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Why do Thais watch me and gossip so much?


Tmymaimee

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Or,.......... just maybe........it's possible......., it has been known........you could be a bit paranoid.

Or maybe maybe again, he's just exposing a common trait of the lovely people around us, because he care to listen and try to understand others rather then living in a dreamworld and refusing to accept reality for what it is...came out of your bubble people.

This attitude of refusing to understand reality, it reminds me of those people that despite having received a bad service, being charged twice for service plus a crazy interest added charge, are still insisting in wanting to "tip" on top of it and reward all those wrongs....what da heck!!...and then someone wonder why the world is falling apart, i can give you a clue or 2 about it

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I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

One adage I have used throughout my adult life and that is:

Never sh1t on your own doorstep.

And if you have to do so, don't slip in it.................thumbsup.gif

That pretty much goes for anywhere in the world. Although it appears you have been aggrieved by 'nosey neighbours', perhaps one day those same neighbours will save your house from being burgled or burning down.

Edited by chrisinth
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Something like 70-80% of the spoken word is gossip, Thailand likely being more like 99%. However, you did kind of ask for it, bringing home a tart when you've go a missus. They're just looking out for their own. As an side, locals asking what one earns or pays for accommodation tends to have more to do with where to place you in the social hierarchy.

I think it's like 60% gossip and 40% about food.

I have heard it said that it's not worth the effort it takes to learn the Thai language unless you only care about gossip and food!

Keep in mind that a lot of the gossip you hear will be about " that farang" you.

Also, get use to the "how much" question.

No matter what it is you have just bought, a Thai will always ask you "how much".

It's like "how are you?" they probably don't care what you paid, it's just a conversation starter.

They don't really care how you are either! lol

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She wasn't happy at all but I just said I made a mistake and wouldn't do it again (which I won't). I was just sort of lazy that day and didn't think at midday there would be inquisitive little brown eyes in the shadows. Most of the trade here is at dinner and at noon, most shops are closed. Also, my place is far more comfortable than some cruddy room but I was wrong for what I did.

I don't want to discuss the merits of what someone does with their free time…that to me is no one's business but their own.

I just can't fathom how some people in Thailand are so interested in the comings and goings of virtual strangers, as my girlfriend or I don't even know these people. I'm not taking like a neighbour who knows you and might say, "hey, your wife / husband was around with someone yesterday…"

This would be more like someone at 7-11 watching customers and thinking they know something about you based on the fact that you live close by. For all I know, these restaurant workers don't even live around me.

Sure, people gossip but I've never seen it on the level I see in Thailand. All I can think is that there lives are so boring and pathetic that they have to live through other people's lives; i.e. their daily soap operas, farang girlfriends (does she work bar….oh, oh..gossip…crap.)

Do Thais ask other Thais how much their rent is? I've never heard it yet...

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OP: "Now that I speak Thai, everywhere I listen (elevators, street corners, etc.) I hear Thai people gossip".

Maybe you have learned a few words and when you hear them you think that you're important enough to be gossiped about?

Or,.......... just maybe........it's possible......., it has been known........you could be a bit paranoid.

I have been watching him every day and I don't believe he is paraoid

55555 just make sure the thais are speaking thai and that's what you're hearing and not japanese or then you will be in real trouble ;)
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Priceless. Brings home a hooker in front of her neighbors who know his girlfriend and then gets upset when they tell her.

How did the missus react?

Thai's love to bang hookers but they wouldn't dare bring one back to the place they live. Shows a major lack of class. Learn something from them even if you can't understand their gossiping. ;)

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Okay, I screwed up. I'm still learning this face thing.

The point of my post is this:

Why do Thais seem concerned enough to comment on what a total stranger does with their life?

I'm not trying to say it was someone else's fault; just asking why they seem to care so much about other peoples' business which is really of no concern or relevance to their lives.

Do you care about random strangers and their behaviour in your world? I've only witnessed this in Thailand. Just an observation and not a complaint. I love living here, especially when I see the snow storms and high prices I left back home.

