I’m meeting the gf’s parents on Sunday. They are worried that I don’t have a job

[HeavyDrinker]

A woman only becomes 'spoiled goods' (what a vile term) in the minds of men too childish to accept the facts of life...I could think of a fair few blokes (of many nationalities) who'd happily have a pop at my missus (if I were off the scene) in spite of her having been wed to me for 22 years this July.

I think all this "Thai men don't want to know a woman whose been with a foreigner as they're 'spoiled goods'' is Stickman urban myth bullshit; perpetuated by his readership via their bar stools; repeat it enough times and it becomes 'fact'.

I'll wager few people could actually give an example of a bloke dumping a hot lass because he thought she was 'spoiled goods'' due to her former choice of partner. It's an utter crock of shit....

I mean, all those rough gossipy old boots down the market are married (one assumes to Thai men) so it didn't look like they could 'pick and choose'' nor "keep the best one's for themselves''

Edited January 20, 2014 by HeavyDrinker

[chrisinth]

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a million seems steep... are you sure she's being straight with you?

as for meeting the parents, be yourself - assuming you're not a drunken slob...

the worrying thing is third party advice; thai's a renown for listening to and taking on board friends and family advice that can be given more put of jealousy or spite than a genuine desire to be constructive and helpful. the only hope you have is that your GF is independently minded enough to make her own decisions. good luck.

Agree that One Million seems steep for me to. My Wife is University Educated as well and I paid 200,000 Baht, which I could afford. Her younger sister just got married to a Thai and hers was the same as mine. But I think they offered them more Gold as well.

To help solve your unemployment problem, invest in a Good Gold Ring and then Watch, if you can afford both. Thais see Gold as the same as seeing Money. So as long as they see your Gold Ring, they will know you have money and not worry anymore. Believe Me! They will be more impressed with your Gold Ring than a bunch of Diploma's from a Man who isn't working.

gold plated then ? if hes not a jeweller he wont know the difference and its a nice insurance policy if they are trying to

fleece another stupid farang alt=biggrin.png width=20 height=20>

No! Real Gold! I think 98.50% is about 23K, or is it 96.50%? But anyway this is about as high and pure as you can get in jewellery. The Gold Ring is for Him, and not for her or their family. So no matter what happens this will belong to him. True they all may not know the difference on appearance, but if anyone wants to see it up close the weight will give the cheaper ring away. As will the writing on the inside of the Ring. Like 23K (Real) or No writing (which means Worthless!).

.....................................................................................

But as they say in Thailand, "Up To You!".

Oh Ya! You won't understand a word they say on your first visit, or her extended family at least, but just keep smiling. This is the Land of Smiles!

Can you abbreviate this to 3 words or less please ?

I read this one from the bottom up. Got as far as "Up To You" and considered this as the abbreviation, in three words............

[oogster8]

A thai man meets a thai girl who has a luk kreung. Chance are kids father is a SEX tourist. Thai man call it quits right on the spot.

[HeavyDrinker]

A thai man meets a thai girl who has a luk kreung. Chance are kids father is a SEX tourist. Thai man call it quits right on the spot.

<deleted>. If he's like most of the blokes I know, if she's hot, he'll at least biff her one and won't give a toss about the kid or who the father may be.....

[belg]

you want to date the girl or her parents? looooooooooooooooooooool

you are who you are, and should not give a FFFFFFFFFFF what others think ...

you have your income, she has hers, and the rest is nonos business

off course being polite works

but if no immediate plans for marriage, give it a rest ...

[Tmymaimee]

A thai man meets a thai girl who has a luk kreung. Chance are kids father is a SEX tourist. Thai man call it quits right on the spot.

Did you write this during Happy Hour after your 10 Changs? So Tiger Woods or all the half Thai children of TV members here are the spawn of SEX tourists?

I suppose your disclaimer of "Chances are" gives you an out when called on that as you can say…"well, I never claimed all…".

