How can I get a ex-girlfriend to move out?

[samran]

grow a set...

[nottocus]

You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Wow...u r so amazing. U can deduce all this from never having met her before?

[wym]

wym, every other post of yours I've read so far has been articulate and on point. For this one, though, you needed to have read the specifics. Interesting as general advice, but I'd rather read your thoughts on the situation as written in the original post.

Why thanks, nice to hear sincere feedback for a change.

My intention was not just laziness but to answer the broader question by covering the variables involved.

And these variables (on their relative power) haven't been given, so can't really give practical advice.

The below still stands though:

either to move out myself when she isn't around to cause a scene, relocate to a completely new area, or pretend that everything's fine but suddenly develop money problems and/or start being less friendly, giving her less and less of what she wants from me.

It shouldn't be too hard to bring her round to the conclusion that the pastures are greener and move on of her own volition.

Do NOT think that your fooling around with other girls will bring this decision about in a way you want, it will just escalate things, cause problems where there aren't any now, unforeseen and unintended consequences.

Now having gone back and read the details and your concerns, I have to say I'm not such a bleeding heart.

This country is full of desperate people, and those of us visitors that are a bit more fortunate still have very limited resources.

Doing "the right thing" in this context for me is simply being honest and giving her a decent severance package, maybe two weeks or so if that's affordable for the OP.

He has no obligations to her morally IMO, she knew it was a commercial transaction from the beginning and sure she's devastated that her hopes for more haven't materialized but - tough cookies.

More than likely she is simply using emotional blackmail to try to get her hooks in, but even if she's 100% sincere - tough cookies.

The only remaining advice would be practical logistics, and we don't have enough detail to offer, and in fact I don't see that as the OP's dilemma, he's just trying to be a nice guy, inappropriately so given the circumstances IMO setting himself up to be a sucker in the waters where he's fishing.

[wym]

You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Wow...u r so amazing. U can deduce all this from never having met her before?

Yes projecting a whole fantasy spun from his cultural brainwashing, probably Kristof-style media pieces.

But the immature part is likely true if she isn't just a good actor working the long con.

In the very early stages of their career, a farang customer/boyfriend is very often the first glimpse these girls get of a kind-hearted romantic relationship, they've often led such a sheltered life growing up, and then raped/abused by a neighbor/relative and tossed out to work the bars, if you happen to catch them early enough and take them home and treat them nicely like someone else posted they can "imprint" on you like a duckling and become irrationally attached and dependent.

Coupled with "white knight syndrome" a potent recipe for relationship disaster.

But works out well once in a while I'm sure as long as both parties are willing to play along.

[Mojomor]

Ask Francois Hollonde --- he's an expert.

[thefamilyjules]

You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Wow...u r so amazing. U can deduce all this from never having met her before?

Yes projecting a whole fantasy spun from his cultural brainwashing, probably Kristof-style media pieces.

But the immature part is likely true if she isn't just a good actor working the long con.

In the very early stages of their career, a farang customer/boyfriend is very often the first glimpse these girls get of a kind-hearted romantic relationship, they've often led such a sheltered life growing up, and then raped/abused by a neighbor/relative and tossed out to work the bars, if you happen to catch them early enough and take them home and treat them nicely like someone else posted they can "imprint" on you like a duckling and become irrationally attached and dependent.

Coupled with "white knight syndrome" a potent recipe for relationship disaster.

But works out well once in a while I'm sure as long as both parties are willing to play along.

I've been culturally deconditioned to a fair extent after a half year in China and nearly 5 years in the Land of Smut. Though my analysis was rather pedantic, much of it comes from the what I've witnessed of the sex industry in Asia, my work as a teacher of former prostitutes who were trafficked as children, and my research and work in prevention of human trafficking of children in this country. I wish I were completely and totally off base, that there were no need for this discussion in the first place.

[wym]

All that may well be true, won't express my opinion on that.

In my experience, the incidence of what you're talking about within that part of the sex industry that caters to westerners is close enough to nil.

However it is true that "being trafficked" is often used in ambiguous ways, conjuring up worst-case connotations on normal situations.

