What's The Worst Thing You've Done While Drunk?

[Lormaak]

Just That. We've all done it. When you wake up sore headed and think you've had a bizzare dream where you did something outrageous. As you go through the day you get get little snippets of memory until you realise... oh <deleted>... I didn't, did I? I bloody well did too... So what's been the damage? Confess all here... behind your anonymity.

Edit: Correction

Edited May 11, 2006 by Lormaak

[rio666uk]

during my stag do - previous marriage - i got up on a table in a crowded chinese restaurant, stripped down to my undercrackers and sang along to rugby songs with 30 other lads sat around our table...

highly ammusing for them - distressing and upsetting for the other diners - and still a point of embarrasment to me 6 years on - more so as i ended my finale breaking the table in half, falling flat on my face breaking my specs, and taking everyones beer glasses and plates with me....

oh and i had to pay for damages too.

<deleted> of a good night though - i have much respect from my peers

[game4shame]

bar getting run over, punched and endless failed chat-up lines the worst time that stands out must've been a collapse from a standing start in a boozer.

I was on a major drinking mission in my local when my legs just gave way beneath me in full view of everyone!! I lay there for a while pissing myself laughing then just got up, dusted myself down and carried on boozing.

through my pissed-up imaginary invincibility I didn't realise I had torn ligaments in my knee and walked all the way home that night.

needless to say, I woke up in the morning with a left knee the size of a bowling ball as well as a monumental hangover.

I had to crawl to the phone to get someone to drive me to casualty and was on crutches for a few weeks.

what a tosser!!

[slackula]

I once got my head stuck between the foot rail and the bottom of the bar counter in the bar of the Inter-continental hotel in Muscat, Oman which was packed at the time.

My group didn't notice me for a while and I could hear them asking where I had gone until one of them tripped over me as I was desperately tring to get myself out.

After they did notice me they all picked me up by my legs and yanked on them until my head came free. Next morning I had the WORST stiff neck ever.

[Tippaporn]

Celebrated my 19th birthday a tad too much by emptying a fifth of southern Comfort while playing penny ante poker at my sister's. I turned down an offer by her to sleep over, and another for a ride home. Decided to take the bus instead.

One of my "friends" then had to hold me upright against the wall of a tavern while waiting at the stop. Climbed aboard and immediately emptied my guts. I do remember the bus driver asking me if I wanted to get off. I'll bet he wished I did!

First bus pulled into the terminal after a short 5 mile leg of my 3 transfer journey. Second bus had already arrived. I cleaned his windshield with my coat while staggering towards the door. Lost my transfer and had to pay for another. Noticed that it was 1 AM.

This leg of the journey was only a mere mile. Next thing I remember the bus driver was shaking me, repeatedly asking, "Buddy, you said you wanted to get off here, didn't ya?" I had been sleeping on the bus floorboard. It was now 3 AM. And while we headed north at the start we were now headed south.

Thankfully got off thinking "four more miles." Unfortunately, the route of my last leg did not run during the wee hours so I had to leg it. February in Chicago, mind you. I still had the balls to stick my thumb out at passing cars hoping for a quick lift and a merciful end to my nightmare. I guess I couldn't smell the vomit all over my coat and face. My stupor spared me that much.

Geezus, I'm embarassed all over again.

[Tywais]

Does dancing the pole at a go-go bar count.

[Thaipwriter]

I once got that drunk that i could not be bothered to walk the 500 meters home from the pub. I found a car that had one of its doors unlocked and got in and went to sleep. I was awoken in the morning by the owner who got into the drivers seat next to me and was about to go to work.

I had no idea where i was and luckily the guy saw the funny side.

I apologized and go out the car quickly!

[sbk]

Once this post has been move to 'Farang Pub...' please delete this entry... (do the mods have this much power?)

Yup, and you are absolutely right. Belongs in Farang pub.

Worst I ever did was slam my finger in the door. Boy, I am quite tame compared to you lot!!

[Tippaporn]

BTW, who hasn't slept over a toilet bowl . . . at least once?

[Thaipwriter]

I once got that drunk that i could not be bothered to walk the 500 meters home from the pub. I found a car that had one of its doors unlocked and got in and went to sleep. I was awoken in the morning by the owner who got into the drivers seat next to me and was about to go to work.

I had no idea where i was and luckily the guy saw the funny side.

I apologized and go out the car quickly!

[Tywais]

Does dancing the pole at a go-go bar count.

[sbk]

Once this post has been move to 'Farang Pub...' please delete this entry... (do the mods have this much power?)

Yup, and you are absolutely right. Belongs in Farang pub.

Worst I ever did was slam my finger in the door. Boy, I am quite tame compared to you lot!!

[Chang_paarp]

Went to the local for a few drinks for my birthday. Had the required bottle of OP rum, and decided it was time to steer the porcelain bus for a while. I did not make the required mess so I waited for a while.