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"...Last week I brought a female guest over mid day for a few hours. One of the restaurant shop workers just had to mention it to my girlfriend the next day..."

---

If you don't want people to gossip about you, stop supplying the juicy material.

T

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OP,

Thais always ask about the cost of things. It is simply what they do, but the question is easily skirted around with an inoffensive but evasive answer, as suggested earlier in this thread.


You are not going to have much luck trying to change the game here in Thailand, so the sooner you learn how to play, the happier you will be. Again the problem is not theirs, and insulting them and the way they live their lives, is not going to get you very far.

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While i acknowledge the common sense underpinning suggestions that the OP was an idiot to bring a "female guest" back to the home he shares with his GF, I can't see how it applies when one doesn't live with their significant other.

I guess it all depends on whether or not you give a rat's arse what the overwhelming majority of these people think.

If you do, maybe you should consider for a moment, the stock of those passing judgment on a single man, living alone, bringing a guest back to his place.

Somchai the moto-taxi - 3 kids, 3 different mothers, doesn't pay a shekel for his childrens' upbringing

Phichai the security guard - beats 10 shades of shit out of the missus when she doesn't bring home enough from her job in the massage shop to cover his drinking bills

Meao the 7-11 girl who smokes more meth than Breaking Bad's Skinny Pete and gambles whatever's left over on anything from pool to poker

Puts things into perspective, I think

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Why do Thais seem concerned enough to comment on what a total stranger does with their life?

You're not a total stranger, you're the talk of the town, the celeb in the making, the superstar of real life soap opera. Take it that way and grin with a bling.

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That's all I really wanted to know; why are they this way, speaking from a psychological perspective. Is day to day life in Bangkok actually as mundane and boring that someone walking down the street with a girl is worthwhile noting?

I'm so busy every day doing all of the things I love to do that I just have a hard time comprehending how someone's life can be so shallow that they care enough about other people outside of their own family. Where do they find the time?

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Yes they have nothing better to do, gossiping is the national sport.

I have a neighbour who always comes to ask what i am doing, even when i water the garden. When my wife's car is not here he asks where she is. When i go somewhere he comes to ask where i am going. When my wife's car is not here he even brings me food.

He's not a bad guy but just very nosy. I started to give him stupid answers on stupid questions but that doesn't help. He also always asks how much i paid for something and where i bought it.

He leaves home to work at 5:30 am and comes back at 21:00 every day also saturdays. I guess he really has nothing better to do than follow me. Well i m used to it now and don't care.

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That's all I really wanted to know; why are they this way, speaking from a psychological perspective. Is day to day life in Bangkok actually as mundane and boring that someone walking down the street with a girl is worthwhile noting?

I'm so busy every day doing all of the things I love to do that I just have a hard time comprehending how someone's life can be so shallow that they care enough about other people outside of their own family. Where do they find the time?

...Because Thais regard other Thais as family. Why do you think they call each other sister or brother, P.

If you saw your sister's husband or boyfriend taking another woman into her home, wouldn't you tell her?

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Okay, I screwed up. I'm still learning this face thing.

The point of my post is this:

Why do Thais seem concerned enough to comment on what a total stranger does with their life?

I'm not trying to say it was someone else's fault; just asking why they seem to care so much about other peoples' business which is really of no concern or relevance to their lives.

Do you care about random strangers and their behaviour in your world? I've only witnessed this in Thailand. Just an observation and not a complaint. I love living here, especially when I see the snow storms and high prices I left back home.

You seem to be ranting to a bunch of strangers who don't give a toss either, why do you bother, nobody here cares.

There's your answer.

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When the Thai folks ask "Do I have a Thai wife or a girlfriend?" I just answer "Both!" and leave them to ponder.

This combined with the rent question is cleverly designed to see if you have enough spare cash to make it worthwhile for them to offer you their daughter/sister/wife as a bed partner.

I have started just answering this question "yes" whether I have a GF or not at the time. Last time I said "No", a shop owner offered me his 13 year old daughter.

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