Would the Thai man first do a full DNA testing to verify the percentage of Thai genes in the child to determine if he is 100% Thai? What if the mother was part Chinese and the kid was white yet the father was 100% Thai for 3 generations? Would he call it quits right on the spot? What makes someone Thai? After all, they all came from China at one time, and likely Africa or the Middle East before that.

[oogster8]

Mr Woods was in the military when he met mrs woods. What do you think? You know noone ever delves into the family history-i think its odd,

Do you know MOMs occupation?

[oogster8]

Mr Woods was in the military when he met mrs woods. What do you think? You know noone ever delves into the family history-i think its odd,

Do you know MOMs occupation?

Come to think of it- i do notice a lot of AFRiKAN traits in thai. The big booty, big lipps, kinky hair, ability to run and run and run....................lol.

[speedtripler]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

[oogster8]

i love tata when she sings thai. Anyone know her history. You just dont hear about their life stories. Do they make moveies or write bokks about thes famous luk kruengs?

They could be role models to so many thais kids.

Edited January 20, 2014 by oogster8

[HeavyDrinker]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

[harrry]

Anyone else ever get the feeling some forum topics are created intentionally as a way to draw a lot of attention for internet ,marketing/advertising purposes? Some topics seem to have high relevance, interest, and connection to the demographic of tv forum. Some topics seem to express a keen interest by the op, yet with minimal subsequent involvement.

I researched this theory and it turns out there actually are ghostwriters for internet discussion forums.

Of course there are.

To think otherwise is just gullible....especially here.

Somoen that can talk a lot, or blether much, might for example...make a good employed ghostwriter.

So in actuality the OP could be a tattoo ridden morbidly obese ex convict high school dropout that devotes life to low end beer bars in pattaya with the ability to come up with fictional stories of high interest yield.

that could explain why my 2 cordially polite pm's did not receive so much as a simple acknowledgment and were later vacated from the conversation.

he could also be a she.

[oogster8]

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

you need to segment. These bfs you speak of are the male counterpart of the bargirls. The decent thai girls want no part of them.................lol.

Thais are not open minded. YOu bargirl or barboy-you have scarlett letter for life.

[speedtripler]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

come on ,be honest

how many thai men will take a farang throwaway or a divorcee with kids ?

why do they always marry girls as young as possible ?

its a loss of face here and your either denying it or its a touchy subject for you personally ?

ps - i dont even have a barstool

[HeavyDrinker]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

come on ,be honest

how many thai men will take a farang throwaway or a divorcee with kids ?

why do they always marry girls as young as possible ?

its a loss of face here and your either denying it or its a touchy subject for you personally ?

ps - i dont even have a barstool

Why would it be a touchy subject for me? I'm not a Thai male.

You failed to address any of the points I made above. Try doing that before trying to get personal and throw in more random made up nonsense to the mix.

I think you'd find Thai men are a lot more open to an attractive woman no matter about her past, if you knew any...

[transam]

OP has left the room......

[HeavyDrinker]

OP has left the room......

I think the OP has been kidnapped by the prospective in-laws. Maybe his prospects didn't please the high fliers....

[HeavyDrinker]

OP has left the room......

I think the OP has been kidnapped by the prospective in-laws Mr T. Maybe his prospects didn't please the high fliers....

[speedtripler]

OP has left the room......

who needs an op on a thread like this loll ?

maybe his gf has been snapped up by a rich thai bachelor and hes afraid to come back

and tell us like some on this thread would have you believe

[atyclb]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

because they are in business together?

[HeavyDrinker]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

because they are in business together?

I doubt the boyfriend does much in the bedroom....unless he's that way inclined...

[atyclb]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

come on ,be honest

how many thai men will take a farang throwaway or a divorcee with kids ?

why do they always marry girls as young as possible ?

its a loss of face here and your either denying it or its a touchy subject for you personally ?

ps - i dont even have a barstool

Here here. Can a mod please move this thread to an Oxford think tank forum?