It seems that I fell asleep. I woke up some time later and staggered out of the toilet to find my friends. Not there. Bastreds had gone and left me behind. Looked around and realised that there was no-one there. I had been locked in. Not wanting (or needing) any more to drink I walked to the door unlocked it and left.

I was about hlaf way round the side of the pub when the alarm went off. I kept walking, got to the highway and hitched home. Only to find a mate in my bed with someone he could not take home because his girlfreind would object.

I was not impressed at the time, but can see the humour of it now.

[OneeyedJohn]

I really should tell this after a couple if beers..it would be easier..but here is little story that shows the CLASS of !st class stewards on Gulf Air.

A long time ago when employed in UAE i was informed of a family bereavment that led to me consuming a lot of Vodka ( not my normal tipple ) whilst I mulled over whether toreturn to UK or not. Of course I did and went to the airport drunk but in a sad morbid way such that I was alowed on the plane ( 1st class because my employers would pay). My only memory of the flight was disembarking withthe chief steward smiling in that way they have and saying quietly to me " We don't normally expect that behaviour here Sir "

I had at some time in the flight climbed up on my seat , extracted John Thomas and pissed on the seat in front.

The utter shame of it.

[vegas]

I had just 18 turned and decided to celebrate at the local RSL club with my next door neighbor and spent the entire day drinking beer, eating several packets corn chips and playing snooker. At some point we thought it a good idea to go and get a tattoo at the famous Kings Cross which meant taking a 1 hour train trip across town. Apparently the motion of the train didn’t agree with me and I started vomiting all over myself 2 minutes into the trip and continued for the next half hour minutes until my stomach was empty. As more and more people left the carriage get off evidently offended by the mess I had made of myself, I fell into a deep sleep.

When we arrived at our destination, my friend couldn’t wake me from my stupor and decided not to waste the trip so he left me in the carriage while he went off to the tattoo shop. I remained on the carriage making several circuits of the city and suburbs for the next few hours before I awoke with a policeman under each arm as they hauled me away and loaded me into the back of the police wagon and drove off. I was sitting all alone in the back of the paddy wagon wondering where the hel_l I was and how the hel_l I got there, while obliviously releasing dozens of noxious farts that smelled bad enough to make a blow fly vomit, but as I was so pissed, I couldn’t smell a thing.

We pulled up at the station where 2 policemen and a lady cop opened the back of the wagon to let me out and reeled backwards as my stench assaulted their nostrils. The lady cop pinched her nose and said “Oh God, he’s shit himself!” My feeble response was “It wasn’t me!”

The police then transferred me to nearest ‘Mission Beat’ where the cop explained to my case officer that they had found me drunk and fast asleep on the train covered in my own vomit. This was news to me as my short term memory had completely left me. I was astounded when I looked down at myself and saw that the entire front of my shirt was covered in a rock hard layer of dried corn chips which was one inch think in some places. Realising that I had totally lost it I allowed them to wash my clothes, while I took a shower and then spent the night sleeping with all of the serious winos. When I woke my case officer told me that he was unable to contact my parents and sent me home. Unfortunately he did manage to call my parents while I caught the train for the return journey and I had to make up a lie that someone had dropped something into my drink that had caused me to temporarily lose my mind.

[Neeranam]

Afraid I can't say - I'd be locked up!

Could tell you a few of the others though, but then again.

[Superfly]

I woke up next to this really hot chick once- doesnt sound so bad until she told me where we met:

KC3

[skylar]

I went to sleep in a nightclub before midnight. I had 12 vodka oranges.

[game4shame]

I went to sleep in a nightclub before midnight. I had 12 vodka oranges.

I forgot - this is by far my most cringy pissed moment:

I fell asleep in a club once still in collar and tie (i'd went out straight from work). classy.

as a result the bouncers booted me out the fire door straight into the taxi queue. the music from inside the club was playing through speakers outside the front of the club beside the taxi queue.

the music that was playing at the time I was forcefully removed was 'macarena'. a couple of chavvy pissed-up slappers were doing the dance in full view of the taxi queue.

guess who joined them.......

[Old Croc]

Just this last Xmas/New Year in Patong I really laid into the piss one night. I finished up somewhere near the tiger bar area in Soi Bangla when I decided I couldn't pour another drop in and headed to my hotel. The lady I had been with had earlier spewed over both our feet and gone home.

I managed to get to the bottom (beach) end of Bangla when my legs decided they weren't going to work any more. Fortunately there are always many Tuk Tuks waiting there so I grabbed one to take me to The Patong Bay Garden Resort where I was staying.

My request was met with much incredulity and laughter, but for 100b I was delivered to my hotel, a good 60-70 metres from Bangla Rd.

I couldn't work out why, for the rest of my stay, the hotel security guy escorted me to my room everytime I came home, shining his torch on the path in front of me and the keyhole while I opened my door.

I know I've done a lot more embarressing things, but I thought I'd stick to this year.