A relative or family friend bringing the single-mother outcast to Pattaya to get into the business, when the girl and parents know what's going on, doesn't fit my definition of that sensationalist term.

[jaiithailand]

I'm Thai woman ,reading about your thought guys!probably she loves you real. Feel sorry for her,you gonna leave her alone. Many way you can do it. Change place to stay,change mobile, skype and etc...email too,close and delete dont use it again,even you blocked her,she still try to make new email contact you. I heard some story the man dont want his girl anymore, he lets friend and family tell his girls is deied LOL good idea man! i did also when i hate someone dont want to know and contact them.good luck!

[wym]

May this serve as a cautionary case study - as if there weren't already hundreds here - to take basic precautions when initially entering into a more intensive relationship with your new Thai bedmate.

Set things up so you can disappear overnight, vanish off the face of the earth and she has no way to ever track you down or cause you embarrassment.

Not hard to do, just a little extra expense.

Ideally you set up a separate cheap flat for your liaisons and never let her know where you usually live or work.

And of course this allows you to have more than one at a time on probation before you settle on miss right. . .

[claffey]

get yourself tested too..hope u haven't caught it..

Sent from my Vodafone Smart II using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[CraigSchuler]

You created the monster.....You feed it!

[A1Str8]

Just make her move out! That's how.

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[JLCrab]

May this serve as a cautionary case study - as if there weren't already hundreds here - to take basic precautions when initially entering into a more intensive relationship with your new Thai bedmate.

Set things up so you can disappear overnight, vanish off the face of the earth and she has no way to ever track you down or cause you embarrassment.

Not hard to do, just a little extra expense.

Ideally you set up a separate cheap flat for your liaisons and never let her know where you usually live or work.

And of course this allows you to have more than one at a time on probation before you settle on miss right. . .

And of course, conversely, depending on the variety of Thai female you are trying to attract, you might want to rent a nice well-appointed apartment for your liaisons and live in the separate cheap rental flat yourself.

[HeavyDrinker]

Tell her ur a chocolate speedway rider and maybe she'll p off. If not, leave and get a new sim.

Magnificent. One expands one's vocabulary daily here on Thai Visa.....

My advice, do a crunch in her handbag and leg it....

[crazykopite]

Play with fire and you end up getting burnt you have used this girl for self gratification and now your bored with her you want her out is that how you treat all your woman folk !! Got no pity for you you make your choices in life then you end up coming on a forum asking what should you do maybe you should have asked before you allowed her to move in most members would have warned you off there and then there is only one person who can sort out this mess and that is you mind you if you post her pic maybe another member will take her off your hands if she's a pretty chick !!

[ezzra]

Bring a buffalo or two in the house, the stanch will make her leave.....

[mogandave]

Tell her ur a chocolate speedway rider and maybe she'll p off. If not, leave and get a new sim.

Magnificent. One expands one's vocabulary daily here on Thai Visa.....

My advice, do a crunch in her handbag and leg it....

I thought it was Hershey Highway?

But at at 5,000 a go, I imagine she's used to that.

Just tell her she needs to come up with a girlfriend to help you two maintain the excitement. If that doesn't work, bring a pal home and team her. If that doesn't work, keep her.

[draftvader]

You could just act like you've had a breakdown. Start with peeing in the wardrobe whilst continuing a conversation as normal. If that doesn't disturb her then keep crapping next to the toilet on the floor and leaving it there. Think of other weirdly antisocial activities (like masturbating whilst you are both watching TV together) and see how long she stays for.

Of course you will be known locally for all these things but you will be rid of her.

[mogandave]

Play with fire and you end up getting burnt...

Or you learn how to handle, respect, exploit and utilize it to your own benefit.

[jamhar]

Move + change SIM.

Exactly! Problem solved.

I'm not sure what the issue is. want to live alone? move!

[jacko45k]

I actually feel sorry for the girl.

She perhaps felt she had found her way out and had pinned all her hopes there... to have them pulled from her.

There are some awfully cruel and heartless suggestions here.

BUT.... one has to be cruel to be kind. Start bringing other women home, never have any physical contact with her.

Tell her you want her to go as you don't love her and want her to move on, find someone else blah blah AND are prepared to give her money to get started anew.