[atyclb]

i think once a thai woman hits the farang market that means shes finshed

with thai men or theyre finsihed with her or she knows she has no chance with a good one (with money etc )

i dont know many thai men who would marry a girl whos damaged goods (divorced or with previous children )

and there certaintly woiuldnt be massive sin-sods and gold and stuff involved if a thai man were taking her on

Utter Cobblers, unless it became publicly known she's a brass (or a former brass) then maybe. What are these Thai men going to do? Run a full background check of all her previous lovers? How about if she was a former karaoke girl servicing fat old Thai men? Would that be OK in the eyes of these Thai men or are you just making shit up?

How do you account for the fact that so many of the girls in the 'farang market' have Thai boyfriends? Back to your bar stool and come back when you've got some facts to share instead of spurious nonsense.

because they are in business together?

I doubt the boyfriend does much in the bedroom....unless he's that way inclined...

why do think bar girl boyfriends are gay? or perhaps alcoholic and uninterested in anything else?

[HeavyDrinker]

why do think bar girl boyfriends are gay? or perhaps alcoholic and uninterested in anything else?

How do you imply that from that one line?

[danbradster]

For me it was 1 million which I understood a significant portion would be returned. In the end, about half of it went to the cost of a big wedding, 20% for the parents and maybe 20-30% back to me. Well, not too bad.

Similar circumstances to you: masters educated girl (planning to study a PHD), middle class parents.

[Straight8]

The advice I usually give to a farang in this situation is to tell the parents you don't like the sin sod system and you don't want to give any money.

You would be surprised in how understanding Thai people are.

I don't know anyone that couldn't get married because he was not willing to give the sin sod money.

If confronted with this situation, in most cases Thai parents will use their own money to show at the ceremony.

When you meet the parents it's important to be very polite, act humble, just try to make good impression.

Talk from your heart and explain them why you think you'll be able to give their daughter a stable future.

I think the OP has already mentioned that whatever sin sod paid would be returned to him. So why make an issue of it (paying sin sod) and perhaps causing ill feelings, when it will be returned anyway?

And you know this how ??

Oh, right..the OP said so!!!

[Straight8]

For me it was 1 million which I understood a significant portion would be returned. In the end, about half of it went to the cost of a big wedding, 20% for the parents and maybe 20-30% back to me. Well, not too bad.

Similar circumstances to you: masters educated girl (planning to study a PHD), middle class parents.

Not bad? You call 80% loss on 1 million baht not bad.. and a very high possibility the remaining 20% will be spent on/by her.

I'd say its pretty farkde if u ask me!!!

[oogster8]

For me it was 1 million which I understood a significant portion would be returned. In the end, about half of it went to the cost of a big wedding, 20% for the parents and maybe 20-30% back to me. Well, not too bad.

Similar circumstances to you: masters educated girl (planning to study a PHD), middle class parents.

not sure but i think this is what guys mean when they say marriages worked out ok. what they mean is it could have been a whole lot worse.................lol.

i remember a farang bar owners was asked how many bargil marriages worked out. he didnt say some do some dont.-- he said all fail................lol.

[Somtamnication]

Well, he ain't back. So either he is dead, he is a troll or the family have adopted him, similar to how foxes adopt chickens.

[advancebooking]

a million seems steep... are you sure she's being straight with you?

as for meeting the parents, be yourself - assuming you're not a drunken slob...

the worrying thing is third party advice; thai's a renown for listening to and taking on board friends and family advice that can be given more put of jealousy or spite than a genuine desire to be constructive and helpful. the only hope you have is that your GF is independently minded enough to make her own decisions. good luck.

Agree that One Million seems steep for me to. My Wife is University Educated as well and I paid 200,000 Baht, which I could afford. Her younger sister just got married to a Thai and hers was the same as mine. But I think they offered them more Gold as well.

