comments to guys trying to make it with their daughters?

By old fashioned, do you mean frigid?

You do realize its almost year 2014, do not you? and a very large number have kids by the age of 16 not to mention become sexually active by the age of 13 if not younger.

That's the big irony of modern Thailand. The land of hundreds-of-thousands of prostitutes, millions of young promiscuous girls, and yet still many 20 to 30-plus year-old virgins still living at home.

To the OP: Given what I "assume" about this girl, if you really aren't sure about eventually marrying her I think you should not have sex with her and move on. Wow! Did I just write that?? After many years of seducing many women that is a very unusual thing for me to think and say.

Very often the attraction for a man is the elusive p...y which we fool ourselves into thinking is love. But the feeling fades very quickly right after the initial orgasm.

Many years of seducing many women...

Uh-oh,we got ourselves a keyboard Errol Flynn here guys!

BTW,you don't "seduce" bargirls unfortunately my friend.You just pay them!

And you are so stupid you couldn't get laid in BKK. 555 Don't assume because you can get laid that no body else can't either ... except for Errol Flynn, of course.

[Aussieroaming]

Most of the suggestions here are pretty lame. What I have found is a good ground breaker is simple As here if she has been to the beach or mountains Find out what she would like. Then tell her you would like to take here for a long weekend to the sea or mountains

She will get it and is she says OK you are pretty sure you can move to the next level Make it romantic and she will see you are not a butterfly

A lot of Thai woman hate butterflies and will as another writer wrote hold out to make sure you are genuine.

Kiss her good night She will be shy about it but more comfortable after a while.

Most Thai woman act shy but after you strip away the layers they are gun hoe

I agree, I never got too far until I took my then GF (now wife) overseas to a place neither of us had been before. She felt a whole lot less pressured once she was out of Thailand and on a romantic holiday. It helped that neither of us had been to this particular place and neither of us knew anyone else. The relying on each other aspect helped us both build some trust as well as having a great time seeing new things.

Sure it doesn't have to be a trip out of Thailand but it made a big difference and being away from her fear of Thai perception helped.

[Aussieroaming]

Most of the suggestions here are pretty lame. What I have found is a good ground breaker is simple As here if she has been to the beach or mountains Find out what she would like. Then tell her you would like to take here for a long weekend to the sea or mountains

She will get it and is she says OK you are pretty sure you can move to the next level Make it romantic and she will see you are not a butterfly

A lot of Thai woman hate butterflies and will as another writer wrote hold out to make sure you are genuine.

Kiss her good night She will be shy about it but more comfortable after a while.

Most Thai woman act shy but after you strip away the layers they are gun hoe

I agree, I never got too far until I took my then GF (now wife) overseas to a place neither of us had been before. She felt a whole lot less pressured once she was out of Thailand and on a romantic holiday. It helped that neither of us had been to this particular place and neither of us knew anyone else. The relying on each other aspect helped us both build some trust as well as having a great time seeing new things.

Sure it doesn't have to be a trip out of Thailand but it made a big difference and being away from her fear of Thai perception helped.

[jackr]

Get some relief from old mrs.palm and her five lovely daughters....

Really? Masturbating in Thailand is like ordering water during happy hour.

I dunno, I like a good hard sh*g like the next man, but you can't beat the real thing.

[HerbalEd]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

[bangarang]

I am really surprised how archaic most posters seem to be. OP just move on. You sound like a typical guy who wants one thing from relationship. Fortunately there are many girls that want the same thing in Thailand. However there are still many more old fashioned one's that expect to have a solid relationship before getting intimate. Unless you are ready to commit to her then why push the issue.

I know of many young women here that are really old fashioned and wouldn't even kiss unless they were in love and knew their partner was equally committed. Also many young girls don't want to sacrifice their education and career for a relationship.

She might also be testing you to see how much you are willing to wait to prove that she is worth the effort.

If you do take it to the next level and break up with her, you might ruin it for the next guy who truly does love her.

I wonder if the posters here would make these same comments to guys trying to make it with their daughters?

By old fashioned, do you mean frigid?

You do realize its almost year 2014, do not you? and a very large number have kids by the age of 16 not to mention become sexually active by the age of 13 if not younger.

That's the big irony of modern Thailand. The land of hundreds-of-thousands of prostitutes, millions of young promiscuous girls, and yet still many 20 to 30-plus year-old virgins still living at home.

To the OP: Given what I "assume" about this girl, if you really aren't sure about eventually marrying her I think you should not have sex with her and move on. Wow! Did I just write that?? After many years of seducing many women that is a very unusual thing for me to think and say.

Very often the attraction for a man is the elusive p...y which we fool ourselves into thinking is love. But the feeling fades very quickly right after the initial orgasm.

Many years of seducing many women...

Uh-oh,we got ourselves a keyboard Errol Flynn here guys!

BTW,you don't "seduce" bargirls unfortunately my friend.You just pay them!