Edited May 12, 2006 by Old Croc

[thaibebop]

I have not been drunk in years, but when I was I was a philosophical drunk, which led to depression or a really low key head shake. So, I sat againt a wall a rambled through my thoughts and others ideas. I guess the crazy thing was staying like this for hours without passing out.

[Joey Boy]

The worst ones in thailand for me are..

Getting woken up by the police @ 6am because I was asleep in a highway toll booth and an employee had turned up to work.. (from what I remember, I couldnt find a taxi home from the concert, must have had a good 6hrs sleep though).

and..

Having to face the police & manager of the condotel I was staying @ the morning after a friend who stayed overnight decided to throw the TV out of the 14th floor window when England got nocked outa Euro 2004.

[kayo]

Just That. We've all done it. When you wake up sore headed and think you've had a bizzare dream where you did something outrageous. As you go through the day you get get little snippets of memory until you realise... oh <deleted>... I didn't, did I? I bloody well did too... So what's been the damage? Confess all here... behind your anonymity.

Edit: Correction

Unfortunately, After two years nearly online and a few thousand posts, I fear I may not be so anonymous anymore.... Many things I can tell and you ask me for the worst. This, if truth be told, I can not tell. Perhaps some other dredges will come to mind though...

I once got my head stuck between the foot rail and the bottom of the bar counter

eh??

Does dancing the pole at a go-go bar count.

BTW, who hasn't slept over a toilet bowl . . . at least once?

No Tip.. What you do in your own bar, up to u. I just don´t stand for that sort of behaviour in my establishment you know.

Does dancing the pole at a go-go bar count.

Depens on how you rateo on the sexy cute female / Hairy fat ugly male Scale

I woke up next to this really hot chick once- doesnt sound so bad until she told me where we met:

KC3

I´ve awoken to a fair range of ladies who just never seem quite as attractive as the previous night after a bottle of tequila and 8 or 9 liters.

The worst time, that worst morning where you wake up in bed with someone and justthink, "Oh my F*cking lord God hail mary and all your virgin sister... what have we here?" Type moment... The girl was actually pretty cute, but <deleted> man.... She was my cousin.

When I was a kid, I had this massive basement room that was my bedroom, and growing up in adrian mole year, my mates and I (3 guys, 3 girls) would hang there many hours day and night, playing guitar, smokin´ pot, exploring sexual adventure (new to us in our puberty) and no shame in a scene common for a while, having the three lads sitting on the sofa watching music video´s or porn from Canal Plus and holding a beer in one hand, a roach in the other, and any of the three cute french girls interchange between our laps, with distinct lapping sounds.

I{m sure more memories will arise....My heads hurting a bit from last night...

[britmaveric]

Came in one night from the pub - all seems normal. Well wake up in the middle of the night still pissed and heading for the loo. Instead of opening the door to the loo ended up in my uncles room and started to take a piss. Needless to say he was none to happy about it!!!

[bkkmadness]

I can't give my most cringeworthy moments coz theres been lots of them, but Brits inspired me to mention that I almost pissed on my gfs grandma while she was sleeping a few months back. The next day after being told the story I kept repeating in me head:

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

I will in future not drink Lao cow shots with Nam Kiel chasers.

honest guv.

[khall64au]

Shooter Bar, Red Deer, Alberta. 1989. My friend took me to a shooter bar with a loooong alphabetical menu of shooters. We started at A and worked our way through the alphabet. I finished on B for "Brain Haemmorrhage"..... Back at her house, my bedroom starting spinning wildly out-of-control. In the darkness, I had no idea which way to the bathroom.... the end result was messy and embarrassing.... but she forgave me, since I was still jetlagged and it was my first night in town (and Canada too I may add)!

[britmaveric]

BKK - yeah my uncle said I was about an inch away from pissing on his head. He said if this would have happened I'd been tossed out the window onto the back garden.

BTW - stick DO NOT DRINK BARLEY WINE ON THE LIST - EVIL STUFF!!!

Edited May 12, 2006 by britmaveric

[Totster]

Christ.... I have sooooo many stories... too embarrasing..

totster

[Joey Boy]

BKK - yeah my uncle said I was about an inch away from pissing on his head. He said if this would have happened I'd been tossed out the window onto the back garden.

BTW - stick DO NOT DRINK BARLEY WINE ON THE LIST - EVIL STUFF!!!

A mate of mine pissed all over some random girl while she was sleeping in a aussie backpackers hostel

[sanook2me]

so many stories but this is my favourite bkk one.

having acted at father christmas at school and dressed up as him with beard and all me and a fellow teacher went down town after consuming large amounts of lager and whiksy i was put into a taxi my next moment waking sights were of lying on the road in my moo barn still dressed as santa with beard and all over looked by a disturbed security guard and a 2 passerbys..... santa had passed out.. i still had on my full santa outift while lying polaxed in the road minus wallet and house keys..they draggd me to my feet and put me on the back of the security guys mortorbike and took me me home... poor santa was drink sodden and late for the 25th the Thais didn't seem to mind.......

i had to wait 8 hours for my mate to get home before i had a drink!