To help solve your unemployment problem, invest in a Good Gold Ring and then Watch, if you can afford both. Thais see Gold as the same as seeing Money. So as long as they see your Gold Ring, they will know you have money and not worry anymore. Believe Me! They will be more impressed with your Gold Ring than a bunch of Diploma's from a Man who isn't working.

gold plated then ? if hes not a jeweller he wont know the difference and its a nice insurance policy if they are trying to

fleece another stupid farang

No! Real Gold! I think 98.50% is about 23K, or is it 96.50%? But anyway this is about as high and pure as you can get in jewellery. The Gold Ring is for Him, and not for her or their family. So no matter what happens this will belong to him. True they all may not know the difference on appearance, but if anyone wants to see it up close the weight will give the cheaper ring away. As will the writing on the inside of the Ring. Like 23K (Real) or No writing (which means Worthless!).

From reading many posts, there may be some confusion on this young mans mind as to visiting the Parents and Sin Sod. Many say it is too early. Many say it is not. The truth is, they would both be right. The reason for this is that you must make at least 2 visits to her Parents Place.The first visit is for them to meet you and see what kind of person you are like. Thai's in general are not judgemental on anyone, which means you don't have to show up in a new Mercedes and you need help getting out of your Sports Car as you as so weighted down by all the Gold you are wearing. But I can't say that by doing this, that this will hurt your cause either.

I don't agree that all you should do is "Be Yourself". I Hate that expression because it is so full of it! You are going to meet her Parents for the first time! If "Being Yourself" is sitting around most of the day in your Underwear, and wearing "I Love Sigha Beer!" T-shirts, like me, and probably you to later, it is not a good idea to show up this way. Although again, Thai's are not judgemental.

Wear nice clean comfortable clothes and after shower ASAP. Thai's are perhaps the cleanest people on earth. My Thai Wife will shower at least 3 or 4 times a day everyday and her family not much different. They will tolerate a man with many drinks under his belt before a sober one, with dirty clothes and hadn't showered for a week.

Whether you like it or not, you are going to this first visit to get the Parents Approval. You can read many people here that will agreed to this, or disagree. Some here that their first visit was a disaster. But the bottom line here Son, is that without her Parents Approval of you, your life with her will become more difficult.

Thai Daughters are also far different than Western Daughters. My Western Teenage Daughter told me one time to "F-Off" because she was only 14 Years Old and I would not let her go to a "Drinking Party" full of 18 Year Old Men. Well, actually it was 1 time for me she said this and 2 times for her. Because it was her First and also the Last Time she ever did that to me!

While Thai Daughters will never say that to their Fathers at any age! I have never heard of a case here in my life. So the approval she is seeking is from the Head of the House and Her Father. But Thai Men are also heavily influenced by their wives. I guess in this regard they are a lot like us. They would sooner agree with their wife than argue with her. So her Mother's Approval is probably the most important.

The gifts these guys here suggest for this first visit were all very good. I brought some very good Whiskey for her Father. I probably would have brought Flowers for her Mother but my first visit to them was because of a Funeral, and the loss of my Wife's Mother's Brother. So I did not think flowers would be acceptable at a time like that.

Had I had another shot at it I would have also brought chocolates for the kids. It seems all Thais come from extended families. So don't be surprised if you see a bunch of kids running around even on your first visit. More importantly if you see your GF pick up this child and hug and kiss him like her own, then it isn't hers from another man. All Thais Love Kids! The True Father & Mother are the ones who finally get their kids back, at the end of the day,to take home. So the Chocolate is for the kids and a way of saying that you care about children also. Even if you don't!

With this advice I am sure you will win their approval. You may then have many other visits after that time. They will treat you like family. But until you are married you are not family! But also consider this visit like a Job Interview. That you are not only their to get the Job (Your GF) but also their to see what Job (GF & Family) you might be accepting later. Won't waist of time or space telling you about my first visit except to say it went quite well. Probably drank too much for my first time, but it was okay because I brought the Whiskey, including my own, and it was a Funeral, which most Thai's Drink a lot then to.

But what I am trying to say is that this was also the first time for me to see how my GF (then) interacted with her family. To see where she fits in position in her family. For me to see how they respected her, and thus me. It also gave them time to see how she treated me with love and kindness and how she looked after me. But if things go well, you then move on to Sin-sod!