My first time in Phuket I seduced a Mamasaan in Phuket and didnt have to pay, even stayed at her place. The one time she stayed at the hotel they charged a Joiner fee an upon checkout I found out that she paid when she left in the morning. LoL... may not be often but seducing a bar girl CAN happen. Although I was 27 and she was 37 at the time, but im overweight and had to rely on my charm.

[bangarang]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

I doubt an old guy would make a post about this topic. I think an old guy would have moved on after a couple weeks of no play.

[DGIE]

some are fake. is she not faking you?

[wileycoyote]

Is this a troll ?

[sometimewoodworker]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

The OP did give his age you just missed his post.

[dcpo]

Hmm. Some pretty rapey guys on the TV forum...

[celso]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

Already answered, I'm 25. Read more carefully.

[Gulfsailor]

A little add on to my previous insightful post; don't worry of things moving into the friendship zone. That doesn't exist in Thailand between boy and girl. It took my gf quite some time to understand I have female friends abroad whom I don't sleep with.

[celso]

Tell her you've got a surprise present for her. Then tell her to shut her eyes. After that, kiss her (on the lips, cheek, or where ever you think is best).

See how she reacts. If she is offended, grossed out, screams etc. then tell her to eff off and find someone else.

Actually this is a good idea ... without the eff off part. Always be the gentleman.

I suggest when she closes her eyes you give her a gentle, short Thai sniff kiss on the cheek ... and leave it at that. If, indeed, she does freak out then be politely and respectfully honest and say you really want to be with her but she has to show some affection or you're moving on.

I gotta feeling she really wants to get closer but is too shy, inexperienced, and/or family-pressured to do so. You are the man so it's really up to you.

I've been here a year and this is the first I've heard of a "sniff kiss". The name sounds creepy.. how do you do it, what does it mean?

I should mention, I'm half italian and lived there for several years. I find it normal for to walk hand in hand, arm around each other, kiss goodbye, and thats just with friends! One of the things I find hardest in Thailand is how people say goodbye just by giving a little wave and walking off.

I have actually kissed this girl on the head a few times when saying goodbye at the bus stop (she's shorter than me so it is easy to do). Again she was smiling but didnt seem sure how to react.

But apart from our differences with PDA we get along really well, that's why I made this topic. I've met a lot of girls in bangkok and this is the first i think could be a potential girlfriend.

[celso]

A little add on to my previous insightful post; don't worry of things moving into the friendship zone. That doesn't exist in Thailand between boy and girl. It took my gf quite some time to understand I have female friends abroad whom I don't sleep with.

Really? That's tough a tough one to get my head around. How does that work, boys and girls don't hang out alone? Surely if I did nothing for the next three months, made no attempts to escalate things, she's going to start seeing me as just a friend?

Edited December 13, 2013 by celso

[Hardened Spanker]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

I'd cut down on the herbal stuff if I was you Ed,it seems to be clouding your already somewhat suspect judgement!

He's said on a number of occasions that's he's 26,or roughly the number of hairs you have left on your head!

[salapau]

I think you need to talk to her rather than ask for advice on this platform. Nice lunch somewhere and tell her what you're thinking and feeling. Don't try = don't know.

[HerbalEd]

Tell her you've got a surprise present for her. Then tell her to shut her eyes. After that, kiss her (on the lips, cheek, or where ever you think is best).

See how she reacts. If she is offended, grossed out, screams etc. then tell her to eff off and find someone else.

Actually this is a good idea ... without the eff off part. Always be the gentleman.

I suggest when she closes her eyes you give her a gentle, short Thai sniff kiss on the cheek ... and leave it at that. If, indeed, she does freak out then be politely and respectfully honest and say you really want to be with her but she has to show some affection or you're moving on.

I gotta feeling she really wants to get closer but is too shy, inexperienced, and/or family-pressured to do so. You are the man so it's really up to you.

I've been here a year and this is the first I've heard of a "sniff kiss". The name sounds creepy.. how do you do it, what does it mean?

I should mention, I'm half italian and lived there for several years. I find it normal for to walk hand in hand, arm around each other, kiss goodbye, and thats just with friends! One of the things I find hardest in Thailand is how people say goodbye just by giving a little wave and walking off.

I have actually kissed this girl on the head a few times when saying goodbye at the bus stop (she's shorter than me so it is easy to do). Again she was smiling but didnt seem sure how to react.

But apart from our differences with PDA we get along really well, that's why I made this topic. I've met a lot of girls in bangkok and this is the first i think could be a potential girlfriend.

The sniff kiss is not at all "creepy." There was a rather long discussion on this in TV.com a couple of days ago. Search it out and you may find the key to her _____. I'll let you fill in the blank.

[Kangawallafox]

Make her an offer she can't refuse.