One day it will sink in, along with the shame of other women.

She will be back at the bar soon enough.

Best I can think of beyond physically tossing her out.

[KonKorat]

Just sit her down and be an honest guy. Nothing wrong with moving on in your life. Say you are not interested in being with her anymore and you think you should both move on. Time to move out and you wish her the best of luck ect.... She will resist but be persistent not aggressive just speak in a clam voice with her. Let her know that you want her to find a guy who will be willing to stay with her as you simply are not.

a clam voice? does this mean he has to mime and try to keep his mouth closed like a clam?i would have sugested to him to speak in a calm voice hehehehehe

[oneday]

Move + change SIM.

It may not be easy or convenient, but that's your answer.

However, if you are still in the same town where you met then sooner or later she may find you again and you'll have to do it all over again. Thai girls can latch on very strongly.

[HeavyDrinker]

I too feel sorry for the lass, she's been treated as a piece of meat all her life and no matter what is in her bank will compensate for her need to be loved or give love.

Whatever you do, do it gently laddie....

[sirchai]

Are you a man, or a female cat? Tell your Bukake gf to get the <deleted> out of your place. Or I'll start to call you Mother Theresa.-

[wym]

And of course, conversely, depending on the variety of Thai female you are trying to attract, you might want to rent a nice well-appointed apartment for your liaisons and live in the separate cheap rental flat yourself.

Well the "main" one should IMO be the one you get to keep long-term, whereas the cheap places are relatively temporary, low rent low deposit so if when you need to walk away it's NBD. Idea is the only girl you bring back to the main place is the one you're ready to marry.

And when she talks to the security guard, maids street vendors neighbors etc. everyone will back up your image as Mr Clean rather than Mr Butterfly.

[rotary]

Move out and leave the place to her, change the area you stay in, change bars you go to, change your phone number and delete her phone number for when you get weak & drunk.

It is MOVEON.ORG time mate.

Use better judgement next time for anything longer than a dirty weekend.

[aussimike]

Take everything of value that you can. Move out and return in a few days. She will be gone.

Kiss good bye to anything you leave behind, cloths etc as i had all of my cloths slached, computer screen box knifed, all crockery smached, glass door to balcony broken, the list goes on and on, first time i started to talk with her we went tropo, and tried to beat me up, amazing the strength of a crazed thai sicophant female, and a mate of mine had predicted what the reaction would be like as he went through something similar, seems they all react in the same way, lot to do about face saving, family discrace, loss of income, and food - they sure dont take this issue laying down, seems they only like this position when getting paid for it. but if you have any indicaton of violance and forget the security -- remember your the white farang,, she is sweet thai virgin, they all hate you for screwing their women so if your seeking help from them forget it - i tried and thought i was gonna get beaten up by them also, only the manger saved me here- called a friend to come stay with me for a week or more- she did a great job with all my cloths - everything - slashed and i mean slashed not just once - even the bed room stuff - sheets pillows - did not miss much at all - burnt all my pics, but the laptop was the top draw, they are totally sweet when your getting to know them - after that forget it -- i am now engaged to a beautiful chinese lady - never asked for anything, thais are the total opposite to the chinese, like compare a nice peach to a durian, i learnt my lesson for sure, all i can say - if she had male friends dont be there alone - get a friend to come stay or tell her your going to stay with him as he is sick with a broken leg and cannot afford hospital.. but get her out - goooood luck

[minikev]

It's one of those horrible messy situations that has to be faced from time to time.

I'm sure you knew it wasn't forever when you were gratifying yourself and probably lying to her. She on the other hand probably always had dreams of putting the past behind. Now you are bored she doesn't only lose the person she trusted she will probably have to go back to what she did before. With less trust and hope of ever getting away from it.

Tell her straight it is done! You will have to refrain from cuddling her when she cries. Turn your back and start packing her stuff. She will hurt and perhaps you will learn your actions have consequences. Try to learn from them. If you want a totally selfish life with the freedom to flit about as you wish. Don't use the love word easily and don't give false hope.

Don't give her cash to leave, find another way to help her move on. The cash will remind her of older times.

[oogster8]

this really matters guys. She probably was NEVER his girlfriend.