I read a lot of post here about that. For and against! Most posts stated why and this being a Thai Custom for Centuries. I like that great poster here who said that Sin-sod" is mostly for show. How true that is! Also laughed about the ones being a "Cheap Charlie" and telling you that you only pay this for "Virgins". The term "Sod" in "Sin-sod"

Now you seem like a practical and sensible man. Where the Hell are you going to find a Virgin in her Mid 20's besides maybe an Arab Country? Laughed harder when someone wanted to know why she was not married yet. If that was my GF, and she was 25 Years Old, I would be more concerned that she was still a Virgin and would be double checking all the equipment down their, then if she was married or not. Do you know what I mean Son?

Sin-sod! To Pay or Not to Pay? I am in total agreement to pay this! It is a "Thai Tradition!". My only advice to "Everyone" is if you come here to change Thai Women, Thai's, or Thai Tradition, then stay home! I will even hook you up with my Western X-Wife their who screwed me worst than any story I every read here about Thai Women and Farangs. Maybe it is only worst as it happened to them later in life. But I bet they had more than $50 in their wallet when it happened here.

Someone said that Sin-sod is only for show, which I agreed. But I also see this as little different compared to the West. Let me tell you about my Oldest Daughters Wedding in Canada in 1994. She was marrying into a Well-to-do Family. Of course she wanted to look her best like any woman their would on this Special Day. It was her right to pick out her Wedding Dress.

Against my better judgement and after days and mountains of tears, I gave in to my daughter and agreed to buy the dress she wanted. I still remember it. All Lacy, Silk, and Velvet, with even some Pearls at the Neck Line. I paid $6,000+ for that dress back then, which now I figure with inflation is about $8,500, or about 255,000 Baht.

Now to all you guys out there who would do the same as I did in the West, and give into your daughters wishes, if you could afford it,(or not) and loved her like I did, can you please tell me why a dress she will wear for only one day is so important to everyone? Especially Her! Could it be for "Show Only?" Of Course it is!

But yet for so many here, they are against Sin-sod! Even when they are willing to spend the same amount of money for one Wedding Dress back home. Then after buying this dress giving that money to total strangers, instead of giving it to a Thai Family who will be your family to, which you hope for the rest of your life. Who will make much better use of this money then for some stupid over-priced Wedding Dress, put in some box some place, and long forgotten about.

To add to this story, this same daughter is recently divorced and like most people going through divorce she is in need of money, for lawyers and such. Now had I given my daughter for her wedding $6,000 in Gold, instead of that Wedding Dress, which if I recall Gold was selling really low then, and around $200-$300, it would be worth 4 times that now. Which means she could easily sell it for $24,000, covering all her expenses now and when she needs it most. What is an Old Wedding Dress worth anyway these days, that is 20 Years Old now, and in which she might sell at some yard sale?

Do you see my point now about this whole Sin-sod idea? Just because it is "Different", then what you are used to....it doesn't make it worst! It only makes it "Different!" I also don't care how long any of you have lived here! Some people will never change and can't adjust to something "Different" at any age, or how long they call Thailand there home! You read that proof here everyday!

But the truth is, a Weddings back home will always cost you far more then here, which in most cases with Sin-sod included. So you are actually saving money by getting married here. And that is always a Good Idea! Who do you think is going to buy your New Wife that Wedding Dress back home, if you got married in your country? Her Parents? No Chance! Or the Flight Tickets, Hotels Room, and Expenses, to bring over part of her Family at least? As I already said, Sin-sod also makes a Hell of a lot more sense to me then buying some silly dress that can only be worn for one day, for show, then becomes useless .

So Son, if you are still with me this far and agreement with me about paying the Sin-sod, the next step is "How Much?". The very Best Advice I can give you on this is what many people here already told you. It is too early to talk about Sin-sod! You hardly know this woman! If you jump on-board too quick, you will almost certainly be abandoning this ship sooner than later. It is always easier to get on then get off, which I am guessing you know this already at your age, and divorced once by now.