[HerbalEd]

To the OP. You've been asked several times how old you are ... and yet not a word from you. Don't be shy ... tell us how old you are. Otherwise we must assume you're an old fart and then we know pretty much why this girl is not showing physical affection.

I'd cut down on the herbal stuff if I was you Ed,it seems to be clouding your already somewhat suspect judgement!

He's said on a number of occasions that's he's 26,or roughly the number of hairs you have left on your head!

Actually, the nickname comes from being in the legal medicinal herb business for the past 35 years ... although I've definitely smoked more than my share of the wicked weed. However, I haven't smoked anything for several months .... hey, wait a minute ... maybe that's the problem.

Edited December 13, 2013 by HerbalEd

[OxfordWill]

Yes it is normal, and yes she likely is a virgin, so bear that in mind before you make any serious moves.

She will likely be much less shy about talking about things via text/chat/email, especially if its in English (assumig this is her second language). You can ask her directly about your concerns (although I would not label them to her as such) and youll probably be surprised that she doesnt mind to talk about them. Bring up the cultural differences as a precursor. You'll be better informed, have more realistic expectations and feel much better if you have this conversation with her, but obviously, make it all about "learning more about her" rather than "pushing her to do something".

It will feel like highschool (because us farangs do all this much earlier than many Thais do) and if my experiences in this regard are anything to go by, that feeling will only get stronger and not only related to physical stuff. Some guys like it- it seems asian men in particular. YMMV.

Edited December 13, 2013 by OxfordWill

[Bernard Flint]

o.k she,s a 20 year old schoolgirl and i,m guessing your in your 60,s ,

i know there,s not but there should be a law about it just being

WRONG .....

SIR

May i ask what are you ranting on about.Why guess his age,just ask him.Are u a sex monger sir

[bangarang]

A little add on to my previous insightful post; don't worry of things moving into the friendship zone. That doesn't exist in Thailand between boy and girl. It took my gf quite some time to understand I have female friends abroad whom I don't sleep with.

Totally agree. There is no friendzone in thailand between boys and girls here. My wife also took some getting used to knowing that im friends with girls back home, even an ex gf. Im sure if any came to visit me even after being happily married for 2 years now the shit would hit the fan. Its hard for any culture to understand but specifically Thais.

As long as your taking up most of her free time outside her studies then you have nothing to worry about bro. Im 30 and kinda went through the same thing you did at the beginning of my relationship. She lived with her mom and even hard a hard time spending the night at my place because she didnt want to have to lie to her mom to say where she was. I never understood this because she is only 1 year younger than me.

You have to move past this overthinking because it will only stress yourself out. As some suggested before maybe try to take a small weekend trip somewhere. There are so many spots in the country and take it from there. Dont pressure her too much but make that an attempt for atleast a kiss. If she is shy you will definitely have to take it slow. If you really like this girl though just be happy she isnt a butterfly and flirting and sexting all the other boys. Sounds like you found a good real thai girl.

[bangarang]

Tell her you've got a surprise present for her. Then tell her to shut her eyes. After that, kiss her (on the lips, cheek, or where ever you think is best).

See how she reacts. If she is offended, grossed out, screams etc. then tell her to eff off and find someone else.

Actually this is a good idea ... without the eff off part. Always be the gentleman.

I suggest when she closes her eyes you give her a gentle, short Thai sniff kiss on the cheek ... and leave it at that. If, indeed, she does freak out then be politely and respectfully honest and say you really want to be with her but she has to show some affection or you're moving on.

I gotta feeling she really wants to get closer but is too shy, inexperienced, and/or family-pressured to do so. You are the man so it's really up to you.

I've been here a year and this is the first I've heard of a "sniff kiss". The name sounds creepy.. how do you do it, what does it mean?

I should mention, I'm half italian and lived there for several years. I find it normal for to walk hand in hand, arm around each other, kiss goodbye, and thats just with friends! One of the things I find hardest in Thailand is how people say goodbye just by giving a little wave and walking off.

I have actually kissed this girl on the head a few times when saying goodbye at the bus stop (she's shorter than me so it is easy to do). Again she was smiling but didnt seem sure how to react.

But apart from our differences with PDA we get along really well, that's why I made this topic. I've met a lot of girls in bangkok and this is the first i think could be a potential girlfriend.

Haha, i know its really strange. I first found out about it from my mother-in-law. If she or I would go away for a few days she would give me a hug and a sniff kiss. Its pretty much like kissing on both the left and right cheek but instead of your lips touch you do a short but firm sniff with your nose. I haven't given one to anyone but received many from my mother-in-law

[Stupi]

A farang dating a 20 year old Thai lady should know that he needs months of patience.

If he wants a quick start relationship that may or may not last try a few bar girls then you will get the instant gratification you are looking for.

Thai ladies are by nature conservative and take a long time to give trust, many months not weeks, so if you are prepared to wait and show your commitment you may be in for a good thing, otherwise look elsewhere.

I have been down the long road and am now very happy indeed.