But your circumstances also sound a bit different than most posters here. Your GF lives with her Family, and I highly doubt they would let her move in with you if you live in the same city, and not married. Maybe not ever, or until after marriage. I don't know. But if you can give it some time it is best to do that. A lot of things can happen to you and her, in a year or two, including Financial. All Families will understand that you want to wait a bit to get married to organize your lives and set up your financial support (a job). They would prefer that anyway. This also gives them a chance to get to know you better, and see how you treat their daughter, which should lower this Sin-sod price also.

But if you want the answer to Sin-sod now, to get some idea for the future, or don't want to wait, here is my 2 Pennies Worth. You are not expected to go to this Sin-sod meeting with her Parents. This is expected to be done by an older member in your family, or preferred your Parents. This is the time they negotiate the price, which if you are not involved you will not be offended later.

In your case, like mine, this may not be possible. In that case let your future wife handle this. She may not know your true finances, even then, but if you live in a Rented Million Baht per Month Condo in Bangkok, this will give them some idea of what you can afford.....and should pay. If you have other financial obligations, like a child from a previous marriage, let them know that and that you are supporting them now to. You will gain a lot of respect for saying this and doing this.

The truth is that it was my Daughter from another marriage who smoothed the way for me. Who I brought to Thailand for the Summer who my GF's (then) Parents met just after they met me. They fell into love with this Blond Hair Blue Eyed Giant Kid and I take her to see them every summer. But it was her that actually smoothed the way with all of them. This is because if I was willing to share my daughter with them, then they were willing to share everything with me to. Which they have done.

As stated early, I don't like this 1 Million Baht Sin-sod deal. It is simply far too much to pay. Mostly because I also don't like the idea that they will give you back this money, as this is NOT the true Thai Tradition of Sin-sod. To me it is like renting a Wedding Dress, then tearing it out of your daughters hands the next day, to return it to the store. We do it with the Tux, but guys are different. Also, and as far as they are concerned, their daughter may be a Virgin, as mother and daughter never discuss that here, and before marriage. Unless you are living together a long time that is, which you have not.

Nobody can really say how much you should offer, as nobody here really knows your true finances. But your future wife will. I would much rather give them 200,000 Baht, or 300,000 Baht Maximum to keep, and some Gold for Father and Mother, which is adding another 30,000 to 60,000 more Baht, then 1 Million they say they will give back. It is for show but to me it is still not honest. Lies have short legs! To me this suggestion just puts up the warning lights in my mind.

Honest People are Honest People! Thieves and Crooks are not! From other Posters it has worked out fine this way in the past. I have no doubt! I am only saying I would not do it this way. If they really want to give the money back they still can and will, no matter how much you give them. But what I do know for sure is there is no shame in giving 300,000 to 500,000 Baht and Gold to the Parents to the winner of Miss Thai Beauty Pageant or a Thai Soap Opera Movie Star. Okay! For Miss Beauty Pageant, maybe a little more. But that is it!

For sure it is a very serious time Son, and not to be taken lightly. My Wife's Little Sister recently got married to a Thai Guy working Over-seas and almost didn't get married because of this. His Family offered 90,000 Baht and some gold and my Wife's Family turned them down. Which in Thailand means No Marriage. Without a settlement neither family would except the other, or their children. They finally came back and upped the offer to 200,000 Baht and some Gold, and what I paid. All was happy after that.

In closing I just want to mention my favorite post here from a guy who refused to pay any Sin-sod, then was delighted that her Parents started finally talking to him again, after 3 MONTHS! Is that the way you really want to start you knew life with your new wife, and her family? Over the price of a Wedding Dress? Man this one killed me and I really was LOL. I bet he doesn't know that my Mother Hated my First Wife, but only talked to her when she had to, to keep the piece, as we were married. Never said one word to her after the divorce.

But as they say in Thailand, "Up To You!".

Oh Ya! You won't understand a word they say on your first visit, or her extended family at least, but just keep smiling. This is the Land of Smiles!

Goldbuggy has spoken the most sense out of all the posters here. I think I might just have agreed with all his narrative and had a laugh along the way.